52.Edited by Zhou Cheng
After finishing the most important portion of the old documents, Chi Jin rubbed her swollen brows and her gaze fell on the silver-gray USB drive—the one Chen Yisheng had left for Faces before leaving, claiming it contained potentially useful historical data. She hesitated for a moment before finally plugging it into her computer.
The USB drive contained rows of neatly organized folders, meticulously filed by year and project, as meticulous as he was. Chi Jin's lips curled unconsciously; this was very Chen Yisheng.
The mouse wheel slid downwards, and when it almost reached the bottom, her movement suddenly stopped.
In a row of folders starting with the letter Z, a document named "Zhou Cheng" suddenly popped up.
Zhou Cheng?
Isn't this the editor she has been looking for?
Does Chen Yisheng know him?
Then why haven't you said it before?
She turned her head abruptly and cast her eyes on the cardboard box covered with a thin layer of dust next to her workstation - it was the "past manuscripts" temporarily stored with her while the department sorted out the information.
Almost immediately, she squatted down and began rummaging through the box. Inside were bound volumes of magazines from previous years, review process sheets, and some yellowed work notes. She flipped through them one by one, her fingertips stained with the dust of time.
Not this one... nor this one...
Her heartbeat inexplicably quickened, with an almost obsessive eagerness. Finally, a dark blue hardcover notebook caught her eye. It looked quite old, the cover unmarked, but thick and sturdy, with slightly worn edges, as if it had been repeatedly handled and flipped through.
As if drawn by fate, she opened it.
The inner pages weren't a personal diary; they were indeed work notes. Page after page, in neat, slightly immature penmanship, yet hinting at the strength of his future work, recorded meticulous analyses of submitted articles, ideas for layout, and questions about the angles of interviews.
Chi Jin's heart skipped a beat for no apparent reason. She flipped through the pages quickly until she came to a certain page where a few lines of text suddenly took her breath away.
At the top of the page was a date, the spring of her junior year of college. Below it was clearly written:
"Today, I was reviewing freelance submissions. An essay titled "Crossroads," signed by 'Qianjinding,' was submitted to the People in My Life column. It had a unique perspective and the writing was brilliant, far surpassing the typical student submissions. I recommended it for publication. Editor Zhou, however, rejected it as 'too student-like and lacking depth.' What a pity for such talent."
The words "Editor Zhou" pierced Chi Jin's mind like a needle. Zhou Cheng? The Editor Zhou she'd been searching for so long, the one who'd given her her first chance?
Her fingers trembled as she scrolled downwards.
A few days later, there was another record:
"I once again communicated with editor Zhou about the 'Qianjinding' article. I argued my case, offering to use my internship as a guarantee, and suggested that it be revised and published in the People Around Us column. Zhou finally relented, but insisted that the reply email be signed under his name. I had no choice but to agree. I hope this article will be published as scheduled."
Email! Sign!
Chi Jin felt as if all the blood in her body suddenly rushed to her head, then abruptly retreated, leaving behind cold fingertips and a pounding eardrum. She stared at the words in disbelief. So… so the editor "Zhou Cheng" who appreciated her, responded to her emails, and ultimately translated her writings into print wasn't Zhou Cheng himself? But this… this intern who wrote the notes?
Who is it? Chen Yisheng?
She flipped through the pages frantically, looking for more clues.
Finally, on the last page of the notebook, she saw a small line of signature practice that seemed to be written unconsciously - "Chen Yisheng".
It exploded like a thunder in my mind.
Chen Yisheng!
It’s Chen Yisheng!
Was it him who had spotted her so many years ago, when she was just a university student with literary dreams, submitting work after work only to have it rejected? Was it him who, against all odds, even risked his own internship, secured a chance for her work to be published? And yet, due to pressure from his superiors and authorship rules, he was never able to share this joy with her in his true identity. Even when she struggled to find an editor named "Zhou Cheng" after joining the company, he chose to remain silent, allowing her to misunderstand him?
Over the years, he watched her search and lost. He looked at her silently without saying anything.
Why?
Countless images flashed before her eyes: his seemingly harsh but always to-the-point guidance during their internship; the subtle disappointment in his eyes when she was slacking off; the seemingly casual but actually crucial opportunity he gave her after she regained her confidence; his calm words, "Do it your way, I'll take responsibility," when she proposed reforming print media; and even earlier, those times before that, when she had overlooked them, those complex, inscrutable glances he'd given her, shrouded in a sea of emotions...
It turned out that it wasn't just her illusion. It contained such a long gaze and such a deep silent devotion.
She suddenly understood the years of accumulated emotions behind his impulsive confession. She also suddenly understood the loss and helplessness hidden behind his restraint in keeping his distance after she rejected him.
But she pushed him away so resolutely, using the cause that he had once fought for her and that she also loved and fought for as an excuse.
Is work important? Is there a conflict between career and relationships?
At this moment, the reason that she once believed in and used to protect and prove herself suddenly seemed so pale and even... ridiculous in the face of this heavy truth that spanned a long time.
Discovering his dedication, knowing his years of silent protection, didn't make her feel deceived or constrained. On the contrary, an immense, indescribable sadness and emotion washed over her like a surging tide. Her heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by a warm, moist hand, aching and swelling.
It turns out that on her supposedly solitary journey, there had always been a silent gaze accompanying her, an invisible hand quietly supporting her at crucial moments. He understood her dreams, respected her choices, and even, unbeknownst to her, had already laid the first foundation stone for her.
Does work and love really have to be an either-or choice?
The "mentor" she had been looking for had actually already appeared beside her, existing in a more complex and profound way.
Chi Jin clutched the dark blue notebook and slowly leaned against the cold filing cabinet. The city lights outside shone through the cracks in the high basement windows, casting shadows on her face. She could hear her own pounding heartbeat, pounding against her chest, against the icy wall she had built with her own hands, called "workplace rules" and "career first."
The sound of ice breaking can be clearly heard.
She just squatted in front of the storage box in a daze, forgetting the time and the numbness in her legs, until the automatic lock screen light of her phone lit up and dimmed, and she seemed to wake up from a big dream.
Almost without hesitation, she opened her phone, found the familiar name in the address book, and dialed it.
The receiver played a long, drawn-out busy tone, over and over, before it automatically hung up. No one answered.
She stared at the darkened screen, her heart still racing. Perhaps he was busy? Perhaps he hadn't heard? A whirlwind of thoughts flashed through her mind. She took a deep breath, as if grasping something, and pressed the dial button again.
This time, the phone rang only twice. Just when she almost thought it was finally connected, the cold female voice of the system still came from the receiver: "Hello, the number you dialed is currently unavailable..."
All her courage seemed to be drained away in an instant. Chi Jin suddenly hung up the phone, and the screen went completely dark, reflecting her own somewhat distraught face.
She suddenly didn't know what to say even if the call went through. Thank you? Sorry? Or why didn't you tell me earlier? Or... something else?
The emotions were too full and too chaotic, and she needed time to digest them.
She needs to calm down.
Chi Jin supported his numb legs and slowly stood up. He carefully put the dark blue notebook back to its original place, then pushed the storage box back to its original place and turned off the computer and the lights in the data room.
As she walked out of the building, the evening breeze, bringing with it the coolness of early summer, blew across her face, but it couldn't dispel the chaotic thoughts in her mind. She looked back at the scattered lights in the building, but none of them were from his office.
She walked towards the subway station alone, and the neon lights of the city blurred into hazy halos in her eyes.
…
When Chi Jin opened the door, Tao Zi was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, crunching potato chips while watching a variety show. Hearing the noise, she turned to look at her and asked, "Why are you so late again today? Do you want to hear the latest progress between Xiao Duan and me?"
"Um."
Only then did she see Chi Jin's face clearly, and her smile immediately faded. "Chi Jin, what's wrong with you? You look so pale. Are you stupid from working overtime? Or did someone bully you?"
Chi Jin shook his head, took off his shoes, and as if all his strength had been drained away, he threw himself onto the sofa and buried his face in the soft pillow.
"Oh, what's going on?" Taozi immediately paused the variety show and moved to her side.
Chi Jin was silent for a few seconds, then told her everything that had happened tonight. At the end, her nose felt sore, and she buried her face in it again, muttering, "I just found it today in the USB drive and old files left by Chen Yisheng."
"Oh my God!" Taozi slapped her thigh, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. "What kind of secret love of the century is this?! Silently guarding for so many years?! Chi Zi, this is more exciting than any idol drama we've ever watched! Chen Yisheng is so patient!"
"but……"
Taozi shook Chi Jin's shoulders vigorously: "Don't say but! What happened next? What happened after you found out? What did you do? Did you call him? Did you confess your feelings to him?!"
"I called." Chi Jin's voice lowered. "I called twice... but no one answered. The second time, I hung up myself."
"Why did he hang up?" Taozi said, looking very disappointed. "At times like this, you should just keep calling until he answers! Or just rush over to his house and ask for clarification!"
"He's on a business trip, and I don't know what to say..." Chi Jin raised his head, his eyes slightly red, confused and at a loss, "Thank you? Sorry? Or why did you hide it from me? Taozi, I... my mind is in a mess. And I rejected him so firmly not long ago, using the reason that work and feelings should not be mixed. But now, my rejection has become particularly ridiculous."
"Silly sister!" Taozi poked her forehead, her tone firm, "It's not funny at all! Didn't you know before? Rejection is based on your understanding of the situation at the time, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the situation is different now! What does this prove? It proves that he wasn't acting on impulse at all. He liked you and recognized you much earlier and more deeply than you imagined! And he respects you to the point of being a little silly. He'd rather keep it to himself than ask for a favor in return, for fear of putting pressure on you!"
"A lot has happened recently. The speed at which my career has climbed in the past month or two has far exceeded my expectations. But I always feel empty and uneasy, like I'm walking on cotton. In fact, ever since he last did that, things between us have been very... polite, distant, and businesslike. Any contact that might spark speculation has been deliberately avoided."
Taozi slapped her thigh. "Oh my! What's the matter? Chizi, think about it. He's done so much for you, but he didn't say anything. How could he be so willing to do that? You too, do you want to regret it? He guides you in your work and helps you get opportunities. Where's the conflict? Your relationship and work are clearly complementary!"
Taozi's words were like a key, gently opening the last lock in Chi Jin's heart.
Yes, his existence has never been an obstacle to her career, but the most solid step on her road to growth.
Seeing Chi Jin's expression gradually change from confusion to clarity, Taozi knew that she had listened to him, and finally encouraged her: "Don't be afraid, Chi Jin! Be brave! Dress up beautifully tomorrow, go get your award, and then, go grab your love! I support you!"
She took a deep breath and nodded: "Well... Taozi, thank you."
"What are you thanking me for?" Taozi said with a smile as she picked up the potato chips again. "Come on, go take a hot bath and relax, then put on a face mask. We have to wow everyone tomorrow! And by the way, figure out which battle dress to wear!"
Chi Jin still didn't sleep well that night, but unlike the previous confusion and helplessness, this time, he felt a little more warmth and anticipation in his heart.
When the sky was just beginning to brighten, she had already risen. Standing in front of the mirror, she carefully applied her makeup and chose a dress that was both suitable for the occasion and could highlight her temperament.
Looking at herself in the mirror, who seemed the same as before but was obviously different, she let out a sigh.
The award ceremony is about to begin.
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