Zhang Yufeng recalled what happened to Tiancheng half a month ago. At that time, she was extremely anxious. When she saw that Tiancheng was injured, she blamed her second son.
At the time, I didn't think much of it, but looking back now, I realize that the second brother's eyes seemed calm, but they were actually filled with disappointment. I guess from that time on, his feelings for me became much less intense.
Otherwise, why would he prefer to stay in the mountains rather than come back?
Did I really do something wrong?
"Mom, you're not asleep yet."
Wang Tianxiao came in and stood against the wall. His eyes swept over the railing and he noticed a row of small shoes, hats, and clothes. He felt a mix of emotions.
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My mother's eyesight is getting worse and worse. Because of the hard work she did when she was young, and the countless nights she spent making shoes and mending clothes under the kerosene lamp, her presbyopia has become very severe over the years. It must have taken a lot of effort for her to make these things.
This is because things like this are usually made by the grandmother for her grandson.
Although she hadn't told her mother the specific arrangements for the full moon celebration, and her mother hadn't even seen her grandson, she still hadn't given up on the things she needed to do.
Perhaps, in her mother's heart, she had already done what she was supposed to do, but in her own eyes, she was always pursuing something called fairness.
He had always longed for his mother to treat both his children equally, but she didn't seem to have that concept.
She may never truly understand her own grievances.
"Are you cold? If you are, come sit on the kang. The coal you bought for me last time is very good. There are not many stones in it. It will keep warm for a long time when heated in the kang."
"No, I'm dressed warmly enough, I'm not cold."
Wang Tianxiao didn't get on the kang (heated brick bed), but seeing his mother's embarrassment, he sat on the edge of the kang and helped his younger sister, Xiaozhu, cover herself with the quilt.
The coal-fired kang (heated brick bed) gets very hot, sometimes enough to set the bedding on fire. Children, being hot-tempered, would often throw off their blankets after sleeping for a while.
Although Wang Xiaozhu is the younger sister, Wang Tianxiao is no longer a young soul, so looking at her is like looking at a child, a twelve-year-old girl, cute and innocent.
“Want some water? There’s some in the thermos. My cup is behind the railing,” Zhang Yufeng said.
"No, I'm not thirsty."
After the simple opening remarks, the atmosphere became slightly suffocating.
Wang Tianxiao was hesitating about how to start the conversation when Zhang Yufeng initiated the topic.
"Tianxiao, isn't the baby about to turn one month old?"
Wang Tianxiao nodded: "The day after tomorrow."
“I reckon it’s about time,” Zhang Yufeng nodded. “I’ve been having trouble remembering things lately, and I’m afraid I’ll forget this. Look, those are the shoes, hats, and clothes I made for the children. Oh, and this…”
Zhang Yufeng pulled a red string from under her pillow, with a small triangular red bag hanging from it.
“This is a longevity talisman I got for my child at Dongshan Temple. It was blessed by a yin-yang master. Take it back and let your child hang it around his neck. If I live for another twelve years, I will remove it for him. If I die then, you can just go to the temple and have the yin-yang master remove it.”
This talisman is called a longevity talisman, and it's a local custom.
In Qingcheng, there is a famous place for seeking divine intervention and worshipping Buddha called Dongshan Immortal Abode.
It's a hodgepodge, containing Taoist deities, Buddhist bodhisattvas and Buddhas, and even Confucian sages.
Before a child in the neighborhood reaches one month old, an elder would go to the Immortal Abode in Dongshan to obtain a longevity talisman. After returning, the talisman would be hung under the armpit of the child's clothes or worn around the neck, and would be worn until the child turned twelve, which would mark the completion of a cycle, before being removed.
The so-called longevity charm contains a talisman drawn on a piece of yellow paper, wrapped in red cloth in a triangular shape. If you want to wear it around your neck, you need to get a red string from a temple. If you want to wear it under your arm, you sew it to your clothes with red thread.
When the child turns twelve, if the elder is still alive, the elder can remove the hairpin and put a handprint on the child's forehead.
If the elderly person has passed away, one needs to go to a temple where a talisman is obtained, have it removed by a spirit medium, and then stamp a red mark on the child's forehead to signify that he has survived his first tribulation. This is a way of letting all demons and evil spirits know so that they will not bother him again.
Dongshan Immortal Abode is located in a mountain valley in the next town, more than ten kilometers away from Wangjiazhuang. Zhang Yufeng can't ride a bicycle, so she must have walked there. With her small feet, it would probably take her almost a whole day to make the round trip.
It was quite tough.
When Wang Tianxiao heard his mother mention death, his heart softened slightly.
He knew that if things followed the same trajectory as in his previous life, his mother wouldn't live past Wang Peng's twelfth birthday.
When Wang Peng was eight years old, his mother passed away.
He also knew that his mother was not far from becoming hemiplegic. In the summer of 1985, his mother was working in the fields and it was too hot. When she got home, she drank a spoonful of ice water and fainted.
When he woke up again, he had developed hemiplegia and was paralyzed on the kang (a heated brick bed) ever since.
At first, everyone managed to stay together, but as they saw that their mother was slow to recover, they gradually revealed their true colors, and the family completely fell apart.
My mother also became a burden to everyone, and no one wanted her.
Unlike others, Wang Tianxiao's feelings towards his mother are complex.
Others who hurt him do so because of vested interests; they want to take more from him.
The grudge between his mother and him stemmed entirely from his mother's unfair treatment of him and his brothers. However, to be fair, his mother could only say that she hadn't done enough; she had no intention of hurting him.
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