Approaching shadow
It was late spring, early summer, and the leaves of the poplar trees in the capital had grown to the size of a palm, lush and verdant, casting thick shadows under the increasingly scorching sun. Lin Xueyin's life seemed to have entered a stable track.
She was adept at her work and her friendship with Sister Jiang and Sun Mei grew deeper. She even began to learn to use limited ingredients and tried to make some simple hometown dishes on the small kerosene stove in the dormitory. Although she often ended in failure, it added a bit of clumsy fun to her life.
However, beneath the calm surface, undercurrents always existed. The pebble and the unopened chocolate were like the sword of Damocles hanging over her head, reminding her of the fragility of this "calmness".
She occasionally had nightmares, dreaming of those deep, cold eyes, and when she woke up, her heart was pounding and she was sweating.
Just when she was almost getting used to this state of suspense, the shadow began to approach again in an unexpected way.
It was a Friday evening, just after the bell rang for the end of get off work. Lin Xueyin and Sister Jiang followed the crowd out of the office gate while discussing the ideas for next week's bulletin board.
"Xiao Lin, look over there!" Sister Jiang suddenly nudged her with her elbow, her voice carrying a subtle hint of surprise and... curiosity.
Lin Xueyin followed her gaze and her heart suddenly skipped a beat.
Beneath the old locust tree at the entrance to her workplace, parked was the black car she'd ridden in once. Next to the car door, Song Zhiyuan stood tall. He wasn't wearing a Mao suit today, but a fine, light gray casual suit that accentuated his tall stature, his demeanor austere yet composed.
He did not lean against the car as usual, but just stood there quietly, his eyes calmly looking towards the entrance of the unit, as if waiting for someone.
The afterglow of the setting sun cast a faint golden hue around him, but it couldn't soften the natural aloofness and majesty between his brows. He stood out from the crowd of people pushing bicycles and chatting and laughing on their way home from work, like a cheetah that had strayed into a flock of sheep, conspicuous and compelling.
Lin Xueyin's footsteps froze in place. Blood seemed to rush to her head, then quickly recede, leaving her limbs cold. He's here! He's finally here! What does he want to do this time?
Sister Jiang had obviously noticed this extraordinary young man, who was clearly something special. She lowered her voice, with a hint of envy and inquiry: "Xiao Lin, do you know him? Is he looking for you? This... this demeanor is unlike that of an ordinary person!"
Lin Xueyin's throat tightened, and her lips moved, but no sound came out. How should she introduce him? Say that this was the man who brought her from North City and controlled her fate?
Just as she was at a loss, Song Zhiyuan had already seen her. His gaze passed over the crowd and fell precisely on her. He didn't stare at her aggressively, but simply looked at her calmly, as if confirming her presence. Then, he took long steps and walked towards her slowly.
Every step she took felt like she was stepping on the tip of Lin Xueyin's heart. She subconsciously took a half step back, her fingers tightly gripping the strap of her shoulder bag.
"Comrade Lin Xueyin." He stood in front of her, his voice low, but clear enough for her and Sister Jiang to hear. His address was polite and distant, as if they were just ordinary acquaintances.
"Song...Comrade Song." Lin Xueyin forced herself to speak, her voice dry and weak, with an unconcealable nervousness.
Song Zhiyuan's gaze lingered on her face for a moment, as if he sensed her fear, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at Sister Jiang beside him and nodded slightly as a greeting. His attitude was not enthusiastic, but he maintained basic courtesy.
Sister Jiang quickly responded with a smile, the curiosity in her eyes almost overflowing.
"Off work?" Song Zhiyuan turned his gaze to Lin Xueyin again, his tone as calm as if he was discussing the weather, "It's on my way, I'll take you home."
It wasn't a question, leaving her no room to refuse, but the tone was much softer than the last time he said "get in the car" at the supply and marketing cooperative door, and even had a hint of... seemingly casual "on the way".
Lin Xueyin froze. How could she refuse, with so many people watching? Many of her colleagues, leaving work, had already slowed down their pace, casting glances at her, either overtly or covertly, with surprise, curiosity, and even... the undisguised envy in Sister Jiang's eyes, making her feel incredibly embarrassed.
"I... I'm with Sister Jiang..." She tried to struggle, her voice as thin as a thread.
"It's okay, it's okay!" Sister Jiang immediately responded very tactfully, with a smile on her face, and even gently pushed Lin Xueyin.
"Xiao Lin, go quickly! Don't keep Comrade Song waiting! We'll talk about the bulletin board tomorrow!" Her eyes clearly said, "You little girl, why didn't you tell me earlier that you knew such an important person?"
Lin Xueyin's last bit of courage to resist vanished after being pushed by Sister Jiang, the vague gazes from everyone around her, and Song Zhiyuan's calm yet unquestionable gaze. She lowered her head, like a child who had done something wrong, and silently followed Song Zhiyuan towards the black car.
The driver had already gotten out of the car and respectfully opened the door.
Song Zhiyuan asked her to get in first, and then he got in. The car door closed, blocking out all the gazes and noise outside, as well as Sister Jiang's envious eyes.
The car still carried his crisp, clean scent, mixed with the scent of leather. Lin Xueyin sat pressed against the car door, her body tense, even her breathing lightened.
The car started smoothly and drove out of the unit compound.
"How's your work lately?" Song Zhiyuan spoke, breaking the silence in the car. The topic was so ordinary as if they were just ordinary friends who could chat.
"...It's okay." Lin Xueyin stared at her knees, not daring to look at him.
"I heard that you did a good job on the bulletin board." He said again.
Lin Xueyin was shocked. How could he know? Did Sister Jiang tell her? Or... had he always known? This feeling of being exposed made her even more uneasy.
"Yes...it was Sister Jiang who taught me well." She answered in a low voice.
"Yeah." Song Zhiyuan responded, not continuing the topic. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes fixed on the rapidly receding street outside the window. It seemed as if he was just "dropping in" to give her a ride, with no other intentions.
This seemingly ordinary approach made Lin Xueyin feel more flustered than direct coercion.
What was he trying to do? To make her slowly get used to his presence, using this method of boiling a frog in warm water? To make her, amidst the envious gazes of her colleagues, blur the lines between coercion and forcedness between them?
The car quickly stopped at the entrance to the Cultural and Publicity Center's dormitory compound. This time, he didn't get out of the car, but simply said to her, "We're here."
Lin Xueyin felt as if she had been pardoned. She whispered "thank you" and opened the car door and got out almost as if she was escaping.
The black car did not stop and quickly merged into the traffic flow and disappeared.
Lin Xueyin stood there, watching the car disappear in the direction it disappeared, her heart aching. The scene at the office entrance just now, the gazes of Sister Jiang and her colleagues, pierced her back like needles. She could almost foresee the curious inquiries she would face when she went to work tomorrow.
Sure enough, the next morning, as soon as she entered the office, Sister Jiang came over impatiently, her eyes shining. "Xiao Lin, tell me quickly, who was that Comrade Song yesterday? That demeanor, that style, and that car... My God, even the leaders in our unit don't have that kind of presence! How did you know him?"
Several other colleagues also pricked up their ears. They seemed to be busy with the things at hand, but in fact their attention was focused here.
Lin Xueyin's cheeks flushed, and she hesitated, unsure how to explain. She could only vaguely say that she had met him while working in the countryside, and that his family seemed to be from Beijing, but she didn't know anything else.
"Sent-down youth?" Sister Jiang was skeptical. "I don't think you're an ordinary sent-down youth! Xiaolin, you're... a hidden talent!"
"She patted Lin Xueyin's shoulder, her tone carrying a complex meaning, happy for her, but also hard to conceal envy, "With a friend like this to look after you, your life in Beijing will be much better! Maybe you can even help me get a good job in the future!"
Other colleagues also echoed this, and their words all revealed their speculation about Song Zhiyuan's identity and background and their envy of Lin Xueyin.
"Yeah, Xiaolin, I didn't expect you to have this kind of relationship."
"Comrade Song looks really energetic, just like the guy in the magazine."
"If anything good happens in the future, don't forget us!"
These words were like stones dropped into the lake of Lin Xueyin's heart. They only saw the superficial brilliance, the enviable bearing and background, but they had no idea of the coercion, fear, and helplessness hidden behind it. Their envy was like a distorted mirror, making the shadows in her heart even clearer.
She forced a smile to deal with it and sat back in her seat, but her heart was cold.
Song Zhiyuan's goal seemed to have been partially achieved. He no longer appeared as a coercer, but intervened in her life in a seemingly "normal" and even enviable way.
In this way, he blurred the nature of their relationship, making it more difficult for her to clearly define her situation amid the gazes and comments of those around her, and even more difficult for her to muster the courage to resist.
Like a very patient hunter, he was no longer in a hurry to catch her, but began to weave a web to bind her in a more sophisticated way.
And her colleagues, with their envious gazes, became part of this network, making her feel a deeper pressure from the environment.
The approaching shadow was no longer menacing, but more omnipresent and harder to escape. The fragile happiness and peace that Lin Xueyin had just built up faced another severe test. She knew that the silent struggle between her and Song Zhiyuan had entered a new and more complex stage.
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