When you feel upset, you can come here
In the next few days, Lin Xueyin seemed to have a serious illness.
She requested leave from the radio station, citing illness, and spent her days curled up in her dorm bed. Aside from washing and eating, she rarely left her bed and rarely spoke. Liu Xiaoling and the others carefully cared for her, not daring to ask too many questions, but their eyes betrayed a mixture of worry and suspicion.
The pain in my body was slowly fading, but the crack in my heart was becoming clearer.
Whenever it was late at night and everyone was asleep, the darkness of the barn, the rough straw, his hot breath, and the tearing pain would come flooding back like a tide, waking her up in fright from her sleep, covered in cold sweats.
Does she hate him?
Yes, she hated his tyranny, his cruelty, and how he destroyed her dignity and choices so easily.
But she was more afraid of him.
The letter that was accurately delivered to Uncle Chen's house, the oppressive feeling of impending storm when he was sitting under the old locust tree waiting for her, and his unquestionable power to control everything... all made her clearly realize that resistance was futile and escape was wishful thinking.
Since there is no escape, since struggling will only bring deeper pain and humiliation, what should I do?
Like a flower, wither completely in despair?
Lin Xueyin stared at the rooftop covered in old newspapers, her eyes hollow. She thought of her parents, her warm home in the city, and those carefree days when her only concern was what dress to wear the next day. All that seemed like a thing from a lifetime ago.
She couldn't wither. She had to return to the city. This was the only thought that kept her going in this remote and desolate place.
If she wants to stay relatively "safe" until the day she returns to the city, Song Zhiyuan is an existence she cannot avoid, and even... the only twisted "support" she can hold on to at the moment.
An idea, deformedly growing out of the soil of despair - obey him, please him.
At least, don't irritate him anymore. At least, make yourself feel a little better in this twisted relationship.
This decision made her feel extremely ashamed, but it was also the only way out she found for herself in desperate situation.
A few days later, Lin Xueyin returned to the radio station. She washed herself carefully, changed into clean clothes, and even tried to put on a calm expression.
But deep in her eyes, there was less of the naiveté of the past, and instead there was a hint of indescribable silence and caution.
Song Zhiyuan will still come.
When he pushed the door open, Lin Xueyin was practicing pronunciation on the manuscript. When she heard the footsteps, her back stiffened slightly, but she did not turn around or dodge in panic like before.
He walked up to her, without saying a word, but as usual, his eyes fell on her calmly.
Lin Xueyin forced herself to steady her breathing and continued to read the script, but her voice was a little softer than usual, with a hint of imperceptible flattering gentleness.
After reading a paragraph, she paused, mustered her courage, raised her eyelashes, glanced at him quickly, and asked in a soft voice, "Comrade Song, am I... am I reading okay?"
This was the first time she had actively sought his evaluation. Her attitude was no longer businesslike and distant, but rather tentative and vulnerable.
A glimmer of light flashed across Song Zhiyuan's deep eyes. He looked at her trying to hide her fear and feign calmness, at the cautious flattery in her eyes, and the remaining resentment in his heart caused by her escape seemed to dissipate a little.
"Yeah," he said, a reply. His tone remained calm, but the oppressive low pressure around him seemed to ease a little.
This subtle change was caught by the extremely nervous Lin Xueyin. She felt a slight sense of relief, as if a drowning person had grabbed a piece of driftwood.
This is a start.
From then on, Lin Xueyin began to consciously "adjust" her behavior.
When he waited for her in the morning, she would come out a little earlier and not keep him waiting. When he reached out to take her things, she would no longer pull her hand away stiffly, but would whisper "thank you".
When he sent her back to the educated youth point and there was silence on the way, she would try to find some safe topics, such as "The weather is nice today" or "What new announcement has come from the radio station", her voice soft and deliberately gentle.
She even began to notice his preferences. She noticed he seemed to prefer light food, smoked occasionally, and had clean, slender fingers with light calluses. She wrapped the last few pieces of egg cake she had brought back from the county town, which she had been reluctant to eat, in a clean handkerchief and, after work one day, lowered her head and pressed them into his hands.
"This... is for you." Her voice was so low that it was almost inaudible, but her cheeks flushed uncontrollably, with a complex emotion of humiliation and shame.
Song Zhiyuan looked at the bag of egg cake in his hand, which had her body temperature and faint fragrance, then looked at her blushing ears and drooping, trembling eyelashes, and his eyes deepened.
He didn't refuse and accepted it.
Then, as she turned to flee, he reached out and grabbed her wrist.
Lin Xueyin's body stiffened, and she almost struggled to break free reflexively, but she finally held back and stayed frozen in place.
He didn't use any force, but just gently stroked the inside of her slender wrist with his thumb. The touch of the thin callous made her hair stand on end.
"Tomorrow," he began, his voice low, "I'll take you somewhere."
It's not an inquiry, it's a notification.
Lin Xueyin's heart tightened, and fear gripped her again. What was he planning to do?
But she didn't ask, she just nodded obediently, her voice barely audible: "...Okay."
Song Zhiyuan looked at her submissive appearance, trying to please but unable to hide her fear, and a very faint curve appeared at the corner of his mouth.
His little canary finally began to learn to adapt to life in a cage.
She still had thorns and hidden fear, but at least she no longer tried to bang her head against the cage.
He was very satisfied with the progress.
Taming requires patience and means.
And he has both.
He let go of her hand and looked at her back as she hurried away as if she had been pardoned, his eyes dark.
He knew she was trying to please him, with fear and reluctance.
But that doesn't matter.
He had plenty of time to let her turn this flattery into a habit, and then turn the habit into a deep-seated dependence.
Until the end, even she herself couldn't tell whether it was flattery or... true addiction.
---
The next day, just after dawn, Song Zhiyuan was waiting outside the female educated youth dormitory.
Lin Xueyin had barely slept all night, and her eyes were slightly dark. Hearing the familiar, deliberately quiet footsteps outside, her heart tightened. She forced herself to get up and splashed cold water on her face, trying to look more alert.
She changed into her most respectable blue Lenin suit and carefully combed her hair. Facing the small mirror, she tried to force a natural smile, but only managed a stiff one. Finally, she gave up and, with a calmness bordering on resignation, pushed open the dormitory door.
Song Zhiyuan stood in the morning mist, his figure erect and straight as a pine tree. He wasn't wearing work clothes today, but rather a half-worn military uniform, which only accentuated his broad shoulders, long legs, and austere demeanor.
He saw Lin Xueyin, and his gaze lingered on her face for a moment, as if he noticed her haggard appearance. However, he said nothing more, simply saying, "Let's go."
He didn't say where he was going, and Lin Xueyin didn't dare ask. She followed him silently, keeping a distance of about one step.
He did not deliberately slow down to wait for her as usual, but walked steadily and quickly.
Lin Xueyin had to jog to keep up, the cool breeze of early autumn morning wafting into her throat, bringing a hint of bitterness. She bit her lip, trying not to fall behind, but her heart was filled with confusion and anxiety—where was he taking her? What was he going to do to her?
The two walked in silence, one in front and one behind, through the village that had not yet fully awakened, and took the path leading deep into the mountains. The path became narrower and narrower, the trees on both sides became denser and denser, and the light became dim.
Lin Xueyin's heart beat faster. This deep mountain forest, so sparsely populated... Fear, like a vine, quietly wrapped around her heart. She almost wanted to turn and run, but her feet felt as heavy as lead. Where could she escape to?
Just as she was lost in her thoughts and almost overwhelmed by her own fear, the sound of gurgling water came faintly from the front.
After passing a dense bamboo forest, the view suddenly opened up.
It was a small mountain stream hidden in the embrace of the mountains. A clear stream rushed out from the cracks in the rocks and gathered into a shallow pool in a low-lying area. The water was emerald green and clear, and you could see the round pebbles and small fish swimming at the bottom.
There are flat and smooth boulders beside the pond, dotted with wild flowers around it. The air is moist and fresh, with the fragrance of soil and grass.
The sunlight shone through the sparse leaves, casting shimmering golden light on the water, which formed a sharp contrast with the darkness and oppression of the warehouse before.
Lin Xueyin was stunned, unable to believe her eyes. She had never imagined that in this barren and boring mountain village, there would be such a paradise hidden away.
"This is..." She spoke subconsciously, with a hint of surprise in her voice that she herself was not aware of.
Song Zhiyuan walked to the edge of the pond, squatted down, and scooped up a handful of water. The water flowed through his fingers, shimmering crystal clear in the sunlight. He turned his head and looked at Lin Xueyin, who was still standing there. His eyes seemed less cold and hard in the mottled light and shadow.
"I discovered it by chance." He said calmly, "The water is very clean."
He brought her here, not to hurt her again, nor to do anything... but to see the scenery?
Lin Xueyin stared at his back, then at the quiet and beautiful mountain stream. For a moment, her emotions were indescribable. The fear faded slightly, replaced by a deeper confusion.
What kind of person was he, who could destroy her so cruelly and yet bring her to such a peaceful place?
Song Zhiyuan stood up and walked to a flat boulder. He took out an oil-paper bag from his military green satchel, placed it on the rock and opened it. Inside were a few still-hot sweet potatoes and a military water bottle.
"Sit down and have something to eat," he said, and he took the lead in sitting down on the stone.
Lin Xueyin hesitated for a moment, but still walked over slowly and sat down where he indicated, keeping a cautious distance from him.
He handed her a sweet potato, then unscrewed the kettle and handed it to her. Lin Xueyin murmured a thank you, took it, and ate it in small sips. The sweet potato was sweet and warm, dispelling the morning chill. The water was sweet mountain spring water.
The two of them sat silently by the pond, listening to the gurgling water and the chirping birds.
There was no pressure, no suffocating intimacy, only an almost eerie...peace.
Lin Xueyin's taut nerves unconsciously relaxed a little in this tranquility. She secretly raised her eyes and looked at the man beside her. He was gazing at the pond. His profile appeared exceptionally clear and stern in the light, but his eyes seemed empty, with a rare, distant air that didn't belong in this rural area.
Does he... also feel tired sometimes? Does he also want to escape from all this boredom?
As soon as this thought came to her mind, Lin Xueyin extinguished it herself. How could she possibly guess about him? What qualifications did she have?
However, looking at him like this, looking at the place he brought her to, the pure fear and hatred in her heart seemed to be quietly mixed with an extremely faint...strange emotion that even she herself was unwilling to admit.
"From now on," Song Zhiyuan suddenly spoke, breaking the silence. His voice was still low, but it was less commanding and more declarative. "When you feel upset, you can come here."
Lin Xueyin suddenly looked up and looked at him.
He was also looking at her, his eyes deep, as if he could see through all her forced calmness and the turmoil in her heart.
He brought her here to give her a place... to breathe?
Why?
Is this a tactic of giving a slap in the face and then a sweet date? Or...
Lin Xueyin couldn't understand him. Not at all.
But she knew that her heart was now filled with tiny, uncontrollable ripples because of these words, because of this mountain stream, and because of his calm silhouette.
She lowered her head, looked at the half-eaten sweet potato in her hand, and hummed softly.
This time, it was no longer a flattery out of fear, but a real touch that even she herself was not clear about.
Song Zhiyuan looked at her drooping, unusually soft neck and said nothing more.
He knew that something was changing quietly.
Just like the stream in the mountain stream, it looks calm, but it has already started to flow inside.
And he is happy to see this change.
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