Generally speaking, the customs for weddings and funerals in Qingcheng are roughly as follows.
The most solemn occasions are usually funerals.
In earlier years, if an elderly person passed away in winter, the body would be kept for seven days and seven nights before the funeral. Therefore, the children of the organizers would host a feast for the guests for seven days and seven nights.
Leaving aside the complicated customs and rituals involved, the cost alone is something that most people couldn't afford.
If it weren't for the fact that there are usually more children at this time, so that everyone could share the burden, this custom would not be able to be maintained at all. Not to mention anything else, just the feasting alone could bankrupt people.
Perhaps for this reason, in the later stages, unless a family was particularly wealthy or a very old member of the family passed away, they would continue to adhere to the seven-day rule, while most families would reduce it to three days.
The first day was spent entertaining relatives who came from afar.
The formal ceremony took place the next day, followed by a family ancestral worship ceremony in the evening.
On the third day, before sunrise, the person would be buried, and then relatives and friends would have a feast. After the feast, they would disperse in the afternoon.
For weddings, the order of importance should be separated by gender.
If it's a wedding, then it's equivalent to a day's process in the middle of a funeral.
If it's a daughter's wedding, it usually takes half a day, and many families only provide one meal.
Then there's the full moon celebration.
The full moon celebration is generally considered to be on the same level as a wedding, but the rules and the sense of ceremony are different.
For example, in Qingcheng, there is a custom of giving steamed buns as gifts at weddings and funerals.
In other words, when someone has a wedding or funeral, if you go to offer your condolences, you not only need to bring money or gifts, but you also need to carry steamed buns with you.
For example, at a funeral, people usually bring thirty-two or twenty-four steamed buns as a gift.
The family that did the favor will give you a small gift in return, depending on how many steamed buns you brought.
If you bring 32, return 12, and put a piece of meat in four of the steamed buns.
If you brought twenty-four, return eight, and stuff meat into two of the steamed buns.
The reason for sending steamed buns is mainly because steamed buns are the staple food of the people of Qingcheng.
If a family member suddenly dies, it would take nearly a thousand steamed buns to entertain the guests. If they were to steam them, there simply wouldn't be enough time, so the guests would bring their own steamed buns.
Whether it's a funeral or a wedding, steamed buns are the main dish.
But a full moon is not.
During the full moon, people would bring guokui (a type of flatbread) to offer gifts.
Guokui is actually a flatbread, a type of dry food, and one of the staple foods commonly eaten by the people of Qingcheng.
Guokui (a type of flatbread) is relatively dry, does not spoil easily, is easier to store, and is very popular.
When someone's child celebrates their one-month birthday, you only need to bring a guokui (a type of flatbread), and you don't need to give a guokui in return.
Just like weddings and funerals, the scale of a baby's full-moon celebration depends mainly on the family's financial situation. If they can afford it, they can have a grand celebration; if even food is a problem, they can keep it simple and not try to impress others by spending more than they can afford.
When Wang Fang turned one month old, Wang Tianxiao didn't even make it home, so he didn't celebrate with her, which is one of Wang Tianxiao's regrets.
This time, it coincided with Wang Peng's one-month celebration. His financial situation was already sufficient, and he no longer needed to be strapped for cash. He could loosen his belt a bit and give his child a proper one-month celebration.
But in reality, Wang Peng's biggest dilemma for celebrating his baby's one-month birthday wasn't money, but rather how and where to hold it.
According to Wang Tianxiao's idea, he would hold a ceremony on the mountain and only invite some people from his father-in-law and mother-in-law's family. He didn't want to make a big fuss at his own home.
But Li Yali felt that this would leave Zhang Yufeng completely embarrassed and heartbroken, and the relationship between Wang Tianxiao and his mother would continue to be strained.
If the relationship between brothers deteriorates, they can simply cut off all contact for the rest of their lives. However, it is not entirely appropriate to cut off all contact with one's mother for the rest of one's life.
His mother was biased, but she did raise him nonetheless.
I remembered that when Wang Tianxin came over yesterday, he mentioned that his mother had expressed her wish to visit her grandson Wang Peng, but because she was not feeling well, it was inconvenient for her to come, so she had not been able to do so.
Wang Tianxiao didn't pay any attention.
Two weeks ago at the hospital, he clashed with his mother again, and their relationship plummeted to a freezing point.
Both he and his mother are holding their breath and need time to calm down.
This is what frustrates him the most.
"So what are your thoughts?" Wang Tianxiao wanted to get his wife's opinion on the baby's one-month celebration.
After all, she endured ten months of pregnancy and deserves more say.
"I've thought about it, and I think we should hold it in the village."
Under the lamplight, Li Yali's eyes shone with tenderness. "I know you don't like the environment at home, but after all, you were born in the village, where you have relationships and emotions that you can't sever. My thought is that you don't have to have too close contact with those people, but you should still maintain certain relationships. Otherwise, you're essentially cutting off your roots, which isn't a very rational thing to do."
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Seeing Wang Tianxiao remain silent, Li Yali said softly, "Think about it. If you want to achieve something here, you'll need a lot of help, won't you? Didn't you say before that harvesting herbs requires a lot of manpower? If you don't maintain certain relationships now, where will you find people later? Even if you have money, you might not be able to find people willing to do the work."
Wang Tianxiao was stunned. He hadn't thought about this point of view his wife had made before.
The main problem is that his perspective doesn't suddenly broaden.
It's not that he suddenly became capable of everything after his rebirth, or that his mindset suddenly soared to the heavens.
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