What is Love (I)
Mingri hasn't played the flute for a long time. Recently, he has been busy practicing sword and discussing state affairs with Choudoufu. Even his time for rest has become less and less, and his time alone is even less.
Tonight he played not his usual tune, but the song "Dream" that Leng Yue had sung: "Knowing that the world is like a dream, I have nothing to ask for. Asking for nothing, my heart is empty and quiet. It is like following the dream within a dream, achieving merits as numerous as the sands of the river."
From the first meeting, to testing, understanding, to knowing each other, and then embracing each other, the journey has been like a dream, so bizarre, yet so subtle, it's hard to describe.
In order to save Miss Shangguan, she disguised herself as the goddess dragon and made a blood alliance with the Phoenix Blood Sword; because she saved him and Shangguan Yan, she insisted on running outside the palace to commit suicide; because an unexpected situation occurred while helping them to win over the righteous men in the martial arts world, she now risked her life to return to Bantianyue.
She was so chivalrous, unwavering, and unrequited. Every time, she rushed towards death without hesitation, as if this petite body was truly not afraid of death, as if she was truly an omnipotent fairy.
"The second thing is the indestructible body of the Golden Buddha."
Leng Yue probably wasn't lying. She knew everything about everyone, and she must have known the secret of the Golden Buddha's indestructible body. However, no matter what method was used to crack it, it was too dangerous for her.
"And the third thing: Thank you for healing me, but please don't be so self-indulgent!"
"I respect you, so I never lie to you."
Ouyang Mingri stopped playing the flute and frowned slightly.
Yes, from beginning to end, she had never done anything solely for him. Everything she did was in accordance with the code of conduct and for the greater good. She had always called him "Young Master," except in prison, when she called him "Tomorrow." Was she in love with him, or was she in respect for him?
Did he like her? Did he love her? Was he grateful? Or was he simply admiring her intelligence, courage, and sense of justice?
He remembered that day when they made the Blood Alliance, Leng Yue had asked, "What is love? People say that swords have love, but they only think it's the love of love. So, what kind of love is there between a sword and its master?"
The bond between a sword and its master is one of righteousness, not love. Therefore, the word "love" doesn't just refer to the love between men and women. It also doesn't refer to the love between people.
Gratitude, admiration, friendship, and brotherhood, every word is full of emotion, yet every word is different.
"Sai Hua Tuo," a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.
Mingri stood up, tucked the jade flute behind him and bowed: "Miss Shangguan."
"You have been like this since Leng Yue left. Everyone is very worried about you." Shangguan Yan said.
Mingri chuckled and said, "I'm fine."
"What did Leng Yue say to you that day?" Shangguan Yan asked.
Mingri thought for a moment and said, "May I ask you a question - what is love?"
"Why do you ask this suddenly?" Shangguan Yan was puzzled.
"To be honest, I can't explain it clearly myself," Mingri said. "When I first learned that Leng Yue was brought back to the Shenyue Sect, I did think I had feelings for her. But thinking back, it seems I was just worried about her safety. Everything she did might have been just for the sake of righteousness and the greater good. Come to think of it, there doesn't seem to be any special connection between me and Leng Yue."
"What about now?" Shangguan Yan asked.
"I don't know." Mingri shook his head and then changed the subject, "Perhaps, the position of the girl in Mingri's heart is not so easy to shake."
Shangguan Yan blushed and lowered her head after hearing this. After a long pause, she managed to utter, "Leng Yue is a good girl."
"She is indeed a good girl, and a chivalrous one at that. But so what? Perhaps this is all just my illusion." Mingri sighed, "She has done so much for us, and sacrificed so much. Now I can't figure out whether I should feel gratitude for her, admiration for her, or something else entirely."
"Leng Yue is very good to you, don't you think?" Shangguan Yan said.
"I'm also very nice to girls, am I not?" Mingri said.
Shangguan Yan didn't know what to say for a moment.
Sima Changfeng happened to overhear these words. For days, Sai Huatuo had been silent, leaving everyone worried. As a friend, Changfeng had long wanted to comfort him, but he didn't know how. Finally mustering the courage to drink and chat with him, he overheard this conversation. He lowered his eyes sadly, sighed, and walked away alone, holding the wine jar.
"But there is no love between us," Shangguan Yan said.
"That's right," Mingri said, "So, now I'm a little confused about whether there is any love between her and me."
"There are many things that you can't figure out with your brain. You have to ask your heart," said Shangguan Yan.
“How do I ask my conscience?”
"Empty your mind, leaving only your heart, ask it, and wait for the answer to emerge." Shangguan Yan said, "Sometimes, loving someone is not because of how good they are to you, but because you can't help but hold them, think of them, and willingly give everything for them. Even if they are not the best person for you, and even sometimes make you feel very painful, you just can't convince yourself to let go. Love is not about seeking benefits and avoiding harm, and it is not about being with whoever is good to you. It is about having no regrets and being loyal to each other until death."
"Listening to your words is worth ten years of reading." Mingri bowed and said, "Thank you for your guidance, young lady."
"Sai Huatuo, don't think too much for now. Aunt Huadie and everyone else are very worried about you. You need to adjust yourself as soon as possible and don't let others worry about you." Shangguan Yan said, "I have to go with Changfeng to protect the city lord. Bye."
Mingri smiled and nodded.
As soon as Shangguan Yan left the villa, she encountered stinky tofu.
"City Lord, why are you here?" Shangguan Yan asked.
"I came to see big brother," said Chou Doufu, "Brother Sima just left."
Shangguan Yan was shocked. Changfeng didn't go in but left sadly. She thought he must have heard something that made him uncomfortable. She was worried that Changfeng would get stuck in a rut.
"Shangguan Yan, I think Brother Sima seems to be in a bad mood. You should go and keep him company." Chou Doufu said sympathetically.
"Thank you, City Lord." Shangguan Yan bowed and left in a hurry.
Sima Changfeng was drinking alone in the empty corridor. Below the corridor was a pond. Scattered lotus flowers dotted the shimmering water surface. The bright moonlight reflected in the water was charming.
On such a peaceful and beautiful night, his heart was restless. He and Yan'er were married and they loved each other very much, but Sai Hua Tuo loved Yan'er so much and had given so much for her. Did Yan'er ever feel any regret?
He was a rough man, not as gentle as Sai Hua Tuo, nor as attentive to her as Sai Hua Tuo. If Yan'er had married Sai Hua Tuo instead of him, would she have been happier?
"Why did you leave secretly?" Yan'er asked.
Changfeng was not surprised at her sudden appearance. He did not answer and just continued drinking.
"You know my heart," Yan'er said.
"I know," Changfeng said, "but I'm not as kind to you as Hua Tuo."
"But I chose you." Yan'er said.
"Do you regret it?" Changfeng said.
"Changfeng, do you want to piss me off to death?" Yan'er turned around angrily and ignored him.
"Haha, maybe I'm drunk." Changfeng said with a wry smile.
"Then wake up!" Yan'er said, and left angrily.
"Yan'er..." Changfeng's voice was very soft, as if he didn't even have the courage to call her.
Yan'er was feeling heavy-hearted, not knowing where to go. As she walked, she unknowingly arrived at Bodhi Garden.
Now that I'm here, I might as well go see Aunt Butterfly and my mother, Yan'er thought.
Madam Yuzhu, Ding Xuelian, and Little Bean Sprout were enjoying the cool breeze in the courtyard. Little Bean Sprout was the first to see Yan'er: "Sister Yan! Little Bean Sprout misses Sister Yan so much! Hey, where's the Ghost Seer?"
"Little Bean Sprout," Yan'er stroked the little Bean Sprout's round head and greeted Yuzhu and her mother, "Auntie Butterfly, Mother."
"Yan'er, why didn't Changfeng come with you? Did you have a fight?" Ding Xuelian asked.
"No one knows a daughter better than her mother," Yan'er thought. But she was sensible and stubborn, so she didn't give a direct answer. She just said, "Changfeng is protecting the city lord. Sai Hua Tuo asked me to tell you, don't worry about him."
Xiao Douya pouted and said, "It must be Guijianchou who bullied you, otherwise you wouldn't be like this! Humph, this Guijianchou is the worst, always bullying Sister Yan!"
Yan'er forced a smile and said, "No, he didn't bully Sister Yan."
Madam Yuzhu pinched Xiaodouya's chubby little face and said with a smile, "Xiaodouya, Sister Yan has something to say to Grandma Shangguan. Let's go inside and Grandma Yuzhu will fold a boat for you, okay?"
"Okay!" Xiao Douya said, tugging at the corner of Yan'er's clothes reluctantly: "Sister Yan, don't be unhappy."
Yan'er smiled gently at Xiao Douya and nodded.
"Yan'er, what happened between you and Changfeng?" Ding Xuelian asked with concern.
Yan'er told the truth, feeling very aggrieved.
"How could he think of me like this? Oh." Yan'er sighed.
"Changfeng cares about you too much, Yan'er. Go back and have a good talk with him. Everything will be fine." Ding Xuelian said.
"Mom, I don't want to talk to him." Yan'er said in a low voice, "I won't go back tonight. Yan'er will stay here with you."
Ding Xuelian sighed: "Well, that's good. You all should calm down, so as not to say anything that will make you sad and regretful in the heat of the moment."
Suddenly, there was a "thump" sound not far away, and both of them were startled. Yan'er walked over and saw that it was Changfeng who was drunk and lying on the ground not far away, calling out vaguely: "Yan'er, don't leave me."
Yan'er frowned and turned away.
"Yan'er? What happened? Who is there?" Ding Xuelian asked.
Yan'er sighed: "It's Changfeng."
Ding Xuelian said softly, "Yan'er, Changfeng is so worried about you, you should go back and come visit mother with Changfeng another day."
Yan'er nodded and said, "Okay, Mom, go to bed early. Yan'er will leave first." Then she helped Changfeng go back.
Changfeng kept biting his tongue and saying sorry Yan'er, it's all my fault, please don't leave me, etc. Yan'er said nothing, just sighed.
Yan'er put the drunk Changfeng to bed and stood quietly by his bedside.
"No matter how good I am, my heart already belongs to you. Don't you really understand?"
Outside the window, the wind was blowing, as if the weather was going to change.
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