Chapter 8, Part 8: Yu Yu: "Oh no, Uncle, your kitten is making noise..."
After bringing the two little darlings back, Yan Xingli knew that her life as a nanny had begun.
Qianjin is a cat that Yan Shanyi picked up. She is spoiled and pampered. She is a clean cat who doesn't lick her own bottom.
Coincidentally, Yan Shanyi also has a cleanliness obsession. She doesn't trust the nanny at home, so she leaves the task of wiping her daughter's bottom to Yan Xingli.
The servants, who dared not speak out against their anger, counted the money while meekly serving the servants.
Yan Xingli has been the daughter's full-time nanny since high school, doing all the dirty and tiring work. The daughter has long since accepted Yan Xingli as her servant.
Therefore, even in a new environment, Qianjin remained calm and composed.
Yan Xingli put the box into the storage room, dusted himself off, and put his coat back on: "Yuyu, I'm going out for a bit. You and Xiaohua watch the house."
The child, who usually clung to him and never left his side, didn't even turn his head: "Bye-bye."
Yan Xingli persisted: "Aren't you curious about what I'm going to do?"
"Uncle is going to work."
"What the hell?" Yan Xingli said, enunciating each word clearly. "I'm going to the supermarket, the big supermarket."
"Okay, I understand." Qi Youyu waved her hand, "Goodbye, Uncle."
Yan Xingli: "...Bye-bye."
Having made a fool of himself, Yan Xingli went out fully armed.
He bought a bunch of fresh fish, shrimp, and vegetables at the supermarket, and then went to the pet store to buy supplements and pet toys based on the list given by Yan Shanyi.
Yan Xingli doesn't know how to cook human food, but his years of experience as a nanny have made him proficient in cooking cat and dog food.
Pets have a home delivery service, so Yan Xingli carried bags of groceries home first.
As soon as he got home, he sent the grocery receipt to Yan Shanyi, who readily reimbursed him, transferring a generous sum of money for his meals.
Yan Xingli immediately became as energetic as if he had been injected with chicken blood, and rushed into the kitchen to get busy.
"It looked at me, wow, its eyes are so beautiful."
"ah."
"It feels so soft."
Qi Youyu had never seen such a plump and round kitten before, and for a moment she was a little doubtful, "Xiao Hua, is it a pig or a cat?"
Xiaohua analyzed earnestly: "Cats, with a history of over 25 million years on Earth, are small mammals. They have dense, soft fur, small collarbones, short muzzles, round eyes, thick necks, and relatively short limbs."①
"Several spherical fleshy pads are located beneath the claws, and the tongue is covered with filamentous papillae with a keratinized layer."②
A holographic screen appeared in front of Xiaohua, displaying images and videos of cats recreated by scientists using technology.
After a thorough and rigorous comparison, Xiaohua concluded: "Therefore, there is a 99.9% chance that the silver-white furry creature in front of us is a cat."
Qi Youyu's little mind was filled with emotion.
"It's much stronger than the skinny cat specimens in the museum."
Xiaohua: "Maybe it's a big cat-pig."
Yan Xingli, who was squatting on the ground arranging ingredients, twitched his ears and his eyes crinkled with laughter.
The young lady is most sensitive to the words "fat," "eating," and "playing," and all her intelligence is focused on these three things. She's probably furious right now.
Sure enough, Qianjin's beard trembled, she opened her eyes angrily, turned around and faced away with her backside.
The sturdy back view made Qi Youyu's eyes light up. She said happily, "Xiao Hua, you're right, it's a super piggy cat!"
Qianjin: ...
The plump kitten stormed off the table in anger.
Qi Youyu swung her short legs to catch up, only to see Qianjin run behind Eleme, lie down, raise her long legs, and elegantly lick her fur.
Eleme, engrossed in gnawing on bone sticks, remained oblivious.
Qi Youyu smiled and said, "So it came to play with its good friend."
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the pig-cat, which was licking its fur, suddenly jumped up, raised its paws, and punched the dog's brain twice, making a loud thud.
The dog that had been beaten sprang up as if it had been pulled up from the ground.
"Woof woof ...!!"
Qianjin: "Clang!"
Xiao Hua and Qi Youyu were dumbfounded.
Qi Youyu panicked and turned around, shouting for help: "Uncle, something bad has happened! They're fighting!"
Yan Xingli glanced at it once and then calmly looked away: "No fight broke out. Ele.me was just taking the beating unilaterally."
"???"
The woman chased after the fleeing Ele.me delivery service, making a series of clattering sounds.
Qi Youyu was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan: "Uncle, is the cat sick? It keeps making strange noises."
"It's nothing, it just spat at Ele.me."
The two little devils fight countless times every day, and Yan Xingli is already used to it.
Qianjin is the eldest in the family, and Eleme is the puppy that she dragged Yanshanyi to the pet store to pick out.
Yan Shanyi, who had no plans to have a second child, had his daughter keep Eleme (a food delivery platform) by her side to make the child happy.
Eleme seems to understand that without Qianjin, it wouldn't have its wealth and glory, so it treats Qianjin exceptionally well, submissive and obedient, with such a good temper that even Yan Shanyi sometimes feels sorry for her.
Xiao Hua wrote furiously: "Cats spit, dogs play hide-and-seek."
"Why is the cat spitting at the puppy?" Qi Youyu frowned. "Won't the puppy catch a cold?"
Why else? Because you two called it a big cat-pig.
大猫猪尊老爱幼，不会揍小孩，只能逮着无辜的狗腿子吐口水了。
Yan Xingli bent down to peel carrots. "Eleme is very durable. At most, it'll just get a little dirty."
Qi Youyu: "Should we give them a bath?"
"Let's wait a couple of days."
Qianjin doesn't like going to the pet store for a bath, and Eleme (a food delivery service) makes her too noisy. Bathing them is a big project, and Yanxingli needs to think about it carefully.
The two little ones on the other side stopped fighting after they had had enough. Eleme carefully brought the bone back to gnaw on, while Qianjin buried her head in tidying up her messy fur.
Qi Youyu breathed a sigh of relief and smiled again.
"Little Flower, would you like to pet the kitten?"
A rare hint of nervousness appeared on Xiaohua's stiff, anime-like face. It hesitated and stammered, "But, I've never touched such a small and adorable life before."
“You can try,” the child encouraged. “It’s a live cat.”
The little flower, who takes special care of the cubs, can't help but feel a tenderness for all young lives.
Its little round hands opened and closed, but eventually gave up.
Yan Xingli felt something strange that he couldn't quite put his finger on.
Only after he inquired did he learn that there were no cats or dogs on the planet Cang'ai.
He couldn't imagine how boring a planet would be without cats and dogs.
Yan Xingli felt sorry for the child, then turned his gaze to Xiao Hua.
"Little Flower".
"I'm making cat and dog food," he said with a warm smile. "Would you like to learn together?"
Xiaohua was stunned.
This was knowledge from a completely new field, and the thirst for knowledge consumed its mind.
"I'm willing." Xiaohua's two roller skates glided very fast.
"Revered ancient sage, are you truly willing to impart such important knowledge to me?"
Yan Xingli: "Call me Brother Xing."
"Okay, Brother Xing."
Yan Xingli handed over the head chef position to Xiaohua: "From now on, everything is under my command."
Xiaohua tied on an apron, put on gloves, and solemnly picked up a broccoli floret, put it under the tap to wash it, and finally chopped it into small pieces.
Yan Xingli successfully passed on the task of preparing cat and dog food every day from dawn till dusk.
The pet store delivered the goods to my door. The deliveryman installed a super luxurious cat tree and cat villa in the living room, while Yan Xingli was busy packaging freeze-dried food and cat and dog food.
The three little ones were sent to the bedroom to play. Yan Xingli grabbed a handful of freeze-dried food and gave it to Qi Youyu, asking her to feed Qianjin and Eleme.
A short while later, a child's extremely panicked cries came from the bedroom.
"My uncle is in big trouble."
"Hurry up and come here!"
Yan Xingli thought of his cabinet full of figurines, his long legs moving so fast they left afterimages, his expression anxious:
"What's wrong? What happened?"
Beside the large French windows in the bedroom, Qi Youyu lay with her rear end sticking out next to the cat bed, her little hands awkwardly tucked under her belly.
"Uncle, your daughter is ringing."
"It keeps making noise, is its little speaker uncomfortable?"
Qi Youyu, who had never been in contact with cats before, was extremely worried. How could such a soft and cute kitten make a purring sound like boiling water?
After eating her fill of freeze-dried food, the young lady lay sprawled on the ground basking in the sun, her fluffy tail swaying gently.
Seeing that his beloved figurines were safe and sound, Yan Xingli breathed a sigh of relief.
"It's okay, that's a sign of happiness and joy."
Just pretend it's singing.
Qi Youyu seemed to understand, but not quite.
The child got up from the ground, and Qianjin also got up, rubbing against her legs for a couple of steps before falling to the ground and rolling onto her belly.
Qi Youyu whispered "Oh dear," and pointed at the fallen pig-like cat: "Uncle, the cat is itchy, it wants to take a bath."
Daughter:oo
I hate that you're such a blockhead.
Yan Xingli smiled and bent down to pat the kitten's head: "You've finally met your match, my dear. You're giving that idiot a flirty look, haha."
Qianjin slapped Yan Xingli's hand away with her paw, leaving a mark on his fair hand with her sturdy flesh.
"You heartless bastard, do you even know you're living under someone else's roof now?"
"Besides, I'm your uncle. Show me some respect. Don't you understand the importance of respecting elders and caring for the young?"
Qianjin gave him a disdainful look, raised her tail high, and ran away.
Banquet Star Ceremony: ...
Yan Shanyi's cat is just like her.
*
The simple and spacious living room has been transformed. With the addition of a cat treadmill, a cat villa, and a luxurious climbing frame, it is no longer cold and lonely, but rather has a more lively feel.
These were all things that Qi Youyu had never seen before.
Yu Yu tapped the light brain on her wrist, took a picture, and sent it.
"Ya Ya, look, she is my uncle's daughter, and she is a very plump cat."
“These are all expensive toys, bought by my uncle.”
"When I get home, I'll definitely bring you a toy that your daughter once played with."
The child was muttering to herself on the personal terminal when Yan Xingli, who was passing by behind her, raised an eyebrow and covered her head with his large hand: "Who are you talking to?"
“My good friend.” Qi Youyu held up one finger, her little face showing a hint of pride. “Uncle, Ya Ya is a super amazing little scientist.”
When Yan Xingli first heard her mention another child, he was surprised and aroused some interest.
"Is it because you're better, or is she better?"
Qi Youyu thought about it seriously for a moment, her expression becoming serious: "We are both good, but I think Ya Ya is a little bit better than me."
The child stared at Yan Xingli's legs: "Uncle, if your legs run away from home, Ya Ya can help you find them."
Yan Xingli was stunned. He pondered for a moment, then slowed his voice to confirm:
"Does 'getting a leg back' mean... a transplant? Or a prosthetic?"
Qi Youyu stared at him for a while, then pulled down her pants.
Yan Xingli squatted down, and the child's chubby little hands immediately patted and tapped him on the head.
"It wasn't fixed last time."
"I'll fix it again."
Yan Xingli: "..."
He grabbed Yu Yu's hand, his face darkening as he pulled away: "I'm not bad, I'm perfectly fine."
After being interrupted like that, Yan Xingli felt embarrassed to ask any further questions, as it would make him seem stupid.
He changed the subject: "Didn't you say you couldn't contact the people on Cang'ai Planet?"
Yan Xingli immediately got to the heart of the matter.
Qi Youyu turned her back and looked at the ceiling, stammering, "Ya Ya knows I've come to Earth, and she's working hard to build a time machine."
"Ya Ya can do everything, she's really amazing."
Yan Xingli shuddered: "Are all the kids in your area PhDs?"
“No, Uncle,” Qi Youyu said. “I’m still in kindergarten.”
Kindergarten graduates can build spaceships...
That kindergarten diploma is as valuable as a doctoral or master's degree from a 985 or 211 university.
After a moment of silence, Yan Xingli felt something was amiss.
"You can even build spaceships, how come you only have a kindergarten diploma? Don't the universities where you are have special programs for gifted children?"
This is a long story.
The child was too embarrassed to admit that she was a little illiterate in the humanities, relying entirely on a reading pen to solve problems, and still could not recognize many characters.
Qi Youyu, who cared about her reputation, didn't want to lose face, so she gave her uncle a few perfunctory replies and ran away.
Xiao Hua transforms into a historian dedicated to recording daily life, following behind a cat and a dog, recording their every move.
Then it discovered that the two little ones also had warm and harmonious times together. For example, when the little girl was tired from playing, she would lean on Eleme and use it as a pillow or bolster.
The fluffy cat bed was packed full, and the sounds of snoring filled the air.
Xiaohua doesn't have an encyclopedia of skills, so she has to figure things out little by little on her own.
When it heard that thunderous snoring, Xiaohua's database almost went haywire.
It couldn't understand why their tiny bodies could produce snoring sounds like cows mooing; it was truly unbelievable.
The more Xiaohua observed Qianjin and Ele.me, the more confused her mechanical brain became, especially since the puppy could actually fart.
Eleme, which was fast asleep, let out a series of farts, waking Qianjin up with a start. Good heavens! Is this something a dog would do?
The girl cursed and gave the dog a good beating, then stormed off in a huff.
A sleepy-eyed dog: (Image of an honest, simple dog)
Yan Xingli, who was walking by with his hands in his pockets, glanced at it and said with a half-smile, "Hey, where are you going to ride your motorcycle so late at night?"
Dog: oo
(Image of a dog shyly covering its face)
Xiaohua carefully wrote down: "Dogs fart, cats snore."
Yan Xingli leaned closer to the little flower and glanced at it sideways: "Would you like to raise them yourself and build a closer relationship with them?"
"I think."
Little Flower's emerald green eyes looked like two big light bulbs: "Dear Brother Xing, I'd be happy to share your burden. Would you be willing to let me take care of them?"
"Of course, I trust you completely." Yan Xingli smiled and changed the subject. "But you have to promise me one thing: you can't come and bother me in the morning anymore, but you can give me a massage."
Yan Xingli, who has successfully stepped down from being a cat owner and nanny, must be laughing in her sleep.
Making money and getting a free massage from Xiaohua—it's awesome!
That night, Yu Yu and Xiao Hua snuggled in bed whispering secrets. Xiao Hua exclaimed with delight, "Master Yu Yu, your ancient ancestor was truly a virtuous and kind person!"
Qi Youyu clenched her little fists, which was unusual for her: "No, Uncle is a big bad guy."
Xiaohua was puzzled.
Yu Yu: "My uncle lied to me, saying that the puppy's paws taste like strawberry milk."
Xiaohua: "Isn't that right?"
"no!"
"Sour and smelly, I know there's no such thing as sour and smelly milk!"
Eleme's sweaty feet, if not wiped for a day, would smell so bad they'd make you want to vomit up leftovers. Yan Xingli tricked Yu Yu into smelling them, and almost made the poor kid cry from the stench.
The little flower, which has no sense of smell, was skeptical.
Regardless, practice makes perfect, Xiaohua decided to go and smell it herself tomorrow.
A note from the author:
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①② are from Baidu Encyclopedia.
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