The world is vast.
Huang Fuda didn't know how he had gotten through the past few days. From the moment he received the news of Uncle Yang's death, it was as if he couldn't hear the sounds around him anymore. The person lying there was so unfamiliar. He walked around him, glancing at him once, twice, then went outside to stand for a while, and then came back in to take another look. Who was this? Where was Uncle Yang?
At the funeral, his eyes were vacant, as if he were watching an absurd farce.
The police badge number was permanently sealed, the police uniform was cremated while still in it, and a suicide note was written every six months, forming a thick stack, the most recent one being written a few days ago.
………
Kid, don't work too hard. Look around at what your peers are doing. Don't always confine yourself to one place. You're not a drifting duckweed, you're a free bird. The world is vast, and wherever you go is your home.
Sell my house and car, use the money to start a business. If Yundao is gone, it's gone. What kind of behavior is this, making myself like this?
Xiao An, come visit me when you have time.
………
It snowed on the day of the funeral. The world was white and clean. Huang Fuda held his will and stared blankly at the photo on the tombstone.
Yang Zhengping died at the age of 52, never married, and had no children. He sacrificed his life on the front lines. Bao Rongxiang was arrested on the spot, and Yun Ge was arrested at the airport a few days later.
Huang Fuda went to see Yun Ge once, through glass, with Fang Chuan standing behind him. Yun Ge remained calm as ever. He looked at Huang Fuda and said, "I thought you would be doing well without me."
Huang Fuda smiled slightly, "Thanks to you all."
Fang Chuan tightened his grip on Huang Fuda's shoulder, looked down, and noticed that Huang Fuda had noticeably more gray hair. He looked away and out the window; the snow had already melted, and the sky was clear.
"The reason Lin Xiting's hotel won't let me pay is because you've been planning to use that to buy his life from me, right? You think you can compensate me with hotels for Xiao Feng's, Fang Chuan's, and Uncle Yang's? Why don't you just take my life too? That would save you so much trouble."
“You always take these things too seriously. I raised Xiaofeng, and I love him more than you do. It was just an accident, and it's you who can't get over it.”
Yung looked at his hands. "I never intended for you to die."
Huang Fuda looked at him quietly and asked, "Where is Yang Xinxing?"
“It’s been sent to someone else’s house in Suzhou.” Yun Ge placed his pale hands on the table, habitually folding them. “A lawyer will contact you in a while, and your house and car will be transferred back to your name.”
Huang Fuda brushed the hand off his shoulder, lowered his eyes, and stood up.
“…It’s not time yet.” Yun Ge’s hand touched the glass; it was icy cold. His gaze followed Huang Fuda as he left until the door closed, at which point he slowly looked up at Fang Chuan, who was still standing there.
Fang Chuan tapped on the glass, squinted and smiled, saying, "Stop looking, it's not yours no matter how much you look."
Yunge indifferently withdrew his hand. "If it weren't for you, he would have come back long ago."
"Why go back? To go to jail with you?" Fang Chuan looked down at him, extremely smug. "He and I will get married abroad in the future, and I'll show you our marriage certificate then. Yun Ge, where do you think I'll find you then, in jail? Or at your grave?"
Yung said nothing, he just smiled.
Fang Chuan felt a chill run down his spine as he looked at his smile. Suppressing his unease, he chased after Huang Fuda outside, but Huang Fuda was nowhere to be seen.
He looked at the empty corridor, Huang Fuda's coat still draped over his arm, ran out of the building, and searched everywhere but couldn't find him. The sky was indeed clear, but it wasn't his clear sky.
The streets were bustling with traffic, occasionally punctuated by long car horns. Shared electric bikes were haphazardly parked on the sidewalks, and several young people dragging suitcases passed by from time to time. They joked and laughed with each other, carrying the weariness of their journey, as they entered Xianyun Inn, a unique hotel inn in Xianye.
On a bench against the wall opposite the hotel sat a disheveled man. He wore a wrinkled suit, his hair was messy and covered his eyes, and he had some stubble on his chin.
He's been sitting here all afternoon.
As the streets gradually emptied and the sun slowly set, a discreet black sedan pulled up beside the bench just as the last rays of light disappeared from its surface.
Fang Chuan searched for five whole days before finally finding him, and breathed a sigh of relief. He knew that Huang Fuda had been in a bad mood lately and was not in good condition in any way; he was in a vulnerable time. He didn't want to question Huang Fuda about where he had been; he just wanted to take him home.
He bought the apartment, his business improved, the person he hated was in jail, and the person he loved was right in front of him. Fang Chuan felt that his life had never been so perfect.
Looking out the car window at the people on the bench, I wondered if they were cold, dressed so lightly. I got out of the car, walked to the bench, bent down, shook out my coat, and draped it over Huang Fuda.
"Huang Fuda, come with me."
"I'll take care of you."
Huang Fuda raised his head, his face filled with dejection and listlessness. His boss, Huang, had completely lost his former radiance; he had lost weight, and his hair was streaked with gray. The more noble he had been when they first met, the more destitute he was now, which made Fang Chuan feel somewhat dazed.
"Fang Chuan, can you do me a favor?"
“I’ve sold my house and car, so my 'sunshine disease' is almost cured. Please help me give him the money.”
Fang Chuan's heart tightened. Yun Ge's smile from back then kept flashing before his eyes. He slowly squatted down and asked cautiously, "And you?"
"I'm not staying here."
Fang Chuan gripped Huang Fuda's hand tightly, forced a smile, and tried to appear calm. "I said I'd support you. Can't you be with me? I've already made some money. Wait for me a little longer, okay?"
"How about... wherever you want to go, I'll go with you, okay? Wait for me for two days, until I've finished dealing with things here, then I'll go with you."
Huang Fuda looked at Fang Chuan's stiff face and smiled. "Fang Chuan, I've never really understood what you like about me. This face? Look at yourself now, can you still like me?"
Fang Chuan hugged Huang Fuda's waist, buried his face in it, and remained silent for a long time. "I've only ever been your driver, and I've never seen a boss like you. You get up so early every day, you have to see everything yourself, you're always smiling at your employees, and you run around everywhere for a small hotel. You say you don't do anything underhanded, you don't want office romances, but you were tricked into sleeping with someone and then had to take them on a mountain trip. It was the first time I knew someone's clothes could be so warm, and it was also the first time I was held up on a mountaintop watching the sunset. That day, Gui Han made things difficult for me, and you drank for me. You went out to throw up twice in the private room, and your face was pale when you got back to the hotel and lay in bed. I didn't understand you, I felt sorry for you, and slowly, without realizing it, I fell in love with you, and I can't live without you anymore."
The streetlights beside the bench came on, casting a cold white light on the two of them. Snow began to fall again, landing on their heads and shoulders.
Fang Chuan looked up at him and said solemnly, "Huang Fuda, I love you."
“I will definitely treat you well with all my heart. You don’t have to worry about what to eat or wear. You can just stay at home and I will give you the best of everything. If you want to work, I will find you a shop downstairs. You can open any kind of shop you want. When I earn more money in the future, I will give you a new hotel in return… So please, don’t go.”
Snowflakes fell all over Fang Chuan's sleeves, only to be shaken off by his trembling body. Huang Fuda pushed him away and stood up from the bench.
"The price of being liked by you is too high. I still don't understand what I did wrong to be driven to this point by you. I just have things I want to do more than being with you, what did I do wrong?"
The snow fell heavier and heavier, pattering down under the streetlights, and soon turned Huang Fuda's hair white.
"Fang Chuan, you're suffocating me."
"Besides, I'm not that magnanimous. You should know why I was with you. Now that Yang Zhengping is gone, you can post the video all you want, I don't care. Stop bothering me. I just want to go outside for some fresh air and save some face for each other."
The video was useless; he had no other way to keep Huang Fuda. He should have realized this sooner, but he was still deceiving himself, telling himself that the boss still had feelings for him and would stay even if the shackles were removed; deceiving himself that the boss saved him because he liked him, and not because of some damn Yun Ge who wanted him dead. Deceiving himself that the boss didn't care about Yun Island at all, and that the boss had long since forgiven him for what he had done.
But he didn't even know how to address Huang Fuda besides calling him "boss".
"Don't go..." Fang Chuan, with tears in his eyes, hugged Huang Fuda's leg as he was about to leave.
“I can’t live without you… There are two more dogs at home waiting for you to feed them. Don’t you love them? I’ll borrow some more money from home to get you a new mattress so you can sleep better. I’ll also learn some cooking skills from a restaurant chef and make sure you’re well-fed and plump. I’ve already bought the house, and I’m looking at plane tickets to the Netherlands. I’ve even designed a new ring. I’m just waiting for you to say yes so we can get married right away.”
"...Don't go."
Fang Chuan's arms were freed by the legs, but he immediately wrapped them around them again. His knees ached from the pebbles on the ground. He followed closely, afraid of being left behind. His coat dragged on the ground, covered in snow.
"Don't go, Huang Fuda, don't go."
Huang Fuda kept backing away until he reached outside the streetlight. He looked at the young man on the ground, whose eyes were red and tears were streaming down his face, and helped him up.
"I'll go pack my luggage."
The car drove very slowly the whole way. Fang Chuan followed behind Huang Fuda, watching him put things into his suitcase and then block the doorway, stubbornly refusing to let anyone out.
"Stay one more night, okay? You must not have eaten yet. I'll cook you something, okay? What will you eat if I'm not here? You're so picky, what if you get even thinner? You gave all your money to Yu Xiangyang, can you even rent a place like this outside? I keep putting you up every night, and you can't sleep well. How can you go anywhere else? If you want to go to the south or the north, you'll need a down jacket in the north, and you haven't bought one yet. Wait a little longer, wait a little longer... wait a little longer for me! It's just a few hotels! I'll compensate you, I said I'd compensate you! Why do you have to leave!"
"Can you lock me up for the rest of my life?" Huang Fuda said calmly.
"Why can't I lock you up for the rest of my life?" Fang Chuan looked at him with a pale face.
Huang Fuda took his hand, placed it on the scar on his heart, and asked again, "Can you lock me up for the rest of my life?"
Fang Chuan's hand, which was resting on his chest, began to tremble. He slowly pulled his hand back, staggered backward, until his back pressed against the door. He covered his face with trembling hands, slid down to the ground, and sobbed uncontrollably.
“Huang Fuda,” he choked up, “just this once.”
"Don't let me run into you again. You'd better get far away. I don't want to see you again. Get out, get out right now, or I'll regret it..."
Huang Fuda opened the door, pulled his suitcase past Fang Chuan, grabbed his trouser leg with one hand, and the young man's tearful voice came again.
"I was wrong, I was really wrong, please don't go..."
Fang Chuan slowly pulled the trouser leg away from his hand, sat at the door, buried his head in his lap, afraid to lift it. He was afraid, afraid he wouldn't be able to bear it, afraid he would regret it.
Fang Chuan.
"Grow a little older."
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