Confession
Princess Feng had a son, and Lady Xue had many children, so the imperial concubine in the palace often summoned the wives and concubines of the prince's mansion.
When Prince Qing's Mansion fell into decline, the Imperial Concubine summoned the daughter-in-law into the palace, but it was certainly not to talk about the fictitious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The Guo family wanted to wipe out all the descendants of the saints and uproot them.
The powerful and wealthy in the upper nine classes are the best at attacking others in despicable ways, and the powerful and wealthy in the lower nine classes are the best at using despicable means.
I was young and insignificant at that time, and I secretly knew that people could be killed but not humiliated.
I am a concubine's daughter whose background is unknown to the adults. The princess and the lady are noble ladies with high ranks in the imperial book.
The cries of bastards were pouring down from Chang'an City. Even a little kid like me couldn't resist them, let alone the two concubines in the palace.
The humiliation and coercion used by the palace are bound to be a thousand times more vicious than those used by the mistress of the Yan family.
Autumn goes and winter comes, spring comes but the remaining winter does not go away.
The Li family of Chang'an has become the Guo family of Chang'an.
During that period, that half year, I couldn't stand hearing the drum announcing the dawn in Chang'an City.
At dawn, the drums stopped beating and a new day began. Someone came from the palace to "invite" the princess and her husband into the palace.
The princess went in and out several times, but fortunately, everything was safe and sound every time, so I gradually let down my guard.
Just when I was feeling a little relieved, one afternoon, Mrs. Xue came out of Taiji Palace. The emperor's grandson, who was seven or eight months old in her belly, was toyed with and threatened by the imperial concubines in the palace, and the fetus died in her womb.
Upon hearing the tragic news, Prince Qing slammed the table and cried twice. After he was done crying, he raised his wine glass again, drank to relieve his sorrow, and did not stop until he was drunk.
The north and south of Chang'an City were reversed, the king forgot the ancestors of the Li family, and finally surrendered to the outer city.
The Huihui princess was summoned to the palace, Li San hid, Li Liu avoided trouble, Le Yang was looked after by Mrs. Tong, the prince was reading at the desk, and I sat on the mat, looking through the chess records left by Ru Di, waiting for the queen to return.
I looked at the chessboard, each square and each block, and saw that it was neatly balanced with many rules. It looked like Chang'an, but I didn't like it.
After doing it many times and spending a lot of time, I actually learned to write down and memorize the music scores when I had nothing to do.
I remember it was a winter day, the sky was clear, the wind was lazy and the clouds were lazy.
The princess entered the palace early in the morning and returned home safely shortly afterwards, but her face showed a weariness that I had never seen before.
I guessed that something was wrong in the palace, and the prince knew it too, so neither he nor I dared to leave the princess's side.
The empress kept her eyes open, as if she didn't see us at all. She took off her rings, loosened her hair bun, took off her outer garment, and brought a low stool. I don't know where she picked up a piece of thin silk.
The princess threw the silk onto the beam, wrapped it around, and tied a loose, but not dead, noose.
The imperial concubine rewarded the princess with silks and satins, but the palace maid mistakenly took the white silk to show others. The imperial concubine teased the princess to see her surprised and frightened, and even more to see her kneel down and beg for mercy. This was the method used by Guo in the palace.
The princess stood on a low stool, clutching the "murder weapon" in both hands. She lowered her eyes and said to the prince, "He Nu, go and ask your father, who is living a life of drunkenness and dreaming and has lost his fighting spirit, to come here."
After saying this, I knew that the princess had no intention of dying, but I still held on to her dress tightly.
The king came over drunk and staggered. Seeing the princess trying to commit suicide, he suddenly sobered up a little. Instead of stopping her, he sat down at the table, looking at the chess game on the board and tapping the chess pieces. After a long while, he stood up and asked, "Princess, what do you mean?"
The princess did not answer.
"Can't bear the insults in the palace?"
"To die to prove one's resolve and save face?"
"Or are you using the dead body to persuade me to fight?" the king said to himself.
"The Guo family is so powerful. How can a mere prince like me compete with them? My heart... has long been broken. If the princess wants to die, I will not stop her."
The princess got down from the stool and left Liao Ling behind. The sadness and confusion on her face disappeared without a trace.
"The Li family has been around for a hundred years. The saint generously gave away the vast mountains and rivers to the Guo family. Your Majesty, do you also want to hand over the ancestral foundation?"
If Prince Qing cannot be awakened, the princess still has the crown prince. The crown prince is too weak to do anything, and the princess will absolutely not give up her life.
In the blink of an eye, I only heard her say: "Crane slave, cat slave, don't learn from your grandfather to abandon yourselves!"
Before he had finished speaking, I heard the prince's hearty laughter. He cleared the smell of alcohol, and his eyes, once tainted by it, became sharp. The king spoke sternly and bluntly, "How can a man who is willing to abandon himself to violence and weakness be the ruler of the world? How can the Li Dynasty allow the barking and barking of cats and dogs in the outer city?"
The prince stayed indoors, living a life of drunkenness and dreams. Everything was a false illusion to deceive the saint and Guo.
The king’s words are not only to reassure the princess, but also to teach me.
Since then, I have been indifferent to the word "bastard", but I have become more and more "concerned" with it in my heart.
The prince was deserted by his friends and relatives, and the princess endured humiliation and finally died together.
Princess Qing bowed to the king, who lifted her up and said, "You and I have been together for twenty years by imperial decree, and today, we are finally husband and wife."
On this day, Prince Qing and Princess Qing got to see the other person's true face.
On that day, I saw clearly the Prince Li whom I hated, and I saw clearly the Prince Qing and Princess Qing whom I respected and loved. Similarly, I also saw my own true face.
Under the princess's gilded hair, behind the prince's short beard and sword-like eyebrows, the prince's cold moon and white jade, and I am as beautiful as an ice-faced peach.
The four people present were purple, green, scarlet and red, and their eyes were all cold and fierce.
They look different, but their hearts are the same, and they all harbor the wolfish ambition of being unwilling to be slaves or ministers.
No one with a disloyal heart is cold.
What is heaven? I long for heaven.
Why should I fear Heaven? I fear Heaven.
Chang'an City does not like me, and I don't want to know it.
It was also on that day that I recognized the Taiji Palace in Chang'an City and saw the Li family clearly.
All the princes, generals and ministers abandoned Prince Qing's palace.
On the surface, only the Yan family remains, and they will be together in life and death.
My nominal father fell ill due to exhaustion for Prince Qing. The princess repeatedly advised me to go home and take care of my sick father, and I had to obey.
After staying in the palace for two years, I also understood the rules of the Li Dynasty, understood the twists and turns, and became more aware of the survival methods of the aristocratic families.
Chang'an City is straight and straight, with 108 wards, and only two words are written on each horizontal and vertical line: power and profit.
My biological mother is the descendant of a criminal. She was punished to be a slave in the palace since she was young. Concubine Guo did not like her and gave her to Prince Qing's Mansion. My biological mother had a bad temper, and Concubine Xue did not like her, and she was not favored by the king.
Prince Qing sent it to the Yan family, but the mistress was unhappy with it. She kept it in her room for a few days and then gave it to her grandfather.
Back and forth, I became a bastard.
The Yan family is a century-old prestigious family, and their wealth and status surpass that of the Emperor's Li family. Despite this, they are still not as glorious as the Zheng family of the mistress's family, which has been prosperous for thousands of years.
Sharing life and death with Prince Qing's Mansion, my lord is loyal as a minister, not only for Prince Qing, but also for the Yan family.
The gentlemen did not protect me when I was born, and they did not dare to offend their mistress and refused to say a word in my defense. When my mistress humiliated and mistreated me, they just let me go and ignored me completely, claiming they were busy.
The mistress poured all her resentment onto me alone, and I, a bastard, dragged down my Shanhua as well.
They each have their own difficulties and sufferings.
No one cares about my sadness, and I can't even complain.
Although the mistress is hateful, the grandfather and father are clearly the most hateful!
That day, I returned to Yan's house. When my father saw me, he didn't raise his eyes, but just casually called me Shuang Niang.
My nominal father doesn't care about me, and he only treats me as a cat or dog that he can let loose at will, calling me whatever he wants.
Frost Lady, Li Nu, Winter Boy, Flower in the Snow, Leng Yuesheng... these are all the names he calls me.
I don't like any of these.
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