Chapter 136 Who Will Proclaim the Way (Part 7) - An Embrace
Father? Is [New Japan] Bai Haoyan?
Du Yu was taken aback by the major news that the other party had casually dropped. In an instant, countless speculations flashed through his mind, but he quickly remembered a key question:
“I’ve heard people say that the Sun Worshippers, a church that worships the ‘New Sun,’ claims that the real sun died before the Great Cataclysm, and what hangs in the sky now is nothing but the remains of unknown creatures, the ‘Old Sun,’ the ‘False Sun.’ They claim that it is the light of the ‘Old Sun’ that has brought about the lingering ashes, and therefore they are determined to use an explosion to raise a new sun.”
"This viewpoint isn't wrong, except that it confuses the order of the [Old Days] and the arrival of the gray fog."
Icaria seemed to be just learning about the theory of the Sun Worship Cult. After thinking for a moment, he nodded. He knew what Du Yu really wanted to ask, so he didn't keep him in suspense any longer. His voice was as calm as if he were telling a story that didn't concern him.
"Whatever drove the [Old Day] to decide to follow his mother and ignite himself to become the sun, the moment he abandoned his mortal body, he was destined to become Him. The promises made before ascending to godhood will become shackles before they are fulfilled. The more sincere the vow, the more vicious the curse. The emotions that mortals cherish most seem ridiculous in the face of the long life of gods."
"With the distortion of time, promises once made sincerely will become unrecognizable. It is perfectly normal for the doctrines of the New Japan Church to conflict with its earliest aspirations."
From wanting to save their lover who had become the sun, to blowing up the false sun and creating a completely new world with the explosion, the grand vows made by the new sun at the beginning of their ascension to godhood can no longer be described as distorted. It can even be said that what the Sun Worship Cult is doing now is completely contrary to the original intention of their god.
But the original intention is the easiest thing to be tampered with.
Du Yu's brows furrowed involuntarily. Icaria had explained the origins of the City of the Sun very clearly; the only missing details were those that didn't affect the main theme, but...
Why does one's personality change so drastically after becoming a god?
Icaria's calm golden eyes finally flickered. He glanced at Du Yu but said nothing. Du Yu pursed his lips unhappily, surprised by Icaria's overly obvious expression: "Gods are just self-proclaimed by humans. If we're really going to argue, even the Lord of the Pure Sea, who is closest to ascending to the status of Night, is nothing more than a servant at the feet of a true god."
"Before the Source of everything, all living beings are equal ants. The so-called 'gods' are nothing more than slightly stronger servants who can prostrate themselves at the feet of the Source and not die."
"Even the title of 'servant' is an aspiration for these gods, because [Source] is omnipresent and omnipotent. He can achieve everything that humans can imagine, even beyond the boundaries of imagination. He has no need for so-called servants. The fact that we can still stand here, that the world still has a chance to breathe, is not because of human struggle, but because He doesn't care. [Source] cast a single glance and then left this universe. Humanity's rise and fall are both accidental..."
"Sorry, I think I'm being a bit too pessimistic."
Noticing that Du Yu's gaze was growing increasingly hostile, Icaria paused, ending his pessimistic discourse about the [Source]. Although he apologized, judging from his lengthy explanation, these thoughts had been bottled up in this sub-entity's mind for a long time, to the point that he was sharing them with a stranger.
Du Yu gave a half-smile and said, "It is indeed different from my philosophy, but you don't need to apologize to me. I respect everyone's right to decide their own lifestyle, but my time may not be long, so we'd better keep it short."
The floating fragments of memory around him gradually faded away. As Icaria spoke, he walked toward Du Yu. At this moment, Du Yu suddenly stopped and lowered his head slightly. The two were now less than an arm's length apart. Through Du Yu's calm eyes, Icaria seemed to see a cluster of vibrant purple flames burning fiercely, tearing through the surrounding darkness without regard for anything else.
Bright, dazzling, fearless and never thinking of retreat.
A hint of realization flickered in Icaria's golden eyes as she murmured, "It seems nothing can sway you... I understand now why I met you here."
"What?"
Du Yu glanced at Icaria in surprise, then looked down at the hand outstretched in front of him. After thinking for a moment, he put his hand on it, but there was no sticky warmth like he remembered when skin touched another person. Du Yu was chilled by the temperature of Icaria's body.
Du Yu frowned subconsciously. The cold, minty touch lasted only a moment. The next moment, Du Yu saw Icaria's skin suddenly become transparent, and her whole body looked like a phantom about to shatter.
As their clasped hands parted in mid-air, the anomaly on Icaria vanished. He explained softly, “The memories I inherited from the original body were sealed here precisely when it was in its most painful moment. It was nothing more than an ant’s last-ditch effort.”
"After the separation, 'I' lost the memories of my original self. There's nothing here. 'I' sit facing the stone wall day and night, and all I can do is repeatedly chew on those despairing memories and wishes that have no hope and no idea when they will be fulfilled. I don't know what my original self went through after that, but as long as he gives up, 'we' can all be freed."
"The 'me' who has that painful memory can't figure out what has kept the original body going until now, until 'I' finally waited for you here and saw you, and all my doubts were answered."
Du Yu shifted his gaze somewhat uncomfortably, knowing full well that the sub-body in front of Icaria did not share the same memories as the one crouching in the temple. When he used honorifics, his focused eyes almost made Du Yu think that he had that memory.
Something was placed in his palm—a piece of slightly dull, cloudy yellow crystal. Just as Du Yu was about to speak, he heard the other person's gentle explanation:
"Those who live in the cave, suddenly stepping from the illusory world created by projection into reality, may be burned to ashes by flames, or they may walk out into another light with a torch in hand. If you are prepared to face all reality, you can crush this piece of memory amber at the beginning of everything, where you will find what you want."
"What is that?"
Du Yu subconsciously pressed for an answer, yet inexplicably knew she wouldn't get one. Sure enough, she saw the man opposite her shake his head, offering a response that wasn't the riddle-like reply she usually received:
"Everyone gets something different there, but as long as they come back alive, they can get what they want most there."
Is it a strange place where things vary from person to person...?
As Du Yu pondered, Icaria recalled for a moment, flipping through an old memory album: "The answer I received there was an answer."
A vague understanding dawned on Du Yu's mind. She looked into those golden eyes and, sure enough, heard those words: "Regarding how to save the sun—only by entering the eternal night and paying homage to the origin can the universe, eroded by the gray fog, be reshaped. When the sun rises from the east, this land will regain its long-lost peace and freedom."
"Of course, as you can see, our efforts failed."
Icarusa...
The meaning of the name lingered between her teeth. Only today did Du Yu realize how much she enjoyed getting to the bottom of things, or perhaps, before heading to that mysterious place that supposedly could resolve all confusion, she wanted to get an answer from Icaria first:
"So you chose me again after failing? We made a deal: you help me, and I'll help you save the sun?"
After speaking impulsively, Du Yu felt a little regretful. She knew perfectly well that the Icaria sub-body in front of her only had fragmented memories, and the opportunity for her to cooperate with the other party was still yet to come. Her questioning would not get an answer.
Icaria tilted her head and thought for a moment, her golden eyes sweeping across the dim cavern around her. Her gaze lingered on Du Yu's pursed lips, and she gave a negative answer:
"I don't know the details of the cooperation, but based on my speculation, the entity probably won't do that."
"Why?"
Icaria's gaze remained calm, as if any sorrow had faded with time: "The moment the original body failed, 'we' knew that the sun was beyond saving."
"Entering the eternal night, paying homage to the origin, the desolate world will be reborn. However, what will rise again will be the sun of the past. The [Old Days] will be completely annihilated in a non-existent history, disappearing along with the gray mist."
"The Old Day has coexisted with the gray fog for so long that it has long since become one with it. This is the price of lighting up the sun with the body of a mortal. This is the curse that even gods cannot avert for the New Day."
"...You don't need to do that."
Icaria's words abruptly ceased. He raised his hand somewhat helplessly, unsure whether to respond to Du Yu's approach. His lifeless golden eyes flickered again, but this time it was out of bewilderment. He spoke incoherently, trying to organize his thoughts. At this moment, he was no different from the one crouching in Du Yu's temple, the one whose mind had been damaged by being sliced too many times. In fact, he seemed even more bewildered due to his panic.
"...That happened before I was born. Thank you for your comfort. I'm no longer at an age where I would feel sad about that. I..."
Someone patted me on the back reassuringly, like comforting a small animal trembling in fear during a thunderstorm.
Warmth traveled through his skin and flesh, and Icaria suddenly didn't know what to say, as if he had lost the ability to speak at this moment. His lips opened and then closed helplessly. At this moment, an unrelated thought surged into his mind: how long had it been since he, his main body, and all the sub-bodies that made up "Icaria" had been embraced?
Any clumsy explanation would seem hypocritical. The hand that had been hovering hesitantly around Du Yu's waist finally reached out and hugged Du Yu tightly. Icaria subconsciously turned her head and rubbed against the woman's neck. For a moment, he was in a daze. The sun he had been chasing would never return, but there would still be someone to give him a warm embrace.
Perhaps this is the inherent weakness of humanity: even when a person is used to pain, when faced with a comforting hug and kind care, resentment will still sprout from the withered heart, and the fruit that grows will be so sour and astringent that the whole heart will be crumpled up, and only a hug called care can cure it.
"……Thanks."
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Author's Note: A whole chapter! Now who can say I can't write romance? [sunglasses]
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