Praying to Gods and Buddhas
Heavy rain poured down for three days and two nights. Rainwater dripped from the eaves into the yard, and the few flowers in the corner were bent over by the raindrops.
The raindrops hitting the tiles made a clanging sound, like the clanging of metal being struck in a blacksmith's shop.
Raindrops drifted into the inner corridor from outside the eaves, slightly dampening the edges of shoes. Water had accumulated on the steps, reaching a depth of about an inch.
The withered leaves float on the water's surface, much like fish swimming aimlessly.
He shifted his body slightly to the side, and amidst the rushing rain and the thunderous roar, came the woman's ambiguous breathing.
Lin Yueyao immediately stopped, her face stiff and pale like cold jade.
"Bang—" The door was kicked open, and the two bodies entwined on the bed stiffened, frantically picking up their clothes.
Lin Yueyao turned her back and left the room. Not long after, a man sauntered out of the room.
His chest was wide open, revealing his lean collarbones, and his skin was a healthy bronze color, the result of years of work.
The servant, his clothes slouching lazily, bowed to her, saying, "Young Miss."
Lin Yueyao stared at him with eyes as sharp as knives, her face ashen, wishing she could tear the person in front of her to pieces.
“Miss, there’s no need to look at me like that. I know you’re angry, but Madam may not feel the same way. It’s not a good feeling for a woman to be widowed. I’m only thinking of Madam. Please understand, Miss.” The servant said hypocritically.
Lin Yueyao remained silent, her brows furrowed, her hands clenched into fists behind her sleeves.
"Besides, Madam herself came to me for help, how could I possibly refuse?" the servant retorted. Lin Yueyao stared at him, her eyes brewing a storm, "I told you not to come to the backyard."
"I understand, but since Madam has spoken, how can I not listen?" The servant smiled obsequiously, pretending to be embarrassed. "Besides, this is a win-win situation. Miss is exceptionally intelligent and will surely understand this better than I do."
After saying that, he defiantly left. A servant, acting arrogantly and domineering, trampled on her head. Watching his arrogant back, Lin Yueyao knew that this person could not be allowed to live.
“Ah Yao.”
It was her mother calling her. Lin Yueyao suppressed her anger and went into the room.
After tidying herself up and changing into clean clothes, Madam Zhou looked at Lin Yueyao with a shy expression, her face slightly flushed. She sat at the table for a long while, unsure of how to begin.
"Look, this is the jewelry your mother asked someone to buy for you." Madam Zhou took out a brand-new bundle from the chest and opened it on the table. It was a style that was currently popular.
"Mother, you can stay." She was still angry and indifferent, and didn't want to stay any longer.
"What use are these things to your mother at this age?" She touched her aging face, where even makeup couldn't cover the fine lines. But Ah Yao was young and beautiful, so she had to make plans for her as soon as possible.
"But you, without a dowry, how will you gain a foothold in your husband's family after you get married?"
"Don't worry, Mother, I will never marry in this life."
She reacted like this the moment the topic came up, so Madam Zhou quickly changed the subject, "Let's not talk about this. You've been wanting to eat meat, so I got you some. It's the best beef. How about we have roasted beef tonight?"
The meat and vegetables wrapped in lotus leaves were placed on the table. The fragrance of the leaves was mixed with the aroma of beef. Even though she was craving it, Lin Yueyao still hardened her heart and said, "Mother, don't associate with him anymore."
This is the last piece of advice; her patience is running out.
Madam Zhou could not have been unaware of her good intentions. Both sides had their own difficulties, and doing so would only push them further apart.
"Ah Yao, do you know that your father met with disaster at sea?" Madam Zhou's face showed pain, and she was almost heartbroken.
"Whether he lives or dies, what does it have to do with me?" she retorted, showing little affection for this so-called father.
Madam Zhou was furious that she was so obtuse. “As long as your father is alive, I will still have a say in this household and will naturally be able to make decisions for your future.”
“But if something happens to the master, I’m not afraid of anything, but I’m worried about you the most.” Madam Zhou said earnestly, “Once the master is gone, how could the first madam let us mother and son off easily? If she marries you off to a commoner, that’s fine, but I’m afraid she will betroth you to someone else as a concubine.”
"While the old lady is still sensible and healthy, we should think about your marriage."
Madam Zhou was originally a maidservant, not even a proper concubine, and was ridiculed for her whole life, unable to hold her head high.
What if Ah Yao were to one day marry someone else as a concubine, repeating Ah Yao's life and living on counting the days? How would she possibly endure the rest of her life like that?
Lin Yueyao understood perfectly well that this was precisely why she was unwilling to place her hopes on a man.
Whether it's a father or a servant, these people are unreliable; the only person a woman can truly rely on is herself.
“Mother, I understand what you mean. I am capable of supporting you.” She held Madam Zhou’s hand in return to comfort her.
“My child, we are now trapped in this world, barely able to protect ourselves. I don’t expect you to achieve anything great, I only ask that you live a peaceful life and find a good husband. Then I can rest easy for the rest of my life.”
She still couldn't convince her mother, even though she was now capable of protecting herself; her mother still refused to believe her.
"Mother, why won't you believe me?" She didn't understand. Was it such a terrible mistake for a woman not to marry? She couldn't agree with that.
“Ah Yao, these are not things you should worry about. Just remember that everything your mother does is for your own good.”
Lin Yueyao stood up abruptly and shook off her hand. "In the end, you still want those men to offer themselves up like prostitutes."
Wagging its tail and begging for mercy.
"Shut up—" A loud slap followed. Lin Yueyao slowly turned her face to the side, her cheek red and swollen, with a clear handprint.
Madam Zhou hesitated slightly, her hands trembling with anger, her lips shaking. "I've heard these words countless times. It's one thing for others to say them, but even you want to insult me?"
The moment Lin Yueyao stepped out the door, she regretted it. She was never one to back down; she was easily swayed by gentle persuasion but not by force. Her face was burning with embarrassment, and she ran out of the room without a second thought.
No matter how her mother called after her, she ran out without a word and hid in a hiding place.
She suffered a lot of grievances from childhood to adulthood. Even when she was humiliated by the First Madam, she never cried. Even when she was struggling to make ends meet, she never complained.
She only had a few words with her mother today, and her mother hit her because of a despicable man.
When I was young and didn't know any better, I had no playmates, so I thought of hiding in the closet and waiting for my mother to come and find me.
But after waiting for a long time, her mother didn't appear; she had fallen asleep in the closet.
She didn't know how much time had passed when the door opened and a man and a woman entered the room, waking her up.
To avoid getting trapped in the closet, she didn't lock it, leaving a tiny gap the size of a finger, large enough to see everything happening inside the room.
The wardrobe faced the bed. As a child, she saw her mother pull a man onto the bed. As they lay back, the man's face was revealed; it was not her father.
The man and woman, disregarding all propriety and shame, engaged in sexual intercourse, which made Lin Yueyao almost vomit.
After finally waiting for the two of them to finish, she carefully stepped out of the closet, fell seriously ill, and then became taciturn.
That time I was sick, I had a fever all over my body, and images of men and women entangled in passion kept flashing through my mind. I couldn't shake them off, and it felt like I had eaten leftover food, making me feel nauseous.
Disgusting, that's the feeling. Her mother served men like a dog in bed. Her mother was definitely not that kind of person.
As she grew older, she belatedly came to understand the principles of human relations and the feelings between men and women.
But this incident from her childhood became a lingering shadow in her heart.
He developed a lukewarm personality and was determined to escape this place.
The rain was getting heavier, and the sound of the rain was mixed with my mother's anxious calls. If I didn't stay hidden, my mother would worry.
Just then, someone from the old lady's entourage arrived, and she braved the rain to go outside.
"Why are you getting soaked in the rain, Miss? It would be bad if you caught a cold." When the nanny saw that her clothes were wet, she hurriedly ordered someone to find clean clothes and also sent a doctor.
She didn't mention the argument at all, but the clear handprint on her face was obvious to the old woman. She saw through it but didn't say anything, and quietly sent someone to get the medicine.
"What is it, Granny?" Lin Yueyao asked, snapping out of her daze.
"The old lady wants Miss and Madam to go to Jingchan Temple tomorrow to worship Buddha and chant sutras," the nanny explained. Lin Yueyao understood the situation. Master Lin was away on official business, and with the heavy rains these past few days, she heard that he had encountered a shipwreck at sea. Many ships had sunk, but there was no news of Master Lin's ship.
The old lady was so worried that she couldn't eat or sleep. That's why she called everyone in the family to go to the temple to pray for Master Lin and to ward off disasters.
"I understand." Turning to leave, the old woman added, "The old lady intends to stay at the temple for a few days. Please make preparations as soon as possible, Miss and Madam."
She nodded, and the old woman took her leave. Turning back, she met Madam Zhou's gaze, but Lin Yueyao said nothing as she passed by and went into her room.
The rain was torrential, and the villages and towns of Ba County were swept away by the floods, destroying crops and grains. The relief grain sent by the imperial court was already on its way, but people outside said that the distributed grain was far from enough.
This is not something she should worry about. When the people are in trouble, the ministers in the court should offer advice and solutions to serve the country.
Raindrops streamed through the window and into the car, pulling back the curtains to cover a patch of spring scenery.
The carriage stopped, and the driver outside reined in the horses; we had arrived.
The abbot and his entourage waited outside the gate early in the morning. The old lady walked at the head of the group, with the first wife on her left and her trusted nanny on her right.
Behind them were young ladies and gentlemen, and at the very back were Madam Zhou and several concubines.
Originally, the First Madam did not want to bring her concubines, but the Old Madam said that staying at home would only lead to jealousy and infighting, and it would be better to go to the temple to find some peace and quiet.
So they came with their families. The abbot prepared a meditation room early in the morning. The old lady preferred quiet, so she stayed with the first lady so that he could take care of her at any time.
The young masters and ladies lived separately, while the concubines lived in the same place.
After a long and tiring journey, there was no need to rush to worship Buddha, so everyone rested and wandered around.
Lin Yueyao left the room. Jingchan Temple was located in a remote area with beautiful scenery.
"Miss, Miss, Madam instructed you not to wander off."
Behind the flower bushes, a maid chased after a pink-clad girl. The girl, holding flowers in her hands, bumped into someone. Looking up, she saw it was Lin Yueyao.
Lin Yueyao narrowed her eyes slightly; it was her fifth younger sister.
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