Chapter 94 Awakening
For the first time, Lu Ming felt restless. To make himself appear even more drunk, he ordered another bottle of wine.
But once the wine went down my throat, I could no longer taste anything.
Time ticked by, and he mentally considered several possible phrases, unsure whether to apologize first or say something else. It felt like two little voices were arguing in his head, one relentlessly accusing him: "You shouldn't have called her. You have nothing to say to her anymore. The person you like is Wen Xue, so why did you still look for Wen Chu?"
The other one, however, is reckless and has no bottom line, only thinking: as long as she's still willing to pick you up, it means she doesn't hate you that much yet, so you should seize the opportunity to apologize to her.
The alcohol had clouded his mind, and finally the sofa next to him slumped slightly as someone sat down. He felt a jolt in his heart, too cowardly to look up immediately, afraid of being discovered that he had done it intentionally. But the next second, a woman's voice came, and his heart turned cold again.
"Lu Ming? Is it really you? Why are you drinking here alone?" Wen Xue's puzzled voice came from his left. Lu Ming looked up, his gaze sweeping over the person's face, and paused for a few seconds without speaking.
He tried to convince himself that he shouldn't be disappointed, but disappointment still overwhelmed him.
"Nothing, I've been under a lot of pressure lately, just came out to get some fresh air." Lu Ming asked in a hoarse voice, "Did you come to see me, or is there something else?"
The moment he saw Wen Xue, he instinctively imagined that Wen Chu had sent her. Perhaps she had indeed promised the waiter, but didn't want to see him, so she called Wen Xue instead.
“My friend just saw you here. I didn’t believe it. Don’t you never come to places like this? I happened to be nearby, so I came to check.” Wen Xue said vaguely. This friend was actually Qi Siyan, but the two of them had never gotten along. Even if he cared about her, he wouldn’t say it openly. Before hanging up the phone, he specifically asked her not to say that he was the one who told her. Wen Xue felt helpless, but she had no choice but to cooperate.
Wen Xue has looked rather haggard these past few days. Her father's passing has dealt her a heavy blow, and she seems somewhat dejected.
Lu Ming nodded silently.
Wen Xue was not summoned by Wen Chu.
A glimmer of hope suddenly rose in his heart, which meant that Wen Chu might still come.
Realizing that this was his first reaction, Lu Ming felt that he was being ridiculous.
He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples hard, trying to calm himself down and become normal.
"Drink less. You've been comforting me, but now you're secretly coming here to drown your sorrows." Wen Xue looked at the empty bottles on the table and asked worriedly, "Has something happened at the company lately? Is the robot project not going well?"
"Is it because of her father's situation that Xiao Chu isn't paying much attention to her work...?"
“No. She didn’t affect the work progress,” Lu Ming said, his eyes lowered.
“I didn’t expect her to get over it so quickly and even move out of the house, even though her mother is still in the hospital. She’s always been willful and does things her own way, and doesn’t like to be with her family. I never thought she would accept her father’s death so easily.”
Lu Ming wanted to say that she cared, she cared a lot, but she just didn't want others to see it.
Seeing that he seemed preoccupied and didn't respond, Wen Xue asked again, "So what exactly is the problem you've encountered? Tell me and we'll solve it together."
Lu Ming's heart was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt and shame. The immense sense of immorality almost made him breathless. He stared at Wen Xue's face, speechless for a long time.
The other person was still grieving the loss of their father. Instead of doing his best to help them through the grief, he was worried about them and whether he would lose their heart. He was even thinking about explaining his feelings to the person in front of him.
Lu Ming, what exactly are you?
Why have you become so indecisive?
His conscience was repeatedly tormented, and he began to loathe himself.
On the surface, he and Wen Xue reached a consensus, hoping to develop their relationship slowly, focusing on their respective careers first and not rushing to establish a relationship. But only he knew that if he were truly determined and willing to wait and make sacrifices no matter where she was, he would be eager to have a formal status and be tied to her.
Seeing the person's absent-minded and conflicted expression, Wen Xue suddenly smiled.
Lu Ming's eyes flickered: "What are you laughing at?"
"Let me guess, is half of the reason you're like this because of me?"
Lu Ming's eyelids twitched, and he didn't know how to answer for a moment.
"The other half, is it because of Wen Chu?"
Lu Ming's hand gripping the cup tightened suddenly, his body stiffening for a moment as a wave of shame washed over him, realizing his ugly thoughts had been exposed.
“Xiaoxue…” Lu Ming’s throat tightened, and he couldn’t speak.
"It seems so." Wen Xue leaned back on the sofa next to him, propping her head up with her hand, and looked at the various people in the bar.
Because of the background music, they had to move closer to talk. Wen Xue said, "I noticed it a long time ago."
Lu Ming pursed his lips: "What?"
Wen Xue looked at him: "You care about Xiao Chu only because I don't dare to show it. Ever since I came back, I've felt that the atmosphere between us is different, and your attitude towards Xiao Chu is also very different from before."
"Before, when she was by your side, all you saw was annoyance and helplessness. But in the past two months, I've seen other emotions in your eyes. You care about her more than before. Some of her clumsy little actions, which you used to scoff at, you're now being led by the nose. At first, I thought this was normal. I've been gone for so long, and there's been no one else by your side but her. No matter how willful or unruly she is, she's always serious about you. It's only natural that you're moved. I'm not angry."
"My selfishness and confidence made me feel like I was back, that I could win you back, so I chose to ignore those details. But you saw her more and more often, and of course, what made me realize this reality was the bracelet Xiao Chu was wearing. That one and the necklace in your drawer were clearly a set—sorry, I saw it by chance when I went to your office to look for some documents."
Lu Ming was taken aback again, and subconsciously wanted to explain, "Well, that's because I promised her before—"
Wen Xue interrupted him, saying, "I originally thought it was prepared for me, until I accidentally saw Wen Chu wearing it at Si Yan's birthday party. That's when I realized that it was designed by you for her."
“Lu Ming, how can you not see your own heart? You were willing to design jewelry for her yourself, something you've never done for me. That's enough to prove how much Wen Chu means to you. You should be more resolute and not hide your true feelings because of our past. I know you don't want to hurt me, and you don't want to admit that you've really fallen for someone you used to hate, but love can't be hidden.”
"Of course, I'm not that noble. At Siyan's birthday party, I clearly saw your concern for Xiaochu, but I still didn't bring it up. Maybe I should have withdrawn from the beginning, so you wouldn't have been so conflicted during this time. But I'm also a little unwilling. I was the one who pushed you away, but when I came back, I still selfishly hoped that you would like me as much as before. After being slapped in the face by reality, for the sake of that bit of pride, I chose to remain silent and continue to use the past to blackmail you into being nice to me and staying with me, trying to salvage this relationship."
"It's a pity that after your father passed away, the concern in your eyes for her became even more obvious. Now I know that I need to make you fully realize your own feelings."
Hearing these words, Lu Ming felt a mix of emotions. His body stiffened, and his voice trembled slightly: "You're not wrong, it's all my fault. I was indecisive, I failed to hold on to my own convictions. I really don't know why..."
He was in a state of confusion, pounding his forehead with his fist: "My brain keeps telling me that the person I like, the person I love, is you, but... but my heart doesn't seem to say that... I'm so confused, I don't know what's wrong with me. At first, I was sure I didn't have those feelings for her, but now it seems like I'm instinctively afraid of losing her..."
Wen Xue smiled bitterly. "I know you've always been a very principled and responsible person. You don't want to become like your father, so you constantly tell yourself to be faithful in relationships. That's why you refuse to admit that you really don't like me anymore and have fallen for someone else. But what's done is done, and people can't control their emotions. Let's not make things harder for ourselves."
"If you still can't see clearly, then look at me."
Upon hearing this, Lu Ming slowly raised his head, looking at the woman helplessly.
Wen Xue grasped his arm, looked at his lips, and slowly leaned forward, drawing closer and closer. Lu Ming stared blankly at the lips approaching him, his brow furrowing slightly. His mind raced, and finally, just as the woman was about to kiss him, he stepped back, his Adam's apple bobbing, and hesitated before saying, "Xiao Xue, I..."
Wen Xue smiled knowingly and distanced herself from the other person again. "You see, your body reacts most honestly. You used to really like being close to me, you would never be like this now."
She lowered her head and said softly, "I am a little sad, but I'm not angry, really, Lu Ming, you don't need to blame yourself. I chose my career first and neglected our previous relationship. Besides, the person you like is Xiao Chu, I should be happy for you two. To be fair, her feelings for you are much deeper than mine."
“So, find an opportunity to have a good talk with her. Once she really accepts Siyan, I won’t speak up for you anymore.” Wen Xue said in a relaxed tone, “After all, Siyan always calls me sister.”
"Xiaoxue, I'm sorry..." Lu Ming lowered his eyes, hesitating to speak.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. We were never together in the first place. We are both free. The fact that I can say this so frankly today means that I’ve gotten through the most unbearable period.”
Lu Ming gave a wry smile: "I don't know... whether she can still accept me..."
"She likes you so much, she'll definitely give you a chance, as long as you seize it."
After Wen Xue left, Lu Ming sat in the same spot, feeling as if the hole in his heart had been torn open. Although guilt still lingered, he finally understood his own feelings.
He took several deep breaths, his originally fair face flushed crimson with excitement, but he sat up straight again. His gaze frequently drifted towards the bar entrance, wondering when the other person would arrive.
Unfortunately, he sat there all night but did not see the other person.
He knew this was his own fault. If Wen Chu had really let go of him and wanted to accept Qi Siyan, what right did he have to fight for her?
Directly expressing one's feelings might only cause trouble for others, not only failing to convince them but also making them more resistant to him.
After realizing his own shortcomings, Lu Ming forced himself to calm down. He shouldn't speak immediately, but rather remain calm and make amends little by little for his insincerity during this period, making people feel his attitude and intentions, and then slowly win back the other person's feelings for him.
He just didn't expect that the other party wouldn't even give him such a chance.
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