How much resentment does a snowy winter hold?
The cool air touched her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. Zhu Liji's kiss moved down from her lips, leaving a warm, moist trail.
Zhiwei bit her tongue, the taste of blood spreading in her mouth. She used all her strength to turn her head away, and a strange, tingling, and weak feeling spread, making her feel dizzy.
"Your Majesty, it's me, Yan Zhiwei!" Zhiwei tried her best to retreat and escape, but Zhu Liji's strength was too great. He kept chasing after Zhiwei's lips and teeth, as if he wanted to crush her whole body and swallow her whole.
The heat pierced Zhiwei, and then something warm and sticky flowed out, dripping onto Zhiwei's body.
Shame and excruciating pain washed over her at once, blurring Zhiwei's vision. She gritted her teeth, struggling the whole time. Zhu Liji's hand climbed onto her leg, and she kicked, but he grabbed her ankle with such force it could almost break it.
Zhiwei sobbed, the sound stuck in her throat, like torn silk.
Zhu Liji's movements did not pause at all; on the contrary, they became even more ruthless, as if he wanted to unleash all the obsession that had been accumulating for many years.
The curtains swayed, and sobs mixed with gasps echoed in the empty palace.
Zhiwei's fingernails dug into her palms, cold sweat trickled down her temples, and her consciousness oscillated between pain and dizziness. Finally, she stopped struggling and buried her face in the pillow.
My body ached with suffocating pain, and my mind was filled with countless images: the salty sea breeze of Lingnan, the warmth of huddled together in a cave in Sichuan, the icy chill of the Xin Zhe Ku water, the excruciating pain of my wrist being broken, the burning sensation of thirty strokes of the cane falling on my body...
Countless fragments intertwined, and hatred entwined her heart like a poisonous vine. Knowing she couldn't break free, Zhiwei could only roar in her heart.
She hated him, hated his heartlessness and domineering nature, which robbed her of all the joy and possibilities in her life; she hated his selfishness and cowardice, who only greedily took and never gave.
Zhiwei's mouth was being bitten by the barbarians on her body, and everything she could touch was knocked to the ground. The room was quiet, and even Pinghai, who was usually sharp-witted, seemed to have disappeared.
The taste of blood still lingered in her mouth, and she finally gave up resisting, letting herself sink into this chaotic and violent abyss.
——
The Hall of Mental Cultivation, early morning.
Zhu Liji awoke on the dragon bed with a splitting headache, yet strangely felt a long-lost sense of relaxation. He moved and sensed someone beside him.
Zhiwei, wrapped in a brocade quilt, curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed. Seeing him wake up, she immediately threw off the quilt and got up, her movements carrying a hint of barely perceptible stiffness.
Her face was flushed with an unnatural redness, her lips were slightly swollen, and there was still some moisture in the corners of her eyes. Her usually calm and serene phoenix eyes were now shimmering with water, revealing a strange and alluring charm.
"Your Majesty is awake. Is there anything wrong?" Zhiwei's voice was a little hoarse.
Zhu Liji rubbed his temples, his gaze lingering on her face. He felt that something about this person had changed overnight, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
He waved his hand: "It's alright. Last night... was it you who kept watch?"
"I was quite drunk; did I lose my composure?"
Zhiwei lowered her eyes, avoiding his scrutiny, and gently shook her head: "His Majesty rested as soon as he returned, and there was nothing else."
Zhiwei turned and walked to the window. As usual, she gently parted the curtain with trembling fingers. The morning light shone on her profile, casting a thin layer of paleness. Outside, the palace servants began to move about; everything seemed normal.
Zhu Liji stared at Zhiwei for a long time, then hummed in agreement, stood up, and opened his arms.
Zhiwei silently stepped forward to help him change his clothes. As she moved, her fingertips occasionally brushed against his skin, carrying a slight coolness. Zhu Liji looked at her lowered head, hesitant to speak.
"Does Your Majesty have any further instructions?" Zhiwei asked, looking up.
Zhu Liji was silent for a moment, then said, "Yesterday in Kunning Palace, I acted impulsively. Go to the storeroom later and get some of the best medicine and tonics to send to the Empress."
Zhiwei lowered her eyes and replied, "Yes."
Zhu Liji added, "The year-end is approaching, and I plan to lift the ban on Kunning Palace after New Year's Day. Please take good care of it during this time."
He seemed to be explaining, or perhaps telling himself, "Always keeping things under control isn't a solution."
“Yes,” Zhi smiled, “His Majesty is benevolent and remembers old friendships; Her Majesty the Empress will surely be grateful for His Majesty’s grace.”
Zhu Liji straightened his cuffs, looked out the window, and his tone returned to its usual indifference.
"The Empress is, after all, the Empress, not one of those palace maids who can be dealt with at will. Etiquette must not be violated."
"This servant understands." Zhiwei bowed. "I will go and do it right away."
——
The sky was bright and clear that day, but the air was already filled with the chill of winter. Zhiwei went alone to the incense-making room that Zhu Liji had granted her permission to use. The room was warm and cozy, and the stone mortar was piled high with various herbs.
The mortar and millstone rubbed together, producing a dull, rhythmic sound that masked the approaching footsteps outside the door.
Zhiwei lowered her eyes, carefully scraping the dark brown herbal powder from the mortar into a porcelain bowl. A strange, bitter fragrance filled the room, completely different from the elegant incense she usually liked to mix.
“Miss Yan,” Pinghai’s voice rang out from outside the door, neither too loud nor too soft, just enough to interrupt her actions, “It’s almost time to send the meal to Her Majesty the Empress.”
"Understood." Zhiwei responded, and her hands moved faster, quickly gathering the stone mortar and a pile of odds and ends together, covering them tightly with a thick cloth, and stuffing them into the bottom of the low cabinet in the corner.
She opened another drawer and took out a small brocade box that had been prepared beforehand, inside which lay a stick of incense. After composing herself, she got up and opened the door.
Zhiwei, acting on Zhu Liji's orders, frequently visited Kunning Palace, ostensibly to visit, but in reality, to keep watch. Zhiwei carried a food box and slowly walked through the corridor. In truth, she had nothing to do. Since Cheng Yuzhi's confinement, she had become much more distant from Zhiwei. Even if Zhiwei spent half a day in Kunning Palace, she wouldn't turn around to say a few words to her.
Perhaps in Cheng Yuzhi's heart, she already belonged to Zhu Liji, so she didn't even bother to give him a glance.
She considered it a leisurely task. Zhiwei stood in front of Kunning Palace, waiting for the maid to announce her arrival, and yawned out of boredom.
When the door opened, a gust of cold wind rushed in, carrying with it the lingering smell of medicine, making her fingertips feel cold.
Zhiwei lowered her head and entered the palace, only to find that there was no charcoal fire lit in the palace today, and it was as cold as an ice cellar.
Zhiwei glanced around; the furnishings inside the hall remained unchanged.
Cheng Yuzhi sat leaning against the headboard, covered with a thick quilt. She was so thin that she was almost unrecognizable, but her spine remained upright and dignified, like a pine branch that would not break in the cold wind.
Zhiwei's gaze swept over the small table by the bedside, which was piled with bird's nest and ginseng. The quality was excellent, but it did not come from the storeroom of the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Judging from the pattern on the brocade box, it was not from the palace either.
Zhiwei understood that the Crown Prince or the Cheng family had probably gone to great lengths to send her in, just to ensure Cheng Yuzhi's safety and well-being.
Zhiwei remained silent and unmoved, opening the food box layer by layer and setting out the bowls and chopsticks.
"Your Majesty, please have some porridge. It's been cooked very well today," Zhiwei said softly.
She was prepared to be ignored. She secretly lit an incense stick. It didn't matter if Cheng Yuzhi didn't speak to her, as long as she could eat more than yesterday. After all, Cheng Yuzhi's knot in her heart was a knot that was hard to untie, and Zhiwei never expected it to be easy to untie.
Just focus on doing your own thing.
Zhiwei held the bowl of porridge in both hands, and Cheng Yuzhi's gaze slowly shifted to it, landing on the bowl of porridge, her eyes flickering slightly.
After a long silence, she suddenly spoke, her voice hoarse: "You've come."
Zhiwei was slightly taken aback; this was the first time Cheng Yuzhi had spoken to her since the beginning of winter.
"Yes," Zhiwei replied, following Cheng Yuzhi's gesture to sit down beside her bed.
Cheng Yuzhi suddenly said, "Do you remember when you first came out of the Xin Zhe Ku?"
“She was so thin she was just skin and bones, and her hand was broken. Granny Jiang told me that this girl must have suffered a lot.” Cheng Yuzhi smiled, somewhat with difficulty. “At that time, I thought, I only regret that I was not strong enough to rescue you sooner, and that you were forced to take half your life.”
"I still remember when you first entered Chuxiu Palace, you had nightmares every day. Are you feeling any better now?" Cheng Yuzhi asked with concern.
"Your Majesty has such a good memory. I've been away from Kunning for so many years, yet you still remember me." Zhiwei tightened her grip on the handkerchief. "Speaking of which, I must thank Your Majesty for saving me from this misery."
Although she was genuinely grateful, Zhiwei also had some doubts in her heart. Cheng Yuzhi never liked to bring up the past, so why did she suddenly bring this up today?
Cheng Yuzhi continued to ramble on, "Later, when you went to the East Palace, Sheng'er always praised you to me, saying that you were meticulous in your work and even taught him how to write policy essays." Cheng Yuzhi's voice lowered a bit, "Sheng'er is a good child, but he is too honest. He doesn't understand any of the intricacies of the palace."
She suddenly grabbed Zhiwei's hand, not with much force, but with a tight grip, which startled Zhiwei.
"Zhiwei, I'm begging you, please take better care of him from now on. Wanzhen'er is cunning, and my family has no power. What if Sheng'er gets schemed against..."
"Your Majesty!" Zhiwei quickly stopped her. "You are overthinking it. His Highness the Crown Prince is benevolent, filial, and intelligent, and His Majesty is a loving father. You just need to rest and recuperate, and everything will be alright."
Cheng Yuzhi was acting strangely today, revealing her innermost thoughts one after another, her words sounding as if she were making her final arrangements.
Zhiwei felt a slight chill run down her spine. She remembered that Cheng Yuzhi was a sentimental person. She had said enough comforting words, so she suppressed the surging thoughts in her heart and offered a few more roundabout words of advice.
Remembering the calming incense that Cheng Yuzhi had asked her maid to make a few days ago, Zhiwei took it out from her sleeve, placed it on the incense table, and lit it. A wisp of smoke rose up, carrying a light, calming fragrance.
Upon smelling the fragrance, Cheng Yuzhi suddenly asked, "What day is it today?"
"Your Majesty, tomorrow is Minor Snow."
“Oh…” Cheng Yuzhi pondered for a moment, “It really is winter.”
Zhiwei's heart stirred, and she said in a low voice, "Yes, another year is about to pass. I imagine that Your Majesty's health will be good during the festival, and you will be able to celebrate the Spring Festival with everyone." Her words were subtle, but they implied that Zhu Liji was likely to be released from confinement on New Year's Eve.
Upon hearing this, Cheng Yuzhi's eyelids twitched slightly, but she ultimately said nothing more.
Seeing that she looked extremely tired, Zhiwei got up and took her leave: "Your Majesty, please rest well. I will come again tomorrow."
——
As we left Kunning Palace, the sky was overcast.
After finishing her work for the day, Zhiwei finally breathed a sigh of relief. As she walked back to the palace, she suddenly felt a chill on her forehead. Looking up, she saw snowflakes falling from the sky. At first, they were sparse, but gradually they turned into a flurry of goose feather snow.
In the blink of an eye, the palace tiles gradually turned white.
"It's snowing!" Shao Yang exclaimed in delight. "Master, what a heavy snowfall! A good snow promises a bountiful harvest!"
Following the faint sound, I looked up and felt the cool snowflakes fall on my cheeks, melting instantly.
She hadn't seen such a refreshing snowfall in a long time. When she first arrived in the capital, Zhiwei had also looked forward to it, but the snow always came late in those years. Either the snow arrived too late, or the weather was already cold, or she had to carefully plan how to get through the winter. There were very few opportunities like this.
Snowflakes landed on my eyebrows, smoothing my furrowed brows and soothing the long-standing, lingering unease in my chest.
Taking advantage of a rare moment of leisure, Zhiwei suddenly felt playful. She wrapped her bright red satin coat tighter around herself, grabbed a handful of snow, kneaded it into a ball, and laughed as she threw it at Shaoyang.
"Ah!" Shao Yang exclaimed in surprise, laughing back. The two, master and servant, chased and frolicked in the snow, their laughter ringing out.
Her red outfit stood out against the white snow, like a dancing flame.
In the distant lakeside pavilion, Zhu Liji and Jiang Tan were discussing matters around a fire.
"Your Majesty, the palace banquet for the Minor Snow solar term has been prepared, but..." Jiang Qin reported, but Zhu Liji's gaze was fixed outside the pavilion, and he did not pay attention to what Jiang Qin was saying.
He followed the gaze and saw Zhiwei bending over, scooping up snowflakes. Her cheeks were slightly red from the cold, but she was smiling with her eyes crinkling, full of vibrant life.
Jiang Qin couldn't help but smile slightly and said in a low voice, "Miss Yan... is always so full of life."
Zhu Liji withdrew his gaze, picked up his teacup, and curled his lips into a smile.
"What, are you engrossed in looking at her?" His tone was unreadable. "If you like her, I'll bestow her upon you, how about that?"
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