Confession
Huayang Anyang and I hold hands, sing during the day and sleep together at night, we are close and inseparable.
We wore the same clothes, put on the same jewelry, carried the same shoulder bag, and never slacked off, always going to the study in the palace.
Little did they know that if no one worked hard, the three of them would not be able to put the four treasures of the study in their backpacks, and they would not be able to smell the fragrance of paper and ink.
Huayang, no need to study.
She said, she is the county lady, the daughter of the royal family, the royal descendant of the Li family, and there are people to serve her whenever she raises her leg or stretches out her hand. Why should she bother with this hardship?
I don’t like reading.
I started learning late, and I am stupid and dull, not hardworking. Moreover, a square character is straight and straight like the Suzaku Street in Chang'an City.
It is square and has four directions, like a window, a door, a tombstone, a coffin, and also like the market square of Chang'an city.
I don't like the rules and regulations that confine children to black and white words and also confine me to the house.
Anyang, can't study.
When she turned the page of a book, the desk became her bed, the inkstone became her pillow, and the sound of the high platform became her quilt. She mumbled halfway through the book and fell asleep before she even started reading.
The three of us went into the study every day and always sat at the last seat.
It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you don't read and learn to read.
While the schoolmaster was teaching, Huayang polished her jeweled mirror, painted her eyebrows and eyes in the light, and occasionally flashed the teacher's eyes.
The gentleman dared not say anything to her.
Huayang is the eldest daughter of Prince Qing and the most favored by her grandfather. She says this every day, and she is not exaggerating. I see Prince Qing in the Ruren Courtyard more often than I see my grandfather.
Princess Huayang was favored by Prince Qing.
The school official taught me, and I picked out colored threads for knitting, for fear that the cocoons left by shooting would scratch the silk, and that the bright colors would not suit the cloth. If the teacher came to see me, I would often ask him to help me thread the needle.
Sir, you help me.
Because of my father's generation and my elder brothers, Prince Qing indulged me a lot, and Princess Qing also pampered me for decades.
When the school official was giving a lecture, the children in Anyang were celebrating their wedding. When the school official was answering their questions, the children in Anyang were clamoring for a divorce.
Anyang was born cute and adorable, and everyone loved her. How could the teacher have the heart to punish her?
The teacher didn't dare to discipline us, and the princess often took time out of her busy schedule to ask us about our homework.
We hesitated and had no confidence to answer.
I didn't like to read and write, so the princess blamed Rudi. I was a skinned bastard and couldn't see Rudi's dilemma.
Ru Di tried various ways to persuade me to learn more, but I refused to listen.
I've been at Prince Qing's Mansion for three months, and I can only write a few names.
It turns out that the Hua in Huayang is the Hua in Shanhua, and the Xiang in Axiang is not the Xiang in Xiangwang. The good thing is that Axiang is hardworking and knows more words than me.
Mrs. Tong was a girl from Hunan named Youlan. She was good at Hunan embroidery. She had worked in the Clothing Department of the Shangfu Bureau and served as a female official. Because of her beautiful appearance, good character and gentle nature, she was given by the sage to be a wife to Prince Qing.
The lady had worked as a slave and an official before, and she knew very well that it was useless for girls to study. Even if a girl studied hard, she would not be able to become the top scholar in the imperial examination and could not become a saint.
For a girl, her background is the most important, and marriage is second.
Shanhua was a palace maid, Youlan was a female official, my eldest brother taught me how to draw the bow and shoot arrows, my aunt taught me how to plate gold and roll needles, and my mother taught me how to make seed chains.
The lady once told me that when I grow up a little, she would ask the princess to choose a good man for me in Chang'an City.
I didn't respond.
It’s not that I’m too young to understand.
I don't like Chang'an City because everyone here knows my background. I also don't like Luoyang City because Luoyang is the ancestral home of the Yan family and also my hometown. People there also know my background.
I don’t like the Heavenly Capital Chang’an, the Divine Capital Luoyang, the Taiji Palace, and the Taichu Palace.
If we didn't go to the study for two or three days, the lady never criticized us. If we couldn't read and didn't review our lessons, the lady never forced us.
The lady loved us very much. If we didn't want to study, we wouldn't study. If the princess asked, she would find excuses to cover up for us.
The prince favored us, and the lady protected us. This happened once, twice, and over time, the princess became so busy that she simply stopped caring about our studies and let us do whatever we wanted.
One day, the teacher spoke of the teacher, and Huayang spoke of Huayang.
She said that she liked Confucian generals like Yan Jia Dalang.
The eldest son of the Yan family is my elder brother. He taught me riding and shooting, and also taught the prince and princess of Prince Qing’s mansion.
Huayang said that my elder brother was good-looking, but with his hat on and beard growing, I couldn’t tell whether he was handsome or ugly from the front.
Huayang asked me who I like, and I said I like Shanhua.
She called me stupid and foolish.
I asked Anyang again, and Anyang was dressing the baby and said that she liked a man like her older brother.
When people asked her why, Anwar said that the older brother was like her doll.
Huayang smiled proudly, "Among the noble families in Yongfufang and the princes and nobles in Chang'an City, the most handsome and elegant one is the Crown Prince of Qing..."
It is also said that the prince is handsome and elegant, as bright as the sun and the moon.
I still couldn't see it, I just felt that Huayang was exaggerating.
Huayang praised her elder brother in class, and when she came out of the study and met the prince by chance, she ran away faster than a colt.
Boys and girls in Prince Qing’s mansion do not study together.
Huayang is afraid of Princess Qing, the Crown Prince resembles his mother, and Huayang is afraid of the Crown Prince.
I deeply hate Prince Li, so naturally I have to flee with Huayang.
In an instant, Anyang was the only one left there. When she saw her favorite big brother, she walked up to him with the doll in her arms. She showed her favorite doll to her favorite big brother.
The prince talked to Anyang, but after a sentence or two, they ran out of things to talk about, so the brother listened to his sister reciting poems.
My ears and eyes were still sharp at that time, and I could only hear Anyang mumbling in the distance, with his teeth missing from behind his lips, "In the ninth year of Yonghe, the orioles are singing, and the beautiful lady is in the year of Guichou. The way of the university is to harvest in autumn and store in winter..."
Huayang and I looked at each other silently, not daring to show our heads.
After six sentences, Anyang could no longer recite the gibberish. She felt the pressure and ran to find us crying, holding the baby, "Sister, sister..."
Anyang experienced the power of the prince, and since then, he never said such nonsense as liking his older brother again.
The prince never came after us, but only left a message saying that he was unlearned and unskillful, and gave it to us three.
The unlearned and unskillful person described by Prince Qing is no different from the bastard described by Mistress Yan.
The royal family is most concerned about reputation. The nobles have a smooth life, but their hearts are fragile and their bodies are weak, and they cannot bear the slightest humiliation.
The Yan family is a century-old prestigious family, but I was born at the foot of the imperial city and grew up in a wealthy town with gold and silver shops, but I live like a shameful stink bug in my heart.
I have no reason not to hate, and no reason to hate.
We are naturally uneducated and unskilled, and precisely because the three of us are uneducated and unskilled, we only know the prince's anger but not his intentions.
We didn't pay attention to it, but the lady cared about it very much.
Youlan was worried and couldn't eat or drink. Huayang and I knelt down together with Anyang and invited her to have a meal.
The lady had lived in the palace and was well aware of the royal grace and power.
Prince Qing is Prince Qing, and the Crown Prince is the Crown Prince; they must not be confused.
If Prince Qing can inherit the great cause of his ancestors one day, the Prince Qing will be honored.
Half-siblings are, after all, brothers from different mothers.
It’s you, not my brother.
The Empress Dowager, the Dowager Consort, the Empress, the Imperial Consort, the Princess, the County Princess, the Princess Consort, the Royal Wife, the Official's Wife, the Lady of the Imperial Court... they offended the Saint and offended the Heavenly Family. The Emperor was furious and frightened.
Mother was worried, so we knelt down and swore that we would never contradict or disobey the prince in our lives. Only then did Mother feel a little relieved.
From then on, whenever the three of us saw the prince, we were like red fish seeing a white cat, hiding in the pink lotus, green water lilies and black mud.
Living under the same roof, we feel like we are separated by mountains and oceans.
Do not see or touch.
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