Confession
My father repeatedly called me closer, and I took a few steps as I listened to his voice.
"come over……"
The adult held the knife, the sharp tip of the knife, and pointed it at his so-called "daughter".
The dagger fell on the desk.
He had been running around and working tirelessly for the king and the throne of the Li family. He was exhausted and too sick to lift a dagger.
My nominal father summoned me to cut his finger so that he could write a confession in blood, using it to express his true feelings and to confess his defeat and plead with my uncle in Luoyang...
My father and uncle were very close brothers when they were young.
He traveled to Chang'an, played in Luoyang, enjoyed himself in Xingyang, and rejoiced in Ruyang, and he was with me for twenty years.
Until the two of them entered officialdom when they were young, one of them chose King Qing and the other chose King Xiang.
From that moment on, the brotherhood ended.
When political enemies meet, they are neither brothers nor sisters, and they wish to pull out each other's bones and peel off each other's skin.
In the early years, my uncle was loyal to the Prince Xiang's Mansion.
Prince Xiang was granted the title of Crown Prince because his mother was favored.
Prince Guo was cowardly and incompetent by nature. He followed the orders of the imperial concubine and relatives in everything. He had to consult his maternal uncle first, and then his wife's father, for both big and small matters. He had no idea what to do.
Although he has the dignity of a prince, he does not have the ability of a king.
Concubine Mother, Maternal Relatives, Privy Wife, Favored Concubine, Powerful Eunuchs, Eunuchs and Slaves... You have to count on both hands before you can get to Yan Qing.
The Taiji Palace leans towards one side in every way, but the Prince Xiang’s Mansion still cannot overwhelm the Prince Qing’s Mansion.
He wrongly supported a meek ruler, but failed to find a wise ruler, and was not valued by the king. Just before I was born, my uncle put on a jade crown and a green robe, became a Taoist, and left Chang'an for Luoyang.
It's an old story, so naturally I don't know anything about it.
These were all told to me by my elder brother.
I held the knife, and my father opened his palm. He ordered me to bleed, "Cut..."
Before I could finish my words, the dagger in my hand had already cut through his flesh.
In an instant, blood spurted out of his palm, and his sickly face looked even more pale. Seeing that I raised my knife and struck, the master was not afraid at all, and actually shouted, "Li Nu, you are my daughter!"
Is this an insult or a compliment?
The master was about to die, and before he died, he left behind these words.
It's too late to remember me when you are dying.
He pretends to be a good grandfather who understands the big picture and wants to trick me into being his good and obedient daughter, asking me to remember his kindness for the rest of my life?
I will not be deceived, nor will I be deceived by his effortless tricks.
If I... could cut his neck, blood would surely flow out immediately.
Even though I was feeling impatient, my expression remained the same.
I don't understand what he wrote with his crimson pen, and I don't want to study it in detail.
My father was very ill and his death was prolonged.
My brother said that he would not live for that long. He only had one breath left, but he was holding on and enduring, waiting for his uncle in Luoyang to come back.
A few days later, my uncle returned to Chang'an, returned to Yongfufang, and returned to the Yan family.
That day, my father was dying, and there were not many members of the Yan family left.
Prince Qing, Princess Qing, and Crown Prince Qing are all here.
After my father met my uncle and made arrangements for his funeral, he closed his eyes and died without taking a breath.
My father knelt before my uncle, confessed his fault, and begged him to sacrifice his life to assist Prince Qing. He also ordered my brother to order the Yan family to swear allegiance to the palace until death. Then he prayed to Prince Qing and his wife, saying, "The princess should become the Queen of Heaven, and my master should become a saint!"
My father often neglected his blood relatives of the Yan clan, but he was loyal to his master and shed his blood for him.
My father is seriously ill and I hope he dies soon.
Now that he is dead, there will be one less person in this world, in Chang'an City, who knows my life story.
But before he died, his last look was towards me.
My father looked at me, and because of him, everyone looked at me.
Shanhua, Ruren, and the princess treat me like their own daughter. They are rare kind-hearted people, and they are mostly for their kindness.
The rest all depends on the face of the Yan family. I benefited from the help of my grandfather and father.
My resentment is born from kindness, and my brother’s kindness is drowned in resentment.
When they were about to die, they left behind some warm and life-giving things, and they wanted me to be grateful and respect my father and brother?
If I am reasonable, I will be doing myself a disservice, but if I am unreasonable, then I deserve the name of a bastard.
It’s not right to blame, and it’s not right not to blame.
The world is full of difficulties and there are many sufferings in the world.
People don’t see my pain, my suffering is meaningless.
I really can't complain or complain.
My grandfather died. I wasn't sad or shed tears. I hated him.
When my father died, I was not sad and I never shed a tear, but I still hated him.
At that time, I thought that perhaps only on the day of my death could I gain true innocence and liberation.
My father had just passed away, so my brother resigned from his official position and returned home to mourn.
The Yan family temporarily avoided the tyranny of the Guo family. It is not so much that they avoided it, but rather that the Guo family was in power and disdained to go against Nixia.
The Prince Qing's Mansion was like a lost dog, and the Yan family was even more like fish on the chopping board.
The entire Li Dynasty prostrated itself at the feet of the Guo family.
How could the nobles of Chang'an, who rode horses in the streets, drank and played ball, and played in the Taiji Palace, have imagined that the subservient Yongfufang was sharpening swords and drawing bows, and that a brutal massacre to exterminate all nine generations of their clan was waiting for them.
The achievements of hundreds of generations are the result of hard work.
The Qing Palace wanted to fight to the death with the Heavenly Palace, but the Yan family insisted on their own way and swore allegiance until death.
In the power struggle, I am involved and yet not involved in it. In the past, I could only see most of it but could not fully understand it.
It was not until the early spring when I was eleven years old that Ah Xiang and I walked along Suzaku Road and looked at the city of Chang'an that had stood for a hundred years. My veil was blown up by the wind, and there were waves of commotion on Suzaku Street. It was the prince's crane flying across the street.
The Marquis of Wu led the way, the Jinwu were as small as beans, the eunuchs scolded, and the soldiers suppressed.
The people knelt down, not allowed to raise their eyes or move their bodies.
The people were like a fan, folding again and again, raising dust and ashes, and all the people bowed down.
No sweat can fall, no gas can be released, in short, the majesty is unmistakable.
Seeing is believing; experiencing is worse than hearing.
The prince's carriage slowly passed by. We knelt and bowed our heads. The carriages and horses rumbled by. All that rang in my ears was my father's last words before he died: "Winners will be kings, losers will be bandits, there's only one word!"
That is, success!
The country is rich and the people are beautiful, with a foundation that will last for thousands of years, fame and honor for generations, and a life as long as the sky.
Who doesn’t want to become a saint, rule the world, and have people kneel down to him?
The winner is the king and the loser is the bandit. If you succeed, you are the king; if you fail, your entire family will be buried with you.
The whole world is a lure, the people are bait, even if they die or are defeated, there are still countless people willing to follow.
The morning mist rises in Vermillion Bird, and drums sound in the streets of Heaven.
I remember that it was an ordinary spring day, and since it was neither a festival nor a holiday, it was extremely common.
The sky brightens and Chang'an wakes up.
I drew my bow and shot through the brittle rock, startling a crane which flew away. Two cranes were kept in Prince Qing's mansion. The male had already left, so I took out my arrow and drew my bow, intending to startle another female.
The arrowhead missed the ground, startling the female bird, which then followed the male crane.
Two cranes left the palace, circling with their cries, and flew into the sky.
The person who is one step slower than me is the prince, and the person who shoots an arrow before me is also the prince.
Arrows flew by, cranes flew in the sky, the prince passed through the hall, and I also went east and west.
I happened to meet him and passed by him without saying a word.
Two cranes soared into the sky, flew out of Prince Qing's Mansion and headed straight for Taiji Palace.
Everyone in Prince Qing’s palace heard it, but the city of Chang’an was still visible.
Many people in later generations remembered it.
From that day on, when people talked about the two cranes in Prince Qing's palace, the winners regarded it as a blessing from heaven, while the losers regarded it as a ghost or monster.
It was on this day that the eldest prince of the emperor plotted rebellion, and the father and son of Prince Qing started an uprising.
Mutiny, palace coup.
The Change of Shuanghe.
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