Fu Xuanliao, on the other hand, could only instinctively comply.
Later, it became less a kiss and more a brutal, unrestrained outburst than a passionate, all-out entanglement.
Shi Meng used both his lips and teeth, each thrust full of force, as if he wanted to devour Fu Xuanliao alive, to eat his flesh and drink his blood.
The latter not only endured it, but also bent down and turned his head to the side, so that when he needed to relieve himself, Meng would bite him hard and block his mouth.
Painful yet exhilarating—that perfectly describes this moment.
After they separated, the two of them almost needed each other's support to stand. Fu Xuanliao raised his hand and pressed the switch on the wall next to him. The moment the overhead light came on, their most disheveled and miserable appearances were fully revealed to each other.
Blood seeped from the corner of Fu Xuanliao's mouth, and the wound that had not yet healed was bitten open and made deeper.
Shi Meng gasped for breath as if she were suffocating, tears streaming down her face in streaks.
"You don't want me to die." His chest still heaving, Fu Xuanliao couldn't wait to confirm, "You don't want me to die, right?"
Upon hearing this, Shi Meng seemed to regain some composure from his anger and realize how absurd the cause of his impulsive act was.
He actually said something so jealous, and the person he was arguing with was a dead man.
The promises to forget and not care have all become empty words.
But what's done is done. Shi Meng bit her lower lip, which was numb from the caress, and stubbornly said, "Go if you want to, what does it have to do with me?"
"Okay, I'll go now."
After saying that, Fu Xuanliao released his hand from around Shi Meng's waist. This time, before he could even turn his body around, Shi Meng pulled him back by the corner of his clothes.
Under the lamplight, Shi Meng's eyes showed a desperate red, fierce but not very intimidating. Especially her thick eyelashes were wet with tears and clumped together. With a gentle blink, more tears were squeezed out, which made Fu Xuanliao's heart soften terribly. He was willing to agree to whatever Shi Meng said, and he would gladly suffer more pain.
Fu Xuanliao clenched his teeth and his eyes reddened as he gently pulled the little mushroom's soft body into his arms again.
"You don't want me to die." This time it was a definite statement. "I knew it, you couldn't bear to."
Time and again, Shi Meng found himself in a predicament due to his soft-heartedness and impulsiveness, and he hated Fu Xuanliao's cunning to the extreme.
After struggling a few more times, still unable to escape, Shi Meng, not wanting to hear any of this, twitched her nostrils rapidly, clenched her fists, and punched Fu Xuanliao's shoulders and back hard as if she had nowhere to vent her frustration.
"Why do you have the right to refuse to let go? Why are you... forcing me like this?"
"Why should I..."
I want to love you too.
It felt like there was a piece of cotton stuck in her throat, and her tear ducts seemed to be out of control. Shi Meng clenched her teeth desperately to stop herself from crying.
Crying is a common tactic of the weak. He has everything now and lacks nothing, so what is there to cry about?
Perhaps it wasn't that she hated Fu Xuanliao, but rather that she was angry at her own cowardice and incompetence.
He should have given up expectations long ago, and he should have remained calm and composed in the face of Fu Xuanliao's relentless pressure. But the moment he heard those three words, he also heard a wavering in his heart.
The towering mountain peaks, as if shaken by an earthquake, shed several pieces of rock, and the once stable mountain body swayed violently.
Fu Xuanliao was the instigator of it all. He used to stand by and watch coldly, and even delivered a fatal blow to the mountain that was about to collapse at a critical moment. Now, however, he stood at the foot of the mountain like a madman, opening his arms to catch the falling rocks. Even if he was hit all over, he would use his strength to protect it carefully.
Then rebuild it.
“Yeah, why should I?” Fu Xuanliao also mocked himself.
Belated regret and deep affection are useless, but he had no choice but to stay put.
“Maybe I’m just lucky,” Fu Xuanliao said. “It’s been two lifetimes. In the last life, you were the one waiting, and in this life, it’s my turn.”
He tightened his arms, holding the long-lost treasure tightly in his embrace, silently expressing his fear of losing it.
"I'm afraid my good fortune will run out, and there won't be a next life. So in this life, whether you want it or not, I will give it to you and won't let you escape again."
Finally, Shi Meng, who was crying until she had no strength left, was carried to bed by Fu Xuanliao.
They returned very late, and after all that commotion, the sky was already beginning to lighten with a pale gray.
Shi Meng tilted his head and stared out the window. He reached out and touched the light switch, turning off the only light source above his head. The room became gray and gloomy, a quiet, cold-toned atmosphere before dawn.
Fu Xuanliao showered quickly, perhaps deliberately speeding up the process. After hurriedly rinsing off the sweat, he hastily threw on some clothes and hurried back to his room. Seeing the bulge on the bed, he draped a dry towel over his head and slowly walked in, wiping his hair as he went.
“I used your towel,” Fu Xuanliao said, “the white one.”
A dark head peeked out from under the covers, revealing a clean, white face. Shi Meng glanced at him and gave a curt "Oh" without any expression.
Fu Xuanliao walked over to him, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked with him at the clearly defined rooftops and sky in the distance.
After watching for a while, she draped the towel over her shoulder and suddenly said, "I often dream about you, ever since a long time ago."
Shi Meng blinked, curled up in bed.
"The you in my dream are just like you in reality—beautiful, cute, and gentle, and you always smile at me."
Shi Meng was too lazy to speak, but thought to herself, no one has ever used the word "gentle" to describe me.
Sure enough, Fu Xuanliao's next sentence was: "But you're not gentle with me at all."
“You tied me up, yelled at me, and kept biting me.” As he spoke, Fu Xuanliao raised his hand to touch the corner of his mouth, where a trickle of blood seeped out again. “It made me feel ashamed… and it hurt a lot.”
Shi Meng didn't know why Fu Xuanliao was saying these things, and naturally assumed that he was bringing up old grievances and interrogating him.
It takes two to tango, and Shi Meng never believed he was entirely innocent in the relationship that had deteriorated to this point.
But what Fu Xuanliao said next was beyond his expectations.
"Later I realized that you were meant to be gentle. Long ago, you were the gentlest person in the world. Later, so many misfortunes that you shouldn't have had to bear fell on you. You were forced to the brink of despair, so you had no choice but to pretend and hide your gentleness."
"It was I, and we, who forced us to this point."
After the tremor in his heart came an emptiness that felt like his soul was being ripped away. Shi Meng gave a meaningless twitch at the corner of his mouth and said, "I've never seen anyone like you, insisting on taking the blame for something you didn't do."
This was in response to Fu Xuanliao's words, which seemed to be a veiled reference to his previous confession and subsequent arrest.
Fu Xuanliao naturally understood, so he smiled, but without complaining or self-deprecation.
“I’d love to,” he said. “I’m afraid it’s not enough; I’d take any more.”
Before Shi Meng could call him crazy again, Fu Xuanliao turned to look at the person lying on the bed and took the initiative to answer the reason for doing so: "The dream reflected my subconscious desires. I want your gentleness, I want you to smile at me, because you are Shi Meng, the person I like."
Therefore, he couldn't remember what Shi Mu looked like, because that was just a shell. What he truly clung to was the illusory shadow that loved him and gave him tenderness and beauty.
As the truth came to light, the moments that had moved him overlapped with Shi Meng's, turning black and white into color, and the person he loved finally came to life.
True love never comes suddenly, but grows stronger with each passing day.
"Where was Mu then?"
After the hysteria, Shi Meng had a kind of resigned calm, so calm that she was no longer ashamed to ask about things that bothered her deeply.
Anyway, it's already been turned upside down.
Shi Meng even went so far as to specify the issue: "You said you would only like him, and it's impossible for you to like me."
After a few seconds of silence, Fu Xuanliao said, "It's not impossible, it's not that it's not possible."
At the time, he was shackled, and everyone reminded him not to forget. The more he feared forgetting, the more eager he was to get away. Later, he realized that Shi Meng was not just a temptation for him, but also the oxygen he needed to survive.
He should have faced his own heart long ago.
Unsure if Shi Meng would understand his meaning, Fu Xuanliao simplified the complex matter: "In short, I love you, only you. It was you before, and it will be you in the future. I couldn't live without you before, and now I can't live without you."
As if recalling the word corresponding to "living," Shi Meng trembled slightly. Even though he was still skeptical, he didn't press the matter further.
"You can say whatever you want now." He was exhausted and said weakly, "You're just taking advantage of the fact that I'm still here..."
Unable to continue, the shameless Fu Xuanliao finished the sentence for him: "Yes, I'm just taking advantage of your soft heart, taking advantage of your... love for me."
Fu Xuanliao felt despicable, but he had to, and could only, do this.
He can openly admit that he likes someone, desires someone, and wants to correct and make amends for something he was wrong. He only asks that Shi Meng admits that he hates someone, is calculating, and wants to be loved.
For them, love can be completely irrational, and it can also be a matter of mutual calculation.
When Shi Meng was forced to confess under torture, his anger and helplessness gradually dissipated when Fu Xuanliao revealed his long-hidden feelings. In its place came another rare emotion.
Not wanting Fu Xuanliao to see, he turned his face away, facing the wall.
Then he opened his lips and slowly said, "Before dawn, on the street opposite the convenience store, I looked back."
Fu Xuanliao naturally remembered what had happened not long ago. He followed Shi Meng for as long as he had been gone. He also remembered that a gust of wind had risen, and when Shi Meng turned his head, the first look he gave him was not cold, but rather calm and reassuring.
“Actually, I didn’t have to look back,” Shi Meng continued, “but I did.”
Since Shi Meng rarely brought up topics, Fu Xuanliao couldn't figure out his style or why he brought this up.
Are you asking me to guess why he turned around?
However, Shi Meng also had a habit of not talking nonsense. He would throw out the question and not keep the other person in suspense, but would take the initiative to tell them the answer.
The awkward posture of twisting his neck made Shi Meng's voice somewhat muffled, and his sobs revealed a helplessness that he could not hide.
He said, "Because I wanted to see if you were still there."
Fu Xuanliao was momentarily stunned, unsure whether it was because Shi Meng had finally revealed a similar sense of grievance in front of him, or because of the enormous amount of information contained in that short sentence.
Amidst the confusion and astonishment, he still managed to "translate" the sentence first.
There was no need to look back, but she did anyway. What Shi Meng wanted to say was—
I may say I want you to leave, but my body and heart honestly wish you to stay.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com