Not white
Five years is a long time, three years is not short.
Wang Yicheng of the Eastern Palace submitted a memorial to the new emperor, requesting that he replace three years with three months. The new emperor declined. The royal ministers submitted memorials many times, but the new emperor remained silent and handed over full authority to the empress dowager.
Saint Li did not agree, but Empress Dowager Feng agreed.
I have nothing to say.
On the day the Crown Prince ascended the throne, I changed clothes for the new emperor.
The Eastern Palace ascended the throne safely and securely, something that hadn't happened in a hundred years.
I dare say that that day was the happiest day for the saint since his birth.
"Today, I am extremely happy," the new emperor told me. "Unfortunately, without the imperial seal and the fish token, I cannot say or do anything I want to do. Nothing can go as I wish..."
Without the jade seal and the fish token, the new emperor can humiliate me however he wants.
If he were to seize control of the military and the country and monopolize power, I don't know how he would find ways to harm me.
"Why are you unhappy?"
Your Majesty asked me.
I replied, "Happy and not happy, half happy and half unhappy."
Xinjun asked.
I was crowning the saint, and I also wanted to test him, so I said, "In the past, when the princess spoke or behaved improperly, Your Highness often blamed me. Today, if Your Majesty is lacking in anything, the imperial court, the front court, and the harem will all hold me accountable for my faults."
My tone was humble, and my words were full of questions.
Unexpectedly, Xinjun's eyebrows lifted and he held my hand tightly, laughing again and again, "You have to beg me not to make mistakes. If so, this is... very good..."
Xinjun laughed happily, and I didn't even feel half as happy anymore. He laughed so happily, but I was afraid that in his heart, he didn't know how to humiliate me.
Taiji Palace has a new king, and it won’t be long before the wedding and the queen are crowned.
The Empress Dowager selects female officials in the palace, and the Emperor selects talented women in the court.
Queen Mother, the Holy One has selected female officials to present an invitation to the new queen.
The quarrel between mother and son in Taiji Palace started with a female official in Lizheng Palace.
Power can only be held in the hands of one person, and the world can only be held in the arms of one person.
The female protagonist, the male monarch, and the Taiji Palace can only have one monarch from beginning to end.
I...will not offend either side. No matter who comes, I will accept them one by one, give a high position to Xingqing Palace and a low position to Yongle Palace, give an important position to Yongle Palace and a nominal position to Xingqing Palace.
It is not good to favor one over the other and spill the water in your hands.
The unique fragrance from the East Palace drifted along the palace path and into the Yongle Palace.
That day, the new emperor was studying a book, and I was practicing calligraphy at the desk. It was not my wish, but the new emperor's interrogation and coercion.
Seeing His Majesty closing his eyes and taking a nap, I smelled the fragrance and fell asleep inadvertently.
In that dream, I seemed to have slept for a very long time. After this dream, it seemed as if everything was floating in the chaos of the old dream...
When I woke up, Xinjun was looking at me, staring at me, his face pressed against my eyes. We were only a thin sheet of paper apart, close enough to kiss. Our eyelashes met, preventing us from being entangled in each other, an endless entanglement, a blur.
At that moment, I thought... maybe, He Nu has always been gentle, and it was me who was afraid and disgusted with him, and mistakenly regarded everything as harshness.
This time, before Xinjun pushed anyone, I dodged first.
Your Majesty, of course you don’t want to kiss me. He lowered his eyes, took the paper from the table, held it in his hand, and read it again and again.
Wen Run immediately turned stern again, "A Yan, you haven't known me for many years. Is it unintentional or careless?"
Xinjun saw through my unintentional behavior at a glance, and I did not hesitate to show my indifference.
"Even if you don't work hard on the position of Queen, there are still people who are willing to work hard!"
The saint was furious and could no longer bear it, so he finally spoke his true feelings.
The emperor was angry.
The female officials, palace maids and palace servants all entered the hall and knelt on the ground, and I was the first to bow.
The saint spoke harshly, and I knelt down to beg for mercy, with nothing to say.
Although the dethronement and enthronement of the queen has something to do with me, I have no influence over it.
As I walked out of the Yongle Hall, two lines of tears flowed freely.
My tears dried up long ago after Shanhua, my brother, and the late emperor passed away...
She cried, of course, for the palace maids to see, not because she felt wronged after being scolded.
Eunuch Zhu chased me out and kept chattering in my ear, refusing to stop.
"Although the Lord's words were harsh, and my lady is not entirely without fault, please write those three words clearly, stroke by stroke, and remember them in your heart from now on, so that the Saint will not find any mistakes..."
"That's the saint of the Heavenly Family, and also the young master of the Li Family. Madam, why don't you coax him a little more and give in to the one inside? Will you just give in? Even if you're not convinced in your heart, you have to keep it up on the surface. If this happened to someone else, they would have lost their lives in the southern suburbs long ago, and that's you, my lady..."
I wished my father-in-law would consider me, and I agreed to all of them while crying.
As soon as I nodded in agreement, he withdrew and never saw me again.
I didn't ask anyone to follow me, not even Ah Xiang. I walked alone, passed the Lizheng Hall, came to the edge of Donghai Lake, and stopped.
Some people are willing to be queen, while others are not.
The position of queen is tiring, difficult, hot, short-lived and dangerous.
The one in the palace thinks about it day and night, but I don't really want to.
After all, the new emperor did this for Madam Feng.
In the previous dynasty, there was a saint in power, so the prince always had concerns.
In this dynasty, the queen became the empress dowager, and the prince became the new emperor, and the world became the treasure in the hands of them.
Even under the majesty of the king, a mother can still be kind and her son can be filial.
In the face of true power, family ties are nothing at all.
My father and brother had not yet turned to bones when the late emperor passed away, but the sage had already cast the Yan family behind him and forgotten them completely.
The new king had neither a military fish token nor an heirloom imperial seal.
How dare you divorce me for such a trivial matter!
From the beginning to the end, I was humiliated again and again. Maybe I shouldn't have been born and polluted the eyes of the current emperor, or was it revenge for his wife Feng?
There is so much mixing in there that I can't tell the difference.
Because of my interference, he couldn't make his beloved wife the queen. I'm afraid he has hated me in his heart for a long time.
In the past in the palace, the imperial concubine relied on her favor and behaved disrespectfully towards the princess. At that time, the saint was gone, and the imperial concubine had five sons, but none of them sat on the throne.
The winner takes all, and this also applies to the Xue family.
Empress Feng was wise and magnanimous. She tolerated the imperial concubine silently for twenty years.
There are no living Bodhisattvas in Taiji Palace.
The imperial concubine now receives instruction from the empress dowager every day, and the ruler of the world is taking revenge on the imperial concubine Xue of the previous dynasty for the old grudges.
No woman is born magnanimous. If the imperial concubine's son succeeded to the throne today, the queen's situation would be a thousand times more miserable than that of the imperial concubine today.
I observe the previous dynasty and get a glimpse of the present dynasty.
Just based on the new emperor's feelings towards Madam Feng, Concubine Xue's suffering today will be my pain tomorrow.
The late emperor couldn’t stop it, the empress dowager couldn’t stop it, and my uncle who is the prime minister couldn’t stop it either.
My uncle is already old. He keeps shaking his whisk, taking pills and medicines. I don’t know how long he can live. How can he stop the new emperor?
I can't stop it either. Tolerating and giving in may not be of any use.
I didn't let Madam Feng go in the past, and Concubine Feng won't let me go in the future either.
At this moment, Rudi recovered from her illness, and I don’t know why, but my heart for Feng Rusu will live forever.
It's not for Ru Di anymore. I just want her to die, but I can't tell you what crime she committed.
I won't let Feng Rusu go, and Madam Feng will certainly not let me go.
The saint is ruthless, and the queen mother may not be affectionate either.
The Empress Dowager favors me simply because among all the women in the world, no one is more loyal to her than I am.
Queen Mother, Saint.
Mother, husband.
If I show even the slightest favor towards the new emperor, the old friendship between me and my mother will be gone in an instant, and everything will be gone...
The sage does not have a fish token or a jade seal. If he wants to take power, it will take more than three to five years.
But if I turn to the new king now, I will bring disgrace upon myself, and it will be too late.
Being so cautious every day, guarding against this and appeasing that, and serving carefully all the way, is really not good for my life.
Since you can't win, you might as well just let it go and get away.
I took out the half jade disk given to me by the late emperor, which represented the saint.
Why should you give me everything that is broken, torn, missing, and I don’t want?
Why should I avoid He Nu when I have the same name as him instead of him avoiding me?
I am the descendant of a meritorious official. I have been humiliated by him from beginning to end and imprisoned in this Taiji Palace where there is neither life nor death.
He was the ruler of the world, but he could not make his beloved woman his queen as he wished.
Pity, the only thing I have ever won over He Nu is pity.
I threw the jade disc into the East China Sea Lake as easily as I threw the jade talismans of the two princes.
Half of the jade wall fell into the water, and I followed it into the water. At that moment, I heard countless shouts from far behind me.
There are many beautiful women in Chang'an, all of whom can become queens. Who can I compare with?
I am just a close relative and have benefited from the glory of my father, brother and family.
Whether it is Dongdu or Xidu, one more or one less of me doesn’t make much difference. I am just a dispensable person.
It was late autumn, not winter, but the lake water was very cold.
The reason why the queen was able to become the queen mother and hold all the power was only because she gave birth to a good son who inherited the throne smoothly.
If I pray to the new king for a child, he will probably push me into the mud. I can't force him with a sword, right?
The royal family wants to inherit the throne.
In this Taiji Palace, if you don’t have children, you are inferior!
A woman's beauty, wisdom, generosity and propriety are not as important as a belly that can give birth to a son.
But I will never live my life for a son who does not exist and whose existence is still unknown.
I am not as good as the saint, and the saint is not as good as I am. So why should we tie them together and make things difficult for each other?
I have ambition but no favor. Sooner or later, I will cry with Ah Xiang, a prisoner of Chu. I might as well take this opportunity to withdraw and escape from Taiji Palace.
It's better than being treated like a polo ball by the Donggong couple, playing around and kicking it around.
A palace wall is the home of Taiji Palace mother and son, and it is also my court.
The king is no longer a human being.
How can the illusory divine power compete with the imperial power that is so close at hand?
The imperial family is the most ruthless. Rather than sitting back in glory and suffering, it is better to be a discarded pawn who has lost power.
If I force myself to stay in the palace and become an eyesore, it won't be as simple as being imprisoned in the palace.
Fangling, Qianzhou, Lingnan, and Yazhou are all waving at me. It is possible that a saint can strangle them and kill them.
No matter how cold the lake water is, it is not colder than the eyes of the new king.
I was in power and arrogant at that time, but now, considering the cause and effect, I am not wronged.
The deeper I went, the farther I went. I couldn't touch the half jade disc, but only a sharp stone. I remembered what my enemy, Li Sanlang, had said: With my appearance ruined, how could I ascend to the throne?
The sharp stone, for some unknown reason, made me scratch my hair downwards. I used all my strength, fearing that the scar would not be deep or long enough.
If you don't want to lose face, you can't escape from this palace.
"One knife" went down, burning and bloody, I just wanted to stay away from Taiji Palace and leave Chang'an City.
This is a godsend opportunity. If you don't escape now, you will be squeezed for the rest of your life.
Listening to the cries of the palace servants, I closed my eyes and fell into the lake of Taiji Palace.
I took what little property I had left and bet that the Queen Mother would die first and the new Emperor would live a long life.
Unfortunately, I lost the bet, completely ruined, and have nothing left. Even if I hadn't gambled, even if I had to hide away to the ends of the earth, the tyrant emperor would never give up on me, even if he died...
Gambling means losing, fighting means losing, and running away also means losing. I can never win the royal power until I die, and I cannot escape death in the end.
I was self-righteous and clever, and uncovered the endless fighting in Taiji Palace and the lingering pain in Chang'an City. My nightmare really began from that moment.
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