"Then all we could contact were the villagers."
It's not that the villagers are bad. My ancestors were farmers, and we're not even as well off as farmers now. I'm not looking down on them.
However, I still feel somewhat unwilling to accept it.
If you get married now and have children, then there will be endless conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, conflicts between sisters-in-law, and all sorts of distant relatives to deal with. You'll also have to consider other people's food, clothing, shelter, and happiness every day.
If my husband is considerate, that's fine. But if he's violent, only knows how to be filial, or is lazy and immature, then I've truly jumped into a fire pit. In that case, my life would be stuck in this small mountain village for the rest of my days.
Over time, I might get used to this kind of life, accept my fate, and live a peaceful life in this village, working at sunrise and resting at sunset.
However, I always felt that this wasn't the life I wanted.
Jian Dan and Mingzhu exchanged a glance but said nothing.
When the educated youth first arrived, almost all of them had this mentality: they were full of confidence and believed that they could live a good life and make their mark in the countryside.
However, that initial enthusiasm had long been worn down by the daily grind of cooking and cleaning and the endless farm work. Looking at these recent couples, you can tell that most of them couldn't take it anymore; these days without hope for the future are the most agonizing.
Unexpectedly, Tanya Jun arrived the earliest and stayed the longest. After several years of hard work, her resolve is quite firm.
"Actually, I now think that your simple idea is right. You're doing just fine on your own, so why do you need to find someone?"
"You should be in charge of your own life. If you're married and don't even have this much freedom, I bet if you eat a little more meat, people will say you don't know how to manage a household. What's the point? Is it because you have so little to do, that you have to bring a whole family of servants to wait on you?"
"Well, maybe not."
Jian Dan suddenly felt that she seemed to have gone from one extreme to the other, even more extreme than Jian Dan herself.
“Look at Sister Zhuzhu, her life hasn’t changed much since she got married, she’s even more comfortable than before.”
Tan Yajun was speechless. She pointed at her, then at Mingzhu, and started counting on her fingers.
"Ha, what are you saying? How many people are as carefree as her?"
My parents-in-law aren't around, and I don't have any sisters-in-law. Most importantly, my husband is capable and considerate, and he can't bear to see me suffer any hardship.
You wouldn't believe it, but even just this little thing, the people at the educated youth compound, who watch it every day, can't even bring themselves to say anything sarcastic.
In the village, all the young wives are incredibly envious and compare themselves to you.
If married life could be as comfortable as yours, what would there be to worry about?
Look at the girls in the village. Before they get married, if they live with their parents and the parents love them, things are better. Their lives before marriage are not bad.
If you encounter parents who favor sons over daughters, then marriage truly becomes a second life; whether you escape poverty or jump into another fire pit becomes extremely important.
It's easy to think of the fear and aversion to marriage among many older single women in later years. Perhaps it stems from their aversion to these useless social interactions. Coupled with the dilemma of not being able to take care of their families while earning money, or not being able to earn money while taking care of their families, marriage truly becomes an invisible tomb and shackle.
They were naturally aware of these things; it was a common phenomenon nowadays. Even in Liujiatun, a village with relatively upright customs, the preference for sons over daughters still existed, though not to such an extreme degree.
Upon hearing this, Mingzhu nodded thoughtfully.
That's true.
I remember there was a little girl next door who was about my age. She and her younger brother were the only two children in her family. She was two years older than me, and she did all the housework as far back as I can remember.
Her younger brother does nothing and is pampered by her mother like a queen. He eats, drinks, clothes, plays, and has fun. All the good things in the house are given to that boy, while she can only eat leftovers. Her clothes are given to her by neighbors who can't stand her plight.
And so, no matter what she did, as long as the little one cried, her mother would either beat or scold her. Back then, it wasn't like it is now. There was freedom of speech back then, and her mother scolded her like she was scolding an enemy. She would say the most hurtful things. I could never learn those kinds of things.
Later, when I was in middle school, I heard that she got married. Her mother found her a man who had lost his wife. He was said to be more than 20 years older than her. At the time, her younger brother had caused trouble, and the man had taken care of it. As a result, she became the payment.
Not long after that, it seemed like only half a year later, I heard that she had died.
My grandma said that man was violent; he beat his first wife to death.
Tanya Jun was surprised by what
"Isn't that a compound where you live? Aren't all the people there respectable and important? How can you be like this?"
Of course.
The preference for sons over daughters is not unique to rural areas; it is a prejudice and stubbornness ingrained in some people.
It can only be said that rural people are more obvious in their behavior and don't hide it. Urban people, even if they have this idea, still have to do some face-saving work. After all, the men in the family all have jobs and organizations. Even if it's for the sake of the men's face, they won't go too far, they wouldn't dare to go too far.
As you said, those who are prominent and respected are people who risked their lives on the battlefield to achieve that status. However, their families are a different story. Many of them started their families in their rural hometowns, so their quality of life naturally varies.
In particular, most of them grew up in rural areas, and the education and upbringing they received from childhood were almost the same as in ancient times: obeying their husbands at home, obeying their husbands after marriage, and obeying their sons after their husbands' death.
Whether she listens to her husband or not is uncertain, but after living at home for at least ten years, she has been brainwashed by her mother-in-law after getting married, and the desire to have a son has become an obsession. She really treats her son as her ancestor, fearing that her husband's family line will end.
In their hearts, that girl is a money-losing burden, born to belong to someone else's family.
Therefore, in many families, almost from the moment their daughters can walk, they relentlessly exploit them, wishing they could use every last drop of her blood on their sons.
Tan Yajun is no stranger to this situation. Rural areas are high-incidence areas. She knows many cases from relatives and neighbors, even if it's just hearsay. Not to mention, she herself became one of them before the Lunar New Year.
As I thought about it, I became more and more convinced that my idea was correct.
"Yes, this is the environment we live in, and we will continue to live in this environment. Actually, I am still a little afraid that if I really have a daughter, she will not be able to grow up healthily in this environment."
I'm also afraid that being raised in this environment might turn me into the kind of person I hate most, and then my child might become the next pitiful and tragic victim.
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