Chapter 37 Distance You are not like anyone else.
For a long time, Bo Xia did not seem to be affected by this incident. There were no tears, no endless pain, and even she herself felt that she did not seem to like Jin Yunyan that much.
But occasionally, an unexpected sour taste would spread over her, as if she had bitten a green plum. She covered her inflamed teeth in embarrassment, feeling the ubiquitous hot flashes that could not be taken away by autumn.
There were also moments when she felt unwilling to accept the fact, when she wanted to muster up the courage to ask him what was wrong with him, and what did those things that day mean?
But there are some questions that don't need to be asked, the answers have already been written in secret.
Bo Xia even thought that perhaps for someone like Jin Yunyan, this brief delusion and warmth given was already a gift to some extent.
No matter how sad she was, she could not feel any resentment or disgust towards him, because love is a personal thing.
Raindrops pounded the windowpanes, attempting to wash away the lingering dryness in the air. Bo Xia sat down, flipping through a textbook in her desk drawer. As her hand moved, a pink love letter fell to the floor.
She picked it up, somewhat startled, and opened it to find an anonymous confession. The general content of the letter was to express his admiration for her. Even though her presence wasn't that strong, in his eyes, she was still the most shining one.
The entire page of the letter was filled with her strengths, and the last sentence was:
"You're not like anyone else."
It was a Neruda poem, and the last half of the line, "Because I love you," was etched in the unspoken feelings of innocent young men. At their age, even expressing affection was difficult, let alone something as sacred as love.
It seemed as if saying such words would be a blasphemy to that feeling.
Bo Xia read the love letter again and again, somewhat taken aback by the earnestness of the contents. It even looked like it was written by someone who really liked her. The other person was telling her that there was no need to compare herself with anyone else; she was unique in this world.
She inexplicably felt that the source of this love letter was someone she knew.
Bo Xia stood up and looked through Zhou Suiye's homework book. After comparing the handwriting, it was obvious that they were two different people. Not to mention Wen Xin, she was very familiar with her friend's language habits and handwriting.
Her movements were just caught by everyone who was doing their homework. Zhou Suiye just happened to come in with some ice cream and threw one to her and Wen Xin. "What are you doing? Are you here to check your answers with me? This shouldn't be the case. Isn't our Bo Shen someone who can score over 140 in Chinese?"
This flattering tone made people feel nameless anger. Bo Xia looked at him helplessly, chose to pretend not to know this person, and sat back in his seat as if nothing had happened.
Zhou Suiye looked at Bo Xia for a few seconds, hesitant to speak, then couldn't help but lean over and ask, "Hey, did you receive anything today?"
Looking at the puppy wagging its tail in front of him, Bo Xia couldn't help laughing, then lowered his head and composed himself: "What are you pointing at?"
"That's...that's..." He thought about it and decided to give up.
It was rare for Wen Xin to go to the cafeteria to eat with her at noon. When the three of them were returning to the classroom together, Zhou Suiye suddenly said, "Actually, I don't think Jin Yunyan is that good."
The remaining two girls looked at him with some confusion, and then listened to Zhou Suiye say all the bad things about Jin Yunyan, such as his frigidity and suspected dislike for girls, and his pretentiousness. He pretended to be a decent person even though he did everything in private...
This smooth and flowing process of backstabbing a friend left them stunned. Wen Xin kicked him: "Are you trying to kick him out so you can get a higher position?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The intention is obvious."
Bo Xia watched them quarrel and was about to say something when she heard a gentle female voice from the radio station suddenly mention her name: "This song is dedicated to Bo Xia from Class 11. I hope she will always be happy."
A familiar melody rang out on campus——
"Even if fate is full of twists and turns,
Even if fate is displaced,
Even if fate threatens you,
Life is boring,
Don't shed tears and feel sad,
Should not give up,
I wish I could stay with you forever.”[1]
She felt embarrassed and funny for a moment, but the moment the corners of her lips curled up, her eyes became moist again. She originally wanted to know whether the love letter was written by Zhou Suiye, but now it seemed that there was no need to ask anything.
The facts were obvious. Her friends all cared about her. They made her realize that after losing something, she still had something more precious.
Bo Xia suddenly walked over and put her arms around their necks, one on each side. Because Zhou Suiye was so tall, it was a little difficult for her to hold him. "Don't worry about me. Liking someone should be a pure thing, just like liking cats and dogs, singers, or paintings. The outcome isn't important. What's important is that I'm happy every moment I like him."
Zhou Suiye knew that she was being a little stubborn, but he felt less worried after hearing her say that.
After that day, he asked Jin Yunyan. He thought that the other party was willing to protect Bo Xia and at least had some fluctuations in his heart. However, Jin Yunyan didn't know why she liked him.
After all, in Jin Yunyan's mind, Bo Xia was the girl his friend liked. So he was also surprised at the time, and it took him a long time to react before he came to her rescue.
Zhou Suiye, somewhat paranoid, asked him to try to get to know Bo Xia, saying he would definitely like her after that. He remained as cold-hearted as ever, saying he wouldn't fall in love with anyone right now, let alone anything. Perhaps assuming Zhou Suiye had feelings for Bo Xia, he even consoled his friend by saying that no one would always remember someone they loved at eighteen.
They were too young at that time, so their feelings could not be counted.
A favored child who grew up surrounded by idols is naturally accustomed to being liked by others. He receives too many signals and subconsciously feels that this feeling is too precious, precious enough to last for many years.
Maybe one day when they meet someone better, someone who understands them better and is more suitable, they will find that he is just a carrier of youth and a projection of girlish feelings, but that's all.
Zhou Suiye didn't tell her this, but just agreed that Jin Yunyan was a dog. Wen Xin chuckled and said, "I think you look more like a dog."
Bo Xia knew that he was protecting her. She would sometimes feel late at night that she was not favored by fate, but it turned out that she just didn't see what she had.
She called Zhou Suiye's name, and he asked her what was wrong. They looked at each other, and this scene was originally ready for some emotional excitement.
The girl suddenly said, "I also think you look more like a dog."
The warmth on his neck dissipated, and Zhou Suiye looked up to see the usually quiet girl running a long distance. When she turned back, the wind messed up her hair, and she stood there smiling at him gently.
Life in the third year of high school is always painful and numb. Sometimes it makes people feel that time is very long, and sometimes it makes people feel that someone has quietly fast-forwarded the clock, and in a blink of an eye, the countdown in the classroom has changed half of the numbers.
At the end of the semester, Bo Xia stood in front of the honor roll. In the past, Jin Yunyan always took the first place in a single subject, but now she occupied two places.
She saw their pictures together, and that alone made her heart warm.
The dormant feelings showed signs of awakening at some point. She thought unwillingly that maybe they would go to the same university in the future, or there would be some kind of future between them.
The head teacher handed out a mock application form and asked them to write down their target colleges and majors. Compared to the hesitation and confusion of others, she picked up the pen with a firm gaze and wrote "Peking University" and "Department of Architecture".
Fu Qiangmin called Bo Xia over. He knew what she was thinking and encouraged her that as long as she studied hard, she would definitely be able to get into her ideal university. "You can also try independent enrollment. You know, a senior from your class got into South China University of Technology through independent enrollment..."
She said yes, but she was only determined on that one goal.
Everyone has moments of youth and recklessness, and at this moment, she can only see her own future.
She wanted to go to Beijing to study architecture, there was no other possibility.
After returning from the homeroom teacher's office, the classroom atmosphere was as gloomy as ever, with everyone's desk piled high with textbooks. By this stage, even the most playful students had already thrown themselves into the arms of study.
When she returned to her seat, she passed by Wen Xin's seat and saw Wen Xin playing with Zhou Suiye.
Zhou Suiye said, "Go ahead and tell me what you want to say." Wen Xin kicked him and said, "You are the first person to know about this matter." Neither of them knew what secret, and no one was willing to speak up.
Zhou Suiye was especially embarrassed. He was usually a straightforward person and had nothing he couldn't say. Besides, this matter was not a big deal. He didn't know why it was difficult for him to tell Bo Xia such cruel news.
The two were arguing and pulling each other when a small head suddenly popped up in the middle. Bo Xia glanced at them and asked, "What do you want to say?"
They immediately turned around and said it was nothing.
After asking several times, Bo Xia still couldn't get any answer.
Because of the heavy pressure from studying, she didn't take this matter to heart. What's more, things that her friends didn't want to talk about were private, and she always had to respect them.
The snow came late that winter and the weather was hotter than usual.
When Bo Xia went out as usual, she met Jin Yunyan again as before. She subconsciously slowed down her pace and followed him, fearing that he would discover her.
He carried a schoolbag on one shoulder and put his other hand in his pocket, standing out among the group of bloated figures.
She discovered that giving up on someone was so difficult.
Some people don't even have to do anything, they just need to stand there to declare a victorious outcome.
Although Bo Xia was so contradictory, she still created some expectations for herself.
Before returning to class, she deliberately waited at the corner for a long time to avoid going in with Jin Yunyan. She stood there a little strangely, and Meng Roujin patted her shoulder and asked her what she was doing there.
She made an excuse that the air outside was better, so she wanted to stay a little longer.
Seeing that she was still holding the vocabulary book in her hand, Meng Roujin did not suspect anything.
The two chatted quietly as they entered. Although Meng Roujin was obsessed with studying, she also kept an eye on class gossip. She whispered, "I heard that Jin Yunyan is planning to study abroad. You think he'll get into top universities with his grades?"
Bo Xia gradually couldn't hear what Meng Roujin was saying, and she subconsciously looked at Jin Yunyan.
Study abroad...
She thought that the distance between them was just the distance on their transcripts, and that they were admitted to different colleges after the college entrance examination. She still had the extravagant hope that she could catch up with him through hard work.
But it turns out that they were not on the same track a long time ago.
He could only be the moon hanging high in the sky, untouchable. Even though the gentle moonlight had once fallen on her, that was all.
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