Chapter 32: The youth is ripening and the youth is frivolous.
Zhou Suiye was silent for a long time.
He had not originally imagined that this birthday would exist, but he did not expect that those who would be present and those who would not be present would all gather together in the end.
Wen Xin bent down to look at his expression: "You are not so moved that you cry."
"Nonsense," he retorted as usual, but his voice lowered. "Let's cut the cake."
It was already getting late, so Zhou Suiye spent a hasty birthday listening to their songs. The flickering candlelight swayed on his face, and he made a greedy wish.
As soon as he blew out the candles, he was smeared with cake all over his face. His hypocritical mood immediately dissipated, and Zhou Suiye was so angry that he chased Wen Xin and didn't feel satisfied until he fought back.
Originally, Bo Xia was just standing there watching the show, but she didn't expect that the fire at the city gate would affect everyone else. The cold cream was unexpectedly smeared on her cheeks. With her somewhat confused expression, she looked a bit like a cat with a painted face.
She subconsciously glanced at Jin Yunyan, worried about losing her composure in his presence, but all she could see was his gentle, kind gaze. A subtle feeling welled up in Bo Xia's heart, a desire to be special in his heart, yet also a fascination with his gentle, unwavering regard for all.
While she was lost in thought, the other side of Bo Xia's face was also smeared. In the end, she and Jin Yunyan had to join in this cream war, and no one present was spared.
Luckily the cream didn't get on my hair, so it wasn't difficult to deal with.
Bo Xia, with cream still smeared on her face, quietly took a photo of Jin Yunyan. Someone behind her added another line to her face. She said sourly, "It's a nice photo."
She put away her phone in a panic: "Just take some photos."
Seeing that the curfew was about to expire, Bo Xia stood up and prepared to go home. Zhou Suiye looked at Jin Yunyan and said, "Ayan, please send me off."
Her heart was beating nervously, like a reckless rabbit banging around in her chest. The words of refusal were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't say them in the end, especially when Jin Yunyan stood up and said "OK".
She followed him at a distance, walking forward in his shadow.
In the silent night, all sounds seem to be amplified and fall particularly clear in the ears.
After walking for a while, the person in front suddenly stopped. Bo Xia thought he had something to do, so when he walked up to him, he found that he was waiting for him.
She opened her lips and suddenly wanted to say something: "That..."
"Um?"
It seemed that in the end, she still didn't have the courage, so she changed the subject and asked him if he knew what happened to Zhou Suiye. He looked a little abnormal today, and Jin Yunyan was not aware of this.
He asked her if she cared about Zhou Suiye. Bo Xia looked up and saw the halo of the street lamp above his head. She felt dizzy. "Because he is my friend..."
Recalling something, Bo Xia added, "You are all my friends."
Unfortunately, he didn't understand the hidden meaning behind her words and just chuckled. At that time, in Jin Yunyan's eyes, there was some special connection between her and Zhou Suiye, at least Zhou Suiye had some feelings for her.
His world is too complicated and he is too precocious, so he always looks at them from an adult's perspective, with tolerance in his eyes.
When he lowered his eyes, he unexpectedly met the girl's eyes. He didn't know if it was because the night was too dim, but he read indescribable emotions in those clear and bright eyes, even mixed with a bit of unspeakable pity.
For a moment, Jin Yunyan inexplicably wanted to understand those eyes. His eyelashes trembled slightly, but before he could move, he was interrupted by a passing car honking its horn.
I don’t know when it started raining.
At first it was just a vague cool touch, then the rustling sound in my ears suddenly became louder, and cold raindrops fell down in strings.
They were some distance away from the bus stop and they didn't have an umbrella, so they found a nearby roof to shelter from the rain.
The damp rain curtain blurred everything around them. Bo Xia lowered her eyes and saw a small dry patch under their feet, as if they were trapped in a small world.
She secretly hoped that the rain would last longer and longer.
Perhaps God heard her prayers, and the rain lasted for a very long time, so long that the dry area became smaller and smaller, and the distance between them became closer and closer. The beat of her heart was in sync with the sound of the rain. If it continued, she would be exposed.
Jin Yunyan was about to buy an umbrella or hail a taxi, but just then the rain started to subside, so he called a taxi for her: "Let's go."
I don’t know if it was because of the change of seasons, but the next day Bo Xia started sneezing when he woke up. But when he thought about it, he still missed that rain, missed the white corners of his clothes that were raised when he stood beside him, and missed the slender hand that pressed on the chair when he got in the car.
The song "Sunny Day" by Jay Chou was playing in the headphones, and there was a line in the lyrics:
“The rainy day that disappeared, I really want to get wet again.”[1]
Bo Xia was not the only one who had a cold. Zhou Suiye in the group was also in poor condition. Everyone advised him to rest, but he chose to go to school despite his "disability". He was sent to the infirmary because of a fever that morning.
Several people went to see him during lunch break. Wen Xin even bought some things for him. Zhou Suiye frowned and asked weakly, "What are these?"
"It's to supplement your nutrition." Wen Xin said.
He looked at the colorful junk food and raised his voice slightly: "What did you say, to supplement my nutrition?"
Don't come here to murder him.
"Of course," Wen Xin showed him. "Tomato-flavored potato chips, grape-flavored juice, and there are cucumbers and strawberries. Healthy, very healthy."
“…”
Bo Xia and Jin Yunyan couldn't help laughing.
As they were talking, they saw Zhou Suiye's mother walk in anxiously. The two of them usually had a good relationship, but Zhou Suiye seemed a little unhappy: "What are you doing here?"
Realizing that the atmosphere was not right, they looked at each other and chose to leave at the same time.
Bo Xia felt that Zhou Suiye might have something on his mind. She had previously thought that friends shouldn't pry into each other's privacy too much, so she didn't ask when he didn't say anything.
But in the next few days, seeing that Zhou Suiye was a little depressed, when they came back from handling class affairs together, Bo Xia asked him if he had anything on his mind: "You don't have to tell me, but I'm worried about you. As a friend, I want to take some responsibility for you."
"Nothing," he said casually. "I just found out my parents are divorced a couple of days ago, so I'm a little angry."
What are you angry about?
Maybe he was angry that they chose to be self-satisfied, putting his grades first and not telling him; angry that they didn't discuss such an important matter with him and kept it hidden; angry that he was inexplicably thrown away by them like a piece of garbage.
But he couldn't express these words. Many emotions that seemed hypocritical and fragile to outsiders might not be fully expressed even late at night, let alone now?
He didn't want others to think he was such a pitiful and unfortunate person, especially in front of his important friends.
But Bo Xia didn't feel that way. She was a little surprised, and then her eyes were mixed with a bit of pity. He asked her not to feel sorry for him, but she said she didn't.
But as a friend, I will definitely feel heartbroken.
Because the love in friendship always makes people empathize with him and share his pain and happiness.
Bo Xia probably knew what Zhou Suiye was thinking, but she didn't really sympathize with the impact of divorce on a child. Her parents' quarrels had made her feel very unfortunate, and she always hoped they would separate. But she could understand the feeling of being abandoned.
She looked at Zhou Suiye: "Maybe they divorced just because they didn't love each other anymore, but they both still loved you very much, so they didn't tell you the truth."
Bo Xia felt a little emotional, but nothing profound came to mind: "Although my parents haven't divorced, they've been arguing since I was a child. I've always hoped they could separate. Maybe sometimes separation is better than being forced together. It means they are pursuing their own happiness, even if this choice isn't fair to us..."
She seemed to be able to read his mind and told him that she knew he couldn't accept it right away, but seeing how much his mother loved him, she thought she must not be hiding it on purpose: "So you have to allow yourself to be sad. Don't be afraid, we friends are all your support."
Bo Xia's comfort was a little clumsy. It was obvious that she seldom said these words. She clearly wanted to avoid him with her eyes, but in the end she still looked at him with gentleness and determination.
If possible, she also wanted to hug him.
Zhou Suiye's eyes were slightly red, and he pretended to be relaxed: "You are so thin and you still want to be my backup. You need to eat more."
Bo Xia said seriously: "I have been drinking milk recently..."
He lowered his eyes, and the corners of his lips curled up quietly...
On the way back, a pleasant voice rang out over the campus radio: "Neruda once said, 'All youth is like a lamp, knocked down by the rain, wet but burning.'[2] The reason why youth is so dazzling is that young people are not afraid of mountains and mountains, and they will continue to move forward even in the face of heavy rain..."
She looked at his back and thought, perhaps everyone has their own troubles and pains in growing up. Wen Xin is a flower in a greenhouse who wants to grow up, Zhou Suiye suddenly discovered that there was a crack in his happy family, and even Jin Yunyan has a secret that is unknown to others.
The scars of growing up have matured them to a greater or lesser extent, but they don’t know whether the matured selves are truly mature inside.
But even so, those subtle pains and confusions never stopped any of them from moving forward.
They have nothing to fear, simply because they are young and frivolous.
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