Chapter 102 No one will ever share the sunshine with me as generously as you do
Lin Xu finally found an outlet to vent the grievances that had been accumulating for many days.
He turned his face away: "You never said she was such a beautiful and capable woman. I am so far behind her. I often wonder how you could fall in love with me..."
"Why do you think so? You're not bad, no matter who you are, Xuxu, you don't know how good you are. I feel happy just looking at you."
"But I'm still a man! I can't marry you, I can't have children with you. If one day... if one day you want these things, I..."
Lin Xu cares about her appearance and figure, just because she wants to be in better shape and keep the warmth of this relationship a little longer.
This kind of feeling of worrying about gains and losses is something that Zhou Yan, a straight man, would never understand.
Zhou Yan pulled him into his arms before he could finish.
"Why are you so stupid? Don't I know that you are a man? Do you think I would do that to other men casually?"
After Zhou Yan's heartache subsided, his tone became gentler: "Xuxu, I'm sorry you're scared. Ultimately, it's because I didn't give you enough sense of security. Do you think marriage and children are important to me? I should have told you earlier that you are the most important to me."
"I can marry anyone and have children, but no one will ever bring me the joy I had with you. You are irreplaceable. My love for you isn't just a momentary impulse. You're like the green plants you planted, taking root and sprouting in my barren and boring life. Without you, I might have completely lost my passion for life."
Zhou Yan pressed Lin Xu against his chest, let him listen to his heartbeat, and told him his love.
"It doesn't matter to me whether you're a man or a woman. What matters is you as a person. I only want you as a person. My life is filled with the exchange of interests and intrigue. I thought I was used to this kind of life. But when I see you every day, your happiness is so simple. I envy you, yearn for you, and want to possess you."
"Are you afraid I'll leave? I'm the one who should be afraid. I can live well even if you leave me. I might be sad for a while, but then let it go and continue living happily. But I can't do that. If you leave, I'll fall into the abyss. There will never be another person like you who breaks into my life and generously shares the sunshine with me."
When Zhou Yan thought of that possibility, he felt cold all over. He tightened his arms around Lin Xu, as if he wanted to melt him into his body.
Lin Xu never thought that he meant this much to Zhou Yan.
He believed that Zhou Yan liked him, but he never understood why Zhou Yan liked him.
Listening to Zhou Yan's monologue, he was shocked now that he knew.
He thought it might be because he was good-looking that Zhou Yan was attracted to him, or that it was because the two of them were together day and night that Zhou Yan developed situational homosexual feelings.
I never thought that I meant so much to Zhou Yan.
He even thought that Zhou Yan liked to stick to him because he was hot-blooded...
It turned out that Zhou Yan was psychologically dependent on him.
Lin Xu couldn't see and couldn't pull his hands away, so he could only tilt his head back, use his lips to explore Zhou Yan's face, and kiss the corner of his lips.
"As long as you don't leave, I won't leave you."
Zhou Yan's eyes became sore after receiving such a promise.
"Silly boy."
Why is he so well-behaved and cute?
The two of them revealed their inner thoughts and put down their burdens. Zhou Yan looked at his lover in his arms who had no power to fight back, and his mind became crooked.
Lin Xu didn't know that Zhou Yan's eyes had become deep and longing, but he clearly heard the sound of Zhou Yan's Adam's apple rolling.
When people can't see, their other senses become extremely sharp.
Lin Xu's face felt hot, and he twisted his body to remind Zhou Yan: "Help me untie it."
Zhou Yan's fingers slid from Lin Xu's cheek to the buttons of his pajamas on his chest.
The voice has become a little hoarse.
"Xu Xu, we've done this so many times, and you're still doubting that I haven't realized you're a boy. It seems I'm not trying hard enough."
Lin Xu was startled by the fanaticism in Zhou Yan's tone and quickly begged for mercy: "No, you tried very hard, I was just talking nonsense. Let me go first, and we can talk it out."
"Shh - don't talk and don't reject me, be good." Zhou Yan touched Lin Xu's hair and gently sealed his lips.
Lin Xu had only one thought: It's over.
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Lin Xu was glad that he chose Saturday to commit suicide, otherwise he would probably have to take a leave.
The sorrow of working people.
Zhou Yan seemed to be exhausted yesterday. It was rare that he didn't get up to make breakfast, but slept with me until the afternoon.
Lin Xu wanted to go to the bathroom, but when he moved, he felt that his waist might be broken.
Zhou Yan woke up as soon as he moved. He immediately withdrew his hand from his waist and hugged him in his arms. His hot chest pressed against Lin Xu's back, and he kissed the back of his neck. He asked in a hoarse voice, "Where are you going?"
Lin Xu shrank back: "Let go first, I'm going to the bathroom."
Zhou Yan took a deep breath and sat up: "Come on, I'll carry you there."
"No, I'll go by myself."
Zhou Yan glanced at him and said, "If I'm not mistaken, you probably can't stand up now."
He went crazy yesterday, and he knew what would happen to Lin Xu today.
Lin Xu slapped his hand away in embarrassment and stood up by putting her feet on the ground.
Lin Xu felt a dull pain and let out a hiss, almost falling back onto the bed. Fortunately, Zhou Yan was prepared and caught him, carrying him in his arms.
"Don't be so stubborn, I'll carry you there."
Lin Xu glared at him: "Who do you blame? Who was the one who went berserk yesterday?"
Zhou Yan took advantage and acted cute: "I admit that my animal instincts were strong, but this is your fault. Who told you to come up with such a good idea to tie me up?"
Lin Xu was really going to die from his own stupidity.
He had no idea that Zhou Yan had such a bad taste. When Lin Xu thought about what happened last night, or to be more precise, early this morning, his face turned red.
Zhou Yan put him on the toilet, folded his arms and looked at him.
Lin Xu was furious: "Get out!!!"
Zhou Yan successfully pissed the guy off before going out with a smile, waiting at the door and then carrying him back.
Lin Xu lay on the bed, scratching the pillow and drawing circles.
Zhou Yan went to the living room and came back with a cake box and a cup of milk tea in his hands.
It turned out that he didn't get up to cook, but ordered takeout while she was asleep.
The cake was chilled in the refrigerator for a while, and it tasted cool and smooth when I put it in my mouth, with a sweet strawberry jam filling.
Zhou Yan sat on the floor beside the bed and fed him spoonful by spoonful.
"What's that? A slap in the face and then a sweet date?" Lin Xu's lips were stained with cream, and no matter how fierce his tone was, it had no killing power.
Zhou Yan wiped the cream off the corner of his lips with his thumb, put it to his own lips and ate it, saying with a smile: "It can be considered as making amends."
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