I live in an unfortunate family. My parents are divorced and my mother abandoned me and my father and went away to a foreign country.
After that, my father became addicted to alcohol. Every time he got drunk, the longing for my mother would come to his mind. Then he would go crazy and beat me mercilessly.
He waved his fists again and again, ruthlessly crushing Wen Wanning's remaining love for me.
Later, I gradually understood my mother's choice and became numb. Sometimes I even wondered why he didn't just beat me to death so that I could be freed from this painful life.
When I was nine years old, it was the darkest year of my life, but also the best year.
Because in that year, I met that little boy.
The moment my stepfather kicked me out of the house, a snowstorm was raging outside and I thought to myself, maybe I would just freeze to death in this snow and ice.
However, the little boy appeared in front of me like an angel. He handed me a steaming hot bun and put his clothes on my shivering body.
That night, I ate steamed buns and looked at him, while he quietly looked at the snow falling all over the sky...
Later, we became very good friends, or to be more precise, I became his little follower.
Oh yeah, I asked him what his name was.
He smiled and said his name was Lin Feng, Lin for double trees, and Feng for maple leaves.
......
At that time, I was only in the fourth grade and he was already in the fifth grade. After every get out of class, I would follow him home together, but he always sent me home first and never let me go to his house.
We went out together, and although we were penniless, one time you suddenly grabbed me and said to me seriously, "Your birthday is coming soon, what birthday present do you want?"
I smiled and answered you: "Lin Feng, I want to take a photo with you."
Later I understood why you went out early and came back late during that period.
In the countryside, there are very few photo studios and the prices are quite high. For kids like us, they are astronomical figures.
You saved money little by little by picking up bottles, and finally saved enough money to take me to take a photo of the two of us.
The owner of that photo studio actually took advantage of our young age and said that we could only take one photo and would charge extra for more than that.
We had no money, so we had to take a photo, and that photo became your birthday gift to me.
Since then, I have been following you like a little tail every day.
We spent that not-so-cold winter together. To be more precise, it was because of you that we didn’t feel cold. And we welcomed the spring, a spring that belonged to the two of us.
In the summer, we go fishing in the river, climb trees to enjoy the cool, and play hide-and-seek...
In the evening, we went to the fields to pick watermelons together, and then lay on the roof to watch the moon.
I vaguely remember you tilting your head with a youthful look on your face, and you shyly asked me, "Zhang Wan, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
I plucked up the courage to tell you, "I want to marry Lin Feng." That was the first time I called you by your name instead of calling you brother.
However, you just smiled faintly.
Perhaps, in your eyes, this is just a joke of an innocent little girl.
But for me, this is the truest wish in my heart, and I have never given up.
At that time, I was impatient and followed you every day, constantly shouting, "Lin Feng, I, Zhang Wan, will marry you when I grow up."
I no longer call you brother, because in my heart, you are not only a brother, but also the person I want to marry.
At first, you may feel impatient, but later you may get used to it or accept it.
You stopped stopping me, maybe you felt that children's love was not affection.
Just like that, I followed you every day, loudly declaring my love for you. Even the auntie you often went to buy groceries with knew me. Every time she saw me, she would say, "Lin Feng's wife is here."
Later, when I was in junior high school, my mother found me and took me away from this place.
There is nothing worth staying in this broken family.
The only thing I can't forget is that boy, the boy who gave me buns on a snowy day.
The funny thing is, we didn't even get to say goodbye.
My biological mother pulled me away, and I cried and tried to break free. They thought I was reluctant to leave this place.
However, only I know how much I want to see you again, Lin Feng.
How I want to tell you loudly: "Lin Feng, can you wait for me? When I become better, I will come back to find you. I want to marry you, Lin Feng..."
I haven't forgotten, Lin Feng, I really remember everything deeply...
That summer, a little girl named Zhang Wan disappeared.
After that, the next time I heard from you was in high school. Even our reunion made me deeply feel the wonder of fate.
When I was 17 years old, I stepped into the campus with my mother who had returned to China. I recognized you standing under the national flag stand at first sight.
Looking at your lonely figure standing under the flag stand.
Looking at your indifferent profile, looking at your cold eyes.
I stopped the tears that were about to fall. My mother came over and asked me what was wrong, but I didn't answer.
Because only I know that the boy in front of me is the one I have been waiting for for many years.
He is the source of my motivation when I am in a foreign country. Whenever I can’t hold on any longer, I hold his photo and grit my teeth and get through it.
I told myself again and again: Hold on, you have to marry Lin Feng!
Later, I wondered why I hadn't heard from you since I left...
I tried every possible means and mobilized all the connections I could.
Go check your background and find out the truth.
I fainted at home. It turns out that when the pain reaches a certain level, one will really faint.
The little boy who loves to laugh.
The little boy who always comforted me.
The little boy who took good care of me.
The little boy who cherished me and took good care of me.
He turned out to be an orphan.
At that moment, my heart broke.
His life is obviously so difficult, but he always comforts me and encourages me to look forward to the future.
I felt so much regret and hated myself for leaving him and going abroad, even though I could have always been by his side.
When I saw him in person, my eyes were already blurred with tears and my throat seemed to be blocked, making it impossible for me to speak.
But at the same time, I am also extremely fortunate that I can meet him again...
However, I don’t know how to face him or what kind of mentality I should have when meeting him…
I tried every possible way, and later even went to beg my mother.
Luckily, she didn’t care about my condition, only that I was trying.
In this world, except that boy, it seems that no one really cares about my life.
So, I wanted to do my best to make it up to him and asked my mother to transfer me to his class.
When I stepped into the class with joy of meeting him again, I saw him at first sight.
He still sat by the window, with his head down, concentrating on his homework.
When the teacher called my name, he raised his eyes... However, why were his eyes so calm, without any emotion?
Did he forget me? Did he forget the little girl who watched the snow with him, the little girl who shouted that she wanted to marry him?
Oh, I forgot, now my name is no longer Zhang Wan, but Song Wanting.
The dark-skinned little girl has grown up and is no longer the tomboy who followed him.
But fortunately, he didn't have a deskmate, and that happened to be the case at that time, so we naturally became deskmates.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter whether he remembers or not.
As long as he is still himself, that is enough.
Let’s get to know each other again. Hello, Lin Feng, my name is Song Wanting, and I’m very happy to meet you.
No, actually my name is Zhang Wan. I really want to tell you my real name in person, but I can’t open my mouth.
I don't know how to answer when you ask me why I left without saying goodbye.
So I can only do this...
Later, we came together naturally.
Just when I thought I could stay like this with you forever.
In my senior year of high school, my mother came and told me that I was going abroad because she had found a new home, Uncle Wen.
I remember the last time I walked side by side with you on the street, you smiled and asked me to buy that hairpin.
But I couldn't bear to tell him the news, so I just regarded it as my final farewell.
I secretly hoped that I would look for him when I became better.
You stood under the starry sky, your smile as bright as the stars, and asked me about my future plans.
I answered without hesitation: "Marry you..."
At that moment, a trace of barely perceptible pain flashed across your face. Although you concealed it well, that momentary expression was still captured sharply by me.
At that moment, I felt mixed emotions, not knowing whether it was joy or sadness.
It seems that no matter what emotion I am in, I will feel happy, but I just take this opportunity to break up with you.
That night, watching your lonely figure walking away, I longed to rush up to you, hold you, and tell you the truth.
Especially when you turned and looked at me, that look pierced my heart like a sword.
However, I don't want you to wait too long for me, please forgive my selfishness.
I long to marry you, Lin Feng, once I become good enough.
When I made up my mind to become your bride gloriously, I worked very hard.
All the difficulties and hardships during this period were supported by my firm belief in marrying you.
I was on the brink of collapse during discussions about cooperation, suffered all kinds of grievances in the workplace, and endured tremendous pressure from shareholders, but I persevered and survived.
I have always disguised myself as an invincible strong woman, but who knows that under the strong appearance, there is a fragile heart.
The real me will only hold our photo and cry silently when it is late at night and everyone is asleep.
Only in front of you, Lin Feng, will I take off all my disguises and become that fragile little girl...
How happy I was when I was on the road to success and when I heard the news about you.
Especially when I found out that you were still single, I was so happy that I wanted to fly. I wanted to run to you immediately and walk into the palace of marriage with you.
At the same time, I felt an unprecedented sense of pride in my heart.
I feel that I have made you wait for so many years.
At that moment, my heart was filled with emotion and pride, as if I had the whole world.
However, looking back now, perhaps all this was just wishful thinking on my part.
I was anxious to come back and look forward to meeting you, but I didn't expect the Jennifer family to start a business war at this time, and I was too busy to handle it.
When the assistant told me that Lin Feng was shopping with a person named Yun Yuqing, I was struck by lightning and my mind went blank.
The business war was at its most intense and it was difficult for me to escape.
Fortunately, he and she didn't seem to go any further. At that moment, I felt complicated and difficult to describe.
Later, the secretary told me that you were always surrounded by women, and I couldn't help feeling jealous.
I heard that there was a woman named Xiao Qingya who was very close to him. At that moment, I admit that I was jealous.
I sent people to teach the Xiao family a lesson, originally intending to just give them a slight punishment and then leave it at that.
Who would have thought that this group of people were blinded by profit and actually kidnapped Xiao Qingya.
But I clearly said to attack Xiaoshi Group, why did they attack Xiao Qingya directly? Now that I think about it, someone must have taken the opportunity to cause trouble.
Just as I expected, it was that guy Ye Yuanshan who asked Ye Linyun to kidnap Xiao Qingya.
Fortunately, nothing serious happened, but when I heard that Lin Feng was injured, I was extremely anxious and wanted to fly back to him immediately.
However, the opponent noticed something was wrong and attacked more and more fiercely.
They followed the clues and found Lin Feng. Fortunately, I was very ruthless and they were too busy to do anything to Lin Feng.
....
In fact, I was not panicked at this time. I thought Lin Feng's love for me could last for a few years, but I overlooked a very serious problem.
Why did Lin Feng want to start a company? Why did he, who was originally a quiet and peaceful person, suddenly want to start a career?
The moment I heard the news about Lin Feng, I seemed to feel my heart stop.
Half heaven, half hell.
Heaven is that the company of the boy I like is going to be successfully listed. He is working hard to become better and live a better life. I am sincerely happy for him.
Hell is the girl that the media is talking about all the time.
I see.
I panicked at that moment and rushed back to China without stopping.
But I found that he was gone, so I went to his community, but found that he was not there either. I kept asking around and tracking him, and finally met him in that small town.
When I heard the voice "Lin Feng", my heart seemed to stop beating at that moment.
I looked at the couple on the first floor. The girl was very pretty, with clear eyes. She hugged his arms like a little girl.
I couldn't look directly into her eyes, her innocence seemed to burn through my dirty heart.
I hesitated at that moment. I didn't know what the consequences would be if I went to meet him now.
I have had various dreams about meeting Lin Feng.
But I only overlooked this one.
I seem to have forgotten that he has a girlfriend.
I thought the reason I didn't recognize him was that I didn't want to disturb his peaceful life.
In fact, only I know that he may have forgotten me a long time ago. I am afraid that I will destroy the obsession that I have had for so many years with my own hands.
Later I watched the two of them leave, holding hands, they looked so happy.
A drop of water slid down my cheek. I didn’t know if it was rain or tears, but it tasted a little salty.
Later, I still couldn't give up, so I followed them and witnessed their love.
Watching her standing in the sea of flowers and walking towards Lin Feng step by step.
Yes, who wouldn’t like her who is so innocent?
It turns out that I was too self-righteous.
It turns out that I was too self-indulgent.
It turns out that he had forgotten about me a long time ago.
I was ready to leave, and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with my regrets, but I never expected that a piece of news would bring a turning point.
The Ye family openly sued Lin Feng’s company, and I even saw Lin Feng being forced into a desperate situation, and Lin Feng fell into a shortage of funds.
At that moment, I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I found him and brought money with me.
When he really stood in front of me, I didn't know how to start.
I suppressed my urge to cry. I wanted to tell him:
"Lin Feng, look at me, I am Zhang Wan."
"I'm the girl who has been with you since you were little, the girl you rescued on a snowy night, and your high school girlfriend."
But countless thoughts in my heart told me, "Calm down, he doesn't know you now, and you dare not recognize each other."
I pretended to be calm and talked to him about cooperation. Fortunately, he didn't recognize me. But I found that the person in front of me was completely different from the Lin Feng in my memory.
That shy older brother seemed to have changed.
Especially when I saw the decadent look in his eyes, I was overwhelmed by heartache at that moment. I wanted to hug him and comfort him, but unfortunately I was not qualified to do so.
I can only support him silently.
I found that I liked him more and more.
Later, through our collaborations, I was impressed by his wild imagination.
I think it's good to just stay with him like this, as a friend.
But I still couldn't control the urge to get closer to him subconsciously, so I decided to set up my office opposite his so that I could just look at him every day.
I often stare blankly at the group photo in my hand. Once, Lin Feng walked in and almost saw it, but fortunately he didn’t notice anything.
After another conversation, I was impressed by his talent and really admired him. It turned out that he was really outstanding.
I had been thinking for a long time before I could ask the question that had been hidden in my mind for a long time.
"Lin Feng, have you ever loved someone else?"
Just as I was about to confess, I saw the girl appear.
She just stood there quietly, her eyes seemed ethereal.
I admit that I was really scared at that moment.
I passed by her and heard her say that her favorite dish was the braised pork made by Lin Feng.
I am extremely sad.
Later, when I learned from Shen Yunche that he had broken up, I was so happy that I could hardly contain myself.
I thought that after she left, Lin Feng could finally take a good look at me.
Unexpectedly, I could never get into his heart no matter what.
So sad.
When I learned that he was going to Jinling, I panicked because I was afraid that they would rekindle their old love.
But I was powerless and could do nothing.
When Uncle Fang told me that my company was besieged by that group of people in Europe.
I look at the moonlight outside the window, and all I can think of is you.
Only you, Lin Feng.
......
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