Chapter 11, Section 11: "Then I'll make a language bracelet for my uncle..."
"I've never heard you mention your family in public before. What made you decide to bring your niece on the show this time?"
Yan Xingli: "I received an invitation from your program team not long after I finished filming my last movie, so I came."
[Is the drama he just finished filming going to be another one where he's the male lead? No way! Even if he's just a pretty face, I want to see a pretty face with acting skills!]
[Production Team: Why did you come on our show? Yan Xingli: Didn't you invite me?]
[I'm laughing so hard! lol]
The staff member's smile remained unchanged: "Teacher Yan, are you someone who likes children?"
"I'm usually too busy with work to have much opportunity to meet children," Yan Xingli said honestly. "Yuyu is the first child I've met. She's very well-behaved, and I like her very much."
[You liar! You clearly acted alongside a young actress from the Hundred Flowers Troupe in your very first role. How could you not have had a chance?]
"We'll be recording for a month, and we can't ask for outside help during that time. Are you confident you can take good care of the children?"
Yan Xingli nodded, his tone indifferent: "No problem, taking care of children is not that difficult."
Judging from his confident and composed tone, even the usually composed production team began to have some doubts about the information they had collected.
Yan Xingli answered fluently throughout, and every answer was, in his opinion, flawless and impeccable.
As the interview was drawing to a close, the staff member abruptly changed the subject:
"Fans say you're a walking clothes rack. Would you mind sharing your secrets with everyone?"
Yan Xingli frowned almost imperceptibly, feeling that the question was a bit too far-fetched.
"There's no secret to it, just watch what you eat and exercise more."
"For example, getting up in the early morning to exercise?"
“No need,” Yan Xingli replied without batting an eye. “I usually exercise around seven or eight in the morning.”
The staff member glanced down at their phone, then looked up with a subtle smile: "Did you get up before dawn to exercise today so you'd be in the best condition for the recording?"
Yan Xingli was puzzled.
The staff member picked up a phone, which played a short interview video of Yu Yu.
"My uncle and I are the best of friends in the world. I know many of his secrets."
"Can we share some of those fish with your uncle and aunt?"
The child was quite generous: "Okay, but there are only two."
Qi Youyu sat upright, raised her chubby little hand to cover her mouth, and whispered in her natural baby voice:
"Actually, my uncle is a sheep, and he eats a lot of grass every day."
"My uncle is very vain."
“He applies lotion every day, and today he got up before dawn to apply lotion.”
Yan Xingli, who never expected to be exposed in this way: "..."
He composed himself, straightened his expression, and readily admitted, "Well, I did get up earlier than usual today."
So, the stunningly beautiful, natural look she showed at the beginning was all the result of this man's meticulously planned scheme?
[Oh well, as long as they put in the effort for me, lol emoji.]
After the interview segment with the company ended, Yan Xingli finally came back to life.
Cameras were installed in the living room, kitchen, balcony, and bedroom. With seven or eight extra surveillance cameras in his home, Yan Xingli could no longer relax.
Before the production team announced the first task, Yan Xingli called out to Xiao Hua, who was busy in the kitchen.
Having gotten up early for once, Yan Xingli planned to take Qi Youyu to the nearby morning market for food.
Xiao Hua stayed behind to look after the house, while Yan Xingli put on sunglasses and a hat, and the two of them changed their clothes and went out.
On a bright, sunny day, it's warm and cozy to walk on the street.
Qi Youyu has been on Earth for almost half a month, and this is her first time visiting a lively morning market.
The narrow road was lined with a dazzling array of local delicacies, and even the most ordinary steamed buns and mantou could no longer satisfy their tastes.
Fermented rice and brown sugar steamed buns, crispy honey bread rolls, scallion pancakes, spring pancakes, tofu pancakes, crab roe soup dumplings, three-shrimp noodles, and so on.
Yan Xingli, who had suppressed her carbohydrate intake for many years due to the need to manage her physique, couldn't take it anymore.
[Where is this morning market? I can almost smell the aroma through the screen! Anyone want to go check it out?]
This is the Honglin Morning Market in S City, which has a history of over a hundred years. My home is right here, so everyone is welcome to come and visit!
The style of the comments gradually went astray as the food appeared on screen.
Taking advantage of the show recording and Li Zhi's absence, Yan Xingli led Yu Yu to eat their way from one end of the street to the other.
The child has a great appetite and eats big mouthfuls of food; just looking at it makes one want to eat more.
After finishing breakfast, Yu Yu took a liking to the oranges and freshly baked chicken cakes by the roadside. Yan Xingli glanced at her round belly.
"Keep eating, or you'll ruin your stomach."
The child became smarter: "No, I have two stomachs, one for oranges and one for cakes."
"Eat any more and you'll turn into a little pig," Yan Xingli said slyly.
The child glanced at him, raised a finger and shook it, then seriously corrected him, "Uncle, you've mistaken the breed. I'm not a pig."
[Exactly, how could anyone call such an adorable child a pig!]
[What a jerk!!]
"I am a sheep, a little sheep."
Yan Xingli raised one eyebrow: "Why?"
In just a few days, he's already developed a liking for mutton again?
Qi Youyu happily shook her little head, her two pigtails perfectly matching the occasion: "Because my uncle is a sheep, I am a little sheep."
A minute later, the child got his wish, carrying oranges and skipping ahead with his uncle by the hand.
A faint smile appeared in Yan Xingli's eyes as he followed Yu Yu's retreating figure.
He gets this happy over a little bit of good food; his optimistic personality is just like his.
The grandfather and grandson, having eaten and drunk their fill, were walking home when suddenly it got dark, dark clouds covered the sky, and then—
Caught completely off guard, the two had no time to dodge and were soaked to the bone.
What kind of weather is this? One second it's sunny, the next it's pouring rain.
Winter rain, no matter how heavy, is always chilly. Adults might be okay getting wet, but children are sure to catch a cold.
Yan Xingli scooped up Yuyu with his long arms, lifted his coat to cover the child's head, and ran to the supermarket entrance to take shelter from the rain.
Yu Yu looked up at him.
"What are you looking at?" Yan Xingli shook the water off his palms, pinched Yu Yu's cheeks, and asked, "Are you cold?"
Qi Youyu's two fluffy pigtails, like sunflowers, were already mostly soaked by the raindrops.
The child shook his head from side to side, drying his braids.
Yan Xingli, who had been slapped a few times for no reason, quickly turned his head away.
He was still holding the child in his arms, but his face had already retreated two miles away: "Hey, don't you dare to do what Ele.me does and throw things around like that."
The little fish stopped and stared at its uncle's handsome face, which was covered in water stains, and grinned.
Yan Xingli could tell at a glance that the child was doing it on purpose.
He feigned anger: "Still laughing? You'll have to do my laundry when we get home."
"Okay, okay."
Yan Xingli had never taken care of children before, so she wasn't very experienced.
I realized it was inappropriate after I said it. For children of this age, washing clothes is the same as playing in water, which is practically a blatant reward.
So Yan Xingli immediately changed his mind.
[You can tell they're uncle and niece; their way of getting along is just like me and my niece, hahaha]
Doesn't anyone find this interaction between the uncle and nephew heartwarming and funny?
Based on past experience, rain on sunny days comes quickly and goes suddenly.
Yan Xingli waited for a while, and sure enough, the rain subsided.
He patted the child in his arms and said, "The rain is about to stop, let's go home."
"Wait a moment."
Qi Youyu wrapped one arm around her uncle's neck, pointed to the sky with the other, and her clear, childlike eyes curved into crescents: "Uncle, we got washed by the rain."
"We should thank the rain."
As he spoke, the child first made a gesture of putting his hands together in prayer, bowed devoutly, and looked at Yan Xingli expectantly.
Yan Xingli was very straightforward: "Are we grateful that it made us soaked to the bone?"
"Uncle, is a drowned rat also a king of chickens? Which tastes better, it or fried chicken?"
Yan Xingli expressionlessly pulled his coat down, covering the child's entire face.
"I don't know which tastes better, but if we're talking about who's more miserable, the drowned chicken is definitely more miserable."
Yan Xingli had just taken a step when he stopped.
In the hazy rain, the burly, fat man sped forward on his roller skates, executing a cool, soulful drift as he rounded a bend, stopping right in front of the two of them.
Yan Xingli and it stared at each other, wide-eyed.
Before Xiao Hua could utter a sound, the child in Yan Xingli's arms, as if by telepathy, cleverly slipped out from under his armpit, beaming with joy:
"Hello, Xiaohua."
Xiaohua is holding two umbrellas.
One is a cartoon umbrella with cat ears, and the other is a large black umbrella.
"Sorry I'm late. Qianjin and Eleme are having a fight, and I have to spend some time mediating their conflict."
Yu Yu: "It's okay, my uncle takes good care of me."
"Thank you for bringing umbrellas to me and my uncle."
Xiaohua: "Rainwater contains a large number of bacteria and microorganisms, which are common sources of infection that cause skin and respiratory diseases, and are especially dangerous for children and the elderly with low immunity."
“My lovely fish master, I must get you away from the danger immediately.”
Xiao Hua took out a pair of yellow rain boots from her belly, squatted down and helped Qi Youyu put them on, and then her external appearance changed.
Its round belly shrank back, and a comfortable child seat extended from inside: "Please sit down."
Yan Xingli picked up the fish and sat down.
Xiao Hua held up the large black umbrella with her left hand, and gently untied Qi Youyu's pigtails with her other hand, turning the tendrils of a hairdryer into a blower that blew her hair from head to toe.
"Disinfection and sterilization complete."
At this moment, viewers in the live stream commented: "[...No, it's Doraemon! How come it has everything and can do everything??]"
Yan Xingli leaned closer: "Help me blow on it too."
Xiao Hua glanced at him indifferently, then turned her head back indifferently: "Sorry, you are not in service area."
"..."
Yan Xingli opened the small cat-ear umbrella in his hand with a blank expression.
[Hahaha, so this umbrella was for Yan Xingli! That's hilarious!]
Whose robot is this? Can I buy it in China? I desperately need one like this to pick up and drop off my child; it's so intelligent!
*
Back home, Xingli changed out of her wet clothes. She hadn't intended to wash them, but Xiaohua's words inexplicably popped into her head.
Better safe than sorry, so he obediently threw the dirty clothes into the washing machine.
Everyone knows that Yan Xingli's acting skills are terrible, so the production team certainly wouldn't let this hot topic pass by. The first task they released was to have the grandfather and grandson watch a TV series.
It's the male lead drama that has recently made Yan Xingli frequently trend on social media – "Long Life".
When the camera panned to the contents of the task card, the live chat erupted in cheers, praising the production team for being utterly unethical.
Yan Xingli could guess what the comments would say without even looking at them. His expression remained unchanged, showing no embarrassment or dissatisfaction.
Aside from him, no one knew that Qi Youyu was a little alien. They had a natural cultural barrier, so she would definitely not understand the classical and archaic dialogue of the period drama.
Yan Xingli leaned back on the sofa and patted the seat next to him: "Yuyu, come and watch TV with your uncle."
"Here you are."
"Long Life" is a time-travel drama with a male protagonist, and it is also a rare martial arts drama in mainland China in the past decade. The forty episodes are full of fighting from beginning to end.
The male lead has a very old-fashioned character design. He is of average appearance and has a personality that combines the liveliness and whimsy of a modern person with the helplessness and forbearance of someone living in ancient times. The main storyline revolves around his rise from a useless person expelled from his sect to become the leader of the martial arts alliance, and finally stepping down as the leader to wander the world and return to freedom.
The character's life experience and personality are completely different from Yan Xingli's own.
Yan Xingli was unable to immerse herself in or empathize with the situation.
Through his tireless efforts, he finally managed to portray the male lead as both a village idiot and a period of aloof and domineering CEO.
Yan Xingli knew he was acting badly, but he gritted his teeth and finished the performance anyway.
With no hope for dramatic scenes, he could only strive for excellence in the action scenes, performing all his own stunts and developing a tough body from the falls.
Looking at the young celebrities in the entertainment industry, it's hard to find one who's willing to work hard to practice action scenes. If the difficulty is a little higher, a stunt double has to be used. After looking around, Yan Xingli is actually a pretty good candidate.
Yan Xingli treated it as just doing practice questions. If he couldn't do reading comprehension, he would bury himself in math problems. It's better to be good at one subject than bad at all.
A huge LCD TV screen is playing a high-quality martial arts drama.
Qi Youyu stared wide-eyed at her impoverished uncle on the television screen, dressed in tattered clothes and unable to afford even a single steamed bun.
The child turned his head and said, "Uncle, you're so pitiful."
"It's all acting, don't take it seriously."
The story begins with the protagonist, a good-for-nothing, being expelled from his sect and living a life of hardship, barely scraping by.
How comfortable can that be?
Yan Xingli's eyes darted around, and he dug his toes into the ground. If the live stream hadn't been on, he definitely would have fast-forwarded.
The first three episodes are all about the protagonist's bad luck in being bullied by various villains. On one side, there are exciting action scenes of flying over rooftops and scaling walls, and on the other side, there is the bruised and battered uncle.
Qi Youyu sighed more and more as she looked at the sofa, and finally climbed off and ran away.
The comments section was filled with schadenfreude: "Even his own niece would criticize his acting; let's see how his fans defend him now."
[Some people really don't need to be so harsh. Yu Yu clearly couldn't bear to see her uncle get beaten up in the scenes; they're just blindly criticizing her.]
"uncle."
The child stood at the door of the guest room and waved: "Come here."
"What is it now?" Yan Xingli asked impatiently.
Even though she was in her own home, Qi Youyu was extra cautious, her dark eyes darting around.
She grabbed Yan Xingli's hand and secretly slipped something into his palm.
"What is that?"
Yan Xingli looked down and saw that it was a hundred-yuan bill.
"Oh dear." Qi Youyu stomped her foot. "Don't take it out. Quickly put it in your pocket and hide it."
"What?" Yan Xingli narrowed his eyes. "Where did you get the money?"
He didn't remember giving her any pocket money.
And it was cash that he himself didn't even have.
Qi Youyu: "Xiaohua gave it to me."
"Uncle, when you go to work in the future, give this to other people, and they will treat you well."
Yan Xingli: "What do you mean?"
The child raised his hand and pointed at the television: "If you give money to the person who hit you, he will hit you gently, not send you flying."
"..." She actually knows how to bribe.
【Oh my good baby, Yan Xingli, what have you done to deserve this?!】
[This can't be sprayed.]
Hmm, Yan Xingli blinked. Could it be that his acting skills are actually not bad?
So the child was moved by his acting skills?
Yan Xingli scratched his head, mustered his courage, and asked in a low voice, "Yu Yu, what do you think of your uncle's acting?"
“That’s great!” Qi Youyu said enthusiastically. “I’ve never seen an uncle who can fly around.”
Yan Xingli: Okay, he was being presumptuous.
Xiaohua: "From the perspective of acting skills, your acting level is D. Based on the audience's comments on your messy facial features, empty eyes, and incomprehensible speech, there is huge room for improvement. If you want to make the leap from D to C, I suggest you practice more, learn more, ask more questions, and broaden your experience and knowledge."
Yan Xingli's face was extremely sour as he looked at the little flower who had popped out from the corner to make her presence known:
"Why are you everywhere? Did you mop the floor? Wash the dishes? Hang the clothes to dry?"
"Wherever Yuyu is, that's where I am." Xiaohua paused, glancing at him. "I'm Yuyu's companion robot, I have no obligation to hang your clothes out to dry."
Yan Xingli glared at him: "You're discriminating against the elderly."
"?"
"In fact, I have no heart, and I do not discriminate against people."
"Then you're not putting your heart into spending time with Yu Yu."
Xiaohua was bewildered, shocked, and stunned.
It seems to have fallen into a trap of human language?
"Helping me hang up my clothes is a sign of respecting the elderly. It is common knowledge that excellent robots know how to respect the elderly and care for the young."
"Whether it works or not, let's give it a shot and see," Yan Xingli said emphatically, hands on his hips.
"How can a robot that is meant to accompany a human child not have any compassion or a sense of leading by example? How can it set a good example for children if it doesn't?"
Xiaohua: "..."
Xiao Hua touched her round head, put her hat back on, and knew she couldn't listen anymore, or the data would get messed up again.
Watching the fat potato silently hang the clothes to dry, Yan Xingli's face broke into a victorious smile.
Good grief, even robots use PUA tactics! I knew he was a black-hearted devil!
Qi Youyu gently tugged at Yan Xingli's clothes: "Uncle, don't bully Xiaohua."
"I didn't bully it."
"I'm worried about you."
The reason Xiao Hua isn't very bright right now is because it's in companion mode. If it were switched to battle mode, it would be both smart and powerful, and even one uncle wouldn't be enough to fill its teeth.
never mind.
Qi Youyu, supporting her little belly, said nonsensically, "Uncle, I'll go to work when I grow up."
Automatically imagining the child's uncle needing to earn money to support him: Touching moment.
Qi Youyu: "Going to kindergarten is too tiring, I'd better go back to work earlier."
Yan Xingli immediately put on a look of disbelief.
"Don't say such unlucky things. Children say the darndest things. Spit it out!"
The child has too little experience. Once he sees what evil capitalists are like, he will definitely regret his outrageous words today.
He was in a bad state while filming this drama, covered in bruises every day. Several times, he was not properly suspended by wires and fell from the air, almost dying. Fortunately, he survived and only broke a rib.
The grandfather and grandson's live stream ranked second in popularity among the five live streams. Just as their popularity was gradually climbing and closing in on the number one spot, the live stream ended.
The netizens who were watching with great interest: !!
【Are you kidding me? I was getting really into it and it just disappeared?! What kind of service is this?!】
The two-hour pilot episode will be edited down to half an hour, and the final episode will be officially released over the weekend.
The production team has repeatedly used this tactic of abruptly ending the show and leaving viewers wanting more; as soon as the live broadcast ended, related terms quickly climbed to the top of the trending searches.
As soon as the camera was turned off, Yan Xingli received a call from Li Zhi, whose roar pierced the sky:
"Yan Xingli, get on the treadmill right now!"
"Did you indulge yourself too much while I was away? Spring rolls, steamed buns, and spicy soup every morning? You're prone to gaining weight. Where did your self-discipline as a male celebrity go?"
Do you know how much rounder your face looks on camera?
"You're playing a sickly, beautiful, and tragic character in your next role, so hurry up and lose some weight! What are you trying to do, getting all round and chubby?"
Yan Xingli felt extremely guilty, so he quickly made up a few words and hung up.
*
Today, Qi Youyu didn't need Yan Xingli to urge her; after taking a bath, she took Xiaohua and went back to her room to sleep early.
The child ran off so fast that Yan Xingli didn't even have a chance to ask about the money.
People's joys and sorrows are not shared.
While her down-on-her-luck uncle was working out hard on the treadmill at the gym, Qi Youyu in the guest room was extremely excited.
The child sat cross-legged on the bed, tapped the light brain on his wrist, and a holographic screen lit up in the darkness, showing a replay of the daytime live stream.
"hey-hey."
"I was on TV."
Qi Youyu's face turned unusually red as she shyly looked at Xiaohua: "Xiaohua, why do I think I'm a little pretty? Am I too fond of myself?"
"Being vain is a sign of confidence, and confidence can promote learning, stimulate interest in learning, enhance social skills, and shape a healthy mental state."
Little Flower radiated a gentle light: "My dear Fish, please always be confident. I love your confidence and sunshine. You are the best human child in the world."
Qi Youyu thought it made a lot of sense and nodded vigorously, promising, "Okay, I'll do my best to look good."
Yu Yu can't read, so Xiao Hua reads all the comments on the screen.
"Xiaohua, look, some people said that Uncle praised him as a 'pretty face,' they must also think that Uncle is very handsome."
Xiaohua: "Yuyu, considering the characteristics of the times, this phrase 'vase' is not a compliment, but a derogatory term."
Yu Yu: "Weren't they praising Uncle's good looks? Or did everyone think Uncle was too thin, like a vase?"
"No, it means that it's good-looking but has no other merits."
"Oh, so everyone still compliments Uncle on his good looks."
Even though she knew Yu Yu was focusing on the wrong thing, Xiao Hua still doted on her endlessly: "You're right."
Qi Youyu continued listening, but the sarcastic and mocking comments on the screen were beyond the comprehension of the two little aliens.
Until some blatant profanity appeared.
Xiao Hua stopped reading the bullet comments, and a hint of annoyance appeared on its cold, mechanical face. It thought it needed to optimize itself.
"Are they saying bad things about Uncle?" the child asked, staring wide-eyed.
"Yes." Xiaohua couldn't lie to Yuyu.
"Why?" Qi Youyu tried to guess and understand, "Is it because their uncle didn't share the candy with them, so they're angry with their uncle?"
Xiaohua denied it again.
Xiao Hua's data is being processed at lightning speed. It is collecting all publicly available information about Yan Xingli, classifying all the evaluations he has received since his debut, and conducting in-depth analysis.
A moment later, Qi Youyu got the answer.
Because of his poor acting skills and a score of only 30 on his English college entrance exam, the uncle was disliked.
After receiving the answer, Qi Youyu was stunned for a while. She scratched her head and asked curiously, "What is the college entrance examination?"
Why do we need to take the English exam?
The all-knowing Little Flower continues to answer.
It turns out that English is one of the official languages used by humans on Earth, although on the planet Cang'ai, English has long been a minority language.
However, in today's world, English remains one of the most important international languages, playing an indelible and undeniable role in promoting national economic development, spreading culture, and driving technological progress.
The National College Entrance Examination (NCEE) is an exam that determines whether young students can enter universities and obtain important learning resources.
Qi Youyu suddenly realized: "Just like Leilei has to pass the national unified exam if she wants to enter the mecha academy when she grows up."
"well."
"It turns out that everyone disliked my uncle because they thought he was too unintelligent."
Xiaohua: "Fish, don't be sad. The reason your ancient ancestor had learning disabilities is because he didn't develop 120% of his brain. If we help him develop it to 200%, he will definitely be able to master all the skills."
Qi Youyu's eyes lit up.
That's a good idea.
However, the next second, she scratched her face in distress and muttered softly, "But I didn't bring the brain development device or the brain enhancement nutrients."
Fish and Little Flower stared at each other blankly.
Before long, the child's bright eyes regained hope.
Once a problem is identified, it must be solved.
Without any hesitation, Qi Youyu made up her mind after a moment's thought.
"Then I'll make a language bracelet for my uncle."
Earth is resource-poor, and there are too few usable materials. Otherwise, she wouldn't have chosen an old relic that had long been obsolete on the planet Cang'ai.
At Xiaohua's suggestion, Qi Youyu plans to try her luck at the recycling station tomorrow.
As for Yan Xingli's acting skills, which are the most criticized aspect, Yu Yu already has a solution in mind.
She was confident that her uncle would like the two gifts.
\(^o^)/~
A note from the author:
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