Chapter 91 Reunion (10) I cannot bear the fate of another person...
Seeing his insistence, Li Yunru had no choice but to give up.
The person walked over, sat opposite him, and reached out to probe his chest.
Is this the place?
"And here? How does it hurt? Is it a dense, sharp pain or does it come in waves...?"
"If it hurts a lot, why aren't you sweating on your forehead? Is it because you can't sweat? That's not good."
Yan Ning grabbed her fidgeting hand, hugged her, and said sincerely, "With the princess here, it doesn't hurt anymore."
Li Yunru: "..."
Where did you learn that these past few years? You're acting like a lecherous scoundrel...
“Yan Changjun, I think... you shouldn’t learn these things from others in the future. Hmm... you might not be suitable for it, it sounds a bit weird and disgusting.”
Yan Ning: "..."
He was telling the truth.
She used to say that people were boring and told them to learn and say nice things, even if they were fake, because it would make her happy.
"Is it really that bad?" He lowered his eyelashes, looking extremely disappointed.
Li Yunru felt the person holding her suddenly loosen their shoulders, as if they had lost their strength, and their voice was very low.
Sigh, perhaps she was a little too direct.
"Actually, it's not really. It's just that I'm more used to the way you used to be. You had that kind of beauty that scholars talk about, the kind that can only be admired from afar and not touched."
Undeniably, she really liked his face, and she really liked the air about him that came from his aristocratic family—aloof, refined, and elegant, like a celestial being detached from worldly affairs.
He's doing well now, but he's become a bit too enthusiastic and clingy, lacking a sense of distance and the mystique that comes with his dignified demeanor.
well.
This is probably what happens when you get something and then don't cherish it.
They fell silent again. After a while, he loosened his grip on her a little and said, "Okay, if you don't like it, I won't say it again."
The person took her hand, their calloused knuckles rubbing against her index finger, and asked with concern, "It must have hurt a lot back then."
"No, not at all..."
She subconsciously denied it, but then suddenly remembered that perhaps she didn't need to hide these emotions from Yan Ning, so she said, "Yes, it hurt so much, it hurt so much back then."
Cherishing one's life is an instinct. At that time, he bit her hard and fast, which really hurt. Li Yunru couldn't even tell whether she fainted or fell asleep from exhaustion.
"sorry."
The person put their index finger to their lips, kissed it, and said, "I never imagined the solution would be like this. I'm sorry you had to suffer."
This little bit of hardship is nothing compared to what she has experienced in the past few years, but she is still moved by this seemingly insignificant concern.
"So if you want what's best for me, think of a way to get rid of it completely."
That's what she was about to say.
Li Yunru looked up at him with bright eyes, "Yan Changjun, I am very moved by what you have done. Not to mention you, even my parents and my siblings might not be able to do this. But as moved as I am, I do not want to bear the burden of someone's life. It is too heavy for me. I cannot bear it. You are you and I am me. We all have our own paths to walk and our own destinies. We should not be forcibly tied together by something."
Yan Ning remained silent.
He clearly promised not to say those things again, but when it comes to this issue, he can't help but break his promise.
After a long while, he asked, still unwilling to give up, "Isn't this what the princess wanted?"
She once said that she wanted him to die with her, so that they could go to the underworld together and be a loving couple.
He thought...she would like it.
Li Yunru was taken aback at first, then remembered some impulsive words she had said in the past, and said, "That was just a joke, don't take it seriously, forget about it."
She had indeed thought about it before.
Even in the worst-case scenario, she envisioned the worst possible outcome: if Cui Shi didn't help her and she and her entire family were implicated and sentenced to death, she would definitely take him with her.
We'll all die together!
At that time, she thought that what was hers would still be hers even if she died!
But people... always change, and their thoughts change too.
Yan Ning didn't want her to gloss over what he had said so lightly; this made him feel even more disappointed than her past hysteria.
She doesn't care about herself.
Only someone who doesn't care would say something like that so easily.
Is this not to be taken seriously?
If promises made at the time cannot be taken seriously, then when can they be taken seriously?
Although he never thought she would be moved by this and come back to his side, he did all this just to make sure she was safe. Even if she wasn't by his side, as long as the Life-Sharing Gu existed, he would know whether she was in danger, whether she was suffering pain he didn't know about, and... whether she was alive.
Three years.
Three years of waiting and searching without any hope was far too long.
If they hadn't met again, he might have been able to accept waiting in vain. But fate brought them together again, and he couldn't bear it. He desperately wanted to be sure of one thing... that she was alive, that she had always been alive, nothing more.
“I took Liyang seriously.”
“I remember every word you said, and I took it all seriously.”
"Actually, I never thought you would come back to me because of this, and I didn't intend to keep you. If you like Du San's side, you can go with her without any psychological pressure. I live next door to you. I planted the life-sharing Gu on you just to see you and make sure you're alive. Everything else is fine. You don't need to worry about anything else. You can do whatever you want without worry."
"You know that's impossible!"
Li Yunru's eyes reddened.
Oh.
It's easy to say something like that, but can she really just ignore it all? If people are like this, what kind of person would she be if she didn't care?
This is not something that can be resolved with just a few words!
If it were as simple as a sentence, she could say, "Yes, I'm very touched by everything you've done for me, but you can't give me what I truly want. I'm sorry."
Then, without any resentment, she would leave gracefully as if nothing had happened. If anything were to happen to him in the future, she could be indifferent, at most lamenting, "I had a husband who loved me very much. He was willing to entrust his life to me, but unfortunately, he was unlucky and died young."
So she continued living her life, and then met a kindred spirit, and they fell deeply in love...
“You’re a smart man; you know perfectly well that this has tied me up.”
Yan Ning lowered her head.
yes!
He knew.
This isn't something that can be resolved by simply saying you don't need to worry about it, so from the beginning, he never intended for her to know. He thought he would keep it a secret for a very, very long time... ten years, twenty years, thirty years... in short, a very long time.
Who would have thought that she would find out in just half a month?
It was his sister who said it.
But he couldn't blame anyone. It was his own lack of thoroughness that had put him in this predicament, leading to the current situation between the two of them. It had nothing to do with Yan Sheng.
"Yan Changjun".
Li Yunru reached out with both hands, lifted his face, and forced him to look directly into her eyes.
"I really can't take it, you know?"
"Whenever I close my eyes, I think that my life doesn't belong to myself, but is tied to another person. It feels like something is pressing on my heart. It's so tiring, it makes me feel like I can't breathe. I don't even dare to die."
Yan Ning burst out laughing when she heard her say that.
"why are you laughing?"
Li Yunru was furious at his unserious behavior, and her face immediately turned cold. Yan Ning, being sensible, immediately fell silent and explained, "If the princess dares not die, then my goal has been achieved, hasn't it?"
He looked at her and said sincerely, "Liyang, I only ask that you live, really, I only ask that you live."
"Oh!"
Li Yunru was so angry she laughed.
The two couldn't reach an agreement on this issue, so they had to put it aside for the time being and go down the mountain.
Before leaving, Yan Ning promised that he would send someone to welcome these people from the mountain stronghold soon and arrange for them to join the army.
It is true that he was robbed by bandits, but they were acting on orders and did not want to do it themselves. After all, Yan Ning looked extremely poor and there was nothing of value to be robbed. Secondly, he was an official, but without any powerful backers, who would dare to touch him?
So the man was arrested, but no one knows what he did during those days to actually persuade these people.
Wang Wu was deeply impressed by this.
Yan Ning said, "Becoming bandits and occupying a territory is not what they actually want. It's just that these past few years have been turbulent, and people have no other way to survive, so they have no choice but to do this. Many of them are refugees from the south."
Their homes were destroyed, leaving them no choice but to head north. However, no local official was willing to take them in. They had no land, no identity documents, and no travel permits. With nothing to their name, it was difficult to find a way to support themselves. Along the way, many of the old, weak, sick, and disabled died. Finally, out of desperation, they decided to take advantage of this place and become bandits, ruling the mountains together.
Yang Yan had tried to suppress the bandits twice before, but his men were all well-fed and bloated and were completely useless. They were not only incapable of suppressing bandits, but they could also do nothing at all. Even if they did nothing but climb up the mountain, it would take them almost a day, which delayed everything.
Later, they simply gave up, and the two sides reached a strange balance and temporarily "stood still." This time, they received news that a very rich person would pass through Anzhou at a certain time, and that if they kidnapped him, they would have no worries about food and clothing. However, when they were caught, it turned out to be a poor wretch whose clothes were faded from washing and who was even worse off than them.
The two sides engaged in a tug-of-war that lasted for several days. Eventually, the other side was persuaded, and Yan Ning was able to leave and descend the mountain as she wished. However, she was unexpectedly poisoned midway down the mountain and had to be brought back.
Because they were taken to the mountain, Wang Wulang's men searched the surrounding area for several days without any results. However, they found a woman's belongings, which confirmed that the woman was in the area and that the merchant's wife Yan Ning had been frequently in contact with recently was Li Yunru. Only then did they manage to stop them.
He had many thoughts, but in this matter, he did not harbor any ulterior motives.
“In recent years, disasters have struck one after another, with floods in the south and droughts in the north, resulting in many more people suffering such misfortune.”
She traveled to many places with the caravan and saw many people who could not survive due to disasters or human actions.
They all started out with hope, thinking that the local officials would take charge and find a way to shelter them, to give them a place to live. However, nothing came of it. They were ignored like these piles of gravel and dirt, no one cared about them, and they were tossed around like burdens...
Why not do nothing?
As officials appointed by the imperial court, this was their duty!
Li Yunru was once so angry that she confronted the authorities in the street. As a result, she was severely beaten. However, Du Sanniang was kind and generous and gave away her wealth to rescue her.
At that time, she knew that without her status as a superior, her words were as insignificant as spittle, only causing trouble for herself and her friends.
Hearing what she and Yan Ning said, Lu Wulang and the others in the carriage all lowered their heads and fell silent.
This is the drawback of centralized power held by aristocratic families. However, most of them are supported by these families and have no right to comment or say anything.
After all, speaking out means needing to resolve issues and relinquish one's existing interests.
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