Jin He was awakened in the middle of the night by a feeling of tightness in his chest. He even dreamed that he was Sun Wukong, being pressed under the Five Finger Mountain, coughing from the tightness, feeling short of breath, and experiencing a dull pain in his chest and back, which was probably a precursor to angina.
Jin He was inwardly alarmed. An angina attack was no joke. He wanted to wake up and take a pill, but he couldn't wake up no matter what. Just as he was at a loss, the mountain on his body was suddenly removed. His body relaxed, and the tightness in his chest was greatly relieved.
"Cough cough..."
Jin He struggled to wake up and found himself half-lying in An Yi's arms. An Yi's hair was disheveled and his expression was flustered. He was putting an oxygen mask on Jin He's face. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Jin He was awake.
"What's wrong? You suddenly couldn't breathe just now."
Jin He lay half-reclined, breathing in and out. A layer of white mist rose from his oxygen mask. His gaze was fixed on the void, his eyes unfocused. After a long while, his eyes finally focused on An Yi's face, his expression filled with confusion: "You, how come?"
An Yi looked at the new bracelet on his wrist with a serious expression—it was the one he put on Jin He before going to bed. The heart rate was still a bit high, so he asked again, "Do you need to take some medicine? I also prepared some medicine that heart patients usually keep on hand."
"I'm asking you a question." Jin He's tone was impatient. After all, no one would be happy to wake up in an unfamiliar environment. He said, "Where did you bring me?"
An Yi seemed hurt by his words. While taking out the first-aid kit from the bedside table, she muttered, "Can't you be nicer to me? You're so mean."
"I've already made myself perfectly clear to you."
“Well, that’s why I rejected your suggestion.” An Yi said, taking out a pill as he asked, “Would nitroglycerin work?”
"I won't eat it."
"Don't joke around with your health." An Yi shoved the medicine into Jin He's mouth without saying a word, making him hold it in his mouth. He said, "Actually, Lin Nian has been suggesting that the two of us have a good talk."
"The captain..."
“I’ve been looking for an opportunity to talk to you calmly and rationally, but you’ve been avoiding the issue.” An Yi said, sounding very sad.
"But it's okay, I still like you very much."
"You can't stop me from taking care of you."
Jin He looked down at the silver-white newbie bracelet on her wrist and said, "I withdrew from the competition after the third round."
“Yes, it’s good for you to rest.” An Yi touched the protruding wrist bone on Jin He’s wrist and said, “I will support you in whatever you do, but…”
"Is there really no other way for the two of us? I really don't think it's come to the point where we have to break up."
"I want to go back to sleep."
Jin He rejected his request to communicate once again. He stood at the door with his pillow in his arms, his pajamas hanging loosely on his body, looking rather pitiful.
An Yi sat on the bed looking at him, looking like an abandoned dog in the moonlight.
How could this relationship leave both parties feeling wronged? Jin He turned to leave when he suddenly heard An Yi call his name softly from behind:
“Xiao He…”
"Xiao He, I really miss you..."
Jin He could barely hold back his tears as soon as he turned around. He knew An Yi well; he looked like he had a lot of tricks up his sleeve, but in reality, he was very simple-minded. He was genuinely puzzled as to why his once spirited boyfriend had really disappeared.
That's why he says now that he misses the Jin He of the past.
But the current Xiao He, riddled with illness and unable to even participate well in shows, is a stranger to him. In fact, he might sometimes complain and subconsciously ask the current Jin He:
Where did you take my Xiaohe?
This is one of the reasons why Jin He has always refused to get back together with him. He is afraid that the treatment process over the years has changed him drastically. He is afraid that he is no longer the Xiao He he used to be. He is afraid that he has become someone An Yi doesn't recognize. He is even more afraid that he will put on a mask again to meet An Yi's expectations.
The Jin He he liked must have always been confident and perfect from every angle.
But it's really tiring to always maintain perfection.
Lin Nian didn't sleep well that night. The next day in class, he asked about Jin He's situation. Because of his performance on stage, Jin He suddenly had some new fans online. The composition of these fans was obviously different from those who followed Chinese boy groups. Lin Nian felt that he needed to have a serious talk with Jin He.
“I think you still need to find an agent,” Lin Nian said. “You don’t have an agent right now, and no one helps you manage your fans. You also need to maintain your reputation in the industry. After the competition, you will still have to go on your schedule. You can’t be without an agent.”
Jin He listened with her head down, and offered her suggestion in a very weak tone: "But I can't find an agent at all right now, and the company has stopped taking care of me."
"Is your contract still with the company?" Lin Nian realized this question only then, because the contracts of the others had long been terminated by the company. They had either gone out to start their own businesses or found better opportunities. He had thought that Xiao He had left the company three years ago.
"Yes," Jin He answered honestly, "that's why I came to participate in this program."
"Hmm...that is indeed a problem that needs to be addressed. Your contract expires next year, right? Have you found another job yet?"
Under Lin Nian's expectant gaze, Jin He slowly shook his head.
"You haven't found another job yet, so what are you planning to do after your contract expires?" Lin Nian asked. "No one will be taking on gigs for you anymore, so how will you make a living?"
Jin He shook his head again and said, "I have some savings now, which should be enough for me to live until I die."
Lin Nian: "..."
"What did you say?"
“I told you I saved some money in the past two years, and I even saved up Xiao Miao’s dowry. I should be able to live until I die.” Jin He, seeing Lin Nian’s face growing increasingly pale, tried to salvage the situation in a low voice, “Well, I’ve already inquired. A decent nursing home in China costs 50,000 yuan a year. I can pay for five years now, and after five years I should be able to…”
Lin Nian finally couldn't take it anymore, slammed her hand on the table, and yelled at him, "Jin He!"
Jin He trembled at his shout and looked up at him pitifully.
"You, you, at such a young age! How can you have such pessimistic thoughts? You're only twenty-five years old!"
Lin Nian was truly angry this time. Even if Jin He were to continue his reckless behavior and insist on singing and dancing on stage for four hours straight, Lin Nian would at most scold him for being arrogant. But now he actually dared to say such a thing!
He never intended to live long!
No wonder he rejected An Yi several times!
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