Chapter 150 Extra 7: Ying Yuhua's Story: The comments section scolded me for being love-struck.
Ying Yuhua felt very cold.
The cold wasn't the kind of temperature you'd expect in April; it was a chill that seeped into your bones, carrying a heavy, metallic smell. Ying Yuhua stared blankly at the hospital's white ceiling. Beneath the thick gauze on her left wrist, the excruciating pain from the torn flesh remained. Each heartbeat brought a dull ache, a reminder of the humiliation of her failed attempt to die.
She attempted suicide by cutting her wrists, but failed.
Her mother's eyes, swollen like walnuts from crying, her father's temples suddenly turned gray overnight, her brother Ying Songmao's face, though trying to hide his worry, couldn't conceal his exhaustion and haggardness... These images swirled in her mind, but were strangely overshadowed by another, more persistent thought: What about Chen Mu? Did he know? Would he feel sorry for her? Would he finally decide to quit drugs and come back to find her because of this?
This thought, like the most stubborn poisonous ivy, entwined her heart, tearing her apart between guilt towards her family and mad anticipation of Chen Mu. She was both ashamed beyond measure and hopelessly addicted to it.
Just as she was trying to imagine how Chen Mu's beautiful, captivating eyes would fill with sorrow and regret upon hearing the news, a line of semi-transparent words, seemingly composed of light, suddenly floated past her eyes without warning:
[Ugh, this disgusting, love-struck supporting character is here! Get out of here!]
Ying Yuhua blinked sharply, thinking it was a hallucination caused by excessive blood loss and intense emotional fluctuations.
However, then, more handwriting appeared, like restless mosquitoes on a summer night, or like inappropriate commentary on a stage, densely packed and layered, covering and penetrating everything in her vision:
[It's her again! She's acting like she's going to die for a drug-addicted scumbag! What can she do besides cry and cause trouble?!]
[Her brother, Ying Songmao, is such a great guy! A technical expert, calm and composed. He has the potential to be a leading man in a crime drama, but all that's dragged down by his lousy sister!]
[Is the author crazy? Why did they have to give Yingdui such an awful younger sister? Just kill her off already! I get annoyed just looking at her!]
[A mere tool, his only purpose is to sabotage his brother? I feel sorry for Ying!]
[I'm vomiting! Who else is in her heart besides Chen Mu? All the love and care her parents and brother gave her over twenty years is worthless!]
[Her deafness and muteness are not an excuse; selfishness and stupidity are her true nature!]
[Oh no, Ying is suspended and under investigation because of her! Her future is going to be affected! Was this girl sent by our enemy?]
Ying Yuhua closed her eyes in terror, rubbed them vigorously, and then opened them again.
The words were still there! They weren't fixed in one place, but floated in the air, surrounding the hospital bed, even penetrating her palms and the bed rails. They flickered, rolled, carrying undisguised disgust, mockery, and anger.
She couldn't hear anything, but she recognized every single word. Each sentence was like a red-hot steel needle, piercing her pupils and nailing into her mind.
They called her "love-struck," said she was a "supporting character," called her "disgusting," and said she was "a burden to her brother"...
Wait, my brother's been suspended?
Ying Yuhua's heart clenched suddenly, as if gripped tightly by an icy hand. She didn't know what these so-called "bullet comments" were, but she understood the sarcastic and sharp accusations in the text. She instinctively turned her head sharply towards the ward door—her brother, Ying Songmao, was seeing Jiang Ling and the others off. His straight back, at this moment, seemed to exude an indescribable loneliness and heaviness.
Look! She's still looking for her brother! She wants to suck his blood again!
Did Ying destroy the galaxy in his past life to end up with a sister like this?!
[Please log off already! Wouldn't it be better if Ying focused on his career and being the male lead?]
[It seemed like Captain Ying and Jiang Ling were getting along well, but this girl ruined everything! What bad luck!]
No…that’s not how it is! Ying Yuhua wanted to scream, to explain, to tell these terrible words that it wasn’t like that, that she loved her brother, and that she loved her parents too! But all she could make were hoarse, unpleasant “ah…ah…” sounds, so broken that even she herself felt despair.
She excitedly raised her hands and frantically gestured in sign language: I didn't! I didn't! I love them! I didn't mean to!
However, the viewers in the live chat couldn't understand her sign language at all, or simply didn't bother to try.
What are they gesturing about now? Who are they putting on a show for?
[She's really overthinking things. In the end, she still forgave that drug addict, right?]
[Waiting for her next blunder. Probably soon.]
An overwhelming sense of despair and chilling fear, like the deepest sea, instantly engulfed Ying Yuhua. She collapsed back, utterly exhausted, tears streaming down her face, yet even her sobs were so faint they were almost inaudible.
So, in the eyes of "others," is she like this? A burden who only causes trouble, is annoying, and is utterly useless? A sinner who almost ruined her brother's bright future? Perhaps... she even destroyed the beautiful feelings that her brother had just begun to develop?
Those scenes that she had deliberately ignored and selfishly cast aside became incredibly clear and sharp under the relentless lashing of the comments section.
—Every day, her mother would prepare different kinds of soup to nourish her blood. When she carefully blew on the soup to cool it down and fed it to her, her eyes were filled with bloodshot veins and she couldn't hide her fear.
—Dad sat silently on the edge of the bed, peeling an apple again and again. His hands, which used to hold the powder spoon steadily, were now trembling slightly with worry, and there were new burns on his fingers.
—Her brother, Ying Songmao, patiently sat by her bedside time and time again, communicating with her using sign language, which she knew best. Even when she pushed him away in frustration and anger, he would simply withdraw his hand silently, his eyes filled with worry, heartache, and unwavering devotion, never diminishing in the slightest. And then there was Officer Jiang Ling; the way her brother looked at her, with that subtle yet genuinely gentle gaze, so different from others…
And what about her? All she could think about was why Chen Mu hadn't come to see her, how painful and pitiful Chen Mu's drug withdrawal was, and even... she even absurdly wondered if she could truly understand him and be qualified to "accompany" him in quitting if she tried it herself.
She gambled her life on the vague hope of a drug addict's repentance and conscience, never imagining how this gamble would completely shatter the lives of her loved ones!
[Holy crap! She actually considered doing drugs?! She's hopeless! Utterly hopeless!]
[Aaaaaah, author, hurry up and kill her off! Don't keep her around to bring trouble to the Ying family!]
[If Professor Ying Xuanji knew how stupid and selfish her niece was, she'd be furious, wouldn't she?]
Please, please don't let Ying be dragged down by her anymore!
[Ying Songmao, run! Get out of Yan City! This girl is beyond saving!]
The comments on the screen even knew her deepest, most absurd thoughts?! Ying Yuhua trembled violently with fear; the terror of being completely seen through and having nowhere to hide almost suffocated her. She pulled the blanket over her head tightly, but the words seemed to penetrate the blanket, still flashing and cursing before her eyes.
From that day on, Ying Yuhua's world was completely turned upside down.
She still lived in silent despair, but she "saw" an unprecedented and incredibly cruel "evaluation system." No matter what she did or thought, the comments would arrive as scheduled, using the sharpest words to dissect her.
She became distracted and lost in thought because Chen Mu hadn't contacted her for several days, and the comments section was filled with insults directed at her.
[Can't live without a man? Will you die without a drug addict?]
She occasionally showed a hint of guilt when she expressed concern for her family, and the comments section immediately mocked her.
Crocodile tears! Addicted to acting?
Even if she's just staring blankly at a rose in the sunlight outside the window, the comments section can instantly interpret it as—
[Thinking back to those times you spent looking at wildflowers in the fields with that jerk, huh? Disgusting!]
She was overwhelmed by the overwhelming and endless malice, on the verge of collapse countless times. But the instinct for survival, or rather, a stubborn refusal to be so defined, kept her going. Gradually, amidst the endless insults, she was forced to painfully examine herself.
It turns out that many of the comments were actually correct.
Looking back, she realized how terribly selfish and pathetically foolish she had been. She had placed the so-called "pain" of a drug-addicted, liar man above everything else, while remaining blind to her family's unwavering and selfless devotion over two decades, taking it all for granted. She enjoyed the protective shell her family had carefully built, never considering breaking free herself. Instead, she repeatedly stabbed their already weary hearts in the most cruel way possible, hurting herself in the process. Her brother was her pride, the light in her silent world, while she might have truly become the most glaring and indelible stain on his bright future…
This painful self-reflection is like scraping the bone to remove poison, leaving one bleeding profusely and experiencing excruciating pain.
After being discharged from the hospital, she seemed like a completely different person. She refused to stay at home and be "supported" anymore, and firmly "told" her parents in sign language that she wanted to work and live on her own.
With the help of the neighborhood office, and after several twists and turns, she got a temporary job at the gardening center, where she was responsible for taking care of the flowers and trees.
The work was tough, exposed to the sun and rain, carrying heavy flowerpots and fertilizer, her hands quickly becoming rough and covered in mud. But looking at these silent yet vibrant plants, she felt an unprecedented sense of ease and peace. The comments still appeared daily, but the pure insults gradually decreased, replaced by occasional sarcastic or slightly surprised remarks.
【Huh? They actually came out to work? Has the sun risen in the west?】
Planting flowers? At least they did something worthwhile. But it'll definitely be a short-lived enthusiasm.
[Heh, she won't last three days. Just wait for her to complain about being tired and go home to continue being a pampered princess.]
Let's see how long she can keep up this act.
Ying Yuhua gritted her teeth, refusing to admit defeat. Sweat dripped into the soil, blisters formed on her fingers that turned into calluses, and backaches became a daily occurrence. But from the sprouting of a seed, the germination of a seedling, and the blooming of a flower bud, she felt a solid and powerful vitality. She discovered that she truly loved flowers, and seemed to have a talent for it; the plants she carefully tended always radiated vitality.
A few scattered, slightly hesitant comments began to appear in the live chat.
[I must say, she's quite adept at tending to flowers; she's very focused.]
[His focused look is much more pleasing to the eye; at least he's not as lifeless and pretentious as before.]
[Has your romantic illusion shattered? Have you finally seen reality?]
Hopefully, they've really changed.
A year later, with her parents' careful support and her brother's secret financial assistance, she opened a small flower shop next to her family's rice noodle shop. She named the flower shop "Jinghua Flower Shop". She was responsible for taking care of the flowers and plants and designing bouquets. Her mother would occasionally come over to help after finishing her work at the rice noodle shop, and her father made her several beautiful and sturdy flower stands out of scrap wood.
The flower shop business gradually improved, and the neighbors all liked this quiet, unassuming, but warm and sincere deaf-mute girl. She prepared a writing board and patiently communicated with customers, recommending suitable bouquets and carefully explaining flower care knowledge. Her world remained quiet, but it became colorful because of the colors of the flowers and the satisfied smiles of her customers.
Later, Zhang Jianjun, a male classmate of hers from the school for the deaf and mute, found out about her flower shop and came to visit her. Zhang Jianjun was also deaf and mute, with an ordinary appearance, an honest and simple personality, and even a bit dull. After graduation, he had been working in a welfare factory doing cardboard packaging. He gestured to her that he was very happy to see her flower shop and wanted to learn the trade and help her with some heavy work.
Zhang Jianjun didn't possess Chen Mu's dazzling beauty, nor did he utter those flowery, intoxicating sweet words. But he was down-to-earth, diligent, and had a pure heart. He would quietly move and organize the heaviest potting soil and fertilizer in the shop, remember that her parents had back and leg problems, and buy them warm protective gear and plasters. On his days off, he would make a special trip to buy her mother's favorite osmanthus cake and her father's favorite sesame cake.
As they spent more time together, two equally quiet hearts, yearning for warmth, slowly drew closer.
They got married. The wedding was simple, without any extravagance, and only the closest relatives and friends were invited, but it was very warm. The older brother, Ying Songmao, specially rushed back from Yuezhou. Looking at his sister in her wedding dress, her face beaming with a peaceful and happy smile, his eyes reddened slightly. He patted Zhang Jianjun's shoulder firmly and solemnly, gesturing, "Take good care of her."
Wow, they changed their partner?
This guy seems nice, reliable, and a good match for her.
Live your life properly and stop being so dramatic.
Team leader Ying can rest a little more assured now.
[Sigh, it's such a pity about Captain Ying and Jiang Ling...]
The comments section became calmer, even containing some faint blessings, but occasionally that deep regret would still be mentioned.
That regret, concerning her brother Ying Songmao and the bright and dashing police officer Jiang Ling, became an indelible thorn in Ying Yuhua's heart. She later pieced together the whole story from fragmented comments on the live stream and letters and gestures from her family.
Back then, because of her entanglement with Chen Mu, especially the drug case involving Chen Mu that came to light after her suicide attempt, her brother Ying Songmao was forced to suspend his duties and undergo investigation. Although he was ultimately proven innocent, the incident undoubtedly cast a shadow over his career. At that time, her brother and Officer Jiang Ling were in a delicate phase of mutual appreciation; perhaps with more time and interaction, things would have naturally progressed.
However, it was precisely because of her enormous "trouble" and "unstable factor" that everything came to an abrupt halt. The proud and extremely responsible older brother felt deeply guilty, believing that his failure to handle family matters had affected his work and might even... tarnish Jiang Ling's reputation. He made an extremely difficult decision: he voluntarily applied to transfer from the Municipal Bureau's Technical Team to join the Yuezhou City Narcotics Enforcement Team, a team with more dangerous missions and a greater need to prove loyalty and willpower.
The comments section was flooded with messages.
Why is Ying doing this? It's clearly not his fault!
[Is this to completely sever the negative influence of her younger sister? So heartbreaking!]
[That's fine, leaving Yan City, this place of heartbreak, and getting away from his foolish sister.]
[What a pity about the romance between him and Jiang Ling! It just ended like that! Damn author, give me back Ying Songmao's place as the male lead!]
[I strongly object to casting Song Mao as the male lead. He has such a ticking time bomb of a sister! The risk is too high!]
Jiang Ling deserves better; she shouldn't have this kind of dragging-down family relationship.
The day her brother left, he came to see her. He looked at her with those once focused eyes, now weathered and calm, and gestured, "Yuhua, live well. Your brother is going to fight in a new place. Don't worry about me."
She gestured through her tears, "I'm sorry, brother... I'm sorry... it's because of me..."
He shook his head, reached out and gently ruffled her hair, revealing a gentle smile like a true older brother.
At that moment, Ying Yuhua knew that her brother had forgiven her, but he had shouldered all the consequences alone and chosen a more difficult path to repay his debts and prove himself. As for him and Jiang Ling, they were separated by distance, each busy with perilous cases. The budding feelings they had developed could not withstand the distance and immense pressure of reality, and gradually settled into a tacit understanding like comrades-in-arms and a deep-seated, unspeakable regret.
All of this is because of her. Because of her ridiculous "love," because of her selfish "pain."
As for Chen Mu... the man she was once willing to give her life for, he was mentioned sporadically in the comments later.
It is said that he later successfully overcame his drug addiction—after truly losing his family and everything. His father, Chen Zhigang, was injured, and Chen Mu himself went to a small coastal town in the south, where he reportedly worked as a lifeguard at a beach resort. It seems that he wanted to use this method to gaze day after day at the waters that had swallowed his childhood friends and ultimately his own life, to make a trivial and belated repentance.
The comments section was filled with disdain.
[Ha, atonement? Can he even atone for his sins?]
[Drug use, dragging his girlfriend into drug use, indirectly causing his father's death—can becoming a lifeguard really erase all that?]
[It's just self-congratulation! The thought of him using Yuhua to find out about the police makes me sick!]
He had no genuine feelings for Yu Hua; he was just using her naivety and disability to control her! What a scumbag!
[It's a miracle that Yu Hua didn't end up with him!]
This kind of person's "reformation" is only because the cost of doing evil is too high for them to afford!
Ying Yuhua looked at these comments with a calm heart. She no longer cared whether Chen Mu was alive or dead, good or bad. His existence, along with that crazy and dark past, had faded, becoming a grim yet distant warning signpost on her life's journey.
Life flowed by like a calm stream. She took care of "Jinghua Flower House," supporting Zhang Jianjun through thick and thin, and meticulously caring for her parents whose health was gradually declining.
Her brother, Ying Songmao, had repeatedly distinguished himself on the front lines of the anti-drug war, becoming a true hero. However, his personal life remained unresolved, and every time he returned home to visit, a deep loneliness always lingered in his eyes. He would bring her some novel flower varieties from Yuezhou or professional gardening books. As they exchanged more gardening tips, their relationship became more natural and closer than before. But the enormous barrier and regret caused by her could never be completely bridged.
One day, she was intently pruning a gardenia in her shop, the setting sun casting a warm golden glow through the glass window. She glanced up and saw a television in the window of an electronics store across the street playing local news.
In the footage, a drowning victim is covered with a white sheet and carried away. The camera flashes, panning to the weeping family members and the silent, soaking wet profile of a lifeguard. The subtitles scroll clearly: "...An accidental drowning incident occurred, and a lifeguard tragically died from exhaustion during the rescue attempt... The deceased has been identified as Chen Mu..."
Ying Yuhua's hand, holding the flower shears, froze in mid-air.
Chen Mu... is dead? In this way?
She stared blankly at the fleeting news headline, her heart surprisingly calm, without even a ripple of emotion. There was no heart-wrenching pain, no profound sorrow, and even the slightest sense of bewilderment vanished quickly. The man who had caused her unbearable pain, whom she was even willing to give her life to "save," had ultimately departed this world in such a way at the place of atonement he had chosen for himself.
Perhaps, for Chen Mu, this is already a dignified ending.
She lowered her head and continued to prune the flower branches with focused attention, her movements gentle, steady, and precise, as if she had just seen a news report that had nothing to do with her.
From that moment on, the barrage of comments that had been flashing, rolling, and chattering in front of her for years completely disappeared.
They vanished completely, as if they had never existed.
Her world returned to complete and genuine silence.
Sunlight streamed warmly through the glass windows, illuminating the vibrant green leaves and pristine white buds with a shimmering glow of life. The shop was filled with the fresh, mingled fragrance of various flowers. Zhang Jianjun was patiently tying a bouquet of carnations for a regular customer at the entrance, while his parents busied themselves at the rice noodle shop next door.
Everything was so ordinary, so real, so down-to-earth.
Ying Yuhua took a deep breath and revealed a calm and relieved smile.
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