Chapter 144
Qu Xing knew why Ling Yin said "that's it".
All the fulcrums of the whole body are concentrated in that one spot... There is nowhere to grab in front, and there is only a Lingyin mark behind. The whole person is completely locked by him. If you want to hide, you will only sink deeper. Every struggle pushes yourself into the abyss where you are powerless to resist.
"Brother..." Qu Xing grabbed him from behind: "I'm going to die."
Ling Yin's voice was hoarse and he said, "Don't die."
“…”
Qu Xing raised her head, tears streaming down her face. One hand convulsively clawed at the wall in front of her, but she couldn't catch anything. Finally, she could only reach back and dig into Ling Yin's flesh, letting herself fall.
It's over.
Help.
"I love you." Ling Yin said in his ear.
Qu Xing: “…”
It's really over.
Is this how you celebrate winning a world championship?
The next day at noon.
Qu Xing had a fantastical dream, filled with flashes of white light. From time to time, something hot flashed past, carrying an electric current that sent shockwaves through his body and intoxicated his brain. In his intoxication, he became a strange person, completely unlike himself.
Qu Xing was frightened awake.
What caught my eye was Ling Yin's stunning face.
Qu Xing suddenly closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment.
Oh shit... that position was a little too stimulating. Why is there such a lingering aftertaste?
Qu Xing opened his eyes, then suddenly closed them again, his face feeling a little hot.
He forced himself to suppress the urge to pounce on her and kiss her fiercely, and rubbed her back gently.
He hadn't rested well, having only slept for a short time. But now it was too dangerous. He couldn't afford to sleep. He had to get away from this dangerous man. Otherwise, the sight of his face would drive him crazy. This man seemed to be constantly casting spells on him, making him feel weak and ache without doing anything. If he looked at him for a while longer, he felt like he would just throw himself at him and beg him to bully him.
But he couldn't bear it anymore.
It’s so terrible. So terrible.
Qu Xing carefully crawled out of the quilt, crawled to find his clothes, and just as he was about to grab them and put them on, his hand was grabbed.
Ling Yin: "Are you hungry?"
Qu Xing: “!”
He quickly put on his clothes and walked to the bed, shaking his head repeatedly: "I'm not hungry, not hungry."
Ling Yin: “?”
What's going on?
Ling Yin stood up and pulled his hand: "Xingxing?"
The terrible memory of last night was still vivid in his mind. When Qu Xing was touched by him, he felt that his hand was not his own. He quickly retracted his hand and ran away in panic.
My legs felt weak for a moment.
Ling Yin: “…”
"Xingxing~" Jiang Lin hugged Qu Xing.
Qu Xing was brushing his teeth in his room and kicked him: "Go away Linlin, I don't have the strength."
Jiang Lin didn't care what happened between him and Ling Yin. After winning the championship, he was completely obsessed with Qu Xing. He asked expectantly, "Will you sleep with me tonight?"
Qu Xing: "Impossible."
Jiang Lin was sad: "Why?"
Why? If Ling Yin knew about this, he would be in big trouble. Why...
Jiang Lin: "You sleep with me today."
Qu Xing ignored him, looked at the mirror and muttered softly: "I can't stay here today."
He had to slow himself down, otherwise he would become lustful the moment he saw Ling Yin. He couldn't indulge in lust all day long.
"When will we be back?" Qu Xing asked.
"I don't know." Jiang Lin came over and put her arm around him like a close friend. "Xingxing~ You didn't even take a photo with us yesterday."
Qu Xing said absentmindedly: "It's okay, we've already done it on stage."
Qu Xing pulled him away and finished washing up. He took out his phone and scrolled through it for a while, thinking for a moment. He patted Jiang Lin and said, "I'm leaving, Linlin."
Jiang Lin stretched out his hand: "Where to?"
“…”
Ling Yin packed up and went out to look for someone. After looking around, he couldn't find anyone. Then he saw a message in the group sent by Cixing.
I'm going to hang out with friends for a few days.
——Call me when you want to come back~
Le Anyi gulped down his hot juice and was stunned when he saw the message: "Huh? He has friends in San Francisco."
Zhou Si: "I just have a lot of friends... Wait, Ling Yin?"
Ling Yin stared expressionlessly at the "cool and far away" emoticon package that Qu Xing sent him privately.
Zhou Si: "Oh, has Xingxing's separation anxiety subsided? He looks like he's going out to play for a few days. Is he okay?"
Ling Yin: “…”
I don't know if anything happened, but it seems like I was really treated harshly this time. I loved you so much yesterday, but you were willing to run away?
But Ling Yin felt he couldn't be blamed for this. This star had always actively seduced him when she felt aroused. And he seemed a different person when they did it. The radiance he usually radiated was reduced to a tiny starlight in his eyes, shrouded in a mist. Zhang Yang's hair softened, falling messily across his forehead, sometimes brushing against the corners of his reddened eyes as he moved. Then he brushed the slightly sweaty hair back... and soon it fell back down again, moving in rhythm with his slightly parted lips.
In short, it is both charming and gorgeous.
Really, there is no way not to bully him.
Ling Yin thought that everything would be back to normal after the star came back.
Qu Xing also thought so.
But the moment he saw Ling Yin, his blood boiled over, and his entire body felt uncomfortable. He had this inexplicable, terrifying urge—to pounce on Ling Yin and hug her legs.
Oh my god...this is so scary!
Qu Xing shook silently, dragged the small box, and hid behind Zhou Si.
"What's wrong?" Zhou Si asked casually, picked something up from his hand and handed it to the back: "Here, your boarding pass."
Qu Xing took it and stuck half of his head out to take a look. Ling Yin's gaze was always on this side, looking down from above, with a smile in his eyes, and the meaning was unclear.
So handsome!
So handsome, so handsome, so handsome!!
Qu Xing found that he really wasn't like himself anymore. She wanted to pounce on him, to act like a spoiled child, to cling to him, to...
He quickly hid behind Zhou Si.
Although the atmosphere between the two was obviously not right, the crowd no longer considered it a quarrel, thinking it was just some romantic interest between a young couple. Therefore, no one paid any attention.
Ling Yin looked at Xingxing for a while, then looked away and sighed softly.
Never mind, let him rest for a while, this cat is easily frightened. If you act rashly, it will probably scare people away even further.
After returning home, Ling Yin went back home - Qu Xing declined his invitation and went to see Meng Hui. The next day, Qu Xing went to see Chen Qi - and again refused Ling Yin's request to accompany him.
There wasn't anything unusual going on, just a routine trip. He'd never been to a World Championship outside of China. He could actually accept that his grandmother had lied to him, having told Chen Qi about it during the summer season. He just couldn't accept it calmly. He still felt a pang of pain at the thought, and he was still a little reluctant to recall the past. The fragmented memories were still there, but he didn't feel like he was dead when he thought about it, nor did he experience so much uncontrollable fear.
"What about now? How do you feel when you mention grandma again?" Chen Qi asked.
Qu Xing lowered his eyes and thought for a while.
After a while, Qu Xing raised his eyes and smiled helplessly: "It's still very congested."
Chen Qi: "Do you still think grandma is unreal?"
Qu Xing shook his head: "Real."
"But she was very far away from me." He added: "Very, very far away. I felt like I didn't even know her."
Chen Qi: "What about your past memories? Is it difficult to recall them?"
Qu Xing: "Anyway, it's different from how I felt about what happened this year."
Chen Qi: "Does it feel bad?"
Qu Xing: "I wouldn't say I'm sad, but I can't be happy either. I can think about it, but I basically don't want to."
Chen Qi: "Is it coherent?"
Qu Xing shook his head.
Chen Qi smiled and said gently, "It doesn't matter. Some things are broken and they are broken. There is no need to force them to be fixed together completely. As long as it doesn't affect your life, it's fine."
Qu Xing: "It shouldn't have much of an impact...it didn't have much of an impact anyway."
"How's your mood?" Chen Qi asked, "Do you occasionally feel sad, excited, or anxious?"
Qu Xing: “…”
He felt as if he was often very excited.
"Sadness is rare, anxiety is occasional, excitement..." Qu Xing glanced at him: "Does it count if I get excited when I see Ling Yin?"
"Oh." Chen Qi was stunned for a moment, thinking: "This... is it very emotional? Is it reflected in the body?"
Qu Xing: “…I think so.”
"Yeah." Chen Qi: "Besides the fact that you are naturally emotionally rich, it may be that your mental state is a little bit overwhelmed. But that's okay. As long as he can accept your feelings, that's fine."
Qu Xing said silently: "Oh."
"I've noticed you seem to be really sentimental." Chen Qi said with a smile, "You're a very loving child at heart. Is that why it's so hard for you to accept that grandma might not love you that much?"
Qu Xing looked away.
This is something I don't even want to talk about.
Chen Qi smoothly slid into another topic, looked at him and asked with a smile, "Now, are the two identities of 'the grandmother who has been with you for 18 years' and 'a stranger whose name you don't even know' still incompatible with each other for you, or can you allow them to exist at the same time?"
Qu Xing nodded: "Yes, that's her. What I don't know and what I do know make up her."
Chen Qi couldn't help but laugh and said casually, "He's really a very charming kid."
"I've done a lot of psychological counseling," Chen Qi said. "I've never met someone with such passionate, rich, and pure emotions."
Chen Qi looked at him and shook his head, emphasizing again: "Never seen it before."
Qu Xing looked at him.
Chen Qi said: "Generally speaking, such children must have received a lot of love in their childhood. They did not have to expend a lot of energy dealing with negative emotions, dealing with the pressure from the environment and parents, and did not have to suppress their own needs. Only such people can shift more energy from self-protection to loving others."
"People who come here to see me usually don't have this kind of childhood." Chen Qi said, "Even among the healthier people I've met, none are like you, so... almost free of negative emotions. Dislike? Hate? I don't feel that kind of emotion in you."
Qu Xing realized that there really wasn't any. He had used all his dislike and hatred to express his feelings to Ling Yin. He would just forget about the people he really disliked.
Chen Qi: "You have so much energy that it's easy for you to fall in love with the world, your family, your friends, and your lover. You can like everything."
Qu Xing felt a little embarrassed by what he said.
Chen Qi looked at him and said softly, "It shows that your grandmother raised you very well."
Qu Xing blinked and nodded.
Chen Qi: "You were raised to be this kind of person. It's impossible for grandma not to love you. On the contrary, she must love you very, very much. Maybe the love is beyond your imagination."
Qu Xing was stunned, looking at him with big eyes: "Beyond my imagination?"
Chen Qi: "Yes, grandma is no longer with us, so many things can't be verified. But Xingxing, have you ever thought that maybe that bookshelf isn't the whole story? Grandma did lie to you and hid many things from you, but human emotions are so subtle and complex. Behind a simple thing lies a vast and unpredictable array of thoughts. We can't explore it."
Qu Xing was a little dazed, as if he had realized something.
Chen Qi: "Maybe grandma really wanted to leave, but she stayed with you until the end, right?"
Qu Xing nodded blankly: "Yes, she...she..."
Qu Xing didn't know what to say.
Chen Qi smiled and said, "And there is an obvious fact, that is, she must love you very much."
Qu Xing nodded silently: "Yeah."
Chen Qi: "Let's not delve into the unknown, let's just look at what we can confirm, okay?"
Qu Xing pursed his lips lightly and nodded: "Okay."
"Come see me anytime." Chen Qi said, "It's okay, everything will be fine."
Qu Xing stirred, and as if Chen Qi suddenly remembered something, he said, "Oh, yes, Ling's parents also raised him very well."
Qu Xing turned his gaze back again, his face full of curiosity.
"Although I'm not familiar with Xiaoyin, I'm quite familiar with his parents." Chen Qi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "His mother said that Xiaoyin is also a very emotional child."
Qu Xing subconsciously smiled, "But he looks so indifferent on the surface."
Chen Qi smiled: "You also said it was just on the surface."
Chen Qi said in amazement, "So you two are really a perfect match? I told his mother before that being too sentimental can easily get hurt, but I never thought I'd meet you. You're truly a match made in heaven."
Qu Xingxin thought that it was true, he and Ling Yin were made for each other, a match made in heaven, they had to be together no matter what, and once they were together they would never be separated!
Thinking of this, Qu Xing suddenly missed Ling Yin again and regretted not letting Ling Yin come with him. After chatting with Chen Qi and going out, he was still thinking about someone and fumbled with his phone to call Ling Yin.
Unexpectedly, Ling Yin was waiting for him at the hospital gate.
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