Chapter 65 The So-Called Meaning: I'm Happy Too. (Second Update)...
When she finished reading those words, both Yin Zejing and Shen Zhou's expressions changed; the former was shocked, while the latter was relieved.
Shen Zhou said, "You have found the truth of the world, Chen Xi, you have succeeded, you..."
He stared blankly at Chen Xi.
The jade slip slipped from her hand. She closed her eyes, and a sense of relief and ease froze on her face, like a withered leaf falling from a branch.
Instead, there was a profound despair.
Her voice trembled as she asked, "Is this it?"
Shen Zhou tried to wipe the blood off her face, but he couldn't get it off no matter what he did.
He wiped it again and again, saying repeatedly, "Chen Xi, don't do this."
He had clearly accepted her departure, so why did he make that face?
Chen Xi stared blankly at the sky.
"so--"
She swallowed a mouthful of blood, as if gritting her teeth.
"We sacrificed so many lives, is this all?"
"In the end, I solved nothing, I accomplished nothing. I just told the world that everything was beyond saving!"
Her face was ashen, like a dusty old sheet of paper, and she said, slowly and deliberately, "I'm just as stupid as my parents."
Her hands were icy cold, and Chen Zhou's heart sank as well.
Yin Zejing fed her pills, infused her with magical power, and used the best magical treasures on her, but nothing worked.
Chen Xi rolled her bloodshot eyes, raised her hand to wipe the tears from his face, and murmured, "I actually left you for such a reason."
Yin Zejing: "You won't leave, I won't let you go."
Chen Xi said, "It would have been better if I hadn't met him."
Yin Zejing's tears fell onto the back of her hand, and gradually dried up.
He said with difficulty, "I said a long time ago that there are many ways to live, and I hope you can be yourself."
"In any case, you've been with me for two hundred years, and I'm very grateful."
The last few words were choked with emotion and he could not speak.
Chen Xi said softly, "I... hate my father, I hate my mother, I hate everything in this world... but if there is a next life..."
"I would be willing to live again."
She said, "I promise I won't be so willful next time."
Yin Zejing's tears flowed again, but he smiled and said, "Alright, in the next life, I'll still come to find you."
Chen Xi nodded slightly.
The sunlight was too bright today; she leaned against Yin Zejing's chest, barely able to open her eyes.
Perhaps it was a revolving lantern, but she recalled something she wouldn't normally think about.
She tried to blink, but all she could see was blood. She had no choice but to give up and gesture for Shen Zhou to come closer.
Shen Zhou leaned close to her lips and heard her weak voice: "When you were little, every time you killed someone, you would have nightmares for a long time. You always thought I didn't know, but how could I not know?"
Shen Zhou's eyelashes trembled slightly. He wanted to say something, but his throat seemed to be blocked, and he couldn't make a sound.
“But I’m not afraid of killing, I don’t care how many I kill,” Chen Xi said haltingly. “So I thought, I’ll just kill more. As long as I kill enough people, you’ll be able to relax and find relief.”
"Later, you fell into demonic ways. You said it was your own choice, but you used to hate demonic cultivators so much."
"Then I thought, as long as I follow my parents' teachings, protect all living beings, and walk the path you cannot walk, I can make you feel less guilty and in pain."
She paused, her eyes dimming as if struck by something.
“But I think… I did everything wrong,” she said.
"Justice does not exist, the way of Heaven is hypocritical, and this whole world is nothing but a lie."
"Brother...you actually knew all along, didn't you?"
Shen Zhou said, "I don't know."
He truly didn't know, but had only vaguely guessed.
This wasn't difficult. When he easily passed through several tribulations of lightning in a row, he gradually realized something was wrong.
He guessed that the goal of Heaven was to prevent those who were expected to ascend to immortality, in order to cover up another secret—the upper realm had been destroyed, and no one could become an immortal anymore.
As one of the five spiritual roots, he was naturally not under the monitoring of the Heavenly Dao.
As he delved deeper into this conjecture, he gradually became convinced that he was right, and that the Heavenly Dao was hiding far more than just this.
But he was too late again.
He devoted his entire life to the task, using any means necessary, always one step behind.
“I’m on the same path as you, Chen Xi,” he said. “I’m just a step behind you.”
“It’s different…”
Chen Xi shook his head, a look of sorrow on his face, as if he had been crushed by the absurdity and irony.
“Nothing I’ve done has been meaningful,” she said indifferently. “My mother thought she was following in my father’s footsteps, but that was a lie. I thought I was keeping up with my parents, but that was also a lie.”
"So, brother."
Why were we born into this kind of world?
After she finished speaking, she seemed to have used up her last bit of strength and slowly closed her eyes.
She didn't wait for Shen Zhou's answer, because her brother never answered such questions, and she didn't need any answer.
Her life has come to an end.
But suddenly, she heard Shen Zhou speak, his voice soft and gentle: "When I was little, I learned swordsmanship from my father for the first time. At that time, I thought that I was born as a human just to hold this sword."
Chen Xi suddenly opened her eyes.
Shen Zhou smiled, patted her head, and continued, "Later, I liked listening to my father tell stories, I liked listening to my mother sing, and I liked the dog I raised. I think I must have seen this kind of life to be willing to come into this world."
"Then you were born. When you were very young, you cried and laughed. The first word you learned was 'Brother, want.' At that time, I thought..."
"Perhaps I was born into this world just to be your brother."
Chen Xi listened in a daze, her emotions torn apart by these words. Her sadness, resentment, and regret were all banished, leaving only his voice.
Shen Zhou looked at her and said, "I know these are all trivial things. But it is precisely these small things, these different moments, that constitute the meaning of our existence, right?"
As soon as she finished speaking, Chen Xi burst into tears.
She cried like a child, saying, "I'm sorry, brother, I'm so sorry... I threw your book away and I yelled at you, I'm so sorry..."
She was speaking in complete confusion, but strangely enough, Shen Zhou almost immediately understood what she was saying.
That was a long time ago, he was about eight years old, and Chen Xi was six.
Once, they were sitting in the yard looking at a picture book. One of the pictures depicted a happy family of three, which annoyed him, so he casually flipped it over. But Chen Xi insisted on flipping back to that page, staring at it and saying, "Brother, will Dad hold your hand like in the picture?"
He replied dismissively, "Maybe."
Chen Xi looked at him: "Then why do other children say that we were abandoned by our fathers?"
He said, "We were abandoned, otherwise why isn't he here?"
Looking back, I realize he really shouldn't have said those things.
Chen Xi was very angry at the time. She threw his favorite picture book on the ground and ran into the house, not allowing him to come in. She shouted, "Brother is lying! Brother is deceiving me!" like an angry little beast.
Shen Zhou was at a loss and tried to coax her for a long time without success. In the end, he learned wood carving and carved a beautiful wooden dragonfly for her.
"Don't be angry anymore." He put the wooden dragonfly in the girl's hand and whispered, "I misspoke. Daddy loves you the most. He always talks about buying you new clothes."
"...Really?" The girl turned around and didn't throw away the wooden dragonfly.
"Really!" Shen Zhou nodded vigorously, comforting his sister with his fabricated lie, "So don't be upset, let's look at the picture book again."
That scene flashed through my mind, just like it is now.
Chen Xi handed him a wooden dragonfly stained with blood and said, "Don't be sad anymore."
"..."
“Okay,” Shen Zhou agreed.
He won't be sad; there's nothing to be sad about.
But when he saw Chen Xi's bloodshot eyes, he was reminded of his mother's unseeing eyes when she died.
He said, "Go to sleep."
Then he blindfolded Chen Xi and sang a lullaby to her so she could rest in peace.
When he was little, his mother often sang this song, and naturally she sang it to Chen Xi as well. But later, due to the turbulent times, Chen Xi never heard it again; only he remembered it.
Chen Xi fell asleep. His palms, though he could not feel the rise and fall of his breath, remained raised, and the singing continued.
Yin Zejing knelt there blankly, seemingly listening to his song, yet also seemingly not.
Suddenly, they all heard the cry of a white crane, its mournful cry piercing through the clouds.
Yin Zejing woke up suddenly. He looked down, picked up Chen Xi, and got up.
Without a word, he led Chen Xi away.
"Yin Zejing, what are you doing?" Shen Zhou shouted angrily. "She's my sister, give her back to me!"
Yin Zejing didn't even turn his head: "I've already granted her wish once, now it's my turn."
Shen Zhou chased after him, but no matter what magic he used, he was always one step behind Yin Zejing.
This step represents a gap in strength, an insurmountable chasm.
Yin Zejing forced a smile and turned to look at him: "A-Zhou, I will find the Heavenly Jade and bring her back to life. You believe me, okay?"
Shen Zhou's sword energy slashed towards him, his angry words mixed with: "Let me go! You get back to the Yin family!"
Yin Zejing just smiled and walked away.
"Yin Zejing, come back! Give her back to me!!"
...
By the time Shen Zhou found him, he had already flown to the top of the East China Sea.
Yin Zejing: "They say the Heavenly Jade is right here, so let me give it a try."
Shen Zhou: "You're courting death..."
He uttered his first swear word, and then said, "I'm with you!"
Yin Zejing shook his head: "You are different from us. You have to live. You are a true genius. Your life is more valuable than anyone else's."
Shen Zhou rested his head on his hands and murmured, "It's different... How exactly am I different? I can be with you too!"
Yin Zejing took a step back and said, "You may leave, Shen Zhou."
As the Qilin Prison took shape, he leaped into it, leaving only a final sword aura to stop Shen Zhou and send him back to the shore.
...
"Bright lights".
Hua Deng heard a voice calling her.
She was eager to see what happened next when she was suddenly woken up. Still in a state of extreme confusion, she blurted out, "And then? What happened next?"
As soon as he finished speaking, he met familiar eyes.
Shen Zhou stood in front of her, touched her forehead, and said, "It's not burned yet."
Hua Deng: "..."
She slapped his hand away: "I'm perfectly fine, why do you keep cursing me!"
Shen Zhou pinched her face without any politeness: "Say it again and I'll throw you out."
The streetlights grinned at him.
"I'm saying," Yin Zejing, who was squatting to the side, raised his hand, "Does anyone even care about me?"
Hua Deng was jolted awake and quickly escaped from Chen Zhou's clutches. She coughed awkwardly and said, "Sorry, I think I accidentally saw something."
"Oh, it's nothing." Yin Zejing waved his hand dismissively. "I have no fear of showing off my glorious life."
Hua Deng laughed, finally unable to contain herself, and asked him, "So later..."
Yin Zejing spread his hands and said helplessly, "I don't know. I am just a wisp of divine consciousness, and my memories are incomplete."
He then changed the subject, pointing at Shen Zhou and saying with a smile, "Why don't you ask him? He'll definitely remember it clearly."
Shen Zhou said calmly, "Nothing happened after that. You destroyed the lightning tribulation and saved all the people in the world."
Hua Deng chimed in, "Yes, your deeds have always been celebrated, which is why we came here."
Yin Zejing said, "As expected of me, what else?"
Shen Zhou said, "Also, you found the Heavenly Jade, resurrected Chen Xi, and lived a very happy life."
Yin Zejing said, "Really? That's wonderful... And what about you?"
"..."
“I am very happy too,” Shen Zhou said.
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