91. Relationship
As the night deepened, the old house became quiet and empty. Jiang Nan leaned in Chen Yunsheng's arms, feeling his steady heartbeat.
"Mom seemed to have looked at me a few more times today," Jiang Nan suddenly said. She thought of Su Wanrong's eyes, which were always cold and indifferent, and seemed to have softened a little today.
Chen Yunsheng's hand stroking her hair paused slightly.
Jiang Nan looked up at him: "What's wrong?"
Chen Yunsheng was silent for a moment before he slowly spoke: "She must be confirming."
"Confirm what?"
"Confirm that I'm serious about you," he said calmly, "and confirm whether you're really suitable to be by my side."
Jiang Nan's heart stirred, and she remembered those vague scrutiny and scrutiny she had received before. She had always thought Su Wanrong was just cold-hearted by nature, but now it seemed that wasn't entirely the case.
"Mom," Jiang Nan chose his words carefully, "always seems calm."
Chen Yunsheng looked down at her, his expression becoming a little complicated: "She's always been like this. She treats me the same way."
This remark reminded Jiang Nan of some of the signs he had noticed. Su Wanrong was polite and considerate to Chen Yunsheng, but there was little of the usual mother-son intimacy. And Chen Yunsheng, in turn, always maintained a healthy dose of respect for his mother, lacking the casualness that characterizes motherhood.
"You and your mother..." Jiang Nan hesitated, not knowing how to ask.
Chen Yunsheng pulled her into his arms, then looked out the window at the dark night with a slightly self-deprecating expression.
"My mother and father had a typical business marriage," he said softly. "They only met three times before they got married."
Jiang Nan listened quietly.
"My father needed a wife who could help him stabilize his family and expand his network. My mother needed the Chen family's resources and status to consolidate the Su family's business. It was fair for both parties to get what they needed," Chen Yunsheng continued. "They probably saw my birth as completing a necessary task."
Jiang Nan couldn't help but hold his hand tightly.
"When I was little, my grandmother and nanny took care of me most of the time. My mother was very busy, managing part of the Su family's business and fulfilling the social responsibilities of the Chen family's wife," Chen Yunsheng continued. "She was very strict with me. Etiquette, academics, talents—everything had to be the best. She said I was an heir, and an heir couldn't have any shortcomings."
His voice was still steady, but Jiang Nan could feel the loneliness hidden beneath the calmness.
"I remember when I was about seven or eight years old, I made a clay cup in a handicraft class at school. It was ugly, but I was very happy and wanted to give it to her," Chen Yunsheng said after a pause. "She took one look at it and said it was a waste of time and that I should spend my time on more valuable things. Then she asked the nanny to take it away, and I never saw the cup again."
When a child is filled with joy and wants to share his or her work, but is rejected so coldly by the person closest to him or her, he or she will most likely feel puzzled and uneasy. However, the child is in a weak position, so he or she will naturally obey orders and dare not question them.
"She rarely hugged me and rarely smiled at me. In my memory, the words she said to me most often were what you should do and what you can't do."
The room was very quiet, with only Chen Yunsheng's low voice flowing slowly.
"After my grandmother passed away, I was very sad for a while, and my grades dropped a bit. She talked to me and said sadness was a sign of weakness, and an heir couldn't be weak," Chen Yunsheng smiled. "That's when I realized that in her eyes, I was first an heir, and only then her son."
Jiang Nan finally understood why Chen Yunsheng always appeared calm and composed, why he was so unaccustomed to expressing his feelings, and why he had chosen to use an agreement to find marriage. It was because he grew up in an environment where feelings were least valued, even seen as a weakness. And since he was someone who valued relationships, he would rather find an unrelated person to take that position than to be tied to someone so hastily.
"So... do you hate her?" Jiang Nan asked in a low voice.
Chen Yunsheng was silent for a long time, so long that Jiang Nan thought he would not answer.
"No hatred," he finally said, "She is also a product of that environment. The identity of the daughter of the Su family and the responsibility of the wife of the Chen family have weighed on her all her life. She is just training me in the way she thinks is right, to ensure that I can shoulder the future of the Chen family."
He looked down at Jiang Nan. "As I grew up, I gradually understood. There was no love between her and my father. To her, marriage was just a long-term business partnership. All her energy and expectations were placed on me. It was just that her way of doing things made it difficult for me to feel the so-called maternal love."
Jiang Nan thought of Su Wanrong's always calm and indifferent eyes. Perhaps that wasn't indifference, but rather a long period of self-suppression and self-armor. In a loveless marriage, in a family where profit was everything, she had long been accustomed to using reason to handle everything, including her interactions with her son.
"After Grandma left, the house became even colder," Chen Yunsheng sighed softly. "That's why I... clung tightly to the little warmth Grandpa gave me, even though that warmth was tinged with guilt towards Grandma."
Jiang Nan hugged him tightly. She now fully understood why the bustling home in Jichuan, the spontaneous care and affection of Jiang Youhua and Hong Qiuping, had such a strong appeal to Chen Yunsheng. It was the most ordinary yet precious thing he had always lacked in his life.
"What about now?" Jiang Nan raised his head. "You and your mother..."
"It's good like this now," Chen Yunsheng touched her face. "We maintain a proper distance and respect each other. She recognizes my abilities and no longer interferes with my decisions. I also fulfill my responsibilities as a son. This is probably the most comfortable way for us to get along."
His tone was calm, but Jiang Nan could still detect a hint of regret. After all, she was his mother. Blood ties, how could there really be no hope?
"Maybe," Jiang Nan said hesitantly, "Mom is just not used to expressing herself. I can see that she cares about you. When she looked at you at the family dinner today, there was affirmation in her eyes."
Chen Yunsheng smiled and said nothing.
Jiang Nan, however, made a secret decision. She couldn't change the past, but perhaps, in the future, she could slowly soften the invisible barrier between mother and son. At the very least, she could be a bridge, bringing a little more warmth to this family.
"Next time I go back, I'll try to chat with Mom more?" she asked tentatively. "For example, about flower arrangement and tea ceremony. She seems to like these things very much."
Chen Yunsheng looked into her sparkling eyes full of kindness and smiled gently. He knew she wanted to do something for him.
"Okay," he bent down and kissed her forehead, "Whatever you like. But don't push yourself too hard."
"No," Jiang Nan leaned back into his arms, "I just think that as a family, we should act like a family."
A family.
This word made Chen Yunsheng's heart move slightly.
He recalled how, as a child, he had secretly envied the noisy, cozy lives of his classmates' homes. As he grew older, he stopped dwelling on such unrealistic things. That was until Jiang Nan appeared, bringing her own vibrant energy and warmth, clumsily yet resolutely pushing her way into his serious and orderly world.
"Nannan." He called her softly.
"Um?"
"Thank you."
Jiang Nan shook her head and hugged him tighter: "Idiot."
The two people hugged each other and stopped talking.
A few days later, the afterglow of the holiday gradually faded away, and Chen Yunsheng and Jiang Nan returned to their apartment in the city center.
Life is back on track.
One weekend afternoon, while sorting boxes from her old apartment, Jiang Nan discovered a photo album from her college days. She sat cross-legged on the carpet and flipped through the pages.
After Chen Yunsheng finished dealing with the emails, he walked over and sat down next to her.
In the photos, Jiang Nan looked much younger than he does now. He was wearing a simple sweatpants suit, his arm around Wenwen's shoulder, and he smiled broadly at the camera. There were also photos of him studying hard in the library, participating in club activities, and taking pictures of the scenery while traveling.
"This was during my sophomore year," Jiang Nan said, pointing to a photo taken on the top of a mountain with a gorgeous sunrise in the background. "We got up at three in the morning to climb the mountain and were freezing to death, but when we saw the sunrise, it felt like it was all worth it."
Chen Yunsheng listened quietly as she told the stories behind each photo, which were about a vibrant youth in which he had no part.
She turned to a photo of Jiang Nan and her parents. In it, Hong Qiuping had her arm around her daughter's shoulders, while Jiang Youhua stood on the other side, all three smiling happily. In the background was Jichuan's hometown, with a few pots of flowers on the windowsill.
"This photo was taken the year I graduated from college." Jiang Nan's fingers gently brushed across the photo.
Chen Yunsheng's eyes lingered for a moment on the brilliant smiles of Jiang Nan's parents. That kind of unconditional, proud love was something he rarely saw on his own parents' faces.
"Your parents have a good relationship." He concluded.
Jiang Nan nodded. "They sometimes bicker, but my dad is always the first to give in. My mom appears to dislike my dad for being too honest, but she actually relies on him."
As she spoke, she suddenly turned her head and looked at Chen Yunsheng: "When you were a child... did your parents accompany you? For example, to the amusement park, or to attend parent-teacher conferences?"
Chen Yunsheng was silent for a moment, then shook his head. "Father is very busy. Mother...occasionally attends parent-teacher conferences, but afterward she usually has a private chat with the teacher to learn about my grades and performance. As for the amusement park—" He paused, "I've never been there."
"Then next time we go back, let my dad take you fishing!" She tried to lighten the mood. "My dad's fishing is—actually, pretty average. Nine times out of ten, he comes back empty-handed. But he just loves the process. He says it calms his mind."
Chen Yunsheng looked at how she was trying to make him feel the warmth of a normal family, and reached out to hold her in his arms.
"Okay." He agreed softly.
Perhaps he could never have a childhood as joyful and cheerful as Jiang Nan's, but fortunately, he met her. Her arrival was like a ray of sunshine, illuminating his orderly yet boring world and bringing him warmth and color that he had never expected.
Let him start learning to express, learn to accept, and learn how to love someone.
This process was not easy, and sometimes he even felt clumsy. But every time he saw Jiang Nan's surprised smile after a clumsy hug or a straightforward expression of concern, he felt that all the attempts were worth it.
Then he looked down at the person in his arms. She was holding her phone, excitedly looking for a short trip for the weekend, as if she wanted to fill his life with happiness.
Looking at her like this, Chen Yunsheng suddenly felt that the past full of regrets seemed no longer so important.
What matters is the present and the future.
It was this woman named Jiang Nan who broke into his life with all her sincerity and warmth, filling his black, white and gray world with colorful colors.
"Where do you think we should go?" Jiang Nan asked him with a smile.
Hearing this, Chen Yunsheng leaned over and gently kissed the top of her head.
"Wherever you want to go, we'll go there."
——End of the full text——
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