The next day, while it was still dark, Huo Qingfeng got up. Without waking his wife, he left a note and departed.
Ling Ruoke's eyes were still closed. She instinctively reached to the side—no one was there, and it was cold! She suddenly opened her eyes; it was already broad daylight. She was alone in the room; he had already returned to his unit.
I slowly sat up, looking at the light streaming in through the window, feeling somewhat lost. I sat there blankly for a while before finally throwing off the covers and getting out of bed.
There was a note on the table, pressed down by a book: "Baby, wait for me to come back!"
Ling Ruoke picked up the note and repeatedly stroked the powerful characters on it. The image of that handsome, masculine face flashed through her mind like a film, showing a variety of expressions.
I took a deep breath, flashed a sweet smile at myself in the mirror, put the note in the storage box as usual, and happily went inside to wash up before exercising. I hummed a song as I made breakfast, ate it while watching TV, and then drove my Beetle to work.
Ling Ruoke, you can do it!
The company's operations are running smoothly, so it's time to focus on routine matters. However, because I haven't been at work for a few days, I've accumulated a lot of emails, and naturally, tasks have piled up as well. The morning flew by in a flurry of activity.
At lunchtime, Mei Yanting knocked on the door and came in, asking if she wanted to have lunch together.
Ling Ruoke was slightly surprised. Mei Yanting always brought her own lunch, so why was she inviting her to eat out together? "Why aren't you bringing lunch today? Don't you usually bring your own lunch?"
“My husband Chen Shan said it’s not good to always eat leftovers, so he told me not to always bring my own lunch.” Mei Yanting’s eyes were full of smiles, and she seemed very proud when she mentioned Chen Shan.
Ling Ruoke frowned slightly but offered no comment. "Chen Shan can't come back often. Is he used to being alone?"
"It's alright. I used to be alone too, but now that I know he'll be coming home soon, I feel at ease. You said being a military wife is so tough, which scared me. But now I think it's pretty good."
Ling Ruoke nodded. "That's good. The clothes are very pretty and suit you well. Did Chen Shan buy them for you?"
“I bought these myself, aren’t they pretty? My husband Chen Shan says that women should dress up more while they’re young so they won’t regret it when they’re old. I bought two pieces of underwear, 108 yuan each, which I was hesitant to buy at the time. When I called him, he said that as long as it’s not a piece of clothing that costs more than a thousand yuan, it’s not expensive.” The pride in her voice was impossible to hide.
Ling Ruoke frowned even more deeply at the smug look on her face. She remembered Qingfeng saying that Chen Shan's family wasn't that wealthy. They were married now and didn't even have a house. Was this kind of spending okay? Or were they planning to rent for the rest of their lives? Even so, wouldn't they have to pay rent? How would they raise a child? "Yanting, do you have any plans to buy a house, or are you going to continue renting? Are you planning to have children?"
Mei Yanting turned to look at her, paused for a moment, and looked a little confused. "If possible, we would certainly like to buy a house. We don't have the means yet, so we'll have to rent for now, but I believe things will get better. As for children, we haven't thought about it yet."
Chen Shan and Mei Yanting are still young, so having children can indeed be postponed. "Although houses in Z City are not expensive, if you want to buy a house, you still need to make a plan. You need to plan how to spend and save your money."
That's all she could say; the rest was up to Mei Yanting to understand.
Mei Yanting paused for a moment. "Sister Ximeng, I understand."
During their meal, Ling Ruoke didn't bring up the topic again. Mei Yanting, on the other hand, kept talking about it, always referring to "our Chen Shan," which sounded a bit awkward, but she didn't want to say anything to her.
...
In the blink of an eye, Huo Qingfeng had been back in the army for more than twenty days.
Ling Ruoke is busy with work every day, and then focuses her energy on writing novels when she gets home at night, so life isn't too difficult. It's just that sometimes, facing the huge, empty house, she feels a little lost. So, after eating, she would go to her dormitory room, where the relatively smaller space made her feel more comfortable.
It's already November, nearing the end of the year. The New Year's promotion season is approaching, and the company's projects have increased, so there's a lot to do every day.
Sometimes, Ling Ruoke's entire day is spent in meetings. Once one project is finished, the next one begins. After returning from a meeting with a client, internal company meetings follow. One meeting piles on top of another, her time is completely filled.
With the increase in projects, more staff was naturally needed. Most of these staff members were new, requiring systematic training to get them up and running quickly. Ling Ruoke included Mei Yanting in the program, hoping she could use this opportunity to grow and develop.
The trainer was naturally Ling Ruoke herself, as Xia Mo and the others didn't have the extra time. Giving lectures was easy; the most difficult part was preparing the course materials. Ling Ruoke worked overtime for several days in a row, and hadn't had a hot meal she cooked herself for days. Sometimes she wouldn't get home until midnight, and after a quick shower, she could fall asleep immediately.
When Huo Qingfeng called, she didn't dare let him know she was working overtime. She deliberately changed the subject or made him think she was typing in bed. She was afraid he would worry and not be able to concentrate on his missions.
Ling Ruoke felt that being busy had its advantages. Once she was busy, she didn't have time to feel lonely or isolated. She could fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and sleep soundly until dawn, feeling comfortable and relaxed. Whenever she had free time, she couldn't help but think of him. The photos of them together on her desk and bedside table were almost worn through from her hands.
Ling Ruoke sometimes found it strange; she'd experienced similar days before, but never felt this intense longing. Perhaps it was the words he'd spoken that day that had truly left a mark on her heart. Several times, hearing his voice on the phone almost brought her to tears. She didn't know why, but she felt an overwhelming longing for him, and a deep sense of grievance.
Yang Ziyun would often call to remind her to take care of her health so she could give her a big, healthy grandson. Whenever this happened, Ling Ruoke felt even more wronged and wanted to yell at her over the phone, but she could only hold back.
It was Saturday noon. Ling Ruoke bought toys, milk powder, little clothes, and fruit, and went to Tan Peishi's house.
Mrs. Tan was cooking in the kitchen, while Tan Peishi was playing with the children on the sofa.
Ling Ruoke chatted with Tan's mother for a few minutes, then sat down on the other side of the child and quietly watched Tan Peishi hold the child's little feet and tease him.
Tan Peishi looked up and gazed at her quietly for a moment. "What's wrong? Something on your mind?"
Ling Ruoke touched her brow, frowning. "I don't know how to say it, it's not exactly a worry."
Tan Peishi picked up the child and snuggled close to her. "Tell me about it."
Ling Ruoke thought for a while before slowly speaking. "Peishi, do you sometimes miss Fu Peigang terribly? I don't know why, I never used to feel this way, it's been really strange lately. Whenever I have nothing to do, I think about him, it's like my heart is pounding. Sometimes when I hear his voice on the phone, I feel like crying. I've never felt like this before, I don't know what's wrong with me!"
Tan Peishi looked at her seriously. "Ruo Ke, tell me honestly, did something happen? I've had this feeling before, but it's usually caused by something, it's not without reason."
"But I just had no reason to cry, there really wasn't anything wrong with me." Ling Ruoke's face was streaked with tears.
"Are you really alright?"
"No, I really don't! Would I lie to you?"
Tan Peishi knew this; Ruoke hated lying the most, even white lies would make her feel bad. "That's strange, why have you suddenly become so sentimental? There are no emotions in this world without a reason."
"I don't know either. I just feel like I'm not in a good state right now, and I'm afraid it will get worse if it goes on." Ling Ruoke was worried that one day she would become unreasonable and argumentative. She was really worried that one day she would have a big fight with Huo Qingfeng, not letting him go back to the army or serve in the military, just wanting him to stay with her. She had seen such cases on TV, and she didn't want to become like that.
Tan Peishi put the child down and put her arm around Ruoke's shoulder. "Ruoke, maybe you've been too tired lately. When people are tired, they are more prone to these sensitive emotions. Why don't you go on a trip to relax?"
"Where are we going? Besides, is it fun for me to travel alone? Why don't you come with me?" Ling Ruoke was just joking; she had a baby to take care of, how could she leave him behind?
Tan Peishi was also troubled. "How about I hire someone to come back and help my mom take care of the kids, and then the two of us can go on a trip for a few days?"
Ling Ruoke hugged her back, feeling that it was really nice to have such a friend. "No need. You should take good care of the child. I'll figure out how to adjust myself. Maybe it's because he used to come back for a day or even just one night and then go back to his unit, but this time he stayed with me for several days, and I'm suddenly not used to it."
"If it still doesn't work, you must tell me, and we'll figure something out together." Tan Peishi was afraid that she would overthink things and cause problems.
Ling Ruoke nodded, feigning nonchalance, and said, "Of course. If I don't tell you, who else would I tell?"
Back home that evening, Ling Ruoke finished writing her novel and lay in bed pondering Tan Peishi's suggestion. Should she really go on a trip? But would it be fun to travel alone? Everyone else goes on trips in pairs or groups; wouldn't it feel even more lonely to go alone?
After much thought, Ling Ruoke decided to go to Cuiping Peak again tomorrow morning. A hike and some mountain breeze might just help.
The next morning, after bringing some food and drinks, Ling Ruoke drove straight to Cuiping Peak.
The last time she came with Huo Qingfeng, it happened to be a weekday, so there weren't many people. This time it was the weekend, so there were more people. But if you looked closely, everyone else had come in groups, except for her, who was alone.
She was walking alone when she encountered several young men. Seeing that she was alone, they came over to strike up a conversation with her. Ling Ruoke ignored them, lingered for a while, and then they left.
Halfway up the mountain, Ling Ruoke found a quiet, breezy spot and sat alone for over an hour. She ate while enjoying the breeze, feeling an indescribable sense of loneliness.
When two people come together, even if there's no scenery at all, everything looks beautiful. But when one person comes alone, it seems like nothing is interesting.
As she descended the mountain, Ling Ruoke sighed, realizing something was really wrong with her. She didn't know what was happening; this emotion seemed to originate from her body, not her heart. It seemed completely out of control, just running rampant and causing chaos.
The next day at noon, Ling Ruoke didn't go out for lunch but ordered takeout. She ordered steamed pork ribs and ginseng chicken soup. While she was eating, Mei Yanting knocked on the door.
Mei Yanting tugged at the door, blinking her big eyes as she asked, "Sister Ximeng, may I come in?"
"Come in."
Mei Yanting walked in, sat down in the chair opposite her, placed her hands on the desk, and stared at her closely.
Ling Ruoke was puzzled by her gaze. "Why are you staring at me?"
"Sister Ximeng, is something wrong? You seem very unhappy lately. I've seen you frowning several times. You used to love to smile, and I always saw you smile so gently."
Ling Ruoke was taken aback, not expecting it to be so obvious. "It's nothing. It's just that it's the end of the year, and there's been a lot going on, so I'm a bit tired. I guess I've been too indulgent lately and I'm not used to this fast-paced life."
"Oh, then you should take a good rest. Anyway, you're the boss, so you don't have to take attendance every day, right?" Mei Yanting didn't think too much about it; she just felt that it was her own company, and she could do whatever she wanted.
Ling Ruoke smiled at her. "It's okay, I'll adjust soon. But you, with so many invoices to process at the end of the year, you must be quite busy, right?"
"I'm fine." When she was single, Mei Yanting always thought about doing well, otherwise she would have no food to eat if she lost her job. Now that she's married, she can whine that she doesn't want to go to work, and Chen Shan will say without hesitation that she can come home and let him support her. So she's been much more relaxed lately.
Ling Ruoke didn't say much to her. After exchanging a few more casual words, she left.
In the evening, Yang Ziyun called and surprisingly noticed that Ruoke was acting strangely.
"Mom, I'm fine. It's just that it's the end of the year and there's a lot going on, so I'm a little dizzy." Ling Ruoke didn't want Yang Ziyun to know that she wasn't feeling well, because she was afraid of hearing a lecture.
"Then find a few more people to come back and help. Don't overwork yourself. Mom said that family is the most important thing. Don't let work interfere with your family. Also, your health isn't good to begin with, so you need to rest properly. Don't forget, Mom is still waiting for your good news."
Again with the topic of children! Ling Ruoke felt immense pressure whenever she heard anything related to children. Huo Qingfeng was always busy and rarely home; even if she wanted to have a child, someone would have to be with her.
Yang Ziyun was so eager to have a grandson that she brought it up almost every time she called, and her calls came very frequently.
Sometimes, when Ling Ruoke looked at the caller ID, she really wanted to ignore it. But then she remembered that the caller was Qingfeng's mother, so she would take a deep breath, hide her emotions, and chat with her about everyday things. In the end, she would always hear a few words of advice from her mother about the child.
Ling Ruoke could understand Yang Ziyun's feelings perfectly, but sometimes she couldn't help feeling uncomfortable. Especially when she was tired and feeling down, the moment Yang Ziyun mentioned the child, she felt like getting angry. She felt like she had gone mad.
Perhaps due to exhaustion, Ling Ruoke noticed she had little appetite lately and occasionally felt nauseous. She took some time that afternoon to go to the hospital for a checkup.
As the car pulled into the parking lot, it encountered a man and a woman arguing. The woman was hitting the man while shouting, "It's all your fault! I told you to wear a condom, but you wouldn't! Now look what's happened, you're pregnant, what are you going to do?"
The man let her vent, saying, "We've done this before. Who knew the safe period wouldn't be safe? If you're pregnant, you're pregnant. Just give birth to it."
"You make it sound so easy. How are you going to raise them? Do you think raising a child is as easy as raising a puppy or a kitten?"
Ling Ruoke stopped listening to the woman's roar. The words "safe period" reminded her of something—her period was almost two weeks late!
Could it be...?
That thought made Ling Ruoke's heart race. She got out of the car, intending to go upstairs to register for a checkup. After walking a few steps, she turned back, drove to a pharmacy on the street, and bought a pregnancy test.
Ling Ruoke drove home, her mind filled with that thought. As soon as she entered the house, she unpacked the product and studied how to use it. She knew about this thing; some people in college had used it, but this was her first time using it herself. Fortunately, it was very easy to use, and she didn't have to struggle with it for long.
Ling Ruoke placed the items on the sink and waited for the results, almost holding her breath. After a while, she saw a clear red line—only one. Somewhat disappointed, she walked out, sat on the sofa for a while, and couldn't resist going back in to check again. This time, she saw another, very faint line.
Ling Ruoke held the pregnancy test and examined it from several different angles. The indicator light was indeed there, but the color was very faint. She couldn't tell if she was seeing things or if there really was a faint line.
She picked up the instruction manual again and read it through; it said that testing in the morning was more accurate. So she took her keys and went out, buying two more vials at the small pharmacy outside the apartment complex, planning to test them again the next morning.
After eating dinner early, Ling Ruoke climbed into bed and turned on her computer. But she stared at the document for ages, unable to write a single word. The news of her pregnancy filled her mind, preventing her from doing anything else. She longed to share her feelings with someone, but wasn't sure if she was really pregnant, so she kept quiet. She was afraid that if she told them, it would be too painful to discover it was all a false alarm.
Lying in bed at night, her mind raced, wondering what the test results would be like the next morning. She desperately wanted it to be true, yet she worried the results might be wrong. Torn between these anxieties, she tossed and turned for a long time before finally drifting off to sleep.
In my dream, there was a naked, chubby baby crawling around, making funny noises.
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