Xiang Zhilan lowered her eyes and saw the book on the coffee table. It had already reached 33 volumes. When she left, there were only 28 volumes. She couldn't order any later. Did he buy all the series she was following?
Her gaze became complicated. She looked up at Shen Muzhi again, pursed her dry lips, and said in a low, hoarse voice, "Why do you have to do this?"
"Why do you think I'm like this?" Shen Muzhi pulled Xiang Zhilan into his arms, pressed her ear against his chest to listen to his heartbeat, and whispered, "Don't you really understand?"
Xiang Zhilan froze, then shook her head. She didn't understand, and she didn't want to understand.
She feels that her life is good now, happy and fulfilling, and she doesn't want to go back to that feeling in the past.
Two years ago was the most depressing and painful time of her life, and she never wants to go back to it.
"It's no use. Shen Muzhi, you should know best how ruthless I am." Xiang Zhilan is not Ni Sitian. Her rationality always outweighs her emotions. She will choose the most stable life for herself and does not want to take any risks.
"I'm not Feng Jingxian, don't compare me to him." Shen Muzhi knew what she meant and put his arm around her shoulder tightly.
“You might not be as good as him. At least I once truly liked him, but as for you…” Xiang Zhilan shook her head and sighed softly, “Maybe I had a tiny bit of attraction, but it was completely nipped in the bud.”
"No, I will let it sprout again, blossom and bear fruit." Shen Muzhi was unaware that she had also been attracted to him. He thought that he was the only one who liked her, but he had unknowingly nipped that feeling in the bud, and now he regretted it deeply.
“A withered seed will never sprout again, so don’t waste your energy.” Xiang Zhilan got out of his arms and threw the coat she was holding back onto the sofa.
"How will you know if you don't try?" Shen Muzhi gently stroked her cheek with his hand and said earnestly, "I will keep trying to revive it. You don't need to do anything. Just stay there quietly and don't run away."
“If love is all about effort, then I would have agreed to Luo Che long ago.” Xiang Zhilan took his hand away, her expression indifferent. “I don’t want to be someone’s second choice again, nor do I want to compromise myself for the sake of the children.”
“You are not a second-best choice for me; you are a new beginning for me,” Shen Muzhi said sincerely.
"Really?" Xiang Zhilan didn't know how to react. She was a little numb. Just like he had said many times that he would be good to her and her son, he always failed her at the crucial moment. She would probably find it hard to trust him again in this lifetime.
"Please believe me." Shen Muzhi was somewhat saddened by her indifferent reaction.
"We'll see." Xiang Zhilan took a deep breath and said, "I want to go back to my room to rest. Goodnight."
Shen Muzhi didn't want her to leave like this, but he didn't know how to make her have faith in him again. He felt like he had been nailed to the cross by her.
Seeing him standing there blankly with his hands hanging down, looking somewhat lonely and forlorn, Xiang Zhilan stepped past him and walked towards the door.
When her hand touched the doorknob, she paused for two or three seconds, then turned to look at Shen Muzhi and said softly, "Perhaps you can no longer be a good husband in my heart, but please try your best to be a good father to the children."
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