Chapter 33 Bitterness
"Tangtang, be good, Tangtang, be good..." Shi Chengyu coaxed softly. Every time Shen Chutang felt uncomfortable, he would pat her back and call her over and over again.
Both of them were not in good health when they were young. Shen Chutang was weak and fell ill every now and then. He was slow to react and didn't talk to anyone. Some people even said that he was mentally retarded and might become a fool when he grew up.
But after moving to Lanjiangting, things got much better. He gradually became more cheerful and willing to play with others. He did not become stupid, but instead became a proud figure in the circle.
When Shen Chutang cried, she would only calm down when she was with Shi Chengyu.
Both parents found it miraculous, as if they were born with destiny.
Shi Chengyu put her head on his shoulder and patted her back, "Tangtang, be good. You won't feel uncomfortable soon."
Shen Chutang sobbed and spoke with a heavy nasal tone, "You, you lied to me, it makes me feel so uncomfortable."
"My head is falling off."
Shi Chengyu felt distressed and amused at the same time, "Brother Chengyu is here, it won't fall."
He touched her neck with his hand and said softly, "It's still there."
Shen Chutang reached out to touch his neck dazedly, his thinking ability also slowed down, "Brother Chengyu."
Their hands touched each other, and Shi Chengyu naturally held her hand in his own, "What's wrong?"
Shen Chutang raised his head, his eyes misty, "Brother Chengyu."
"Um."
Shen Chutang called him again, but there was no further response.
"Brother Chengyu."
Shen Chutang's voice was light and soft. Her eyes fell on his chin, then moved up a little bit, looked at his lips and then smiled suddenly.
Her heartbeat was accelerating under the influence of alcohol, and she suddenly held Shi Chengyu's face with her hands. She had done this many times before.
Perhaps it was because of the different mood at the moment, or perhaps it was because of the smell of alcohol, the atmosphere in the car suddenly heated up and became subtle and charming.
Shen Chutang moved closer slowly, little by little. She wanted to kiss him, just wanted to kiss him, tonight, at this moment.
In the silent car, I don’t know whose heartbeat was disrupted first.
Shi Chengyu subconsciously held his breath, looking at the pink face slowly approaching, as if he was cast under a spell and unable to move.
But when Shen Chutang was about to kiss him, he suddenly turned his head away, and her soft lips slid across his cheek, and that half of his face seemed to be burning instantly.
His Adam's apple rolled unconsciously, and his voice was hoarse, "Tang, Tangtang..."
Shen Chutang looked at him blankly, her eyes full of confusion. She said, "Brother Chengyu, I want to kiss you."
Seeing that Shi Chengyu didn't answer, she said, "It's okay if you kiss me."
The generous and magnanimous attitude made Shi Chengyu completely lose the ability to think, and he stuttered when he spoke, "Tangtang...you are still young."
Shen Chutang frowned, and after a while, he probably understood what he meant, and he rejected her.
In her unclear mind, the two figures she saw side by side at Shi's that day and the incident of being mistaken for her sister suddenly emerged.
Shi Chengyu wanted to hold her in his arms, but Shen Chutang stubbornly moved back and refused. She looked up at him again, her eyes moist, "But I want to."
From childhood to adulthood, Chengyu would never refuse her whatever she wanted to do, and would even coax her when she had to do something she really couldn't do. But now he was hesitant, avoiding her gaze, not daring to look into Shen Chutang's eyes, and refused with a firm attitude.
"Tangtang, you are drunk. Let's talk when you sober up." Shi Chengyu said softly.
Shen Chutang looked at him stubbornly, "I'm not drunk, I just feel dizzy."
"I'm awake now."
Shen Chutang said this as she got down from his lap and sat crookedly in the seat next to him. She was overwhelmed by sadness and loss, and even the alcohol sobered her up a lot.
Shen Chutang pressed her head against the car window, looking at the cars and pedestrians passing by. The lights of various colors became unreal in her eyes. Tears blurred her vision and soaked her clothes.
Shi Chengyu called her helplessly, but Shen Chutang did not answer and just kept her back to him.
Seeing Shen Chutang in pain, he felt even more upset than she was, and he didn't know how to explain it to her.
There was a knock on the window on the other side, and Shi Chengyu hesitated for a moment before opening the door.
Lin Shulang bought some hangover medicine and a cup of honey water. Seeing that the atmosphere in the car was not right, he handed the things over, closed the door, and waited outside.
"Tangtang, drink some water first."
Shen Chutang twisted his shoulders and said, "No, I'm sober now and I'm not dizzy anymore."
"Okay, how about some water?"
"I want to go home."
Shen Chutang choked up and wiped away the tears that blurred his eyes with the back of his hand.
"good..."
Shi Chengyu's voice was harsh, and the thermos in his hand became a hot potato. He lowered the car window and handed it to Lin Shulang.
The car started driving again in the night. It was the first time that Lin Shulang saw two people quarreling, so he drove very carefully all the way.
When they arrived at the gate of the villa, Shen Chutang opened the door and ran down as soon as the car stopped. However, she was not fully sober yet, and she walked forward staggeringly. She really wanted to go home, not back to Shi Chengyu's house.
Shi Chengyu quickly got out of the car and pulled the person back, saying urgently, "Tangtang."
"I want to go home." Shen Chutang said in a crying voice.
"Be good, Tangtang, come back with me." Shi Chengyu picked her up. There was no one else in the Shen family except the servant. How could he bear to let her go back alone.
Shen Chutang did not struggle, but just shed tears silently. She seemed to understand in an instant.
She didn't regard Shi Chengyu as her brother, so what about Shi Chengyu? Did he regard her as his sister?
He always told her to be good and spoke to her in the tone of a child. Last time, he even called her a little girl. Perhaps in his eyes, she had always been a child who had not grown up.
Shen Chutang suddenly became unconfident due to the unprecedented sense of failure in his life which was about to turn 17 years old.
Shi Chengyu carried the person back to the room and put her on the bed. Just as he was about to reach out and touch her head, Shen Chutang dodged him.
Shi Chengyu stood there in a daze, his hand still suspended in mid-air, about to fall.
"Tangtang..." There was a hint of disbelief in his tone. Even when Shen Chutang was the most angry, she never refused his touch.
Shi Chengyu was a little at a loss for a moment, and he almost couldn't maintain the expression on his face.
"Brother Chengyu, I've grown up." Shen Chutang said lightly.
She didn't want him to treat her like a sister, nor did she want him to treat her like a child.
In the car, Shi Chengyu rejected her by saying that she was still young, and now Shen Chutang rejects Shi Chengyu by saying that she has grown up.
Contradictory, yet reasonable.
Shi Chengyu finally put his hand down, feeling mixed emotions of bitterness and sourness.
There were some things Shen Chutang didn't understand, and she didn't understand, but she knew very well that it wasn't that he didn't want to, but that he couldn't.
Of course he could let Shen Chutang kiss him, but what would happen next? What would Shen Chutang think when he sobered up?
He could bear criticism and abuse, but not Tangtang. He couldn't do those things when Shen Chutang knew nothing.
But he didn't know that during the years when he was forbearing and restraining himself, Shen Chutang had quietly grown up and understood what love was, and just wanted to express it without any scruples.
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