The format of "The Stupid Emperor of the Great Song Dynasty" is different from other books: it's written in the style of plain, simple prose, with chapters pre-loaded and available for reading at any time. Workers, after work in the late afternoon or early evening, would spend a hundred copper coins to buy a tip—this was before the book was released, as subscriptions are now down to ten—and rely on app readers to enjoy a relaxing read. Those willing to spend more could buy a tip, create a fan list, write a review, and if they reached a million coins, they could buy a silver alliance. However, these customers were mostly short-sleeved, and few could afford such generosity. Only those in long gowns could enter the VIP section of Qidian History, asking for tips and monthly tickets, and then slowly read.
From the age of twelve, I'd been a slacker in the history section of Qidian. My editor told me I looked too silly and worried I couldn't serve the long-sleeved patrons, so I decided to just write outside. Those short-sleeved patrons, while easy to talk to, were also quite a few who were nagging and intractable. They often had to personally verify that my writing was naive, check if there were any cheat codes, and verify if it was a systematic text before they could rest assured: under such strict supervision, writing was a real struggle. So, after a few days, the editor told me I couldn't do this anymore. Fortunately, the contract was very favorable, so I couldn't be fired, so I ended up managing the book review section, a rather boring job.
From then on, I spent the entire day standing in the history section, focusing on my duties. While I wasn't negligent, it always felt monotonous and boring. The editor had a stern face, and the customers were unpleasant, making it difficult to be lively. Only when a foodie came into the shop could I laugh a bit, and I still remember it.
The Foodie is the only person who types while standing and wearing a long gown. He is tall and handsome, with a charming smile that is often mixed with a naughty smile; he looks like a handsome and unrestrained young man. Although he wears a long gown, he is handsome and good-looking, and seems mature and steady. When he talks to people, he always speaks like a big boss asking for chapter recommendations, which makes people half-understand. Because he likes to eat, people gave him a nickname from his pen name "Foodie Little Alliance", which is half-understood, and called him Foodie Giant. As soon as Foodie Giant posts a chapter, all the readers look at him and smile. Some shout, "Foodie Giant, you have added another collection to your book!" He does not answer, but says to the book review, "Post a book review and get a chapter recommendation." Then he sorted out nine book reviews. They deliberately shouted loudly again, "You must have asked the great author for a recommendation for his chapter again!" The Foodie Giant opened his eyes wide and said, "How can you slander someone's innocence like this..." "What innocence? I saw with my own eyes the day before yesterday you asked the great author Lao Hu Ju, the author of "The Great Writer", for a recommendation for his chapter, and you begged on your knees." The Foodie Giant's face turned red, and the veins on his forehead bulged. He argued, "A recommendation for a chapter can't be considered kneeling... begging... can it be considered kneeling for a writer?" Then came a series of difficult-to-understand words, such as "Foodie Gupu" and "Zhehu", which made everyone laugh: the book review was filled with a happy atmosphere.
I heard people talking about it behind his back. It turns out that Foodie Giant was almost a god, but he didn't get into school and couldn't make a living. So he became more and more desperate and almost had perfect attendance. Fortunately, he got a good deal of flattery, so he flattered the great god in the history category and got a chapter recommendation in return. Unfortunately, he had another bad temper, which was that he loved drinking and was lazy. After only a few days of coding, he stopped updating his books, paper, and inkstone. After a few times, there was no one to recommend his chapters. Foodie Giant had no choice but to occasionally beg for chapter recommendations. But in our history, his character was better than others. He never delayed the chapters. Although he sometimes did not update two chapters a day, it was temporarily recorded on the blackboard, but within a month, he would definitely pay it back and wipe the name of Foodie Giant from the blackboard.
As the Foodie Giant read the book review, his flushed face gradually receded. Someone asked him again, "Foodie Giant, are you really that close to becoming a god?" The Foodie Giant looked at the questioner with a dismissive air. They then asked, "How come you can't even get a single subscription?" The Foodie Giant immediately looked dejected and uneasy, his face graying as he muttered something. This time, it was all about the God not recommending his chapters, something he didn't understand. At this point, everyone burst into laughter: the book review was filled with a joyful atmosphere.
At these times, I could just join in the laughter, and the editor would never rebuke me. Moreover, whenever the editor saw the foodie giant, he would often ask him the same question, which made everyone laugh. The foodie giant knew he couldn't chat with them, so he would just talk to the handsome guy. Once, he said to me, "Have you ever written a book?" I nodded slightly. He said, "Yes, I have.... Let me test you. How do you write a history book?" I thought, "How dare someone like me, who's begging for chapters, test me?" I turned away, ignoring him. The foodie waited for a long time, then said earnestly, "Can't you write?... I'll teach you. Remember! You should memorize these characters. You'll need them when you're an editor." I thought to myself that I was still a long way from being an editor, and that we editors never write books ourselves. I was both amused and impatient, and replied lazily, "Who needs your teaching? It's just a cheat code for writing cool novels, isn't it?" The foodie appeared extremely happy, tapping the keyboard with two long nails and nodding, saying, "Yes, yes!... That's how history is written, you know?" I grew increasingly impatient and walked away with a pout. The foodie had just tapped the keyboard with his fingers, trying to write on the computer, but seeing my lack of enthusiasm, he sighed again, looking extremely regretful.
"Is it a lot? Not much."
A few times, lurking readers, hearing the laughter, joined in the fun and surrounded the Foodie Giant. He gave each of them a book review. After writing their reviews, the readers stayed put, their eyes glued to the book. The Foodie Giant panicked, spread his fingers to cover the reviews, bent down, and said, "Not much. I don't have much left." He stood up, took another look at the reviews, and shook his head. "Not much! Not much? Not much at all!" And so the group of readers dispersed amidst the laughter.
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