Chapter 18 Should I feed you the abortion pills myself?
Mingying forced down her flustered expression, bent down to pick up the book, and forced a pale smile: "Young master is back. There is a word I don't recognize. Could you please teach me?"
She acted as if she didn't see the bowl of medicine he was holding.
Pei Xiaoyun pursed his thin lips, his expression unreadable, and walked towards her step by step.
Mingying's fingertips felt cold as she pinched a mark on the paper seal. She then put down the book and picked up a sachet from the embroidery basket: "Young master, you didn't like the last one, so I learned a new embroidery technique and embroidered a new one for you."
She panicked and had no other choice but to act coquettishly and try to please him, just like always.
Pei Xiaoyun ignored her incoherent words and realized that she was resisting and afraid.
He placed the bowl on the table, slowly sat down, and reached out to her: "Mian'er, come here."
Mingying stood there, stunned, and shook her head slightly.
"What are you afraid of? I'm going to tell you something."
He called her softly, with a hint of allure and an undeniable urgency.
Mingying took small, hesitant steps, each one feeling like she was stepping on knives.
Pei Xiaoyun wiped away her tears, his broad chest enveloping her. He didn't mention anything else, saying first, "I'm going to Yangzhou in a few days. How about I take you with me? We'll stay in our old courtyard again. I wonder if the flowers are still blooming there."
Mingying met his gaze, a ripple appearing in her calm eyes.
Pei Xiaoyun touched her fair face and, taking advantage of her distraction, handed her the medicine: "Drink this bowl of medicine, and everything will be over. Once you've recovered, we'll set off."
The dark medicine reflected in Mingying's eyes, and her pupils darkened, like a dry well that had lost its source.
It turns out that his trip to Yangzhou was merely a gesture of appeasement.
Slap me and then give me a sweet treat.
He always stabbed her hard before trying to appease her.
"Young master, I'm afraid I won't make it." Her tears dripped onto the rim of the bowl.
She didn't want to go to Yangzhou with him, nor did she want to become his concubine, and she was forced to swallow those so-called favors.
She just wanted to keep the child.
"What nonsense are you talking about?" Pei Xiaoyun tried to soothe her fear with a promise, "This prescription was written by Physician Hu. He works for the Imperial Hospital. It won't harm your body or affect your future."
Mingying gave a bitter smile.
Her body was already in this state, and as for the future, she would only be a servant. What use was such a promise to her?
“Young master, all my relatives are gone. This child is the only one I have left with blood.”
"Don't you still have me?"
Mingying found his words particularly grating.
Pei Xiaoyun rubbed her eyes, and gradually, the gentleness on his face disappeared: "After all this time, haven't you figured it out yet?"
She used to be completely subservient to him, so why does she seem to have lost control of him this time?
He lost his patience, grabbed her hand, and asked, "Do you want to drink it yourself, or should I feed you?"
Mingying also pulled his hand over and placed it on her lower abdomen: "It keeps moving around in my belly, can you feel it?"
Pei Xiaoyun's hand froze for a moment. He stared at her abdomen for a long time before slowly moving his hand and gaze away.
Mingying closed her eyes and sighed softly. When she opened them, a stubborn look appeared on her face: "Are you really that heartless? You and the county princess are deeply in love, but I am carrying your child. Can you really abandon this child for your betrothed wife?"
Pei Xiaoyun's forehead twitched; he saw an expression on her face that he had never seen before.
Was it because he spoiled her too much, or had she learned some arrogant things from Lin Xian that she dared to speak to him like that?
Every decision he made was correct.
This child cannot be kept; it's better for everyone.
"You know that much." His eyes were cold, reminding her once again not to forget her place.
Mingying felt as if her heart had been torn apart; even exhaling a breath felt like her chest was being fried in oil and roasted over fire.
After so many years of friendship, even an obedient cat or dog would be treated with tenderness by its owner.
But Pei Xiaoyun was like a cold stone, showing no concern for her whatsoever, let alone the child.
What good would it do to be born into this world? She would be a slave, at the mercy of others, just like her. She couldn't protect her, nor would she have a father's love.
How did this child end up being born into her womb...?
"I'll drink it, I'll drink it myself."
She picked up the bowl of medicine, her wrist trembling uncontrollably, her pale face reflected in the bowl.
The fear and anxiety of the past few days came to an end at this moment, and the knife that had been hanging over their heads fell steadily.
Living like this is unbearable; even if she dies, it's her fate.
She looked up and saw that the bowl of medicine was empty.
I've drunk too many bitter medicines; even this kind of medicine tastes bland in my mouth.
The medicine bowl crashed to the ground with a loud bang, and the deafening sound of shattering tiles couldn't break the silence of the dark night.
Mingying lay on the couch, tears streaming down her face.
Pei Xiaoyun sat there, quietly watching her.
The cramped room was filled with darkness and gloom, eerily quiet and chillingly cold.
Half an hour later, Mingying suddenly frowned and began to experience abdominal cramps.
She was panting heavily, clutching her lower abdomen, rolling and turning with difficulty, as if a pair of scissors were cutting into pieces of flesh inside her.
"Mian'er?" Pei Xiaoyun called her a few times.
Large beads of sweat dripped from Mingying's forehead, and tears soaked her pillowcase. She turned her eyes away, ignoring his shouts.
In an instant, it felt as if a pair of hands were tearing her internal organs apart. She didn't cry out loud, but only called out "Father" and "Mother" a few times intermittently. A few drops of water filled her empty eyes, and she seemed to see the shadows of her relatives.
If it weren't for that disaster, she would still have the love of her parents and brother, and perhaps she could have married into a good family and lived a peaceful life, without having to be subservient to others and suffer so much.
Why leave her alone...?
It hurts so much.
Her face turned from pale to bluish-purple, and several blue veins bulged on her extremely thin neck. Her breathing was weak, and even her voice had changed.
Pei Xiaoyun's eyes widened in surprise, and a sense of fear welled up in her heart. She hurriedly opened the door and went out, saying, "Someone, go find Physician Hu."
—
At midnight, the shadows of the trees swayed on the ground through the window screen, looking like ghosts.
Mingying closed her eyes and fell asleep. The maid wiped her face, but it was still impossible to hide the innocence on her face.
After seeing Physician Hu off, Pei Xiaoyun returned to the room and said to the row of maids standing in the corridor, "Anyone who dares to talk about what happened tonight will be beaten to death with sticks."
He entered the room and looked at Mingying's sleeping face; the hoarse cry still echoed in his ears.
The baby survived, and she will surely be overjoyed when she wakes up.
When he noticed that her complexion was not right, he immediately sent someone to fetch Physician Hu. Physician Hu said that her body was still too weak, and if the child was forcibly removed, the mother would not survive.
They then gave her a few acupuncture needles, prescribed a medicine, brewed it, and forced her to drink it. She vomited up all the medicine, and it's uncertain when she'll wake up.
After such a night of torment, she was like a crumpled piece of paper, unable to withstand any more damage.
Pei Xiaoyun felt a little relieved after hearing her long, even breaths. Although he didn't want a child, he couldn't bear to see her die.
For now, the only option is to keep what needs to be kept secret.
When Mingying woke up, it was three days later.
She suddenly sat up, panting heavily and covered in sweat.
She dreamt of a child covered in blood crying in front of her. She couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. The crying was heart-wrenching and agonizing.
Pei Xiaoyun happened to be returning from his official duties, and the first thing he did upon returning to his courtyard these past few days was to come and see her.
As soon as I entered, I saw her leaning against the couch, drenched in sweat, as if she had been frightened.
"Mian'er, you're awake?" His voice rippled slightly.
When Mingying saw him come in, she instinctively shrank back, looked up at the empty branches outside the window, and felt as if all her strength had been drained away, like a dead thing.
He killed her child with his own hands, and she no longer had any expectations of him.
That bowl of medicine didn't take her with it.
That's such a pity.
Seeing her like this, Pei Xiaoyun was certain that she was still sulking, and said to her, "From now on, you will stay in the courtyard and not leave for a moment. When you are about to give birth, I will send you to the manor in the suburbs to give birth."
The imperial decree for the investiture is about to be issued, and it must not be leaked during this period. It is safest for her to stay in the courtyard.
Mingying turned her head in astonishment, her breath catching in her throat for a few moments. Incredulously, she touched her lower abdomen: "The baby... is still there?"
She felt as if she had died once and then had a dream.
"Don't make a fuss, Mian'er. I've gone to great lengths to cover this up, so don't cause me any more trouble." Pei Xiaoyun put his arm around her, placing his hand on her shoulder, a gesture that was both comforting and a warning.
Mingying nodded blankly, and uttered several "good"s in a daze.
All she remembered was his cold face when she fainted from the pain.
But why did the child ultimately stay?
She remained expressionless as he held her, no longer thinking about anything else, nor daring to ask him any more questions.
She would do anything to keep her child; she could swallow all her tears.
Pei Xiaoyun replaced a large number of the maids in the courtyard. The two maids who came to serve in the room that night had already been dealt with by him. Mingying could only remember a few of them by name.
Another month passed, and Mingying's belly gradually became visible. Apart from wearing loose dresses to cover it up, she could clearly feel her lower abdomen bulging when she lay down at night.
She stayed indoors all day, as if the medicine had drained her of her energy, leaving her listless and dejected. When the sunlight streamed through the window, she would sit on the couch, lost in thought.
Pei Xiaoyun has been busy with something for the past month and has rarely returned to the courtyard. Normally, she would look forward to his return, but now, she seems to have no interest in it.
Ling Shuang has been frequently visiting her sick mother in the main courtyard these past few days. Only when Yu'er dragged her to Lanfang Pavilion to play did she feel like she was about to get moldy, so she agreed.
The little white dog in the kitchen ran to Lanfang Pavilion, and she and Yu'er squatted down to play with the dog happily.
Lanfang Pavilion is the highest pavilion in Lanqingzhuoyuan, from which you can see the view of the front courtyard.
Mingying was a little tired, so she stood up and saw two figures side by side in the front yard.
One of them was Pei Xiaoyun, and the other person must be a guest of the mansion.
She glanced at him a few more times, and her eyes met Pei Xiaoyun's. His gaze was neither warm nor cold; after looking at her a few times, he subtly looked away.
Mingying didn't think anything of it and silently looked away.
As darkness fell, she returned to her room and did some needlework, when she heard wailing coming from outside.
"Master, I will never dare to do it again! Please forgive me, Master!"
She recognized the voice as Yu'er's and rushed out. She saw Yu'er being punished with a cane. Yu'er was only fourteen years old and was lying on the torture bench, such a small person.
Pei Xiaoyun had just returned and was standing on the porch with a cold expression, not yet entering the house.
She ran out in a panic, bumping into his arms and taking two steps back: "Young Master, what did she do wrong? Why are you punishing her?"
Pei Xiaoyun said calmly, "Why don't you ask yourself? Didn't I tell you to stay in the courtyard? What were you doing at Lanfang Pavilion?"
He inherited the title, and today all those who came to his residence were from the Prince Yi's residence and the Crown Prince's family, who came specifically to offer their congratulations.
He pointed at the fish: "Did she instigate you to go?"
Mingying had truly experienced his ruthlessness. She grabbed his sleeve and begged him, "It was my own choice to go. It has nothing to do with her. Please punish me, young master."
The fish is too young; a few more blows and it will faint.
"Punish you? You're pregnant." Pei Xiaoyun looked at her quietly, his voice low. "How can you be treated the same as others?"
I don't know when it started, but she kept scratching his palms until they bled, like a flower eager to break through the soil.
He dislikes the feeling of being out of control.
He was her benefactor and her master, providing her with shelter and indulging her every whim. Despite his protection, she remained arrogant and ignorant.
How could she disobey him time and time again?
He turned and went inside, leaving behind the words: "Your punishment is naturally different from others, so you can just stand outside."
Mingying stared at his retreating figure, her eyes filled with a stagnant pool.
Four years of affection and four years of longing were all consumed in that bowl of abortion medicine.
He still held her tightly, pressing down on her until she could hardly breathe. At this moment, she felt utterly exhausted, as all the pain she had suffered seemed to be tearing and screaming at her.
Fortunately, she still has children.
Once he marries, forgets her, or drives her away or confines her to the backyard, she can still live a good life with her child.
The fish was carried away, thankfully still alive.
She wanted to go over and check on the fish's injuries, but then she heard his voice coming from inside the house.
"Come in."
She dared not openly disobey him, so she lifted the curtain and went in. She saw him writing something at his desk, walked over, gave a slight bow, and waited to the side.
Pei Xiaoyun picked up his brush and waited for her to grind the ink, but she didn't make a move. Displeasure showed in his eyes as he glanced at her: "You've been sick for a few days, and you can't even grind ink anymore?"
Mingying immediately picked up the ink stick, poured water into the inkstone, and with a flick of her wrist, produced jet-black ink.
She took medicine every day, and there was a faint medicinal fragrance on her body. The fragrance, mixed with a sweet scent, wafted into Pei Xiaoyun's nose as her clothes fluttered, and his chaotic thoughts dispersed a bit.
However, there was no longer the usual presence of a beautiful woman by his side.
It was only because the people around me were somewhat unwilling.
He couldn't bear to see her standing outside for too long because she was pregnant, yet she put on such a face for him because of a maid.
He grabbed her fair wrist tightly. "You're pregnant, so I can't bear to punish you. But if you dare to ignore my words again, I have plenty of ways to punish the people around you."
Upon hearing the words "reluctant to part with," Mingying's lips twitched slightly.
Her eyes revealed endless despair: "Young master, please let me go. I won't cause you any more trouble."
A cold-hearted person like him personally delivered the medicine to her, and at the last moment left her and the child behind; it couldn't possibly be out of a soft heart.
She didn't know why.
Perhaps it was because he had just been granted the title of Duke, and if there were two deaths in his own backyard, it would inevitably draw criticism from outsiders. He cared about his career, his interests, and his reputation.
If that's the case, then just send her away. She won't block his way anymore, nor will she stop him from being with his beloved.
She had barely finished speaking when her chin was pinched hard.
Pei Xiaoyun's anger was reignited by her words. Her eyes reflected the orange candlelight as she spoke clearly, "You are not allowed to go anywhere."
A note from the author:
----------------------
Please read each chapter on time. I will update daily. It's almost time for VIP chapters, so the end date is very important. Please don't let it accumulate or hoard the story! [crying emoji][crying emoji]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
