It's okay to be a taciturn person! Anyway, this personality is quite likable. At least Lin Xuanjiao thinks that Song Yingan is quite likable now.
Not wanting the atmosphere to become awkward any further, Lin Xuanjiao took the initiative to bring up the topic again: "Song Ying'an, did you find it difficult to write your own name when you were little? When I wrote my name as a child, I felt a bit resentful towards my parents because it had too many strokes."
Song Ying'an was silent for a moment, then said in a hoarse voice, "I can't write."
In other words, Song Yingan couldn't even write a single character, so naturally he wouldn't find his own name difficult to write.
Lin Xuanjiao, who had accidentally stepped on a landmine, was now extremely embarrassed. That was true! Song Yingan had lost his family since childhood and was discriminated against by these people in the village. Under such circumstances, how could Song Yingan possibly learn to read and write?
Obviously, I just wanted to find some random topics to make the atmosphere less awkward, but I didn't expect that the atmosphere would not only become more awkward but also a bit heavy.
Lin Xuanjiao felt filled with guilt towards Song Yingan's current situation. This unfortunate man had been hurt by her so many times.
Perhaps sensing the embarrassment and shyness emanating from Lin Xuanjiao, Song Ying'an soothed her gently, "I'm fine. Don't take it too personally. I know you mean well."
Being comforted by Song Ying'an like this, Lin Xuanjiao felt even more guilty towards him. What a good-tempered person he was! He was repeatedly hurt by her and yet he comforted her in return. Anyway, if it were Lin Xuanjiao, she would definitely not be as good-tempered as Song Ying'an.
Even though she knew that the person who spoke did not mean it, Lin Xuanjiao did not want to continue chatting with the person who had hurt her, let alone comfort the person who had said the wrong thing.
Lin Xuanjiao, who was treated like this, now saw that Song Ying'an was radiating a holy glow all over his body.
Wanting to make up for her mistake, Lin Xuanjiao tried to make amends: "Do you want to learn to read? I can teach you."
Want to learn to read? Of course Song Ying'an wanted to. He often wondered if his family were still alive. Would he also be able to study and go to school like them? The children in the village who were only willing to go to school after being beaten by their parents were something Song Ying'an could never hope for.
When Song Ying'an was young, he wanted to learn to read and stood by the window of the classroom to try to learn, but was driven away by the children and teachers. What they said was vicious and mean. Even though Song Ying'an was still young at that time, he could tell that what they said was not good.
Over time, Song Ying'an no longer tried to go to the village primary school to learn to read. Without methods and channels, Song Ying'an could not learn to read. After all, there was no one to teach him. No matter how smart he was, a four-year-old child could not learn to read by himself.
When Song Ying'an was kicked out of the village primary school when he was a child, he wondered if the teachers hated him because he didn't pay the tuition. So he dug out a dollar from his home and tried to get the teacher to let him go to school.
But what he got in return was the teacher's sarcastic smile and contemptuous look. Song Ying'an still remembers the teacher's words: "You little bastard of a capitalist, you really want to come to class? I'm lucky I didn't send you to the cowshed. People like you shouldn't touch something as sacred as a book. You will only defile it."
After being accused like this in person, who would put their face forward and get slapped a few times? Even though Song Yingan was still young at that time and had no ability to resist, he knew to avoid this person he disliked and think out of sight, out of mind.
But the thing that he could never achieve when he was a child has now come true. He can realize his childhood dream. Song Ying'an's first thought is not happiness but anxiety.
Even if you know in your heart that what those people say is bullshit, don't take it to heart. Hearing about Da Song Ying'an since childhood has also been a bit of a blow to him.
"Can I really learn to read?"
Lin Xuanjiao could hear the lack of confidence and doubt in his tone, and she felt even more distressed for Song Yingan. She had no idea what this unfortunate child had experienced in his childhood that had made him look so unconfident now.
Even the most basic literacy was something that was out of reach for him.
Holding back the bitterness in her heart, Lin Xuanjiao didn't want Song Ying'an to see that she was pitying him, so she tried to cheer up. "Of course! Not only can you recognize words, but I can also teach you to read! Don't underestimate me! I'm a very good student, always among the best in the class. I'm more than capable of teaching you. Don't worry about me misleading you."
Song Ying'an was afraid that Lin Xuanjiao would doubt her ability, so she quickly said, "That's not what I meant. I just wondered if it would be too much trouble for you. I grew up without knowing how to read, so it doesn't make any difference to me whether I can read or not."
No way! Song Yingan dreamed of learning to recognize characters. Every time he saw characters he didn't know, he felt an urge to learn them all.
But if learning to read is a problem that bothers Lin Xuanjiao, Song Ying'an thinks it's okay if he doesn't learn to read, after all, he has been through it for so many years.
Lin Xuanjiao looked at Song Ying'an's eagerness, feeling somewhat helpless. How afraid was Song Ying'an to bother her? Wasn't it just teaching someone to read? She was bored all day anyway, so she had plenty of time, so teaching someone to read wouldn't bother her.
"Song Ying'an, don't you think about what I do all day? Besides delivering pig grass, do I have anything else to do? Teaching you to read is a good way for me to pass the time. Otherwise, I would be too bored to stay here all day. I went to town today because I was bored and bought wool to knit a sweater, so you don't have to worry about wasting my time."
Song Ying'an swallowed back his refusal. Since it wouldn't bother Lin Xuanjiao, he might as well learn to read! This wish had been buried in Song Ying'an's heart for too long, so long that if Lin Xuanjiao hadn't suggested teaching him to read, Song Ying'an would have almost forgotten this long-cherished wish.
When this was brought up, Song Ying'an realized that it was not him who gave up learning to read, but he had buried this matter too deep in his heart. However, after Lin Xuanjiao said this, his childhood desire for reading now doubled and surged towards him, making it impossible for Song Ying'an to refuse this thing he had dreamed of.
But I couldn't let Lin Xuanjiao pay for nothing. In the village, people had to pay tuition to learn to read. Thinking of this, Song Ying'an said, "Then I should pay the tuition to you."
"What?"
Unexpectedly, Song Ying'an said this after being silent for a while.
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