Chapter 155 Extra Chapter 12: Ying Songmao's Story: Letting Go is Also a Form of Love
The air at the Yanshi Public Security Bureau's Technical Appraisal Center is always filled with a peculiar smell—a faint scent of chemical reagents, the dusty smell of paper, and a tranquil atmosphere focused on the microscopic world.
Ying Songmao was very used to this atmosphere, even dependent on this tranquility. Here, every piece of evidence would not lie, and every subtle trace would have its own logic and answer. This was very comfortable and natural for him, who was introverted and pursued order and precision.
He first noticed Jiang Ling in this kind of atmosphere.
She had just been assigned to the Jinwu Road Police Station not long before, and for the Qian Dazhuang case, she went to the Municipal Bureau for help with a small bag of collected evidence. She stood in the dimly lit corridor, her posture upright, her eyes clear, carrying a kind of youthful vigor, yet strangely mixed with a calmness beyond her years.
At that time, Ying Songmao was already the deputy captain of the technical brigade and a well-known forensic expert within the system. Many comrades at the grassroots level brought in physical evidence with varying degrees of urgency and expectation, but she did not. She simply stated her findings and doubts clearly and logically, with a rigor that belied her novice status.
Ying Songmao took on the case. Not just out of duty, but also out of a subtle curiosity. He was used to searching for the truth under a microscope, and the young policewoman was like a mysterious specimen worthy of close observation.
Jiang Ling is quick-witted and perceptive, showing great respect for his professional judgment and rapidly grasping the underlying principles. Even more remarkable is her astonishing intuition; she often formulates hypotheses from unconventional angles, guiding his technical investigations. Her contribution to the successful resolution of the Qian Dazhuang case was indispensable.
Ying Songmao found himself enjoying communicating with her. Unlike some people who either harbored unrealistic fantasies about his field or avoided its tedious and complicated aspects, she respected technology and understood it as a tool for reconnaissance. A tacit understanding gradually developed between them—a camaraderie based on reason and wisdom, and mutual appreciation.
He noticed the scar on her forehead and learned that she was an orphan who grew up in an orphanage. Looking at her profile, which appeared exceptionally pale under the cold white lights of the laboratory, an indescribable heartache quietly welled up within him. It wasn't pity, but rather… a wish that she could be treated more gently by the world.
He proactively suggested they collaborate on a paper about the application of the "Three-Fixed Investigation Method" in grassroots practice. Having participated in her investigations and greatly admiring her logic and thought process, he used his connections and resources to help her revise, polish, and recommend the paper, which was ultimately published in a core journal. Seeing the rare, bright light that shone in her usually calm almond-shaped eyes upon hearing the news, Ying Songmao felt even happier than when he himself published his first paper.
Mixed with that joy were some deeper emotions that he himself had never explored. He began to look forward to her calls, kept track of what cases the Jinwu Road Police Station had solved, and would "coincidentally" appear when she came to the Municipal Bureau to chat for a few minutes and offer as much help as possible.
He believed that some seeds might slowly sprout and quietly grow under the nourishment of shared ideals and tacit understanding.
However, all the "maybes" came to an abrupt end when the news of her younger sister Ying Yuhua's suicide by wrist-cutting arrived.
Chaos, anxiety, self-blame, exhaustion… During that time, his life felt like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. He shuttled between the hospital and his workplace, feeling unprecedentedly powerless in the face of his parents' suddenly aged faces and his sister's blank, desperate eyes. He tried to understand Yuhua's world, only to find that he had never truly entered it. His pride in his composure crumbled before the whirlpool of emotions.
Then, it was Chen Mu, drugs, and the terrifying speculation that his sister might be involved in drugs that Jiang Ling ruthlessly exposed.
When Director Zhong spoke with him, tactfully suggesting that he temporarily put aside his work and take a leave of absence to avoid suspicion, Ying Songmao felt the weight of the entire world pressing down on his shoulders. He didn't argue, he didn't complain; he just felt a cold, bone-chilling cold, not only because of the potential impact on his future, but also because of a deep sense of betrayal—betrayal of the police uniform he wore, betrayal of that perhaps budding affection.
He saw the worry and pity in Jiang Ling's eyes, a look that stung him. He didn't need pity, especially not hers. He was more afraid of seeing even the slightest disappointment or distance in her eyes.
Yuan Yi patted his shoulder heavily, cursing and complaining on his behalf.
Jiang Ling looked at him quietly and said, "Don't worry, nothing will happen."
He knew she was comforting him, and he trusted her judgment.
But he couldn't get over his own conscience.
On a sleepless night, he made a decision and submitted an application report to the Party Committee of the Bureau, requesting to be transferred to the newly established Yuezhou Public Security Bureau's Narcotics Control Brigade, which has arduous and dangerous tasks.
The moment he handed over the report, he felt a kind of almost self-destructive calm.
He wasn't running away; instead, he chose a more difficult path to prove himself, to atone for his sins, and to sever all unnecessary ties and potential troubles for others.
Yan Shi has a technical job he loves and excels at, and an emotional anchor where he has just begun to see a glimmer of hope. But there are also risks he cannot escape because of his family. He cannot allow himself to become a "trouble" for Jiang Ling's future, nor can he allow his sister's situation to become an excuse for others to question or even attack Jiang Ling.
He had to leave, he had to cut ties completely.
The transfer order came down quickly. Before leaving Yan City, he went to the Municipal Public Security Bureau, hoping to see her one last time.
The lights at the stairwell were dim, making Ying Songmao's figure stand out prominently. He looked at Jiang Ling, who was surrounded by Lin Weidong, Director Zhong, and several others. His gaze lingered on her face for a moment before quickly looking down, as if afraid of disturbing something.
This was the first time Ying Songmao had met Jiang Ling's father, Lin Weidong. He figured this high-ranking elder would surely be a pillar of support for Jiang Ling. But for some reason, facing Lin Weidong's piercing gaze, Ying Songmao felt uneasy.
Lin Weidong didn't ask Ying Songmao directly. Instead, he glanced at Ying Songmao's epaulets and slightly uneasy expression, then turned to Jiang Ling and asked, "Who is he?"
Jiang Ling glanced at her father and said in a flat tone, "Colleague." After a pause, she added softly, "Friend."
As those two words fell softly, Ying Songmao's heart felt as if it had been struck by something. He took a deep breath, stepped forward, and saluted Lin Weidong: "Officer Lin, hello."
Lin Weidong waved his hand without saying a word, but his eyes were still scrutinizing him.
Ying Songmao turned to Jiang Ling, his voice low and deep: "I... I'm leaving."
Jiang Ling was stunned: "Where to?"
“Yuezhou.” Ying Songmao’s voice was steady, but it contained a hint of barely perceptible bitterness. “Zhang Yuanqiang’s supplier is over there. The Yuezhou Public Security Bureau just established a narcotics squad and is lacking technical support, so I signed up.”
Jiang Ling's eyes darkened: "Why?"
Jiang Ling's gaze was like a deep pool, utterly unfathomable, capable of absorbing even the brightest sunlight. Ying Songmao felt a sudden, inexplicable unease. How could he explain his decision?
Because his sister was involved with drug dealers, Ying Songmao felt "tainted." Only by uprooting this troublesome drug trafficking group could he feel that the "filth" on his body had been cleansed.
Besides, if I don't go to hell, who will?
The Yuezhou Anti-Drug Squad had just been established, and many criminal police officers were unfamiliar with the characteristics, chemical properties, and addiction mechanisms of drugs before being deployed to the front lines of drug enforcement. Ying Songmao, who understands pharmacology and can identify drug types, joined the Anti-Drug Squad, which will help Yuezhou police quickly crack the drug trafficking network behind the April 26 drug case and save more people harmed by drugs.
Therefore, Ying Songmao signed up.
He knew he would be selected by the Yuezhou police. He also knew he would miss his colleagues at the Yanshi Public Security Bureau. He... he really, really missed leaving Jiang Ling.
From the first time Ying Songmao met Jiang Ling, he secretly took a liking to this policewoman who pinned her bangs back with a pearl hairpin and openly showed the scar on her forehead.
He was willing to help Jiang Ling; he wanted to see the bright, sun-like light in her eyes when she solved cases. He wanted to know about Jiang Ling's past and her preferences. He cautiously approached Jiang Ling, hoping to become her friend.
But now, he has to leave.
He didn't reveal his true feelings because now wasn't the time. Ying Songmao didn't want to put pressure on Jiang Ling, nor did he want her to worry.
Thinking of this, Ying Songmao suppressed his sorrow and smiled, saying, "There are things I should do, and things I shouldn't do."
Jiang Ling met his slightly curved eyes and nodded gently: "Okay, go ahead."
Ying Songmao didn't know what Jiang Ling was thinking, but when he met her eyes, his heart warmed. He knew that Jiang Ling would understand him and respect his choice.
Ying Songmao stood with his feet together, heels touching, and raised his right hand in a salute. Countless words welled up in his mouth, but he swallowed them all.
Jiang Ling returned the greeting: "Ying Songmao, take care!"
Ying Songmao turned and left.
Ying Songmao was unaware that Jiang Ling had been watching him leave the whole time, and even after his figure disappeared into the stairwell, she still didn't look away.
Even knowing this, Ying Songmao would not turn back. He knew that some things, the moment he decided to leave, were already left behind forever.
The working environment in Yuezhou is completely different from that in Yanshi. Located near a major drug trafficking route, Yuezhou experiences a higher density of cases, a more complex situation, and greater danger. As the technical head and deputy captain of the anti-drug squad, Ying Songmao faces unprecedented pressure. He is no longer confined to the laboratory; he must lead teams to crime scenes, participate in arrests, and handle various emergencies.
He poured all his time and energy into the new challenge. Leveraging his solid forensic expertise, he quickly made inroads into the detection and tracing of new types of drugs. He led his team to develop several rapid methods for detecting new synthetic drugs, significantly improving case-handling efficiency; these achievements were even promoted throughout the province. He became more silent, yet also more incisive. Facing ruthless drug traffickers, he was no longer just a calm expert in the laboratory, but a sharp-eyed, resolute anti-drug warrior.
During breaks from work, he would occasionally hear news about Yan City, about the Jinwu Road Police Station, and about Jiang Ling. He heard that she was becoming increasingly skilled at solving cases, that the "Criminal Psychological Profiling" team was gaining fame, and that she was as outstanding as ever, shining with her own unique brilliance.
He would take out that journal late at night, in which there was a paper with the author's name below the title.
— Ying Songmao, Jiang Ling, Li Zhenliang, Liu Haoran, Zhou Wei.
Although there are five names, the name Ying Songmao is always next to Jiang Ling's.
Looking at the two names side by side, Ying Songmao felt a quiet melancholy. He was proud of her, a pride that was pure and innocent, untainted by any selfish motives. He watched her growth as if he were watching the trajectory of a brilliant star that had once brushed past him.
Years passed. He heard that Jiang Ling had decided to apply for graduate school, aiming for the China People's Public Security University, specializing in criminal psychology.
Without much hesitation, he wrote a long letter to his aunt, Professor Ying Xuanji, in Kyoto. In the letter, he made no mention of his unspoken, long-faded feelings for Jiang Ling. Instead, he described in an extremely objective, professional, and even enthusiastic tone Jiang Ling's outstanding performance at the grassroots level, her unique talent and practical achievements in criminal profiling, the value of her proposed "three-fixed investigation method," and her profound understanding and passion for crime prevention. He called her "one of the most talented and innovative young people in criminal investigation I have encountered in my police career," and earnestly requested that his aunt seriously consider her application and provide guidance.
He knew that his aunt was dedicated to crime prevention research and needed someone like Jiang Ling who had both practical experience and theoretical innovation potential.
He believes that Jiang Ling deserves the best platform and mentor.
This was the only thing he could do for her, in the purest way, to support her as she ventured into a wider world.
Later, Jiang Ling was admitted to the Public University with excellent grades and studied under Professor Ying Xuanji.
Auntie greatly admires Jiang Ling, but she doesn't think highly of the two of them.
She felt that it would be difficult for two career-driven people to build a happy family. Her aunt even used almost cruel words to shatter the dream he had kept hidden deep inside, a dream he had never dared to voice.
“I know you love her and admire her, which is normal. Jiang Ling is worthy of love. You are my nephew, and Jiang Ling is my disciple. You are both outstanding talents in the public security system. If you love each other, I would certainly be happy to see it happen. However, after observing for a year, I have to regretfully tell you that Jiang Ling does not have feelings for you. You are introverted, and Jiang Ling is quiet. It is difficult for the two of you to spark a flame of love.”
"Jiang Ling is still young. She deserves a beautiful and heartwarming love. Love is an irrepressible desire, and your love is just causing her trouble. I know Jiang Ling well. She may seem cold on the outside, but she is warm on the inside. She didn't reject you harshly because it wasn't out of love, but because she genuinely considers you a friend and doesn't want to upset you."
love?
What is love? It's the desire to get closer, to understand, and to be together, right?
Ying Songmao knew that he was deeply in love with Jiang Ling.
But is Jiang Ling the same as him?
It seemed that there was no longing in her eyes when she looked at him.
Is his approach really causing Jiang Ling trouble?
Ying Songmao thought about it for a long time and finally decided to let go. However, before letting go, he wanted to meet with Jiang Ling.
It was midsummer on the campus of the Public Security University, where the plane trees were in full bloom and cicadas were chirping noisily. The air conditioning in the café was strong, and the music was soft and gentle. Ying Songmao stared at Jiang Ling sitting opposite him, momentarily lost in thought.
She wore a plain-colored dress, her bangs pinned back with a hair clip, revealing her smooth forehead and the faint scar. Quiet, bright, like a painting one dared not disturb.
“Jiang Ling,” he said, his voice a little hoarse, “I can see that the ideal of crime prevention has taken root in your heart… just like how I can’t let go of drug enforcement.”
Jiang Ling gripped her coffee cup tightly, remaining silent.
Ying Songmao gave a bitter smile. He recalled his aunt Ying Xuanji's words—"You and she are like two speeding trains; if you force your way onto the same track, you'll only crash and shatter."
He finally mustered his courage and looked her straight in the eye: "My aunt said we're too alike. We're both too attached to our own paths, unwilling to let go of the scenery along the way, and even less likely to change direction for each other."
He paused for a moment, then his voice softened: "I think she's right. We... are better suited to be friends."
Jiang Ling paused slightly, her clenched fist quietly relaxing. She looked up at Ying Songmao and suddenly realized clearly: he truly understood her world and had accepted his fate.
She smiled, a clear and open smile: "Captain Ying, thank you. And thank you, Professor Ying."
"Since we're friends, why do you still call me Captain Ying?" Ying Songmao smiled, his tone becoming more relaxed.
“Songmao.” She readily agreed.
He had waited three years for this call. Now, hearing it again, though there was a pang of sadness in his heart, he felt mostly relieved.
“You will definitely achieve great things in the future,” he said sincerely. “If you need anything, feel free to contact me. We are friends.”
“Okay,” Jiang Ling nodded, “You too. If you need anything, be sure to contact me.”
She hesitated for a moment, but still advised, "Drug enforcement needs your skills, but don't rush to the front lines. Your value lies in the laboratory, not under the gun."
Ying Songmao felt a warmth in his heart and nodded, saying, "Don't worry, I just got a patent for a new type of drug detection. The provincial department transferred me to the technology center, where I will be doing more research and development and providing support."
Jiang Ling extended her hand, her eyes bright: "Then let's be the best comrades-in-arms and friends forever, even in different positions."
Ying Songmao reached out and shook her hand tightly. On the table was a red rosebud, just like their relationship—unfulfilled yet destined not to fade.
From then on, their contact became less frequent and more purely personal. Occasionally, a brief greeting on a holiday, or a discussion about a professional issue. He still kept tabs on her achievements, hearing that after graduating with her master's degree, she returned to Yan City and proposed the idea of creating a crime data center, and hearing about the breakthroughs she and her team had made…
Later, he learned that she had married Liang Jiushan. The boy she had personally saved had now grown into a sunny, cheerful, sincere, and passionate young man. Although Liang Jiushan was five years younger than Jiang Ling, he proved with his actions that he was worthy of her.
Liang Jiushan's company was thriving, but in order to stay by Jiang Ling's side forever, he resolutely resigned and joined the data center, becoming a technical criminal police officer. He loved and supported her with all his passion and energy.
Upon hearing the news, Ying Songmao was in the lab analyzing the components of a new type of drug. His hands paused for a moment, then continued, precise and accurate. What welled up within him was not a sharp pain, but a deep, almost peaceful feeling.
He recalled Jiang Ling's past growing up in the orphanage, and her once subtle longing for warmth and belonging. Liang Jiushan might not be as composed and mature as him, but he could give her that unburdened, passionate, and vibrant love and companionship, which was perhaps exactly what she needed deep down.
Thinking back to the first time she met Liang Jiushan, he was a lively and clever young boy. Who would have thought... Fate is truly wondrous. After all the twists and turns, he actually became the man standing beside Jiang Ling, spending his life with her.
Ying Songmao picked up his phone, hesitated for a long time, and finally sent a very brief congratulatory message: "Jiang Ling, congratulations. I wish you happiness and a fulfilling life together."
He quickly received a reply from Jiang Ling: "Thank you. I also wish you find your own happiness soon."
He smiled but didn't reply. Putting down his phone, he returned to his work. The laboratory lights were cold and constant, illuminating his focused profile.
He knew that some scenery was destined to be admired and blessed from afar. Some people's appearances were like shooting stars streaking across the night sky, brilliantly illuminating a part of a journey before each heading off to different universes.
He is passionate about his criminal investigation career, whether it was pursuing the truth under a microscope in the past or now confronting crime head-on on the front lines of drug enforcement. He respects and admires every woman like Jiang Ling who shines with wisdom and courage in her respective field.
He fulfilled his responsibility as an elder brother to Yu Hua, guiding her out of the mire, and now he only needs to look at her ordinary happiness from afar.
He had shown Jiang Ling the most sincere appreciation and help; now all he needed to do was protect the stability and happiness she had chosen.
For himself, he chose to fill most of his life with professional loyalty and dedication. This may not be the most perfect ending in the eyes of the world, but for Ying Songmao, it is a peace and fulfillment that he can be at peace with.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com