“Because she was particularly fond of Jia Yue, I always felt that she couldn’t forget Gu Huainan. I always thought that I was just wishfully holding on, driven mad by jealousy, but there was nothing I could do.” Xu Haicheng sighed and said in a hoarse voice, “On the day we celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, I misunderstood that the letter she wrote was meant to be burned for Gu Huainan.”
Their tenth anniversary didn't happen. He went to a bar with a woman and they ended up in a hotel room. His mind was a mess that day; he drank a lot and became so drunk he was practically unconscious.
He only remembered waking up to find a strange woman lying next to him, while Jin Rulan sat in a chair, watching him and waiting for him to wake up. He didn't know how long she had been watching him or when she had arrived.
He later learned that he had once been close to her heart, and that the letter, which resembled a love letter, was something she had planned to give him on the night of their tenth anniversary.
He loved her for so many years, but he didn't understand that she was a reserved person who couldn't say some things aloud and expressed herself entirely through her actions.
In fact, ever since he used all his power to suppress the bombing, protecting her and fulfilling her wishes, she seemed to have begun to subtly change her feelings for him.
However, he was so consumed by jealousy that he failed to notice the slightest change in her.
One wrong step at the last minute, and you've been wrong for life.
It was he who pushed him, who had been getting closer and closer, away completely, leaving no room for maneuver.
My heart, which was once open, has now been completely closed again, and I will never open it to him again.
From that time on, they have been sleeping in separate rooms.
He always wanted to atone for his sins and make amends, but she was the proudest person, and she would never deign to accept anything with flaws.
He liked her proud and noble demeanor from the start, and that she would never compromise or submit.
“Actually, she thought about getting a divorce at that time, but I begged her, for your sake, for Jia Yue’s sake.” Xu Haicheng slowly recounted everything. After speaking, he looked up at Xu Tingchuan and said, “It’s easy to take Jia Yue away, but if we get a divorce, it’s impossible for her to take you away. She stayed in the Xu family for your sake.”
After listening, Xu Tingchuan remained silent for a long time, his eyes somewhat unfocused. He had always believed that his mother didn't love him or care about him. After he turned ten, he always treated her with a barbed indifference and distance.
“Tingchuan, actually the person you should hate the most is me. If I hadn’t forced your mother to marry someone else back then, then…” Xu Haicheng put his hand on Xu Tingchuan’s shoulder.
Xu Tingchuan shook his head; in that case, he wouldn't exist at all. Xu Haicheng was indeed wrong, but he was also wrong, and it wasn't fair to blame everything on his father and grandfather.
"I'm going to see Mom." Xu Tingchuan lowered his head and slowly walked towards the hospital building, his back view looking somewhat desolate.
Xu Haicheng's hand, hanging limply, trembled slightly at the fingertips.
Under the dim streetlights, his shoulders slumped, and he looked somewhat hunched over, no longer displaying his former vigor, like a true old man nearing sixty.
Xu Tingchuan walked to the ward and saw Jia Yue sitting in front of Jin Rulan's bed through the small glass in the door.
Jin Rulan is still asleep. She suffered brain damage in the car accident and underwent surgery to remove some blood clots, but there is still one in a particularly dangerous location. Due to her age, the doctor does not recommend taking the risk.
As a result, she became more prone to burnout, and doctors even advised her to retire early and stop engaging in mentally demanding work, as being too tired or concentrating too much could cause problems.
Xu Tingchuan stood quietly outside the door for a long time before the vibration of his phone in his pocket brought him back to his senses.
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