Chapter 96 Love is Hard to Find (Additional Chapter)
These were actually not a big deal to him. What made him collapse and unbearable was the chat history between the two of them.
He had watched it many times on his phone before and never noticed anything wrong. But when he saw it from Shen Chutang's perspective, the huge shock and helplessness made him feel like he was falling into an ice cave.
Shen Chutang would send him many messages before he would reply to one. Although he would respond every time, it was always just a few short words mixed in with Shen Chutang's large message pictures and emoticons, seeming so cold and perfunctory.
Shi Chengyu saw the two of them getting along from Shen Chutang's perspective for the first time, and he could not see any love in them. He finally couldn't help crying, and the clean white sheets were covered with tears. He said sorry over and over again in a hoarse voice.
Since then, Shi Chengyu's condition has been up and down. For a period of time, he lived an active life, ate and slept on time, and returned to a normal routine. Then, for a period of time, he was in a daze again, sitting by the bed day and night, not speaking, and not communicating with anyone.
He wanted to eat and sleep normally, but seeing anything would remind him of Shen Chutang, and then he would fall into endless pain and self-blame. He only felt better when he was next to Shen Chutang.
On Shen Chutang's birthday, the second year after the accident, Shi Chengyu got up very early, or maybe he didn't sleep at all. At dawn, he had already returned to the ward with fresh flowers bought from the flower shop outside, trimmed them, and put them in the vase on the bedside.
He also bought a cake and put a silver candle on it. The small flame flickered. Shi Chengyu put his hands together, made a wish, and then blew out the candle. It had no taste, and there was only the greasiness of cream between his lips and teeth, but he ate it all up.
It was still a day without any miracles, and there was nothing special about it because it was Shen Chutang's birthday.
Shi Chengyu talked to himself, trying to find something interesting to tell her, but he had been by her side for more than two years and there was nothing interesting. There were also some things he repeated over and over again. He wondered if Shen Chutang was tired of hearing them.
As night fell, Shi Chengyu used a cotton towel to wipe Shen Chutang's face. She hadn't seen the sun for more than two years, so her skin was sickly pale and her body temperature was very low regardless of winter or summer.
But Shi Chengyu had slowly gotten used to it and accepted it. He gently wiped Shen Chutang's cheeks, stroked the corners of her lips twice with his fingers, then lowered his head and kissed her on the lips.
After a very brief pause, Shi Chengyu felt her gentle breathing, and the corners of his lips slightly raised.
But the next second, a question suddenly popped up in his mind.
Has he ever kissed Tangtang on his own initiative?
The sudden question made him freeze, and he went through every detail of their time together in his mind.
The answer is no.
Did he ever tell Tangtang that he loved her?
The answer is still no.
His mind recalled his previous rejection of Shen Chutang. He had said no and that it was not possible.
Every time, it was Shen Chutang who took the initiative to kiss him. He never pushed her away, but he never took the initiative either.
He recalled their chat history, the photos and notes in his phone, and he could clearly feel Shen Chutang's love for him.
What about Shen Chutang?
Does Tangtang know that he loves her?
He didn't know and didn't dare to think about it.
His confused thoughts made his blood run cold. The cold was biting, and he ran out of the ward trembling and breathing rapidly. He rushed into the bathroom, then closed the door and slid down slowly against the wall.
He didn't realize until today that he had never taken the initiative towards Shen Chutang. It was Shen Chutang who pursued him, it was Shen Chutang who confessed his love to him, and it was Shen Chutang who took the initiative to kiss him every time.
If Shen Chutang couldn't feel his love, if Shen Chutang could never wake up again...
He didn't dare to think any further and sat on the ground, leaning against the cold tiles, with his head lowered.
He could carry the Shi family on his shoulders and support a huge business empire, but at this moment, just because of a fleeting thought, he was carrying an unspeakable weight that bent his back and made it impossible for him to straighten up again.
Shi Chengyu covered his face with his hands. His heart was broken by the regrets he felt. Every bone in his body ached. The emotions that had been suppressed for two years burst out in an instant. He was actually not strong at all, nor was he the emotionless and cold-faced president that others said he was.
He is just an ordinary person. When facing his unconscious lover, he will be afraid and terrified. He will cry helplessly again and again, and he will also pray devoutly to the gods and Buddhas.
He sat there from the endless darkness until dawn, and the sunlight shone through the window onto him, bringing a little warmth.
His legs were stiff and numb, so he stood up by holding onto the wall, cleaned himself up, and sent a message to Lin Shulan to bring him breakfast.
This was the first time that Shen Chutang took the initiative to ask for a meal after the accident. Lin Shulan did not dare to delay, fearing that he would change his mind the next second, so he quickly bought breakfast and sent it to him.
When he arrived, Shi Chengyu was standing beside Shen Chutang's bed with a faint smile on his face.
Lin Shulan rubbed his eyes in disbelief, suspecting that he was dazzled, but it was not the case.
Shi Chengyu not only smiled, he also bent down to kiss Shen Chutang and said good morning to her softly.
Lin Shulang widened his eyes in shock. If Shen Chutang had not been still asleep, he would have thought that Shen Chutang had woken up and that was why Shi Chengyu had become like this.
His expression was so obvious that when Shi Chengyu passed by him, he just said, "I'm fine," and then sat down at the dining table and started eating breakfast.
Shi Chengyu's condition improved.
This is probably the only good news that the Shen and Shi families have received in the past two years.
Shen Sichen was afraid that he would go from one extreme to another, so he went to the hospital to take a look.
He looked in shock for a long time before he was sure that Shi Chengyu was really smiling.
"Chengyu." Shen Sichen leaned against the door and watched for a long time, but Chengyu didn't notice him coming in.
Shen Sichen called him again, "Shi Chengyu, come out and talk?"
Shi Chengyu turned his head to take a look, lowered his head and whispered something in Shen Chutang's ear, then stood up and walked over.
"Second brother."
Shen Sichen nodded and said, "Accompany me downstairs for a walk."
He was testing Shi Chengyu and was even prepared to be rejected and talk to him in the living room, but Shi Chengyu actually nodded.
Shen Sichen was stunned for a moment, staring at his face for three seconds. He couldn't see anything abnormal, but he just felt something was wrong.
Shen Sichen took him to the garden downstairs. He could see Shen Chutang's ward when he looked up. He still remembered what Shen Sujing had said about separation and anxiety, and was afraid that Shi Chengyu could not bear it.
"Very good." Shen Sichen said without any context, and then said, "Chengyu, people always have to move forward."
Two years have passed, and all of their lives have returned to normal, except Shi Chengyu, who has stood still. His actions have told everyone that he cannot live without Shen Chutang, and everyone has gradually accepted this fact.
Now seeing his change, Shen Sichen feels more fortunate. After all, he is the person Shen Chutang likes, and they grew up together. He still hopes from the bottom of his heart that he can live a better life.
Shi Chengyu said nothing, his eyes fixed on the roses in the flowerbed in front of him.
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