Chapter 109
Qu Xing glanced at him and then looked back, frowned, took a breath, lowered his head, and trembled very slightly.
"Xingxing..." Ling Yin knelt down and held the person with a wet upper body in his arms: "Are you feeling uncomfortable?"
Qu Xing still kept his head down, his breathing becoming increasingly rapid. The young man in his arms was shaking more and more violently, even sobbing in his breathing.
"Baby...it's okay, it's okay." Ling Yin hugged him tightly. It was the first time she saw him like this, and her heart ached.
"Brother..." Qu Xing called him with sobs.
"Yes, I'm here." Ling Yin responded, stroking the trembling boy.
Qu Xing's voice was extremely broken: "I'm scared..."
Ling Yin: "Yeah, I know, it's okay, I'm with you."
Qu Xing: "Don't leave."
Ling Yin: "I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere."
Qu Xing raised his head: "Please don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying to you."
Ling Yin looked at Qu Xing with an extremely pitiful look. The originally bright boy was so scared that he lowered his eyes to such a low level and pleaded with him pitifully.
Ling Yin couldn't help but raise her hands to cup his face, her heart trembling. She pressed her thumbs against the corners of the boy's eyes, trying to hide his pained expression. "I won't leave. I'll never leave you again. Even if you hit me or scold me, I won't leave."
Tears fell from Qu Xing's eyes: "I miss you so much."
“…”
The words, "I miss you so much," were laced with pitiful sobs, broken and broken, yet the eyes held an intense sincerity. Even through the tears, one could clearly see the love and longing given wholeheartedly. Unconditional. So passionate, and so brave.
Ling Yin was completely defeated by these four words.
"Yeah." Ling Yin wiped his tears: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby, I shouldn't have left, I'm sorry."
Qu Xing saw that the slender fingers that were wiping his tears were actually trembling slightly, and the face that always had a calm smile showed the pain of self-blame.
He cried mournfully, lowering his head and leaning on his shoulder, tears streaming down his face even more fiercely: "It was obviously...it was obviously me who asked you to leave, why are you apologizing? If you want to blame someone, blame me..."
Ling Yin's voice was so gentle that it was heartbreaking: "How can I blame you? I can't blame you no matter what. It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone for so long. I'm sorry."
Qu Xing raised her face again and sobbed, "I've missed you so much these past twenty days. Ling Yin, I miss you so much. I've been thinking about you since I knew you were leaving... and then I miss you more and more. I think you're such a bad guy... Why did you poison me? Why did you make me like you so much? From now on, I'll be scared if I'm away from you for even a moment. I'll be dead, brother."
"I miss you, too." Ling Yin looked at him gently and said, "I've been missing you since I knew I was leaving. I like you, too. We're the same. Don't be afraid, okay? I'm the same as you. Let's be together."
Qu Xing cried and shook her head: "No...you are different from me."
Ling Yin asked gently, "What's the difference?"
Qu Xing looked at Ling Yin with moist eyes: "You went to take a shower just now, and I was thinking about you when I was alone in the kitchen."
"I can't leave you for even a moment." He trembled helplessly and said, "Why am I like this... Why am I so scared?"
"You're sick, baby." Ling Yin hugged him and gently wiped away his tears. "It's okay. If you're scared, I'll stay with you forever. I won't leave you for even a moment, okay?"
"Why am I sick?" Qu Xing looked at him with frightened eyes, as if he knew nothing about everything. He was confused and ignorant like a child and could only ask questions helplessly.
Ling Yin frowned and said in a trembling voice, "Because someone hurt you."
"Why did you hurt me?" Qu Xing's tears began to fall again: "Why...why did you lie to me, why did you kill me, why did you cut my hand..."
Every time he said something, Ling Yin felt as if his heart was being cut by a knife, so painful that he couldn't breathe.
Qu Xing's voice was broken and trembling: "Why... shouldn't I exist? Shouldn't I exist?"
"No!" Ling Yin held his face with both hands and repeated, "No, baby."
The damp bathroom walls were cold, and Qu Xing felt very cold. He could hardly notice Ling Yin in front of him, and could hardly hear what he was saying.
Qu Xing: "Because I am a mistake... I was born by two inexplicable people, and ended up in the hands of a stranger."
Even he himself called his closest grandmother a stranger.
Ling Yin didn't know when he had started to remember these things so clearly. At this moment, he desperately hoped that he could forget them. But they seemed to be deeply engraved in his heart in a cruel way.
Qu Xing: "Because I shouldn't exist, right?"
"No, no." Ling Yin stared at him closely. "You are so amazing, so brilliant, and so many people like you. How could you not exist?"
Qu Xing looked at him steadily, his eyes trembling with a hint of hope.
Ling Yin said, "Baby, do you remember what I told you before? You are a gift created by God alone. You are just brought into this world through them. It is not up to them to decide whether you should exist or not. They have no right to do so. They are the ones who hurt you. You are not wrong."
Qu Xing couldn't help but shed tears again, "You too? Were you also created individually?"
"Me too, we all are." Ling Yin leaned over and kissed his tears, whispering, "Everyone is like this, you are not alone. We are all the same. No one can decide whether you should exist or not except yourself. You are just a little sick now, don't be afraid, okay? I will accompany you, I will not disappear."
"There are still many people who like you," Ling Yin said, "They won't disappear. You can feel that, right? There are so many people who care about you. How can you not exist?"
"Yeah." Qu Xing fell back into his arms, her body still trembling slightly, sobbing, and after a while she said, "But I'm still so scared."
Ling Yin sighed softly. Heartbroken and powerless, he could do nothing but hold him tightly, like a crying child having a nightmare. He tried his best to hold him in his arms, one hand on the back of his head, gently rubbing it, repeating over and over again, "It's okay, take your time. I'm here."
"Don't leave." Qu Xing leaned on him, his voice lowered: "You can't leave."
"Yeah." Ling Yin said, "I won't leave. I'm sorry Xingxing, I won't leave again."
"I will disappear if you leave." Qu Xing said softly, "I have already disappeared."
Ling Yin's breathing suddenly trembled a few times, and he felt guilty and blamed himself: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Xingxing. Please don't disappear. I'm back, so why don't you come back too? Otherwise, what should I do alone?"
"Okay." Qu Xing closed his eyes and said quietly, "I won't leave you alone. I love you."
Ling Yin hugged him tightly.
The two of them hugged each other quietly for a long time. The trembling of the young man in his arms had originally stopped, but for some reason, Ling Yin gradually felt that he was trembling very lightly again.
Ling Yin touched his cold, wet upper body and said, "Your clothes are wet. Can I carry you out to change?"
"I don't want to go out." Qu Xing raised his arm and put his arm around Ling Yin's neck, pressing his tear-soaked cheek against Ling Yin's: "I'm scared."
Before Ling Yin could speak, Qu Xing said, "Don't go out either. Don't leave me."
"I'm not leaving." Ling Yin kissed his hair: "Then take off your clothes and wear mine."
Qu Xing didn't say anything, just hugged him tightly.
Ling Yin embraced him and began to carefully peel his clothes off. Qu Xing was obedient, raising his arms when necessary and then placing them back on him. Once his entire upper body was stripped, he clung to him, as if afraid of the cold.
Ling Yin could only unbutton his shirt with great difficulty between their bodies pressed together. It took him a long time to take off his clothes and put them on Qu Xing. Qu Xing then obediently put on his sleeves.
Although Ling Yin usually looked slender, he looked even thinner in his clothes. He was secretly exercising every day, and he was already taller than Qu Xing and a bit bigger. When Qu Xing put on his clothes, the sleeves were noticeably longer, making it clear they weren't his.
Although Xingxing looked great in his clothes, Ling Yin had no time to let his thoughts wander. Qu Xing put on her clothes and lay in his naked arms for less than ten seconds before she suddenly leaned forward imperceptibly, her hands on his back becoming restless.
"……Star?"
Ling Yin lowered his head in surprise and wanted to look at him, but Qu Xing had already buried his face in his neck. A seductive breath, completely different from the trembling breath just now, spread from his neck.
Ling Yin's fingertips twitched, unsure of what this star was thinking. He stepped back, raised his index finger, and Qu Xing, following the gentle pressure of his finger, tilted his head to look at him, raising his eyes. Ling Yin saw that the sadness still lingered in his eyes, now thick with a layer of alluring desire, and stared directly into his eyes without disguising it.
Ling Yin sighed inwardly, rubbed his fingertips, lifted his chin and kissed him.
He wondered if the young man in his arms had recovered from his recent emotions, but it seemed he hadn't. Ling Yin's kiss, fearing to disturb or irritate him, was extremely gentle, almost soothing. The bathroom was damp and cool, its porcelain-white light shrouding it like dense, pale silver threads, twitching only slightly as their gentle, lingering kiss stirred. The scant ambiguity was absorbed by the cool steam.
However, soon, the silver thread suddenly trembled violently twice, twisting and breaking under the seemingly frail boy's sudden change of meaning. The air in the bathroom twisted wildly with the movement and sound of the two kissing.
Ling Yin had one leg stretched out, the other bent. Qu Xing knelt between them. Ling Yin couldn't help but grab the man's waist and pull him towards him. Qu Xing's left hand pushed up against his shoulder. Ling Yin leaned back, the cool, wet sensation bringing him a sudden clarity. He suddenly pulled his legs apart and gasped, "...Xingxing!"
Ling Yin tilted his head to avoid the person who was leaning closer and closer to him. His Xingxing's impulse came at a completely inopportune moment. A moment ago, he was emotionally devastated, but now he was silent and letting his desire take over. It was strange and unsettling.
But Qu Xing was stubborn, his face expressionless, his eyes brimming with lust as he stared directly into Ling Yin's eyes, instantly causing Ling Yin to lose half his rationality. He didn't intend to give Ling Yin the other half either, so he straddled Ling Yin, leaned forward, and sucked on his Adam's apple. In a tone clearly meant to seduce him, he called out in a hoarse voice, "Brother..."
Ling Yin raised his hand to support the back of the person in front of him. He closed his eyes slightly and compromised.
"Wait a minute, baby, go get it..."
"No need." Qu Xing hugged him tightly with both hands, wishing to squeeze himself into Ling Yin's body. He sat up a little.
The voice was light and faint, mixed with a frightening temptation: "Hurt me, brother."
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The author has something to say: Sorry for being late again, I had something else to do today, so this chapter took a while to write.
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