Morning Light
Song Xi's arrival, like a gentle ray of light, completely dispelled the last shroud of darkness from Lin Xueyin's heart. The process of childbirth washed away the last traces of her youthful immaturity and confusion, imbuing her with a calm and gentle maternal glow.
Her eyes and eyebrows were still as beautiful as ever, but with an indescribable flexibility and composure. When she held her child and hummed softly, her whole body seemed to be shrouded in a layer of light golden halo. Even the occasional frown she made, worried about the child spitting up, carried a touching and lively aura.
Song Zhiyuan's gaze lingered on her more and more. It was no longer one of pure scrutiny and control, but rather a mixture of a more complex admiration and fascination that even he himself could not clearly discern.
He discovered that this woman, whom he had forcibly taken under his wing, blossomed into a different form of beauty after becoming a mother, which far exceeded his expectations.
After the baby was one month old, Lin Xueyin moved out of the hospital building and into Song Zhiyuan's residence in Beijing. It wasn't the Song family compound, but a two-story house with a courtyard in a quiet neighborhood. The environment was tranquil, the decor simple yet comfortable, and clearly meticulously planned. In Song Zhiyuan's words, it was "quieter, perfect for you and your child to rest."
This marked the beginning of their de facto cohabitation.
Contrary to Lin Xueyin's expectations, Song Zhiyuan didn't completely confine her to this small building. He remained busy, but his priorities had shifted noticeably. Unless he had a necessary evening outing, he'd always come home for dinner. His study now contained a crib and toys, and next to his files, an open encyclopedia on childcare might be found.
He even learned how to change diapers for his baby. Although his movements were still stiff and clumsy, and his brows were always furrowed, as if he was handling an extremely precise military task, his willingness to try to participate was invaluable in itself.
At night, when the child cried, he was often the first to wake, clumsily picking up Xiaoxi and soothing her softly until he could finally nudge the sleepy Lin Xueyin awake to feed her. He remained quiet, but when Lin Xueyin tired, he would silently take the child so she could rest a little longer. His strong drive and ability to learn were fully demonstrated in parenting.
Lin Xueyin's life was filled with her child and this silent yet omnipresent man. The initial awkwardness and alienation were gradually smoothed out in the daily grind and the busyness of caring for a new life.
She began to get used to the sound of his footsteps returning home late at night, the fresh scent of his body mixed with the faint fragrance of milk, and subconsciously looking at him when encountering parenting problems. Even though he often could not give any romantic answers, his steady presence itself was a kind of reliance.
That afternoon, the sun was shining brightly. Lin Xueyin was holding Xiaoxi in the yard, basking in the sun, when a black car silently slid up to the door. Song Zhiyuan's parents got out of the car.
This was the first time Lin Xueyin met Song's mother in a non-hospital environment, and also the first time she met Song Zhiyuan's father - an old man with an upright posture, a serious face, and a majestic aura without even getting angry.
Her heart suddenly rose and she subconsciously hugged the child in her arms tightly.
Mother Song wore a proper smile. Her gaze first fell on Lin Xueyin, giving her a quick once-over. A subtle hint of satisfaction flashed across her eyes. She looked well, and her demeanor was calm, unlike some of the more humble women. Then, her gaze impatiently turned to the swaddling baby in Lin Xueyin's arms.
"Is this Xiaoxi? Let grandma see her!" Song's mother's voice was filled with uncontrollable joy. She stepped forward and carefully took the child. The smile on her face instantly became real and soft. "Oh, look at his eyes and eyebrows. He looks so energetic. He looks like our Zhiyuan when he was a child!"
Although Song's father was still serious, he took a closer look, the corners of his mouth twitched slightly, and he hummed in approval.
Song Zhiyuan stood aside, watching the parents surrounding their child with a calm expression.
They sat down in the living room. Mother Song held the child tightly, unwilling to let go, softly teasing him and occasionally asking Lin Xueyin about the child's daily life, how much milk he ate, and how he slept. Lin Xueyin answered each one softly, with a neither humble nor arrogant attitude.
After sitting for a while, Mother Song handed the child to the nanny next to her and said gently to Lin Xueyin, "Xueyin, accompany me to walk in the yard and bask in the sun."
Lin Xueyin knew that he had something to say to her alone. She glanced at Song Zhiyuan, and he nodded almost imperceptibly.
The yard was a bit bleak in early winter, but the sun was warm. The two of them walked slowly along the gravel path.
"Xue Yin," Mother Song spoke, her tone softer than before, filled with the concern of an elder, "Thank you for your hard work during this period."
Lin Xueyin shook her head slightly: "It's not hard, Mom." The word "Mom" was still a little awkward, but it came out naturally.
Mother Song smiled and patted her hands: "Zhiyuan is just like his father. He's cold and hard, doesn't speak softly, and acts...directly. I'm sorry that you were wronged by what happened before."
Lin Xueyin lowered her head and didn't respond. Those "grievances" couldn't be erased with a simple apology.
Mother Song sighed and continued, "But, Mom is an experienced person, so I can see clearly. Zhiyuan really cares about you. I've never seen him be so patient with anyone in his life. Look at him now, he rushes home after get off work, and you two are in his eyes and heart."
Lin Xueyin listened in silence. She felt the same way Mother Song said. It was just that the good things she felt, intertwined with the initial hurt, left her with mixed feelings.
"A family like ours has its own reasons." Song's mother changed the subject, her tone carrying a hint of helplessness and deep meaning, "Many things cannot be done as freely as ordinary families.
Zhiyuan has a heavy burden on his shoulders. He chose to keep you by his side in his own way. Maybe his methods were not appropriate, but his original intention... was not necessarily bad. He was just used to solving problems in the most effective way, but forgot to consider your feelings.
These words are more thorough and easier to accept than Song Zhiyuan's own confession.
"Now that the baby is born, you are a real family." Mother Song stopped and looked at Lin Xueyin with an earnest look, "Let the past be the past.
"Look forward to it, and live a good life with Zhiyuan. He is a responsible man and will be a good father. As long as you stay with him, he will not treat you unfairly."
The sunlight shone on Song's mother's well-maintained face. Her eyes contained comfort, expectation, and a hint of unquestionable advice.
Lin Xueyin looked at Xiaoxi babbling in the nanny's arms in the distance, and remembered Song Zhiyuan's clumsy way of holding the child, his light footsteps when he returned late at night, and his increasingly warm gazes that lingered on her.
The piece of ice in my heart seemed to melt faster under the warm sunshine of family affection and realistic considerations.
She raised her head, met Mother Song's gaze, and nodded gently. Although her voice was soft, it was firm: "I understand, Mom. I will... live a good life."
It is not surrender, but more like a declaration of reconciliation with the past and acceptance of reality.
Mother Song smiled with satisfaction and took her arm again: "That's right. Let's go back and see Xiaoxi. This little girl is really more lovable the more we see her."
The afterglow of the setting sun lengthened the figures of the two people, casting them on the quiet path.
Lin Xueyin knew the road ahead might still be bumpy, and she had only glimpsed a small part of the Song family's depths. But at this moment, holding her soft daughter in her arms, thinking of the silent yet gradually warming man waiting inside, her heart was no longer filled with cold despair, but with a peaceful strength that made her want to work hard to build this family.
The birds returning to their nests finally found a safe place to rest. The morning light gently fell on the mother and daughter, as well as the man who had quietly changed.
---
That afternoon, the sun was shining brightly. Sister Jiang and two other familiar female colleagues from the Propaganda Department, Sister Zhou and Sister Wu, came to visit her with fruits and brown sugar.
As they entered the yard, they saw Song Zhiyuan holding the swaddled Xiaoxi and pacing slowly under the grape trellis. He was tall and straight, wearing a dark sweater, less aloof than usual.
With her head lowered, her expression was one of concentration and gentleness they had never seen before, as she whispered something to the baby in her arms. Xiaoxi waved her little fists and made babbling sounds.
"Oh, Comrade Song is home!" Sister Zhou exclaimed softly, becoming a little reserved. Song Zhiyuan was well-known in the workplace for his powerful aura, and ordinary people didn't dare approach him.
Sister Jiang smiled and greeted them loudly, "Comrade Song, let's go see Xueyin and Xiaoxi."
Song Zhiyuan looked up at the sound, saw them, and nodded, a greeting. His expression had returned to its usual calm, but not overwhelming. He walked over with the child in his arms and said to the room, "Xue Yin, your colleague is here." His voice was not loud, but it was clear enough to be heard inside the room.
Lin Xueyin responded and emerged from the room. She was wearing loose, comfortable cotton home clothes, her complexion rosy, and her eyes shone with the gentleness and tranquility of a new mother. She smiled and welcomed her colleagues into the room.
Song Zhiyuan followed behind with the child in his arms, gently placed Xiaoxi in the cradle in the living room, skillfully adjusted the angle of the quilt, and after making sure the child was comfortable, he said to Lin Xueyin, "You guys chat, I'll go to the study." After saying that, he nodded slightly to several colleagues, turned and left, leaving the space completely to them.
"Oh, Xueyin, you've recovered so well! Look at your complexion, so fair and rosy." Sister Wu held Lin Xueyin's hand and praised her sincerely.
Sister Zhou also came to the cradle and looked at the delicate little Xi inside. She was so fond of her: "This child is so beautiful, she looks more like her mother! She is so well behaved and doesn't make any noises."
Lin Xueyin smiled and poured them some water, then took out the prepared snacks.
Sister Jiang was attentive and asked in a low voice, "Xueyin, before... we were all very worried about you. Now seeing you like this, we are finally relieved. Comrade Song... is he treating you and your daughter well?" She remembered the time when Lin Xueyin was recuperating "due to illness" and had no news from her, and she always had some speculations and worries in her heart.
Lin Xueyin knew what Sister Jiang meant. She glanced in the direction of the study, a genuine smile appeared on her face, and she nodded: "Well, he... is fine."
Sister Zhou was quick-witted and couldn't help but sigh with emotion upon hearing this: "It's more than just great! Xueyin, you don't know. We just saw Comrade Song holding the baby. Oh, he was so careful. The look in his eyes was exactly the same as when my wife held our son for the first time! No, much better than my wife. My wife was so clumsy, she wanted to put the baby back to me as soon as he cried."
Sister Wu echoed the sentiment, "That's right! Look at Comrade Song. He's such a grown man, but he holds the baby in such a perfect position. You can tell he learned it specially. He even took the initiative to leave space for us. How thoughtful! Unlike my husband, who would just plop down on the sofa when guests come and not care about anything. He wouldn't even help if the oil bottle fell over."
Sister Jiang also smiled, looking at Lin Xueyin with a look of relief and a hint of envy in her eyes: "Yes, Xueyin. What do we women want? Isn't it just to understand the cold and warmth, to have this family in our hearts, and to love the children? Comrade Song is a little less talkative, but his actions are not ambiguous at all.
You didn't see it, the look he gave Xiaoxi just now, tsk tsk, that really hurt to the bone. A man like this, although he can't say sweet words, but he is real and reliable. "
Listening to her colleagues chattering away, from initial worry to current envy, Lin Xueyin felt a warm warmth in her heart. She remembered Song Zhiyuan's clumsy but insistent way of learning to hold a child, the back of him pacing around the study late at night with the crying Xiaoxi in his arms, and everything he had silently arranged for her...
Yes, he doesn't talk about "love" all the time, and his attitude is often tough and direct. But his kindness is hidden in his concrete actions, in every detail that protects the peace of mother and daughter.
She looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly in the yard. The door of the study was closed. The man was inside, guarding this home in his own way.
Lin Xueyin's mouth corners unconsciously raised into a gentle and determined arc.
"Well," she responded softly to her colleagues, her eyes softening, "He... is very good."
At that moment, the last vestiges of resentment from the past seemed to dissipate completely amidst the heartfelt admiration and envy of her colleagues. This warmth and protection amidst the ordinary and trivial moments was perhaps the most solid and precious form of happiness that life ultimately bestowed upon her.
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