Chapter 142 Yingying, I wish you a bright future...
Chapter 142
Meng Yingying closed her eyes. She wanted to escape, but now she knew she couldn't.
It couldn't be hidden any longer.
Because Jane in the capital is still waiting for her reply.
The tenderness she showed suggested that they had a good relationship before, but that changed with her words.
The feelings between them will gradually fade away.
Meng Yingying lowered her eyes, not daring to look Qi Donghan in the eye. "Qi Donghan, I might be going to study in Moscow."
Five years.
Upon hearing this, Qi Donghan froze, as if he had been struck on the head with a stick, unable to utter a single word for a long time.
Five years —
His mind went blank, and all the passion and intimacy, and the skin that had just been pressed together, suddenly turned cold.
"How long did you say...?"
His throat was a little dry, and his voice was so hoarse it didn't sound like his own.
Tears streamed down Meng Yingying's face. She didn't dare to look up and only repeated, "Five years. The Vaganova Academy in Moscow, the highest school of ballet. If I go, it will take five years."
The room fell eerily quiet instantly; even the howling wind outside seemed to fade into the distance.
Qi Dong took a deep breath, turned over and sat up with his back to her, his shoulders tense.
The moonlight streamed in through the window, casting his shadow on the wall, making him appear to blend into the surface.
The air fell silent instantly.
Meng Yingying reached out her hand, but then it fell back down.
They looked at each other in silence.
It was Qi Donghan who spoke first.
"You'd already made up your mind?" His voice was low, trembling, and his eyes were red. "Did you come back to inform me, or to say goodbye?"
Meng Yingying's heart skipped a beat. She reached out to grab his wrist, but as soon as her fingertips touched it, he instinctively shook her off.
We've become estranged.
This was Meng Yingying's first thought. All the previous passion and intimacy vanished in an instant.
Realizing this, Meng Yingying's tears fell even harder. She choked back sobs as she explained, "Qi Donghan, I haven't made a decision. If I had, I would have gone to Moscow with Jane directly. Instead of coming back home from the capital now to discuss it with you..."
At this point, Meng Yingying sniffed, forcing herself to calm down, "Qi Donghan, I'm reluctant to part with you, but I'm also reluctant to part with the stage..."
"That's why I've been back for so long, and I haven't dared to tell you at all."
Otherwise, she would have told her everything from the moment she got home.
"discuss?"
Qi Dong turned around sharply, his eyes red and his voice hoarse, "Five years! Not five days! Meng Yingying, I've been here guarding this little courtyard, guarding the chicks, guarding the grape trellis. We have everything here, except you."
He became more and more anxious as he spoke, his voice rising to his throat and changing tone, but he still suppressed his temper and forced himself not to growl out, not wanting to frighten her.
However, Qi Donghan felt mostly sadness and heartbreak.
He looked up at her, and those eyes, which were usually full of tenderness, were now black, with a hint of death and coldness.
"Yingying, what about me? What am I? What am I, Qi Donghan, in your eyes?"
Seeing him like this, Meng Yingying's last shred of reason vanished.
She rushed over, hugged his waist tightly, pressed her face against his back, her tears soaking her shirt, burning his heart.
"Qi Donghan, Qi Donghan..." she cried, sobbing uncontrollably. "I didn't want to leave you. I wanted to take you with me, but that's impossible. I don't know what to do. I can't bear to leave either of you."
She couldn't bear to part with Qi Donghan.
However, she also didn't want to give up this opportunity to further her studies.
This opportunity will allow her to reach the pinnacle of ballet.
That was the only peak in her career.
Once you miss it, it's gone forever.
Qi Donghan's chest heaved violently, his fists clenched so tightly they cracked.
He really wanted to yell, "Don't go, Yingying, stay home with me!"
But when he turned around and saw her tear-streaked face, he swallowed the words back.
Qi Donghan's mind flashed back to the image of her shining on stage just now.
That kind of light cannot be contained in this small courtyard.
They were also beyond the control of the Harbin Municipal Cultural Troupe.
He suddenly deflated, as if his bones had been removed, and he lost all his energy and spirit.
Qi Donghan raised his hand and covered his eyes, his voice so low it was almost inaudible, "Yingying, I'm afraid... afraid you'll fly too high and forget me."
Five years.
From Harbin to Moscow.
That's tens of thousands of kilometers away; even meeting them is a luxury.
He was afraid that Meng Yingying would completely forget him.
The outside world is so wonderful, what is Qi Donghan compared to that?
Meng Yingying cried even harder, her arms around his waist tightening as if he would disappear if she let go. "No."
She said each word slowly and deliberately, "Qi Donghan, I will not forget you, and I cannot bear to forget you."
Upon hearing this...
After a long while, Qi Donghan sighed deeply, placed his hand on the back of her head, and pressed her head against his heart.
The jumps there were rapid and heavy, but gradually became steady.
He spoke in a hoarse voice, as if he had finally made a decision, and he let out a heavy sigh, "Go."
Meng Yingying looked up abruptly, tears still clinging to her eyelashes, still somewhat incredulous, "You... what did you say?"
I said—you go.
Once you say "Go to Moscow," it's not so difficult anymore.
Qi Donghan's voice became calmer than ever before, "Yingying, go fly, fly to a higher place, and see the outside world."
Meng Yingying was speechless. She was stunned, and a crystal tear still clung to the corner of her eye.
She wanted to ask why.
Why did you suddenly agree?
As if knowing what she was thinking, Qi Donghan pressed his forehead against hers, his voice low and hoarse, almost incoherent, "Because, Meng Yingying, I—" like you.
I love you more than you love me.
He simply couldn't bring himself to say it; it was too bittersweet and too cheesy.
Qi Donghan would never have said such a thing in his entire life.
He looked down at her, his eyes restrained and restrained, "Because I like you, because I love you, I will not cut off your wings."
Meng Yingying's eyes widened, and she murmured, "Qi Donghan."
How lucky she is to have met a lover like Qi Donghan.
Qi Donghan pointed to his heart and said slowly and deliberately, "Yingying, I'm letting you go, but you have to come back in five years. Remember, your husband is stationed in Harbin. His name is Qi Donghan."
"Also remember that the grapes we planted by the wall have grown up and are waiting for you to come back and eat them."
Meng Yingying's tears instantly burst forth. She rushed over and hugged his neck tightly, crying until her whole body trembled.
“I remember, how could I forget, Qi Donghan? I swear I will come back in five years. If I don’t come back, you—you—”
Bursting into tears.
"I'll chase you all the way to Moscow and carry you back."
Qi Donghan replied, his voice choked with emotion but with a smile, his arms tightening as if he wanted to embed her into his bones.
He turned around and wiped away her tears, cleaning them little by little, without minding the mess. He even took out a handkerchief to wipe her snot.
"Shut it all up."
Meng Yingying, who had been crying very sadly, suddenly stopped crying after hearing these words.
A snot bubble popped out of her nose with a "plop" sound.
Their eyes met.
I don't know who started laughing first.
"So ugly."
Qi Dong laughed and said, but he still dutifully wiped her clean and examined her carefully, "So beautiful."
He was the one who said it was ugly, but he didn't mind the dirt and said it was beautiful after cleaning it.
This left Meng Yingying feeling uneasy. "Qi Donghan, have you really agreed?"
"You're no longer objecting?"
Qi Donghan nodded and used a handkerchief to wipe her cat-like face clean little by little. "Yingying, to be honest, I was against it at first. I was worried that if you left, you wouldn't come back and wouldn't want me anymore."
Qi Donghan found Meng Yingying with all the strength he had ever possessed.
However, if Meng Yingying doesn't return, it will be a fatal blow to Qi Donghan.
He had also had dark thoughts, such as keeping her.
They did everything they could, by any means necessary, to keep her here.
But later, seeing her crying her eyes out, expressing her reluctance and longing, I realized...
He saw her choice and her sadness.
Qi Donghan wanted to do this once, for the last time.
He let go this time to fulfill her dream, and he would never let go again.
"But later," Qi Donghan wiped away the last tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb, "I realized that more than you wanting me to leave, I didn't want you to cry."
Meng Yingying was born bright and cheerful; she would shine like a little sun on the stage.
Her future shouldn't be confined to this small space, this tiny courtyard, consumed by daily meals, her husband, children, and the kitchen.
“Yingying, I’m thinking—” Qi Donghan murmured, “More than you being with me, I hope you can shine brightly on stage. You would definitely be happy then.”
He had seen Meng Yingying on stage.
So how could he bear to break her wings with his own hands?
Everyone knows Qi Dong is tough; if he says he doesn't want to, can't, or is reluctant, then he's not going to.
Then Meng Yingying will most likely stay with him.
But this would make Meng Yingying unhappy.
She will be unhappy.
Qi Donghan's greatest wish is for her to live a happy, carefree, peaceful, and smooth life.
If she can be happy and pursue her dreams.
It's alright if he suffers a little, it's not a bad thing.
After hearing his words, Meng Yingying almost burst into tears.
The two embraced tightly, and in the moonlight, their shadows overlapped, becoming one.
Tears, sweat, and lingering desire mingled together, slowly warming the cold room.
Qi Donghan lowered his head and kissed her, his kiss rough yet tender, like a promise, or like a stamp.
He added softly, "Yingying, I can wait five years."
Before meeting Meng Yingying, he had waited for many years, and it wasn't that he hadn't waited at all.
“Okay.” Meng Yingying choked up, looking up at him, but her smile was brighter than ever before. “Actually, it doesn’t necessarily have to be five years.”
Qi Donghan looked over.
Meng Yingying whispered, "If I learn quickly and graduate early, I might be able to come back in three or four years. If I'm talented, I might graduate in two years, but that's just an ideal situation."
Qi Donghan felt a sense of unexpected turn of events, like a sudden glimmer of hope appearing after a dark period.
His usually dull eyes suddenly lit up with an astonishing brightness. "Really?"
"Really." Meng Yingying raised her hand and made a pinky promise with his big hand. "I will definitely come back as soon as possible, Qi Donghan."
She tilted her head back and kissed his chin. "I won't keep you waiting too long."
It's like having accepted the worst possible outcome, only to be pleasantly surprised by the result.
This made Qi Donghan and his men feel more alert; even though they hadn't slept, they weren't sleepy at all.
He kissed and hugged Meng Yingying, which resulted in the two of them shamelessly having sex again.
When Meng Yingying woke up again, the sun was already high in the sky.
She was somewhat disoriented, wondering what year it was. She looked down at herself and saw that she had been changed into clean clothes.
They even changed the bed sheets.
Meng Yingying felt a sense of satisfaction. She rolled over on the bed, and the biggest problem she had encountered was solved as well.
Qi Donghan agreed.
She neither gave up on Qi Donghan nor on pursuing further studies in Moscow.
For Meng Yingying, this was already the best possible outcome.
But even after dealing with Qi Donghan, there's still Zhao Yueru to go.
Actually, Meng Yingying also found it difficult to bring up the topic with Yue Ru. Not knowing how to start, she tossed and turned on the bed in frustration.
In the end, however, it became a situation that had to be addressed.
She can't escape Qi Donghan's side, and she can't escape Yue Ru's side either.
She is still in her postpartum period.
If I leave now, and it's for five years, I wonder if Yue Ru could accept it?
In fact, Meng Yingying was quite nervous.
After rolling around on the kang (a heated brick bed) for the tenth time, she finally made a decision and scrambled to her feet.
"Even an ugly daughter-in-law has to meet her in-laws eventually."
Meng Yingying patted her face in the mirror, changed her clothes, and dragged her still weak waist to the next row of houses—Zhao Yueru's house.
Her timing was unfortunate; Zhou Jingsong had already gone to work.
Zhao's mother also went to the supply and marketing cooperative to buy vegetables.
The entire courtyard was quiet.
Meng Yingying tightened her clothes before knocking on the door.
Zhao Yueru was so focused on comforting the child that she couldn't speak, so she coughed lightly.
After receiving instructions, Meng Yingying pushed open the door and went inside.
As soon as you enter, you are greeted by a strong smell of milk, brown sugar, and ginger.
Zhao Yueru was resting against the headboard during her postpartum confinement period, holding a rosy-cheeked baby in her arms. Her hair was haphazardly tied up, and her face was sallow. She was somewhat surprised and delighted to see her. "Yingying, when did you get back?"
As he spoke, he made a move to jump down and pour water for Meng Yingying, but Meng Yingying stopped him, saying, "Don't get up, just lie down."
Looking at Zhao Yueru, whose face was sallow and whose eyes had dark circles, I could see...
She looked much more haggard, and was no longer the flamboyant person she was before her marriage.
Meng Yingying had prepared a whole speech, but she swallowed it back instantly. She felt both relieved and sad.
She sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed, reached out and teased the child's little fist. Fanfan was asleep, his little face was red and wrinkled, and he was very small.
They look exceptionally cute.
She didn't say anything.
"What's wrong?" Zhao Yueru asked in a low voice.
Before Meng Yingying could answer, she seemed to remember something and said with a strange expression, "I heard you crying and laughing in your room last night. What happened? Did you fight with Commander Qi?"
Meng Yingying never imagined that her intimate moments with Qi Donghan, kept at home behind closed doors, could be heard outside.
She blushed deeply and stammered, "Did you hear that?"
Last night, she and Qi Dong were so passionate that she not only screamed loudly, but they also got very excited.
That feeling of being unable to part, that feeling of being completely carried away, was entirely beyond my control.
Zhao Yueru was just making things up, but seeing Meng Yingying like this, she didn't expect it to be true.
She laughed for a while, then said, "I was just kidding."
"But your expression really did remind me of what I expected," Zhao Yueru said with some worry. "You two didn't actually start fighting, did you?"
"Did Qi Dong beat you up? What did he do? Did he bully you?" As she spoke, she sat up, her eyebrows furrowed, as if she were about to hear Meng Yingying say yes.
Zhao Yueru would rather forgo her postpartum confinement than not go out and fight Qi Donghan.
Thinking of what had happened before, Meng Yingying shook her head, "He didn't bully me, I bullied him."
Zhao Yueru breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing that the child was about to wake up, she patted the child's back and then casually asked, "Why did you bully him?"
Meng Yingying took a deep breath, looked up at her, and without turning around to ask her question, went straight to the point, saying, "Yueru, I'm going to Moscow for five years."
After that one sentence, all that was left in the room was the baby's babbling.
Zhao Yueru was stunned for a full three seconds, the smile on her lips still frozen on her face, before she slowly withdrew it.
"Five years?" Her voice rose, then she quickly lowered it again, afraid of frightening the child. "Where are you going?"
Looking into her eyes, Meng Yingying repeated, "Go to Moscow."
Zhao Yueru stood frozen in place, not even realizing her child was about to wake up. Her voice was strained as she asked, "To Moscow, for five years?"
She recognized each word individually, but she couldn't understand how they were put together.
Meng Yingying hummed in agreement. She didn't dare to look Zhao Yueru in the eye, because this was not good news for either Qi Donghan or Zhao Yueru.
Meng Yingying's eyes immediately reddened, but her voice remained calm. "Yueru, I know it's not the right time, but I have to go now. If I wait any longer, I'll be too old and won't be able to take the entrance exam for that top ballet academy. Yueru, I'm afraid you'll be angry, but I have to think about it."
For the future, for the career.
She had to take this step.
Zhao Yueru stared at her, her chest heaving, and remained silent for a long time.
The only sound in the air was the child's smacking lips as he woke up.
Suddenly, Zhao Yueru shoved the child into Meng Yingying's arms, saying, "Hold him for a while, I need to go to the bathroom." After saying that, she leaned against the wall and slowly moved out, her back view showing a slight stagger.
She was far less calm than she appeared on the surface.
Meng Yingying watched Zhao Yueru's departing figure, lowered her eyes, and sighed softly.
She held the limp baby, her whole body stiff.
The child wriggled in her arms, looking at her with half-closed eyes, and then grinned at her.
That smile brought tears to Meng Yingying's eyes, which fell onto the blanket and spread out as dark dots.
"Fanfan," Meng Yingying murmured, "I'm sorry."
A few minutes later, Zhao Yueru returned, her face pale but much calmer.
She took the baby first, fed the baby, and then calmed down completely.
She then spoke, "Yingying, I'm a little angry—because you chose to release such big news while I was in postpartum confinement."
Meng Yingying clenched her fingers tightly and whispered, "I'm sorry..."
"But I'm angrier at myself."
Zhao Yueru looked up, her eyes reddening. "I'm angry that I got married and had a child. I'm angry that I can only stay in this small bed, spending my days on baby bottles and diapers. I'm angry that I'm only twenty-two, yet I can see my whole life laid out before me—even if I endure another thirty years, it'll just be moving from this bed to that bed."
At this point, Zhao Yueru suddenly grasped Meng Yingying's hand, tightening it little by little. Her eyes were filled with tears, yet also with expectation and hope. "Yingying, you have to go, go as far away as possible. Go see Red Square for me, go see the Grand Theatre, go see the birch forest on the campus of Moscow State University. Dance Swan Lake for me, dance for foreigners, and dance for me too."
Go see those places that Zhao Yueru had only heard about and seen in books.
She can't go.
Yingying went in her place, to see what the world in the book was really like.
Upon hearing this, Meng Yingying could no longer hold back, and tears streamed down her face. "Yueru."
Her moon.
Meng Yingying wiped away her tears, feeling both happy and sad. "But if I leave, I'm afraid you won't be able to manage taking care of the child alone..."
Zhao's mother only stayed for a month. After she left, Zhao Yueru was all alone.
Although Zhou Jingsong was by his side, he spent most of the daytime at his workplace.
He couldn't come back anytime to take care of Zhao Yueru and the child.
"We can hold on."
Zhao Yueru grinned and comforted her, "You have my mom, Zhou Jingsong, and Commander Qi, the all-around farmhand you left behind. It's only been five years. Your child is barely old enough to run errands and you're already back, just in time to call him godmother."
A single sentence shattered their sadness, and the two laughed and cried at the same time.
Zhao Yueru reached out to wipe away her tears, but the more she wiped, the more tears she shed. So she simply pulled her close and, just like in the propaganda team dormitory before, the two of them sat side by side against the headboard.
"Yingying, remember this."
Zhao Yueru whispered in her ear, her voice soft yet firm, "Just keep moving forward. The farther you go, the higher you fly, the prouder I will be for you. Don't worry about home. As long as you come back, I will protect this dilapidated yard, these tattered diapers, and even Qi Donghan."
"If he has even the slightest interest in someone else, don't worry, I won't let him get away with it."
Meng Yingying buried her face in the crook of her shoulder, her eyes stinging. She murmured, "Yueru, wait for me to come back."
The situation wouldn't be as tense as it is now back then.
Then she can take her to see the outside world.
After leaving Zhao Yueru's house, Meng Yingying still had to go to the art troupe. She had been away for five years, so this was a big deal.
Naturally, it requires the consent of the employer.
However, when Meng Yingying finished telling Commander Fang about this, Commander Fang was also somewhat dazed. Her first reaction was, "Yingying, you went to Moscow for five years of advanced studies, what about Commander Qi?"
Although her future is bright and her career is going very well.
But everyone knows that this was achieved at the cost of five years of marriage.
Meng Yingying lowered her eyes, her fine eyelashes concealing most of her emotions. This was the first time she had revealed her ambition in public. "Boss, if Qi Donghan received a message that he could have a bright future after leaving home for five years of further study, what do you think he should do?"
Commander Fang almost instinctively said, "Then it must be choosing a career."
After she finished speaking, she saw Meng Yingying's knowing look.
Commander Fang sighed softly, "I was too attached to appearances."
"Men and women should be equal, and it shouldn't be said that one should sacrifice their career for the other." But this ordinary life has always told them that women should sacrifice their careers to take care of their families.
But that's not the case.
No one is obligated to sacrifice themselves to fulfill their family's needs.
Only Meng Yingying could make such a difficult choice.
At this moment, Commander Fang truly understood how remarkable Meng Yingying was. "Yingying, you are really amazing."
In such a choice, one can firmly and without doubt choose a cause that is upright and honorable.
Meng Yingying shook her head and said, "I'm not that great." She smiled, pursing her lips, "I just met a wonderful lover."
If it were someone else, as long as that person wasn't Qi Donghan...
So, she can only choose between marriage and career.
But that person was Qi Donghan, and he was the one who loved more, which is why he unconditionally compromised and accommodated her.
“So—” Meng Yingying murmured to Commander Fang, “Leader, the one who’s really powerful isn’t me, it’s Qi Donghan.”
Director Fang disagreed, saying, "If you weren't capable, how could you have fought your way from the Harbin Art Troupe to the National Ballet of China, and then from the National Ballet of China to Moscow?"
"Yingying, you are the most amazing one. You have the opportunity and you can seize it. Just that alone puts you ahead of many people."
Commander Fang walked to his desk, took out a stack of letter paper, and wrote a few lines on it.
Then they took out the official seal of the performing arts troupe and stamped it on; this is the approval form.
Approval letter for Meng Yingying's five-year leave of the troupe to pursue further studies in Moscow.
After Commander Fang finished writing, he handed it to Meng Yingying. She smiled and said encouragingly, "Yingying, I wish you a bright future and a radiant future."
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Author's note: As I write this, I really admire Yingying's ambition and ability.
I also really like Qi Donghan, this little bitter gourd, forbearance, restraint, and selfless sacrifice.
There's also the wonderful Yue Ru, and the understanding and encouraging Commander Fang.
Ahhh, I love every single character in this!
Although it's not finished yet, writing it gives me a sense of fulfillment, sob sob~ I love every single character in it so much.
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