Episode 294: Inner Struggle



His phone lit up again; it was Su Rui again. This time, she posted a photo of a sycamore tree outside the hospital, its branches sprouting new green leaves. The caption read, "Spring is coming." The sunlight in the photo was beautiful, and the dewdrops on the new leaves glistened, just like the sycamore tree outside his university dormitory. He remembered once when it was raining, Ah Yu tilted her umbrella towards him, getting half her shoulder soaked, but she smiled and said, "You can't get sick; you still have to come with me to the concert."

Zhong Hua stood up, walked to the window, and pushed open the glass. Raindrops pattered on his face, carrying a damp coolness. The streetlights in the distance shimmered in the rain and mist, appearing as warm yellow hues, like stars fallen to the ground. He remembered the photos of the starry sky Su Rui had shown him, taken with a telescope. The Milky Way flowed across the black sky, so dazzling it left him speechless. "Look," Su Rui had said softly, "the universe is so vast, and many things aren't actually that important." Her voice, though soft, struck him like a hammer blow.

He took out his phone, his finger hovering over the screen for a long time before finally typing: "I'm free tomorrow morning, send me your address." As the notification popped up, he heard his own heartbeat, mingled with the sound of rain, exceptionally clear. The rain outside had lessened somewhat, and the wind carried the earthy scent of spring.

The drawer was gently closed, and the tin box returned to its deepest part. Zhong Hua gazed at the rain outside the window and suddenly remembered many years ago when Ah Yu shouted to him from downstairs in the dormitory, "Zhong Hua, we will both be happy!" The moonlight that day, just like today, gently shone on them, and Ah Yu's eyes shone as if they contained the entire starry sky.

He picked up his coat draped over the back of the chair, and a half-used fountain pen peeked out of the pocket—a graduation gift from Lin Wanqing. The words "Original Aspiration" were engraved on the pen, and the nib could still write smoothly. He remembered Lin Wanqing saying, "No matter how far you go, don't forget why you started." He didn't understand then, but now he did: some choices aren't about right or wrong, but about bearing the corresponding consequences.

The rain was still falling, but a faint light seemed to be breaking through the clouds. Zhong Hua locked his office door, and the motion-activated lights in the corridor flickered on and off with his footsteps. As the elevator descended, he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed a few barely noticeable gray hairs at his temples. His phone vibrated; it was an address from Su Rui, followed by the message, "I baked cranberry cookies." He remembered Su Rui busy in the kitchen, wearing an apron, the sunlight falling on her hair like it was edged with gold.

Stepping out of the office building, the rain had stopped. The air was filled with the scent of fresh grass, and the puddles under the streetlights reflected the hazy moonlight. Zhong Hua took a deep breath, the cool air filling his lungs with a long-lost refreshing crispness. He walked towards his car, his steps lighter than before. Perhaps, as Su Rui had said, spring was coming, and it was time for him to try and embrace his own spring.

He stopped as he passed the convenience store on the street corner. A job posting on the glass door reminded him of the days he and Ah Yu worked part-time there during college. Ah Yu would always sneak some oden during her night shift, and when the owner caught her, she'd stick out her tongue and drag him along to apologize. Those were tough times, but he always felt the future held endless possibilities. He stood there for a moment, then turned and left. The convenience store in his rearview mirror grew smaller and smaller, like a piece of time fading into the distance.

An old CD played in the car, from Ah Yu's favorite band. When the familiar melody began, Zhong Hua didn't change the station. His fingers tapped lightly to the beat on the steering wheel, a faint smile unconsciously playing on his lips. The plane trees lining the road sprouted new buds, their tender green leaves unfurling in the night. He knew that some people and things would forever remain in his heart, but life had to go on. Just like the ever-changing seasons, no matter how long winter may be, spring will always arrive on schedule.

Before his phone screen went dark, he saw a message from Su Rui: "See you tomorrow." It was followed by a smiley face emoji, simple yet warm. Zhong Hua started the car, the engine sound breaking the silence of the night, the headlights cleaving through the darkness ahead, illuminating a road leading to dawn.

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