The man suddenly smiled, extended his hand to shake hands with Song Yuwei, and said, “Thank you. I never thought I would be talking so much with the daughter of my enemy. And you are not angry with me, nor do you blame me for what I did to you, even though I myself think those things were really too much.”
It has had a significant impact on you, even causing some indelible harm. Yet, at this moment, the fact that you don't blame me at all is truly astonishing. Perhaps it's because I'm narrow-minded, and I've indeed fallen into the kind of misconception you mentioned.
That's why I keep blaming others and running away from myself. I've never really looked into my own heart or understood my own thoughts, which is probably why I feel this way. What you said touched me deeply, making me realize that things aren't as bad as I imagined.
There is another side to the story. I just fell into a prejudice that made me think that many things in this world are caused by other people.
All my experiences have been caused by others, and these feelings and thoughts do not bring me much happiness or joy in my life.
It will bring more difficulties to my life. You don't need to be wary of me anymore, and you don't need to deal with such troublesome things anymore. Because after what you said, I have understood how to be a sincere person instead of blaming others.
After learning this, I believe I will no longer do those foolish things and try to harm you. I am very grateful for your calm and accepting attitude towards all the bad things I have done and your willingness to talk to me. This makes me feel that I am not so bad after all. In fact, when I was in school, I found that many people were jealous of me.
They think I'm too outstanding. What about my grades? How good are they? The teachers all praise me. At every parent-teacher meeting, many parents tell my mother, "Your child is so good, so outstanding." They hope their children can be as amazing as me.
However, the praise from others did not bring me any real benefit. On the contrary, it gave me a lot of inspiration from others, who all thought I was a monster.
In those days, not many people were willing to learn; they just hoped to gain without effort. But everything they acquired would eventually disappear because it wasn't based on their abilities.
However, they try to take shortcuts, including in their studies. I have reminded them more than once that no one in this world can take shortcuts.
But they wouldn't listen, so I didn't force them. Nothing can be salvaged; it's just that they can't accept it. And I don't need to continue trying to dissuade them; they just need to get what they deserve.
Later, I discovered that my behavior was indeed effective, bringing me many unexpected benefits. I found that as long as I stopped focusing on other people, I could get everything I wanted. I've encountered this more than once, but going from initially caring to later ignoring it was definitely a difficult period for me.
During that period, I was always in agony. I felt that I was just trying to kindly remind others, so why did everyone think I was trying to harm them? I never had such thoughts, but others didn't want to believe me. Later, I stopped talking about it because I knew that this behavior would not bring me any benefit.
And I am indeed a very pragmatic person, unwilling to talk to them about how much I needed the benefits this matter would bring me. From that time on, all my attention was focused on myself; I hoped to improve myself as much as possible.
I hoped to have broad knowledge, and much later, I did indeed gain more than others, especially when I was always first or second in the whole school. At that time, I felt an unparalleled excitement and happiness.
All my attention was focused on one thing, and that thing exploded with energy, bringing me results that were exactly what I wanted. My life became so fulfilling that even classmates who used to look down on me started to look at me with admiration and respect.
That kind of look is what I really want, but they've never given it to me before. I've been wondering if it's because I'm not good enough, or if I have many flaws. But in reality, it turns out it wasn't my fault. It was simply because I did this with the intention of pleasing others.
In this situation, you have no way of gaining anyone's genuine blessing or appreciation; they will only think you are a spineless person or someone they can bully. This behavior seems extremely foolish to adults, and of course, I think so myself.
I started working incredibly hard, hoping to get what I wanted through this behavior. But in reality, after I got what I wanted, I realized that what I really wanted wasn't this kind of thing; it was a different kind of expectation and admiration that I desired even more.
I admire exceptionally talented people because they get what I don't. So I wanted to be like them. Later, I actually became like them, and that feeling made me so happy that it still feels so close now. Maybe others think it's something unattainable, but I find it very comforting.
I got what I wanted, and if I hadn't lost myself later, I might have been happy my whole life. I am a very good person, and now I'm finally willing to admit my excellence, whether it's others praising me or me saying that I've achieved what I wanted.
But back then, I never felt truly outstanding. I just thought maybe I was lucky, or maybe I achieved it through certain methods. I never truly believed in myself, and these things don't mean I'm worthless. I've always been the most valuable person.
No one can give me what I want; there's only one way: through my own relentless self-improvement. That's the most important element in achieving the results I desire.
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