The pond water is so cold in autumn.
Zhang Chunfeng released Li Xiuman, but held Li Xiuman's hands with both of his own.
“Li Xiuman, look at me,” Zhang Chunfeng said.
This was the second time Zhang Chunfeng had called his name so seriously. Li Xiuman didn't know what Zhang Chunfeng wanted. His palms were sweating. He looked at Zhang Chunfeng's peach blossom eyes, which could captivate him with just one glance.
Lee Soo-man's heart was pounding so hard, like someone about to be slowly tortured to death listening to a final declaration.
“Lee Soo-man, we’re even now,” Zhang Chunfeng said softly. “Since we’re even, let’s start over.”
With a loud bang, Lee Soo-man's heart felt like it had been hit by a firecracker during the Lunar New Year, and his whole body trembled violently.
"After this period of time, I really realized that I, Zhang Chunfeng, am in love with Li Xiuman. I don't know why, I can't think of any reason for this love. I feel happy whenever I see him, I feel naturally excited whenever I have close contact with him, and I feel uncomfortable if I don't see him for a day."
“I sincerely confessed my love to Lee Soo-man. I don’t care if he is my sister-in-law or anyone else. I only know that I truly love him. For the rest of my life, I will protect him, love him, and always keep him in my heart.”
The words struck Lee Soo-man's heart with each syllable. Before Lee Soo-man could even speak, tears welled up in her eyes, large drops of tears flowing uncontrollably.
The heartache of being abandoned by his parents, the pitifulness of being deceived by his mother, the bitterness of being swept up by life, the capriciousness of being toyed with by fate—all of it vanished in that moment. If meeting Zhang Chunfeng in this life meant experiencing all of the above, Li Xiuman was willing, willing to endure ten lifetimes of suffering, just to have Zhang Chunfeng standing before him today, saying these words.
Lee Soo-man's tears truly fell like pearls from a broken string, silently and continuously.
"What...what's so good about me?" he stammered, feeling utterly hopeless, that he would say such a thing at a time like this.
When people are close to happiness, they become anxious and insecure. When they love someone deeply, they often feel indebted and even more unworthy of the other person.
"Don't rush to reject me, Lee Soo-man. The person standing in front of you right now is not the Zhang Chunfeng you think is trying to get official rank, nor is he the Zhang Chunfeng you said had many options after being ten years younger than you. The person standing in front of you right now is an ordinary person who also hopes to feel and hold onto true love. She will also stand tremblingly in front of someone she likes, waiting for his answer."
Lee Soo-man could no longer utter a single word; his tears were almost draining all the moisture from his body.
“I…” Lee Soo-man wanted to agree immediately, to say that he also loved her. But he had never heard anyone say the words “love” in his entire life. He had been a burden to his parents since birth, and in the twenty years he had grown up, he had never experienced this kind of feeling.
He was so afraid that if he nodded, Zhang Chunfeng would suddenly tell him that it was all a joke.
He was so scared, so scared that this was just a dream, and that if he nodded, the dream would end.
He was terrified. He was so afraid that if he agreed now, Zhang Chunfeng would abandon him in the future, and he would really not be able to go on living.
Zhang Chunfeng looked at Li Xiuman without saying a word for a long time.
"Does my sister-in-law also have feelings for me?"
Lee Soo-man cried, his lips trembling but unable to utter a single word for a long time. His jaw was chattering, and every part of his body was out of his control.
He didn't notice that Zhang Chunfeng was already standing by the pond.
"Sister-in-law, aren't you going to tell me?" she asked with a smile, her back to the pond as she opened her arms.
"The pond water is so cold in autumn." With these words, she leaned back, about to fall into the pond.
Only then did Li Xiuman see that, at that moment, he disregarded his back pain and sprained ankle, and grabbed Zhang Chunfeng with lightning speed.
"I do, I do!" Li Xiuman shouted, tightly embracing Zhang Chunfeng who was about to fall in.
Tears streamed down his face, and his heart pounded wildly.
"Sister-in-law is really stubborn." Zhang Chunfeng smiled and gently wiped away the tears on Li Xiuman's face.
“That’s settled then. Once I pass the imperial examination, you will divorce my brother. I will take care of my brother for the rest of my life. You don’t need to feel guilty. If I pass the exam, I will definitely be given an official position. We will go to a place where no one knows us. No one will know that you are my sister-in-law.” Zhang Chunfeng hooked his arm around Li Xiuman’s hand.
As Lee Soo-man listened to this plan, a warm feeling welled up inside him.
"Okay, whatever you say."
Zhang Chunfeng embraced Li Xiuman and was about to kiss him when he heard someone shout from outside the road, "Sir, have you encountered any trouble? Why haven't you come out yet?"
Zhang Chunfeng smiled and said, "People outside probably think we fell into the pond." She lifted her clothes and helped Li Xiuman up.
"You still have an injury on your foot, let's go home first."
The two men helped him to the sedan chair, and the sedan chair bearers bowed, saying, "Just now, my brothers and I saw a man in gray clothes sneaking this way. We were worried about your safety, so we apologized to you."
Zhang Chunfeng was a distinguished guest of the Zhou family, and everyone knew this, so they immediately reported everything to Zhang Chunfeng.
"Gray clothes? Can you make out what they look like?"
The sedan chair carriers shook their heads; after all, they were just sedan chair carriers, not guards serving in the Zhou household.
"We couldn't see clearly from a distance, but they looked like villagers. They seemed normal when they came over, but just as they were leaving, they scrambled away as if they had seen something terrible."
Zhang Chunfeng raised an eyebrow slightly, realizing he had seen something extraordinary—could it be that he had seen himself and Lee Soo-man?
Li Xiuman was also slightly worried. Zhang Chunfeng nodded and got into the sedan chair with Li Xiuman, then told them to continue on their way.
"Spring Breeze, have we been seen by someone?"
"Is your sister-in-law scared?"
Looking at the smile in Zhang Chunfeng's eyes, Li Xiuman felt incredibly sweet. "Since I made a promise to you, I'm naturally not afraid."
Zhang Chunfeng held Li Xiuman's hand tightly, saying, "It doesn't matter if we're seen. You'll be my wife sooner or later, and people will see us eventually."
Lee Soo-man lowered his head, his heart filled with tenderness.
At this moment, Zhang Chunfeng took off a gold bracelet from his arm. Li Xiuman had never seen this before, and he had never seen it before, even though the two of them were usually naked together.
"I don't wear this often. It was my hundred-year-old bracelet when I was a child. I may look rich, but I don't actually have much on me. This is the only thing I've worn since I was a child. But this year I feel that wearing it makes me look like a child, so I've worn it less."
Zhang Chunfeng stuffed the bracelet into Li Xiuman's arms.
“It’s because I met you too late, sister-in-law. Keep this bracelet, consider it as me being with you for the first sixteen years of my life. When I have money in the future, I will buy you something even better.”
This time, Lee Soo-man didn't refuse; he simply held the bracelet in his hand and looked at it again and again.
Given the Zhang family's circumstances, the bracelet, which appeared to be pure gold, actually felt surprisingly light in the hand, naturally containing some copper. However, this bracelet had truly been with Zhang Chunfeng for sixteen years, its color polished ever brighter by his touch. Li Xiuman carefully touched it, imagining how, over those sixteen years, Zhang Chunfeng had grown from a one-year-old to a babbling toddler, then to someone who could recite a poem, then to being hailed as a child prodigy, and finally to the grown-up he was today.
His once pale heart was completely filled with the image he had imagined. Zhang Chunfeng, Zhang Chunfeng, Zhang Chunfeng, he repeated the name in his heart over and over again, every inch of his body was filled with it.
"I don't need anything better, this is fine." Lee Soo-man carefully placed the bracelet in his pocket.
“But I have nothing to give you,” Lee Soo-man said again, adding that he truly didn’t even have anything he had with him since childhood.
"It's alright. Even if I don't need anything, I'll still think about you all the time. If I give you something, I'm afraid you'll forget me." Zhang Chunfeng smiled, and his hands started to wander, reaching into Li Xiuman's clothes to rub and pinch, leaving layers of red marks.
Li Xiuman was still blushing, but he didn't stop her. He truly loved her to the extreme; no matter how he was treated, even if Zhang Chunfeng took advantage of him to the point of ruining him today, he didn't care. As long as that person was her, everything was fine.
How could I forget you?
"I'm afraid," Zhang Chunfeng said frankly. "I'm not only afraid that my sister-in-law will forget me, but I'm also afraid that you'll run away with someone else and leave me all alone in this world."
Li Xiuman felt a surge of warmth in his heart. He thought he was the only one who was afraid, but it turned out that Zhang Chunfeng was also afraid.
"Afraid I'll run away?" Lee Soo-man was slightly surprised. What was so good about him that made her afraid he would run away?
How could I?
Zhang Chunfeng thought for a moment and then said, "I will send someone to buy a maid. In a few days, when I go to the capital to take the imperial examination, my sister-in-law will accompany me."
Lee Soo-man hadn't expected this.
He hesitated for a moment, "I'm afraid Mother won't agree to buying a maid."
Earlier, Li had repeatedly said that Zhang Chunfeng needed a lot of travel money to take the imperial examination. For the past month, Zhang Chunfeng had not eaten at home. The four dishes on the table, which used to be two meat dishes and two vegetable dishes, had all been replaced with plain cabbage and rice cakes without any oil. Zhang Chunfeng was not getting enough to eat every day, so Li made him eat steamed buns instead.
With Li Shi having staked so much money on this, how could she possibly agree to buy a maid? She'd probably not only refuse but also grumble about it. Li Xiuman disliked being talked about; he'd rather work harder and tire himself out than listen to Li Shi's sarcastic nagging.
"If she doesn't agree, she doesn't agree. At worst, I'll take you away and there will be no one to take care of her," Zhang Chunfeng said, annoyed.
Li Xiuman noticed that Li Shi's favoritism towards Zhang Chunfeng seemed to stem from Zhang Chunfeng's lack of affection for Li Shi; on the contrary, Zhang Chunfeng, who had previously been...
The neglected Zhang Chuntian affectionately called Li Shi "Mother".
"Your mother is very good to you."
“It’s not like I asked her to be nice to me. I don’t like how she treats my brother. It’s as if it’s all because of me that my brother doesn’t eat as well as I do. In reality, I haven’t used a single penny of the family’s money since the eleventh month.” Zhang Chunfeng said coldly, though she also had her own grievances.
This surprised Lee Soo-man. "I didn't know about this."
“There’s a lot you don’t know yet, and I’ll tell you about it slowly later,” Zhang Chunfeng said.
Li Xiuman nodded, but still felt it was inconvenient to accompany Zhang Chunfeng to the capital for the imperial examinations. Although their relationship was settled, it was still clandestine, and he hadn't divorced Zhang Chunfeng. What if they were discovered as soon as they arrived in the capital, affecting Zhang Chunfeng's examination? Besides, even if they bought a maid, it was uncertain whether the maid could keep an eye on Zhang Chunfeng.
“Chunfeng, I’ve thought about it. You should go to the capital for the imperial examination alone. Don’t rush, let me explain slowly…” After speaking, Li Xiuman was afraid that Zhang Chunfeng would be unhappy, so he added, “Besides, Shen is my mother after all. Her death anniversary hasn’t passed yet, so I should visit her grave more often. It’s not right for her grave to remain unattended for half a year after I leave.”
Zhang Chunfeng thought about it for a moment, and seeing that Li Xiuman's attitude was firm, he gave up.
“I’ll be gone for at least five months, and I’m worried that my sister-in-law might change her mind.”
“Five months isn’t a long time; we can just write letters every day,” Lee Soo-man said, though he dared not imagine how long five months would actually be.
Upon arriving at the door, Zhang Chunfeng kissed Li Xiuman before leading his entourage out of the sedan chair.
Lee Soo-man's sprained ankle was so weak that he could only drag himself along the ground with one leg.
"Wife! Sister!" Zhang Chuntian ran up to her as soon as they arrived home.
He was indeed a bit more foolish than before, but fortunately, Li Xiuman had been teaching him meticulously for the past month, and Zhang Chuntian was not as slovenly as before.
But his affections did indeed shift to Li Xiuman. In the past, his eyes would always be on Zhang Chunfeng first, and he would pester Zhang Chunfeng to do this and that, but now he would only call her "little sister".
Zhang Chunfeng helped Li Xiuman into the house, took out some ointment, and was about to squat down to apply it to Li Xiuman when Li Xiuman took it from him.
"I'll do it myself, I'm afraid my mother will come," he said softly.
Zhang Chunfeng didn't say anything more, got up, mounted his horse, and went to fetch the village doctor. The villagers only called doctors from the city when they were seriously ill; for everyday sprains and bruises, the village doctor was sufficient.
The village doctor had his own set of bone-setting techniques. He frowned, pinched Li Xiuman's ankle, and then snapped it. Before Li Xiuman could react, beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Fortunately, the pain was instantaneous, and he took a deep breath to suppress it.
"Alright, get a good rest tonight, and it definitely won't affect your work tomorrow," the doctor assured him after receiving the money.
After seeing the doctor off, Zhang Chunfeng sent a message to Zhou Zhengdu via carrier pigeon, saying he wanted to buy a maid.
She sent the message, only to realize that the doctor had come and gone in the courtyard, and Zhang Chuntian was still making a ruckus, while Li Shi remained completely silent.
"Mother? Mother, are you there?" Zhang Chunfeng pushed open the door to the main hall and walked into Li's dimly lit room, where she saw Li lying on the bed with her back to her.
Zhang Chunfeng wondered, why should I sleep at this time?
"Mother, are you feeling unwell?"
"Cough, it's nothing, I just want to lie down for a bit." Li's voice was strange, and she still had her back to Zhang Chunfeng, so Zhang Chunfeng couldn't see Li's face.
"Should I have a doctor take a look at you?"
“No need, you can go out,” said Li.
Zhang Chunfeng disliked the darkness inside the house, and even more so the main room. Many baskets hung from the ceiling of the main room in the Li family's house; this was a method devised by the impoverished family to prevent rats and cockroaches from damaging the food, suspending it in mid-air.
In Zhang Chunfeng's memory, this method wasn't meant to keep out rats and cockroaches, but rather to keep out Zhang Chuntian. She still remembers that Li would often secretly bring her into the house, take out some slightly smelly meat from a basket, and let Zhang Chunfeng eat it.
"Eat up, my dear. I specially saved this for you. Your brother didn't get any. You're smart. After you eat this, study hard and become the top scholar in the imperial examination. Then our family will be secure."
Zhang Chunfeng didn't want to eat. She preferred lightly flavored vegetables and had no liking for marinated meats with a strong, unpleasant smell, especially since Li had said Zhang Chunfeng didn't have any. At that time, Zhang Chunfeng was still ten years old and could write articles. Li's words only made her angry.
“I don’t like to eat it. Since my brother wants to eat it, just give it to him. Why did you bring me here secretly when we’re all family?”
"Sweetie, your brother won't grow any brains if he eats this, you should eat it instead."
Zhang Chunfeng still refused to eat, so Li Shi got angry and started to accuse Zhang Chunfeng of being ungrateful, not knowing his own family situation, and what good his education had been. In the end, she even forced Zhang Chunfeng to eat.
With each bite of the foul-smelling meat, Zhang Chunfeng felt as if she were eating not meat, but the flesh and blood of Zhang Chuntian. Everything here should have been Zhang Chuntian's share, yet Li Shi had forced it upon Zhang Chunfeng, making her feel like a plunderer. This feeling disgusted her.
Therefore, since Li said it was nothing, Zhang Chunfeng didn't want to stay any longer.
“My sister-in-law twisted her ankle. I thought it would be too tiring for her to take care of both of you and work in the fields all by herself, so I bought a maid.”
Li gave a muffled "hmm" and said nothing more.
Zhang Chunfeng thought that Li was probably not feeling well, which was why she didn't object.
"I'll have someone cook ginseng soup for you tonight." After saying that, Zhang Chunfeng went out. The room was dimly lit, and Zhang Chunfeng didn't see that Li's shoes, which were covered in mud and weeds, were placed by the bed.
That kind of moist soil can only be found by the pond.
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