Chapter 75 Doubts
There was a familiar herbal scent at the tip of her nose. Wen Youqing opened her eyes, and the moment she regained consciousness, the first thing she felt was the pain of her broken bones and flesh, and then there was an indescribable feeling of emptiness in her lower abdomen.
She opened her eyes and looked blankly at the unfamiliar tent ceiling. The brocade was embroidered with intricate lotus patterns, which was not the simple and elegant green gauze tent at home that she remembered.
"Aqing? Are you awake?"
A deep, concerned voice echoed in her ears. She turned her head and saw a young man in moon-white clothes sitting beside the bed. He was handsome, with a look of weariness between his brows, but the tenderness in his eyes as he looked at her was enough to bring tears to her eyes.
Cui Junji? Alarm bells rang in her heart. Wen Youqing subconsciously tried to curl up, but it agitated an unknown wound, causing her to gasp in pain.
"Don't move," the man quickly reached out and gently pressed her shoulders, letting her lie down again. His movements were skillful and natural. "You are still very weak and need to rest." His palms were warm and strong, with an unquestionable sense of control.
Wen Youqing frowned, her mind a mess. She remembered who she was: her parents were alive and well, and her family was harmonious. Her memory was a little hazy at this point, but the identity of "Wen Youqing" was clear.
But she was only sixteen. What had just happened? Her last memory seemed to be of her own study, practicing calligraphy, the sun shining brightly... and then what? How did she open her eyes and find herself in this strange place, covered in wounds, with such a strange yet intimate man guarding her bedside?
"Are you Cui Junji?" Her voice was dry and hoarse, with obvious vigilance and confusion. "Where...where am I? What's wrong with me?" She tried to recall, but couldn't remember anything.
Cui Junji looked at the pure confusion and girlish vigilance in her eyes, and the huge rock that had been hanging in his heart finally fell, but it brought out even deeper sorrow.
The forgetfulness powder took effect, and she truly forgot, all the pain of her adult life, including him, her children, and the hatred she had for him. She remained in the most innocent and carefree age, in the time before he had forced his way into her life.
He suppressed his surging emotions, and a perfect smile appeared on his face, a mixture of heartache and relief. He held her hand and said softly, "Aqing, don't be afraid. I am Cui Junji, your husband. This is our home. You were assassinated by my political enemy a few days ago. You hit your head and were unconscious for several days. I was really scared. The doctor said that it might affect some of your recent memories. I didn't expect..."
He sighed, and gently stroked the back of her hand with his fingertips. "We have been married for seven years, and I didn't expect that you would forget about me, your husband."
"Seven years? Get married?" Wen Youqing's eyes suddenly widened, looking at him in disbelief. She quickly took a look at the room's decor. It was gorgeous and exquisite, with a house-guarding beast on the eaves outside the window. It was definitely not her own home. "We got married? When did it happen? I... I have no recollection of it at all..." Her face flushed with embarrassment and panic. She tried to recall, but her memories after the age of sixteen seemed to have been forcibly gouged out, leaving only a blank and a vague headache.
Wen Youqing tried to pull her hand back, but Cui Junji held it even tighter.
"It's okay," Cui Junji said calmly, and the lie he had already woven came out smoothly, "We got married shortly after your nineteenth birthday. Don't worry, the bad guys have been dealt with by me, and this kind of thing will not happen again in the future." There was doting in his tone, but his eyes were fixed on her reaction.
She looked at the man in front of her who claimed to be her husband. He was handsome, gentle, and seemed to be deeply in love, but her heart was empty. She had no memory of him, not even a hint of familiarity.
This feels so weird.
In the following days, Wen Youqing began his "recuperation" life in a state of half-belief and half-doubt.
Cui Junji took meticulous care of her, personally taking care of her medicine and diet, helping her walk in the courtyard when the weather was fine, and staying by her bedside at night until she fell asleep.
He knew all of her "habits" by heart. He knew she was afraid of bitterness, so he always prepared sour apricots instead of candied fruit when she took medicine; he knew she tended to get cold hands and feet at night, so he warmed up the hot water bottle early; he even knew that when she inadvertently hinted that she wanted to read, he would accurately pull out a storybook that might interest her from the bookshelf.
This thoughtfulness gradually dispelled Wen Youqing's doubts. Perhaps he really was her husband? Otherwise, how could he understand her so well?
Moreover, the servants in this mansion would respectfully address her as "Madam" when they saw her, and their words and actions were flawless.
Sometimes, she would tentatively ask about the "past," such as, "How is my family now?"
Cui Junji always managed to handle the situation calmly, using carefully woven, heartwarming details to smooth things over: "Although my father-in-law hasn't been promoted, he's still a fourth-rank inspector. If you miss home, we can go back another day to visit."
He spoke with such sincerity and tenderness in his eyes that Wen Youqing couldn't find any loopholes. However, occasionally, when he turned away, she would catch a glimpse of an indescribable complex emotion flashing across his eyes, like heaviness, or like... pain?
But when she looked closely, he had regained his gentle and gentlemanly demeanor.
She asked tentatively: "Are you unhappy?"
Cui Junji was startled at first, then a smile blossomed in his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. Then he kissed her closely, from lips to chin, and then he heard her sigh softly in his neck: "Aqing, you are the only one who understands me best."
As for the reason, it was probably because he sighed that she had forgotten all the good things that happened between them.
Another thing that confused her was her own body. She would stiffen for a moment when Cui Junji suddenly approached her, though she would quickly force herself to relax. In the dead of night, she would unconsciously touch her lower abdomen, where there were no wounds, yet it always felt empty.
There was even one time when Cui Junji wanted to put his outer robe on her from behind, but her elbows subconsciously pushed back, making a defensive gesture, and both of them were stunned.
"I'm... I'm sorry," Wen Youqing apologized hurriedly, her face pale. "I don't know what happened..."
A hint of gloom flashed across Cui Junji's eyes, but he quickly concealed it, smiling and holding her shoulders. "It's okay, it must be the aftereffects of the fall. I scared you. It's my fault. I shouldn't have gotten close to her so suddenly."
Cui Junji gently held her in his arms. Wen Youqing's body was a little stiff at first, but gradually softened in his steady heartbeat and warm embrace.
She could smell the crisp scent of agarwood on him. Strangely, it didn't seem completely unfamiliar. She actually liked it. It was the old Ersuju that her mother had forbidden her to use.
Muscle memory and subconscious reactions all silently tell of the forgotten past. But the gentle trap woven by Cui Junji is too perfect. He cleverly resolves or conceals all details that may arouse suspicion.
So gradually, Wen Youqing relaxed her tense nerves.
Wen Youqing is like a bird carefully raised in a glass cover. She has a comfortable environment and is well cared for, but she always feels that the world outside the cover is hazy and unclear.
She began to remember what she had learned before, and took on the role of "Mrs. Cui" well, learning to accept the existence of Cui Junji as her husband, and attributed the blank seven years and the occasional strange feelings in her heart to the sequelae of the "accident".
However, in the middle of the night when no one was paying attention, she would occasionally wake up from bizarre dreams. There were no specific people or things in the dreams, only an endless feeling of falling and heart-wrenching sobs.
When she woke up, her pillow was damp and cold. Cui Junji beside her always woke up immediately, hugged her tightly, and whispered comfort. His embrace was warm and solid, but it could never dispel the rootless chill in her heart.
"What's wrong?" Cui Junji asked softly.
"...chest pain." Wen Youqing made up an excuse.
Unexpectedly, Cui Junji immediately stood up and prepared to call a doctor, but Wen Youqing hurriedly stopped him, "No need, just fall asleep and you'll be fine."
Cui Junji felt something was wrong and was about to say something when he was pulled back by Wen Youqing.
After thinking it over again and again, Cui Junji finally told her about her miscarriage.
Wen Youqing's expression was blank for a moment, but her heart remained calm. She subconsciously placed her hand on her stomach, "Was it also the time when your political enemies plotted against you?"
"Well," Cui Junji said in a muffled voice, "It's my fault. I didn't take good care of you." Cui Junji held her in his arms and comforted her softly, "You must see a doctor tomorrow. You can't be afraid to see a doctor, okay?"
Wen Youqing agreed, but after lying down again, she still couldn't figure it out. Finally, she asked the crux of all her doubts: "Cui Junji, why did you marry me?"
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