Interlude 10 of Chapter 120: "Let your heart keep beating..."
For several seconds, Nanmen Jue didn't say a word, his face blank.
A few seconds later, she pointed to the tip of her nose and asked incredulously, "Human anchor? Me?"
Ying Yao blinked again. He had a very intelligent, elite-looking face, but his expression always made him seem very innocent.
"Are you kidding me? Choosing the most wanted criminal as your human anchor?" Nanmen Jue almost laughed in anger. "You say you're using my sister as an anchor? That's more believable."
“I’ve tried.” Ying Yao lowered his eyes, seemingly a little uncomfortable, but immediately looked up at Nanmen Jue’s eyes again. “She’s good, but not enough.”
What's not enough? Nanmen Jue suddenly became angry. Her sister was kind and capable, what was wrong with her being this so-called anchor point?
However, before she could question him, Ying Yao said, "Are you going to stand here and talk forever? Let me buy you something to drink."
Nanmen Jue fell silent for the moment and followed Ying Yao out of the alley. It was too early, and the quieter cafes hadn't opened yet. The two of them wandered around and ended up back at the steamed bun shop where they had taken Zhu Wenjun to breakfast that morning.
Two attractive young people sat down on low stools in the corner, drawing a lot of attention. Nanmen Jue had another cup of chilled soy milk in his hand.
Ying Yao was quite a character. He didn't seem uncomfortable at all when he invited someone to have something to drink at a breakfast stall. In front of him was a bowl of steaming eight-treasure porridge.
In front of Nanmen Jue, he opened the sugar jar and earnestly added sugar to the porridge, one spoonful, two spoonfuls, three spoonfuls... a total of seven spoonfuls.
Nanmen Jue looked at his aching tooth and asked, "Do you love sweets that much?"
“Yes, I like it very much,” Ying Yao said. “I also eat it in the cycle of reincarnation, but I wear a mask and a face covering so that others can’t tell.”
Nanmen Jue imagined Ying Yao slowly chewing a candy under that cool, interstellar warrior-like mask, like sneaking a bite in class when the teacher turns to write on the blackboard... She couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Ying Yao looked at her in confusion, not understanding why she was laughing. Nanmen Jue cleared his throat, lifted the lid, and added sugar to the soy milk, just like him.
She didn't add that much, but she added three spoonfuls. After adding it, she took a sip. To her taste buds, it was so sweet it was almost cloying. But after taking a big gulp, something stuck in her chest seemed to soften a bit with the sweetness.
Eating sweets does improve her mood, but she has never liked sweets.
Ying Yao watched her finish doing all that, and after she swallowed the mouthful, he got up and got her a bottle of mineral water.
Nanmen Jue was utterly flattered.
Ying Yao opened his mouth, and Nanmen Jue looked on expectantly, thinking he would say something comforting. Instead, he said, "If you don't like sweets, don't add sugar. It's a waste."
Nanmen Jue: ...
The argumentative personality kicked in, and Nanmen Jue dragged the soy milk he had pushed away back, saying, "Who says I don't like sweets? I love them!"
Ying Yao pointed to the corner of his eye, "When you're in pain, the corner of your eye easily turns red."
Nanmen Jue had nothing to say.
She subconsciously touched the corner of her eye, looked down at the soy milk in front of her, and Ying Yao took the soy milk from her, opened the lid and poured it into an empty bowl, then tilted his head back and drank it himself.
Nanmen Jue wanted to applaud his frugality, but he was not happy about it, so he remained silent.
“Nanmen Yu and I met in a supernatural apocalypse.” Without any warning, Ying Yao cut straight to the point after finishing his drink. “Among all the apocalypses, supernatural apocalypses are recognized as the most dangerous type. Most of the monsters in them are unkillable; you can only rely on escaping and luck. They are unsolvable.”
Nanmen Jue's pupils contracted as he suppressed his chaotic emotions and listened attentively to what he was saying.
“Fortunately, the supernatural world wasn’t too difficult. When I met her, she had already obtained the item and was saving a few natives.” Ying Yao looked at her, “Just like you.”
Nanmen Jue's heart stirred, recalling the day before she and Ying Yao first met, in the attic of Hongchenxi, where she saved a girl and an old man, allowing them to die with dignity in the end.
She originally thought Ying Yao would arrive the next day, which meant he had been there all along, watching her without her knowing, until he felt it was time for him to appear before her.
Is this level of strength really just for an orange-ranked player?
But then she thought again, although Ying Yao looked thin and frail, he was a retired soldier after all, and perhaps he had his own methods.
Even without saying it outright, Nanmen Jue held soldiers in high esteem.
“Before that, I hadn’t seen a reincarnated person actively saving people for a long time,” Ying Yao said. “I watched her save people and helped her, and she quickly accepted me.”
Nanmen Jue unconsciously twisted the bottle cap in his hand, opening and tightening it repeatedly, and said, "Did she... look okay back then?"
Ying Yao looked up at her and said, "Not good."
Nanmen Jue paused, his voice tightening, "What's going on?"
“She seemed to be afraid, but she never told me what she was afraid of until she disappeared,” Ying Yao said. “Compared to the dangers in the cycle of reincarnation, the fear in her heart had a greater impact on her; she was almost crushed by it.”
With a snap, the bottle cap in Nanmen Jue's hand was twisted until it was stripped.
Without saying a word, she opened the bottle cap and gulped down the water.
She could sense that Ying Yao was observing her.
“You’re just like her, carrying a deep fear in your heart,” Ying Yao concluded. “You’re stronger than her.”
"Bullshit." Nanmen Jue slammed the empty bottle onto the table. "Ying Yao, don't slander my sister in front of me."
Ying Yao's lips curled up briefly; it was the first time he had ever smiled, but Nanmen Jue, with his head down, didn't see it.
“I’m not trying to discredit her. Whether you admit it or not, it’s a fact,” Ying Yao said. “Nanmen Yu is a great and kind person. I respect her. She said that herself. After I met you, I agree with her.”
Nanmen Jue looked up blankly. "She...said that?"
“She said she’s not as strong or as determined as you. You’ve always known what you want and what you’re doing, but she doesn’t.” Ying Yao looked at her reddened eyes, his expression softening. “She loves you very much.”
Nanmen Jue's heart was gripped by something. It wasn't pain; she was used to pain and could endure it. But this feeling was too bitter, as if someone had crushed ten thousand lemons and poured them into her stomach, making her face turn pale with sourness.
"I only found out she loved me because someone else told me." She gave a self-deprecating smile. "I thought she hated me."
“She doesn’t hate you.” Ying Yao said matter-of-factly, “She said she regrets being too harsh on you, imposing her own expectations on you, and not wanting to listen to your thoughts.”
Nanmen Jue's eyes gradually reddened. "She told you this? You've only known her for a short time, and she's already telling you this? We've been like siblings for eighteen years, and she's never said this to me. What right do you have? This is about me!"
She didn't realize how much she was acting like a child taking her anger out on someone else. Ying Yao wasn't angry; he got up again and went to get Nanmen Jue a glass of jujube milk.
In that short time, Nanmen Jue calmed down a bit and wiped her eyes. When Ying Yao placed the milk in front of her and sat down again, her expression was somewhat complicated.
“…Thank you,” she said.
Ying Yao gave her time to adjust, and she accepted his kindness.
“Some things are impossible to say because they are from the closest people,” Ying Yao said. “This doesn’t mean that I am more important to her than you. It’s just that she wanted to say it, and I happened to be there to listen.”
“I know.” Nanmen Jue took a sip of milk. “We had a communication problem, it’s not your fault.”
“It’s Nanmen Yu’s fault,” Ying Yao said.
Nanmen Jue froze again. "Did she say that too?"
“No,” Ying Yao said. “For the past eighteen years, you’ve just been a child. You didn’t know how to handle problems. She’s an elder, and this is her responsibility.”
Nanmen Jue suppressed his anger, "I've told you, you're not allowed to speak ill of my sister in front of me."
Ying Yao replied, "If you all protected each other as you do when you talk about each other in front of me, how could things have turned out like this?"
Nanmen Jue's eyes were practically spitting fire. If this weren't the real world, if they were still in that deserted alley, she would have punched Ying Yao's indifferent face.
“I offered Nanmen Yu that I could protect her as long as she continued to save people, but she refused.” Ying Yao continued, seemingly oblivious to the intense pressure and tension, “She said she didn’t know how long she could hold on, and if I tried to get anything from her, I would be disappointed.”
Like a bucket of cold water being poured over him, Nanmen Jue instantly lost his temper, "...She's still so incisive."
Ying Yao nodded calmly, "She saw what I was looking for, and it was because of that that she accepted me as a friend."
"So this is the story of you and my sister," Nanmen Jue said in a low voice. "You two didn't really have any romantic relationship; it was a revolutionary camaraderie built on saving lives."
Ying Yao looked at her, this time for quite a while, and Nanmen Jue had no choice but to raise her head and meet his gaze.
Ying Yao's eyes were calm and gentle, while Nanmen Jue's gaze was turbulent and surging like waves.
“I had high hopes for you even before I met you,” Ying Yao said. “Nanmen Yu described you as a person who is determined to be yourself. In that kind of world, that’s exactly the kind of person I was looking for.”
"Then, right in front of you, I slaughtered the entire Cycle of Reincarnation." Nanmen Jue said in a low voice, "What makes you still able to talk to me calmly and not give up your expectations of me?"
“You killed Cheng Xiuye in front of Zhou Yiming,” Ying Yao said.
"I'm just not afraid of him."
"You killed Cheng Xiuye to avenge Guan Junren."
“He also stole my strength, and I’m the kind of person who holds grudges.”
What are you afraid of?
What am I afraid of?
“Nanmen Yu is also afraid. If you are afraid of the same thing as her, you should be alert. Nanmen Yu has disappeared, and you are also in danger.”
"Thank you, but don't worry about it."
“Nanmen Jue”.
What are you doing?
Nanmen Jue stubbornly tilted his head, his chin taut and sharp, answering questions but refusing to look at Ying Yao.
Ying Yao seemed to sigh.
“I’m just an ordinary person. I can’t figure out whether the original inhabitants of the Reincarnation World are real or fake. All I’ve seen is that you’ve never actively killed any Reincarnators, and I don’t know how many times you’ve saved them,” Ying Yao said. “Keep your heart beating. The Reincarnation Space needs it.”
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Author's Note: Oh my god, I rarely read comments, and I just realized that some readers comforted me and told me not to be angry. Thank you so much!!
When I realized my period started today, my irritability from the argument the day before yesterday became justified... But it's normal to bicker with family, I'm fine! Hugs and kisses to everyone!
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