Chapter Twenty-Two: Sharing Life and Death
Qiao Yuan drove across the Suzhou Bridge.
The crowd was so dense that his car could not move forward even an inch.
He impatiently honked the horn, but the piercing sound was drowned out by the clamor of the crowd, like a pebble thrown into a lake that didn't even cause a ripple.
Qiao Yuan abruptly pulled open the car door, throwing himself into the crowded throng. He struggled to push aside pedestrians blocking his way, his leather shoes stumbling on the slippery cobblestones, nearly tripping over the gravel several times.
The air was thick with the mingled smells of dust, sweat, and cheap tobacco. The sounds of women crying, children wailing, and men cursing filled his ears, making his temples throb like countless needles.
A comrade who had gone with Lin Jintang emerged from the crowd. He saw Qiao Yuan and rushed over, his voice hoarse from the effort: "Comrade Qiao Yuan! Don't go in! Comrade Jintang has detonated the armory, the entire area has been sealed off, and the Japanese army is frantically searching for survivors!"
Qiao Yuan grabbed the other person's collar, his eyes bloodshot: "What about her?!"
The other person was stunned by the ruthlessness in his eyes. His lips trembled, and after a long while, he managed to utter a few words with difficulty: "The armory collapsed... Comrade Jintang, she... she couldn't get out..."
Before he could finish speaking, Qiao Yuan's fist slammed into his face. The man staggered back a few steps, blood immediately trickling from the corner of his mouth.
Qiao Yuan stared at him like a wild beast out of control, his eyes bloodshot, his chest heaving violently as if he wanted to devour the surrounding air.
"Impossible!" he roared, his voice hoarse like a broken bellows. "Jintang promised me she would wait for me! She never breaks her promises! You're lying to me, you're all lying to me!"
He shoved the other man aside and rushed toward the armory without regard for the shouts and tugging of his comrades behind him.
The crowd surged forward like a tide, sweeping and shoving him along time and time again, but he was like a nail driven into the torrent, stubbornly moving towards the blazing ruins.
Comrade Na lunged at him and hugged his waist, shouting, "Are you crazy!"
He pressed Qiao Yuan firmly onto the scorching cement floor, sparks landing on their hair. "There are Japanese gas canisters under the armory! One more step and we'll both be blown to pieces! Comrade Jintang is prepared to sacrifice himself. You're coming with me!"
"Get out of the way!" Qiao Yuan's voice seemed to be squeezed out from a rusty bellows. He elbowed Chen Mo in the ribs with his backhand, listening to the dull thud of bones dislocating. "I, Qiao Yuan, owe her ten years of freedom, I owe her a body full of scars, I owe her... a student life that should have belonged to her. Now she wants me to pay with my life, and I can't renege on my debt!"
Qiao Yuan's struggle was filled with desperate madness. His knees scraped the rough ground, leaving glaring bloody marks. He was like a trapped lion, letting out suppressed growls.
The comrade's arm was painfully broken as he struggled to break free, yet it still held him tightly around the waist, its nails almost digging into his flesh.
"You think this is paying off a debt? You're making her sacrifice in vain!" The other person's voice trembled with anger and anxiety, and veins bulged on his forehead. "Comrade Jintang tore open a gap for us with her life. If you rush in now, you'll be trampling on the opportunity she risked her life for! How can you face her? How can you face those compatriots who are still waiting for us to rescue them?"
Qiao Yuan's movements suddenly froze. Chen Mo's words were like a cold dagger, piercing his already riddled heart.
His struggles gradually weakened, leaving only heavy and rapid breathing, his chest heaving violently, each breath accompanied by a searing pain.
He seemed to see the sea of fire that had devoured Lin Jintang raging not far away, thick smoke billowing and reddening half the night sky, like a giant monster opening its blood-red maw, about to devour all the beauty in the world.
“How could she… how could she…” Qiao Yuan’s voice choked with sobs, filled with endless despair and resentment. Tears finally broke free of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, dripping onto the scorching ground and instantly evaporating into a wisp of white smoke.
He reached out, trying to grasp something, but only grasped at empty air.
In that sea of fire, there was the woman he deeply loved, his past promises, and his hopes for the future, but now they have all turned to ashes.
The comrade felt Qiao Yuan's body go limp. He loosened his grip on Qiao Yuan's arm, then gently patted his back. His voice was much lower, with a barely perceptible sob: "Qiao Yuan, we know you're sad. But we cannot fall. Comrade Jintang's sacrifice is not meant to drown our grief, but to make us more determined to move forward. We must carry on her last wishes and continue the fight until we drive the invaders out of our homeland, until the dawn of a new day shines upon this land."
Qiao Yuan slowly raised her head, her eyes blurred with tears as she looked at Chen Mo, her gaze empty and lost.
He knew the other person was right, and he knew he couldn't just collapse like this. But his heart, which had once beat for Lin Jintang, felt as if a piece had been ripped out, leaving only endless emptiness and pain. How could he carry on with this deep-seated wound? How could he face a future without Lin Jintang?
"Let's go... let's go..." The other person's voice was so hoarse it was almost inaudible.
Qiao Yuan slowly stood up, staggered a bit, and the other person quickly reached out to support him.
In the instant he turned around, countless images flashed before Qiao Yuan's eyes with unparalleled clarity.
It was Jiangcheng during the plum rain season of 1931. He had just finished seizing dock territory for the Axe Gang, but was betrayed and stabbed in the back by his own people. At this moment, he was curled up next to a trash can like a stray dog.
Suddenly, an oil-paper umbrella was opened at the alley entrance, and the girl standing under the umbrella, wearing a moon-white school uniform, had a few strands of her short hair wet with rain.
That was Lin Jintang, a sixteen-year-old female student whose eyes had not yet been tainted by this terrible world. And her question, "Are you hurt? My home is nearby, should I go call a doctor?"
Qiao Yuan tried to smile, but the smell of blood rushed to his head first.
"Don't meddle in other people's business, young lady," he warned in a hoarse voice.
But she seemed not to hear him, and took out a plain white handkerchief from her canvas bag, carefully pressing it onto his wound.
The handkerchief carried a faint scent of osmanthus, which, mixed with the crispness of the rain, strangely overpowered the heavy stench of blood.
She looked up at him, tiny raindrops still clinging to her eyelashes.
It was that one glance. Qiao Yuan recalled it countless times afterward, always feeling that it was that one glance that had stolen his soul.
There was no fear or disdain in her eyes, only pure concern, like the spring sunshine shining into his life that had never seen the light of day.
"No need to call a doctor," he heard himself say, his voice trembling slightly. "This injury won't kill me."
After saying that, she stood up, and her oil-paper umbrella spun gently in the rain, like a blooming blue lotus, and quickly disappeared around the corner of the alley.
Qiao Yuan clutched the handkerchief that still held her warmth, the fragrance of osmanthus blossoms wafting into his nostrils.
He later learned that she had secretly slipped out of school to attend a progressive rally that day, only to bump into him in a disheveled state at the alley entrance.
And that one glance truly became a lifetime.
From that day on, he vowed to climb to the top of Jiangcheng, so that when they met again, he would no longer be a wretched figure huddled in an alleyway, panting like a dog.
But did he do the right thing or the wrong thing?
That must be wrong!
Driven by his own selfish desires, he killed Bai Mu and kept her by his side.
Will he let go and let her and Bai Mu leave?
Perhaps under another starry sky, there is no smoke of gunpowder, no gunshots, no separation of life and death, only a peaceful and ordinary life, like a calm lake reflecting the pure and untainted appearance she should have had.
But now, he has shattered all of that with his own hands.
His so-called protection only dragged her into a deeper abyss; everything he painstakingly pursued ultimately became a sharp blade piercing her.
Qiao Yuan felt as if an invisible hand was gripping his heart tightly, the pain making it almost impossible for him to breathe, and regret overwhelmed him like a tidal wave.
She pressed the gun against his heart, saying, "Qiao Yuan, I'm not the little girl I used to be. What you owe me, this shot will settle everything!"
He remembered the handkerchief she had given him ten years ago, her red eyes from staying up late managing the family business for him, and the silhouette of her reading in the study on countless late nights.
Those days and nights spent together had already grown into a towering tree in his heart, how could he bear to uproot it now?
Qiao Yuan suddenly broke free from the pull, roared like a wounded and trapped beast, and rushed back towards the sea of fire that had engulfed Lin Tang.
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