Chapter 90 If Pei Ci doesn't love him, he would rather...
Meanwhile, when Pei Ci apologized to Pei Ze, she was already prepared to be retaliated against.
She wasn't a kind person, but Pei Ze was her younger brother, so she was naturally different from others. She felt she had to repay the harm she had unintentionally caused him.
However……
"Um."
Pei Ci was taken aback when she heard the "hmm," not quite understanding what it meant. Then she heard Pei Ze say, "Let bygones be bygones."
Is this the end?
Pei Ze... just forgave her like that?
Realizing this, Pei Ci was utterly astonished. She separated from Pei Ze and carefully examined him. He was still a high school student, but almost the same height as her. His face still had some baby fat, and his eyes were round and bright, with glistening tears beneath them. In a daze, he resembled the Pei Ze she had seen before.
Pei Ze is like a dog.
Pei Ci opened her mouth; she had so much to say, so many questions to ask, but now it seemed unnecessary. So, with her eyelashes lowered, she solemnly said, "Thank you."
Thank you for forgiving me.
It must be said that Pei Ci breathed a sigh of relief after receiving Pei Ze's forgiveness.
Now, she has another tricky matter to deal with.
—Lu Ran.
Pei Ci still remembers how Lu Ran stood in front of her when Pei Ze swung his knife.
At first glance, the action seemed fine. Lu Ran liked her and didn't want to see her in danger, so he instinctively tried to protect her, only to be stabbed by Pei Ze and left in critical condition. However…
Lu Ran is the male lead.
As the male protagonist of this world, he is a person of great destiny. Everyone else in this world will instinctively obey him. Let alone stabbing him, it's impossible to even get close to him without Lu Ran's permission.
Furthermore, Lu Ran's combat skills couldn't possibly be that low. Having loved extreme sports since childhood, Lu Ran possesses a beautiful yet powerful physique. He was so close to Pei Ze at the time; subduing her would have been effortless. Did Lu Ran really need to stand in her way?
The answer is no.
There is only one reason why Lu Ran did this—
He was seeking death.
He committed suicide.
Only when he is destroying himself can others hurt him.
So why did he commit suicide? Why did he do such a thing, almost causing her mission to fail completely?
Pei Ci was furious, and the anger had been building up inside her, almost to the point of bursting out of her chest. She had to make Lu Ran pay the price and never dare to do such a thing again.
After much deliberation, Pei Ci asked Pei Ze to call Lu Ran after he woke up.
"What did you want to say?" Having opened up, Pei Ze had sheathed all his barbs and slowly returned to his carefree and cheerful self. He was always one to forget what he had learned from his mistakes; otherwise, he wouldn't have refused when Pei Chi took him back to the Pei family and would have taken the initiative to get closer to Pei Ci.
Pei Ci lowered her eyelids, not even raising her eyes, and said, "Just say I'm about to die."
Pei Ze was taken aback. "Will he believe that?"
Pei Ze genuinely believed that Pei Ci was biased towards Lu Ran. He thought this lie was neither sophisticated nor easy to expose. He also didn't understand why Pei Ci would say such a thing.
Pei Ci could tell from Pei Ze's expression that he had misunderstood. Indeed, no matter what, Pei Ze's nature remained the same: innocent, naive, and possessing the tenderness of a normal person. Otherwise, he wouldn't have chosen to forgive her, nor would he have acted without thinking when he clearly wanted to kill her.
He possesses a stubbornness and unwavering courage that adults lack.
But it's surprisingly cute.
Pei Ci's expression softened, and she patiently explained, "So you're just asking him to come over."
Pei Ci's prediction was reasonable. Sure enough, when Pei Ze hurriedly relayed the message to Lu Ran, Lu Ran was completely stunned. He then pulled out the IV tube from his hand and ran out of the ward.
He was too anxious, so anxious that he was afraid something might have really happened to his A-Ci. The thought of such an outcome filled him with endless panic. Therefore, at the slightest sign of trouble for Pei Ci, Lu Ran rushed to the Pei family as fast as he could.
Pei Ze was utterly stunned by Lu Ran's speed.
No, it hasn't been that long.
However, he also knew that it was time for him to leave, to leave the two of them with space to communicate.
After Pei Ze left, when only the two of them were in the room, Lu Ran rushed over and asked, "Where are you hurt?"
Where on your body does it hurt?
"Where does it hurt?"
He quickly offered countless words of concern and even couldn't resist reaching out to check on her.
However, Pei Ci remained silent.
Lu Ran noticed that A Ci was acting strangely, but the most important thing now was A Ci's health. Seeing that Pei Ci still didn't speak, he gritted his teeth and reached out to Pei Ci's body.
Lu Ran is always dominant at times.
Just as Lu Ran's fingers touched Pei Ci's clothes, Pei Ci spoke.
"What right do you have to tell me what to do?"
quiet.
A deathly silence.
Lu Ran pursed his lips and remained silent. But he tightened his grip a little, his palm touching Pei Ci's neck. Pei Ci felt a warm, damp sensation on her neck and took a half step back uncomfortably, continuing to retort, "Dead people have no right to care about others."
“…Yes.” Lu Ran opened his mouth. “A-Ci, I’m still alive.”
He remembered Pei Ci's cries when he was dying. Was it because Pei Ci didn't want him to die, so she was awkwardly worried about him?
His heart ached, and his voice became even more tender, "Yes, I'm alive."
"Alive?" Pei Ci seemed to have thought of a very funny joke. She laughed, but quickly the laughter subsided, leaving only a pair of eyes with a playful smile. She asked with a smile, "Didn't you want to die? You'll always find a chance to die, won't you?"
Pei Ci's words made Lu Ran freeze. Die? He wanted to die? No… He touched his ear, looking puzzled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
"Don't you know?" Pei Ci approached Lu Ran directly, and Lu Ran couldn't help but retreat until he had nowhere left to go, at which point he stopped. At this moment, Pei Ci reached out her hand, stood on tiptoe, and her cool fingers painstakingly stroked his brow, then his eyes, nose, lips, and finally her fingertips landed on the corner of Lu Ran's mouth. Pei Ci said, "Then why did you show such a joyful expression when you were stabbed?"
What are you so happy about?
"Or rather, what are you fulfilling?"
Lu Ran's expression changed. Pei Ci's persistent questioning brought him back to the chaotic moments of the past few hours. Back then, it was just the three of them: him, Pei Ci, and Pei Ze. He was walking at the very back, some distance from Pei Ci.
Lu Ran was tall and had keen senses. He sensed something was wrong almost as soon as Pei Ze hunched over. So he kept a close eye on him, and during that time, he also noticed a dagger that was faintly visible in Pei Ze's arms.
Who is he going to kill?
Me?
Lu Ran was completely baffled, but after seeing the hatred in Pei Ze's eyes as he looked at A Ci, Lu Ran understood.
Pei Ze came for A Ci.
He wanted to kill Pei Ci.
Upon realizing this, besides anger and anxiety, Lu Ran's mind went blank for a moment. Then, those nightmarish fragments swept through his mind. A voice in his head said:
That's enough.
That's enough.
Right now.
Just as he was about to jump off the building, he should also rush up to embrace death and embrace love.
So he sank into a nightmare, watching his body lunge forward to meet a sharp dagger. A sharp pain shot through his abdomen, his muscles twitched, and his blood rushed backward. And now, from A-Ci's mouth, he learned that he had actually been laughing back then.
yes.
He was smiling.
Because he was anticipating, anticipating this moment, like Sisyphus anticipating the moment the boulder reached the top of the mountain, like Prometheus anticipating the moment he stole fire—he was so eagerly awaiting it.
So eager for death.
Therefore, when Pei Ci questioned her, she had no room to defend herself.
what to do.
I've made Ah Ci angry again.
What should we say at this point?
He was blank and lost. After thinking for a long time, he managed to squeeze out a dry sentence, "I...I'm sorry."
No matter what, an apology is still necessary.
Pei Ci remained unmoved by Lu Ran's apology. Lu Ran always apologized, regardless of whether he was right or wrong. He always tolerated her and went out of his way to accommodate her. Of course, he would also try to correct his mistakes if he angered her, but he didn't care whether those corrections were right or wrong.
He has absolutely no concept of right or wrong.
He would do it if she asked.
But Pei Ci didn't want that. She wasn't raising an obedient dog; from beginning to end, she wanted a wolf that would bow its head.
She used to brush off conflicts so easily, but not anymore. She doesn't want to let things slide like that, at least not now that things are almost over.
So she said bluntly, "Lu Ran, you really want to commit suicide, don't you? But I have to tell you—"
Pei Ci's gaze was more serious than ever before, and she left no room for doubt: "Even if you die, I will not remember you."
This is true.
A long, long time ago, when she was abandoned, she had an idea. She couldn't dwell on the past; she had to look forward and see the scenery ahead.
As for the past, it can be recalled, but it can only ever be the past.
Pei Ci continued, “My world is vast, and I have many things to do. A dead person is of no value except for wasting my time reminiscing. I will only keep moving forward, to cure my illness and to experience this colorful world.”
“So,” Pei Ci lowered her eyes, “Lu Ran, you don’t need to die. You can leave if you want, or fade away if you want.”
"I won't stop you, and I won't remember you." Pei Ci's heart sank as she said this. Perhaps it was because farewells are always bittersweet. Lu Ran would leave; that was a fact. It was only a matter of time.
She should accept it.
At this point, Pei Ci herself relaxed considerably, and her expression softened. "Lu Ran, I've made myself clear. From now on..."
"No!!!" Before Pei Ci could finish speaking, she was interrupted. Then, Lu Ran grabbed her shoulder, his face filled with unprecedented anger. "Pei Ci, why do you always misunderstand my thoughts?!"
"You know perfectly well that I would give my life for you, yet you coldly utter these words that I'm going to abandon you!!"
Pei Ci's eyes widened, her anger flaring up as well. "You were the one who wanted to die, you didn't even think about me!"
"I didn't think about you?!" Lu Ran seemed to have heard the funniest joke in the world. He trembled with anger, laughing bitterly. "I didn't consider you?! Pei Ci, what more do you want from me? Do you want me to rip my heart out for you?"
"Why would I want to die? Don't I want to live? I'm alive, yet I'm deceived by you, ignored by you, summoned and dismissed at your beck and call, treated like a dog. Fine, that's my fault, I fell in love with you, it's my own fault, I can't help it. But I'm at least a human being, aren't I? Do you expect me to watch you and Ye Qingyu be so loving? Do you expect me to watch you abandon me again and again for that bastard?"
"Why? Why should he have it so easy? Why do I have to put up with it?" Lu Ran laughed. "I'm going to die, die right in front of you all, so you'll never get what you want for the rest of your lives!!!"
This was Lu Ran's most extreme and selfish thought! Everyone says love is selfless, love is about making your loved one happy. So he endured it, treating himself like a fool, listening to Pei Ci's rife-of-lies, watching Pei Ci's increasingly intimate interactions with others. He had considered the idea of Pei Ci marrying someone else, but just thinking about it shattered his heart into pieces. He sought treatment, used medication to suppress his feelings, sought solace, and engaged in a series of extreme and stimulating exercises to numb his senses.
But he eventually discovered—
If Pei Ci didn't love him, he would rather die.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
