131 · Chapter 131
That day, after Xiao Che came out of the dungeon, he returned to the Zichen Palace and entered the study. He saw Yan Xiao half-sitting on the desk. When he saw him, Yan Xiao straightened up, gently shook the wine jar in his hand, and said with a smile, "Here, I brought you the 'Spring Breeze Intoxication' you wanted."
Xiao Che glanced at him, walked straight to the desk and sat down, took the wine jar, grunted, and said, "Thank you."
After speaking, he opened the wine jar, raised it, and took a big gulp.
Only after swallowing the strong liquor did I feel a little relief from the frustration in my heart.
Yan Xiao raised an eyebrow, half-climbed on the table, leaned forward, looked at him with interest, and teased him, "You used to never drink, what, have you changed your ways now?"
"Alcohol can relieve a thousand sorrows, but it's just that when you're feeling down, drinking makes you feel a little better."
Feeling down? What's bothering you?
"If we're talking about the court, now all the officials believe you are Consort Jiang's son, and there are no more rumors of 'remnants of the previous dynasty.' Furthermore, because the Crown Prince and the Second Prince have successively lost their virtues, it makes your virtuous conduct stand out. In addition, considering the political achievements you have made before, no one dares to question your ascension to the throne."
“Even Cui Shoujie didn’t raise any objections this time. You have to know that the former empress was a member of the Cui family. Although she was from a collateral branch, she was still surnamed Cui. Naturally, he wanted his two cousins to ascend the throne. But then again, his two good-for-nothing cousins had committed such a crime. Even if he wanted to protect them, he probably wouldn’t have the face to do so.”
"Actually, since you decided to come back for revenge, your journey has been quite smooth. First, you recognized Cui Yan. Then, as you instructed, I spread rumors in the palace that I had seen Cui Yan on the day of the palace turmoil. I said he was a member of the rebels and of a high rank. When Xiao Jue heard the rumors, he panicked, fearing that Cui Yan's infiltration of the Maitreya Sect would be exposed and implicate him."
"He's so ruthless; he immediately sent men to kill Cui Yan. As you instructed, I kept a close watch on Cui Yan's every move for the past few days, and also had someone give him hints. He was on guard, and my men also sabotaged Xiao Jue's men from the shadows, forcing them to leave hastily after the assassination. That's how Cui Yan managed to survive the assassination attempt. Although he was injured, our men treated him in time. He was both disillusioned with Xiao Jue and grateful to us, so he confessed everything."
"Xiao Jue was careful in his correspondence with him, using the old seal. But even the best-laid plans can go wrong. The imperial edict was not delivered to the Eastern Palace in time, and the old seal was destroyed in a charade. This last letter used the new seal, which can be said to be a blessing from heaven, allowing us to catch his flaw."
"Afterwards, you told the Empress Dowager about the day you saw Xiao Jue cause the Emperor to have a stroke with silver needles in the Zichen Palace. She personally led people to the Zichen Palace to treat the Emperor and removed the silver needles from his body. After that, the Emperor was supported by the Empress Dowager in the Taiji Palace and came to expose Xiao Jue in front of everyone how he was full of benevolence and filial piety but was actually a disloyal, unjust and unfilial person behind the scenes."
"...Everything went just as you predicted. Things progressed very smoothly. Now you have achieved your wish and ascended the throne, fulfilling the last wish of the Imperial Concubine. What else do you have to worry about?"
Xiao Che frowned and said in a deep voice, "Who said I did this to fulfill her last wish? She treated me like that, why would I risk my life for her? I'm just seeking revenge for myself."
"Very well, it's not for the Imperial Concubine, it's for yourself. Then may I ask, Your Majesty, why are you so gloomy and trying to drown your sorrows in alcohol?"
"Tsk, let me guess, it's not that one from Chenghuan Palace again, is it?"
Xiao Che's hand, which was resting on the wine jar, suddenly tightened. He looked up and glared at Yan Xiao, coldly saying, "If you can't speak properly, then get out."
Yan Xiao, of course, wasn't going to leave. He leaned against him with a grin, nudged his shoulder with his elbow, and said, "So, what are you planning to do with her?"
Seeing Xiao Che lower his eyes and remain silent, he reached out and touched his chin, saying to himself, "Hiss, she's so ruthless, stabbing you in the vital spot with a knife, almost killing you. One life for one life, why not kill her? A quick and decisive action will give you peace of mind."
Without even thinking, Xiao Che blurted out, "No way!"
Yan Xiao: "?"
Xiao Che's Adam's apple bobbed, and he slowly lowered his eyelids: "She had no intention of killing me; Xiao Jue deceived her. She has already explained to me that since it was not her own intention, it doesn't count. She's just a little girl who isn't very bright to begin with, easily provoked and deceived. If I were to take her life, wouldn't I become a foolish ruler?"
That day in Chenghuan Palace, she talked to him at length. Perhaps it was because she hadn't seen him for so many days, and she had accumulated too many words. She had talked about those days when she couldn't see him over and over again in her heart. There was too much regret and too much self-blame. As soon as she saw him, she couldn't wait to pour out her heart to him.
The first thing she explained to him was the incident in the snow when she stabbed him in the vital spot: "...I thought...I thought that as long as I did that...I could cure the strange illness...It was Xiao Jue...Xiao Jue lied to me...Xiao Che, that day Ji Le invited me to the Bixian Pavilion, and I saw her embracing you there...You said many humiliating things to me...You said you never liked me...You were only with me to get revenge on me...to use me..."
“I’m in so much pain… I can’t accept that you don’t like me at all… At this moment, Xiao Jue said, ‘Actually, I don’t like you. I’m just like this because of the fox’s influence. As long as the strange illness is cured, I won’t be in so much pain…’”
“I was living a life worse than death at that time, desperately wanting to grasp at any straw, so I believed him. Subconsciously, I knew it was escapism, because as long as I convinced myself I didn't like him, then no matter how you viewed me, no matter how much you disliked me, you couldn't hurt me anymore. I know this might just be self-deception... but I had no other choice at that time... I couldn't go on living…”
"Later, in the Han Guang Palace, I found your embroidered handkerchief with the flower design... as well as notes with the names of Consort Jiang and Jia Wei... even Xiao Jue brought me a letter from my second brother, detailing how you schemed against him and how you caused Xiao Jue to fall from his horse... With all this evidence before my eyes, I have no choice but to believe that you would stop at nothing to seize the position of Crown Prince, and that you only used everyone around you, including me..."
Xiao Che felt his temples throbbing. He took a deep breath and said, "Why didn't you come and ask me if you doubted me? Yes, to avoid putting you in a difficult position and to protect your innocence, I never told you these things. But if you already have doubts, come and ask me, and I might explain to you. I did all this to avenge my mother and fulfill her last wish. In the end, I was just a pawn in her game, but that's another story."
"I've protected you too well, which is why you've become such a fool! You believe everything others say with just a few words of provocation. You should know that sometimes what you hear isn't necessarily true, and what you see isn't necessarily real. If you truly love me, how could you not believe me?"
"Do you remember back in Huaizhou, when your illness worsened, I made the antidote for you, which could be considered as repaying you with my body? In the heat of the moment, you made a vow to me, and I told you then that no matter what happened in the future, you must believe in me, love me, and never doubt me. You clearly promised then, but look at what you've done since then, when have you ever kept your promise?"
After being scolded by Xiao Che, Yan Jiarou was truly enlightened. She felt even more remorseful and couldn't help but shed tears, sobbing uncontrollably, "I was wrong, Xiao Che... I really know I was wrong this time... I'm sorry... It's my fault... I shouldn't have doubted you... I shouldn't have distrusted you..."
“You’re right, I was incredibly foolish. I was a complete joke… I mistook someone for someone else, loved the wrong person, was used, and even killed the person I loved most… It wasn’t until that strange illness was completely cured that I realized just how much I loved you… I loved you hopelessly, not because of the fox, but because of myself… I’ve always loved you… loved you so much…”
“Xiao Che…” she looked at him through teary eyes and said, “I already know, you were the one who saved me back then, why did you never say it…”
Xiao Che swallowed hard, and after a long pause, he suddenly laughed: "What? Does that mean you like whoever saved you? Didn't I say it? When you were little, I already said that I was the one who saved you, but you only believe what you see. The first person you saw when you woke up was Xiao Jue, so you decided that was him. Since you don't believe me, why should I say it again?"
Yan Jiarou cried even harder upon hearing this: "I'm sorry, Xiao Che... It's all my fault... I hate myself so much... I despise myself so much... That day, the snow was so heavy, and you built a snowman for me, but I said such hurtful things... But Xiao Che, that wasn't my intention... I've never looked down on you... I saw the ring you put on the snowman... I'm sorry... I betrayed your feelings... I don't deserve your love at all... How could I be so wicked? I never knew I could be so bad..."
Xiao Che frowned, feeling agitated: "Stop crying."
Now Yan Jiarou is very obedient in front of him. As soon as he speaks, she really manages to hold back her tears.
"Xiao Che... wouldn't you say we've... cleared up the misunderstanding?"
Xiao Che gave her a deep look, let out a very short laugh, and asked in return, "What do you think?"
Yan Jiarou's thick eyelashes trembled slightly, her thoughts in turmoil: "I..."
Xiao Che slowly bent down, his gaze level with hers.
"What, you think a few flimsy apologies are enough for me to forgive you? Misunderstandings can be cleared up, but what about the stab wound? The dead cannot be brought back to life. If that's really the case, what are you going to do?"
Yan Jiarou's clear black and white eyes instantly welled up with tears: "What... what can I do to make you feel better?"
Xiao Che merely frowned, his tone cold: "Think for yourself."
Yan Jiarou slowly withdrew her hand, lowered her eyes, and whispered, "I have no face to ask for your forgiveness again. I could be shameless before, but I know this time is different... I won't bother you anymore. Explaining things is just so that you can feel a little better after knowing the truth... to let you know that I've always liked you, and those things that hurt you weren't intentional... But you're right, this kind of apology is actually meaningless. I always wanted to do something for you..."
"But you don't care about my life. You said you wouldn't give me a way out. I think I can't die until you've had your last breath..."
"Then I think I'll be your nominal sister for the rest of my life, chanting sutras and praying for you every day in this palace, or perhaps I'll leave the palace and become a nun, spending my days with the ancient Buddha and the dim lamp. That might be more sincere. Whenever you want my life, you can come and take it. After all, I owe you my life..."
Xiao Che's eyebrow twitched slightly: "Sister? Nun?"
He lowered his voice and said patiently, "What are you saying, huh? Is that what you really think?"
Yan Jiarou kept her head down, oblivious to everything, and simply nodded slightly, continuing, "I am not good enough for you. Forget about our past, about love and hate, treat it all as a dream. When you think of me again in the future, do so with a light heart, and perhaps you will no longer feel the pain..."
"Now that you possess the world, there is no woman you cannot obtain."
...After the selection, you can choose any noble ladies you like who are a good match for you...or Cui Lingyi would be perfect; she comes from a noble family, is exceptionally beautiful, and even saved your life...As for me, given what I did, I am certainly not worthy of you, but I will still wish you well..."
"Bless me?" Xiao Che scoffed, his eyes icy cold. "Who needs your blessing?! I told you to think for yourself, and you came up with this nonsense? You really are something else entirely, I don't know if you're stupid or just malicious!"
"You say you wouldn't dare to shamelessly pester me now, but why didn't you have this awareness before? You cried, made a scene, and even threatened suicide, daring to climb into my bed naked! How shameless were you back then? In the end, it's just because your strange illness is cured, you don't need me anymore, so naturally you don't need to bother with me. You say all sorts of high-sounding things, but aren't you just trying to get me to let you go? Saying you like me is all just a lie!"
He reached out and grabbed her chin, laughing angrily, "You're right, you're not good enough for me. You have no heart, you don't deserve it!"
"You want me to let you go? Don't even think about it!"
After saying that, he turned and left.
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