Chapter 32 PUA: The Four-Step Emotional Exploitation Method
Jiang Ling was also speechless.
"I'll save the money for you and give it to you when you get married." Zhao Hongxia's so-called "saving money" excuse was a complete scam.
Chen Anping started working as a kitchen helper in a restaurant before graduating from junior high school. Now, at the age of 27, he has become a head chef on his own, but after nearly ten years of hard work, he has not received a single penny in compensation.
However, Chen Anping firmly believed that Zhao Hongxia had helped him save money, and was even grateful to her.
Jiang Ling held the glass of water in both hands and looked up to carefully examine Chen Anping.
Chen Anping is 167 cm tall and weighs at most 55 kg. He is thin, but his arms are very strong because he often does manual labor.
Throughout the conversation, Chen Anping kept his hands neatly flat on his knees, only twisting his fingers together when he was anxious.
Suddenly, Jiang Ling's eyes sharpened.
Chen Anping's left little finger was bent at an incorrect angle and could not be extended freely, suggesting an old injury.
Jiang Ling pointed to Chen Anping's left hand: "What's wrong with your little finger?"
As if electrocuted, Chen Anping pulled his left hand back into his sleeve, the faded cuff wrinkled from being gripped: "No, nothing."
Jiang Ling gave him no room to back down: "The old fracture has not healed. This should be due to malunion of the finger bone caused by external force."
After saying this, Jiang Ling placed the water glass she had been holding on the table.
The thick glass base made a soft "tap!" sound as it hit the cold cement countertop.
Chen Anping, however, shivered suddenly, like a startled rabbit.
Jiang Ling asked, "Who did it?"
Chen Anping didn't speak, but his exposed right hand began to tremble, and he unconsciously reached out to grab the fingers of his left hand.
Jiang Ling suddenly moved closer to him.
Chen Anping's breath hitched, and he instinctively leaned back, clearly unwilling to have physical contact with a stranger.
Jiang Ling lifted her left bangs and pointed to the Y-shaped scar on her forehead: "See this scar? This is from when I was a child, I was hit by a pair of fire tongs by human traffickers."
Chen Anping was forced to look up and quietly stare at the scar on Jiang Ling's forehead. His lips trembled involuntarily, but he didn't utter a single word.
Memories are like torn old gauze, carrying a bloody smell.
That winter when he was 10 years old, Chen Anping had just come to Zhao Hongxia's side. While helping in the kitchen, he accidentally knocked over the salt shaker, scattering snow-white salt grains on the ground like snow that had just fallen in winter.
"You can't even do this little thing right, what use are you?" Zhao Hongxia grabbed the rolling pin in her hand and swung it hard at him. Chen Anping reached out to block it, and his left little finger was hit by the rolling pin. The pain was excruciating, and even now, Chen Anping still shudders at the memory.
Chen Anping dared not cry. He had just been abandoned by his adoptive parents, and only Zhao Hongxia was willing to take him in. If he cried or made a scene, Zhao Hongxia might sell him to human traffickers.
He didn't want to live a nomadic life anymore, so he had no choice but to endure it.
My left little finger healed gradually, but because the fracture wasn't treated in time, it still can't extend freely.
Chen Anping remained silent, his left little finger slightly curled up, unable to fully straighten, as if the joint was bound by an invisible thread.
Jiang Ling could tell that Chen Anping did not trust her.
His self-esteem had been crushed for so long that he had long forgotten that he was also an independent person with dignity. He dared not easily expose his flaws, not even an old wound, and was unwilling to confide in outsiders.
If you want to help him truly stand on his own two feet, the first step must be to establish a relationship of trust.
The quickest way to build a closer relationship is to "exchange one secret for another," a psychological term known as "resonant self-disclosure." This means a deep disclosure that evokes emotional resonance in the other person by exposing one's personal vulnerabilities.
Originally, Jiang Ling was unwilling to recall the past, but now that she has met someone who hides their soul inside a heavy shell, she chooses to honestly show her most vulnerable side.
In her past life, she, like Chen Anping, buried her pain deep in her heart. But today, she wants to speak out about this painful memory to save herself and Chen Anping.
"Did you know? There's an unwritten rule in the orphanage: you can't hold the children. No matter how hard they cry, you can't hold them to comfort them." Jiang Ling's voice was low, and if you listened carefully, you could hear a slight tremor.
Li Zhenliang and the other two stared wide-eyed at the same time: "How can there be such a rule? When a child cries, doesn't it mean they want to be held and comforted? Then comfort them, why not hold them?"
Jiang Ling shook her head: "You haven't been to the orphanage, so you don't know what it's like there. There are more than eighty children, but only five caregivers. They simply can't keep up with all the children at the same time. Crying is contagious, and hugging is addictive. Babies don't understand, so the more you hold and comfort them, the more they crave being held and comforted."
At this point, Jiang Ling's throat tightened, and after a moment's pause, she continued, "So we learned from a young age not to cry or make a fuss, and to be obedient."
Jiang Ling glanced at Chen Anping: "Most children who grow up in orphanages don't like physical contact with others. Skin contact in infancy is a projection of intimacy. Once this desire is suppressed, they will unconsciously develop a psychological resistance to intimacy in adulthood."
The police station suddenly fell silent. Li Zhenliang, Liu Haoran, and Zhou Wei involuntarily gasped.
Li Zhenliang's pen slammed onto the notebook with a "thud," his eyes filled with heartache.
Zhou Wei held his breath, his hands clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white, wishing he could go back to the past and give that little Jiang Ling, who lacked love, a good hug.
Liu Haoran suddenly stood up, accidentally knocking over a chair. This sunny, lively, and usually cheerful young policeman slammed his fist heavily on the cement countertop to express his anger and helplessness.
In the eyes of Li Zhenliang and the other two, Jiang Ling was strong, intelligent, calm, and incredibly powerful.
However, upon hearing her words and seeing the scar on her forehead today, they all felt a pang of sadness, their eyes welled up with tears, and they felt an indescribable unease.
No wonder Jiang Ling is reluctant to have physical contact with people, no wonder she always likes to sit in a corner when she eats, no wonder she was so angry when she saw the human traffickers...
She really suffered a lot.
After a long silence, Li Zhenliang spoke, his voice hoarse from holding back his emotions: "Well, I'll bring my daughter over tomorrow. That girl pounces on everyone she sees; you'll have enough to hold her for three days and three nights."
Liu Haoran forced a smile: "Xiao Jiang, don't be afraid, we all support you! Just tell me what you need to do in the future, and I'll do it for you."
Zhou Wei got up, grabbed a thermos, and added some hot water to Jiang Ling's glass. He couldn't express his warmth with words, so he showed it through his actions.
In fact, Jiang Ling, who has been reborn, has already completed her self-healing.
The reason I'm saying this today is to establish a good relationship of trust with Chen Anping, which will facilitate future communication.
However, Jiang Ling did not expect that her words would elicit such a strong reaction from her three colleagues, who tried their best to express their care and encouragement for her through words and actions.
This warmth transcends the mere presence of colleagues.
—They are partners.
Jiang Ling's experience clearly triggered Chen Anping's sense of identification. He kept looking at Jiang Ling intently, listening carefully to every word she said.
When Chen Anping heard Jiang Ling say that the children in the orphanage wouldn't let him hold them when he was a child, his right hand stopped trembling, and his feelings of guilt and inferiority inexplicably dissipated.
—It turns out that his dislike of physical contact with people wasn't his fault, but rather a result of not being held as a child.
—It turns out that his reluctance to talk wasn't his fault, but rather a result of no one comforting him when he was a child.
Tears welled up in Chen Anping's eyes as he stared intently at Jiang Ling: "You, you also grew up in the Yan City Welfare Home? What year did you enter the welfare home? Have we met before?"
Jiang Ling shook her head: "I entered the welfare home in 1973. You should have been adopted by then. However, we were both taken care of by Zhao Hongxia."
Because he had a similar experience to Jiang Ling, Chen Anping was noticeably more lively than at the beginning: "Really? Aunt Zhao took care of you?"
Jiang Ling's eyes were cold: "It's less about care and more about abuse. Zhao Hongxia didn't resign and leave the orphanage; she was fired after being discovered to have abused children for a long time."
Chen Anping's voice trembled slightly: "Really?"
Jiang Ling: "Whether it's true or not, don't you know best? How did your left little finger get damaged?"
Chen Anping's left little finger trembled, and his lips began to quiver.
From Chen Anping's eyes and reaction, Jiang Ling knew that he had been moved.
“You’re not the only one who’s suffered.” Jiang Ling’s voice was as soft as a sigh. “I’ve suffered a lot, just like you, growing up on my own. It’s not your fault that you got hurt; the fault lies with the person who hurt us.”
The grievances in my heart turned into tears and burst forth.
Chen Anping suddenly raised his hands to cover his eyes, tears streaming through his fingers. He let out suppressed sobs, each sob a sharp, choked sound that made one's heart ache.
Chen Anping finally let down his guard and told Jiang Ling about his life over the past twenty years in detail.
“My adoptive parents treated me badly. They didn’t hit me, but they weren’t affectionate either. They always looked at me coldly, as if I were a thief. Especially after I gave birth to their biological son, they complained that I ate too much and grew too fast. I felt like an unwanted thing in their home. Their disdainful looks made me afraid to make a sound. I didn’t dare to say anything if I was hungry or sick.”
"Later they gave me to Aunt Zhao. Aunt Zhao always said that if it weren't for her, I would have been sold to human traffickers, and told me to be grateful. At first, I was really grateful to her. Aunt Zhao cooked delicious food for me, made me new clothes, and she and Uncle He told me to take good care of Meina, and I did all of that."
“But their attitude changed after Mina recovered from her illness. If I hadn’t already become an independent cook by then, they probably would have kicked me out. I was afraid they would abandon me, so I worked hard at the restaurant, trying to earn their attention through my labor. But no matter what I did, they would always criticize and scold me.”
“Sometimes I want to leave, but whenever I do, Aunt Zhao makes me my favorite sweet and sour pork ribs and scrambled eggs with tomatoes. She tells me that someone like me, with low education, poor looks, and a bad personality, is destined to be bullied wherever I go. Only her family is willing to take me in. She tells me to be grateful, work hard at the restaurant, and that she will definitely help me get married and have my own home in the future.”
"Hearing her say that gave me new hope."
“Later, Mina found a job, and her attitude towards me got worse and worse. But last December, I got drunk and woke up in the morning to find that I had slept with Mina. A month later, she said she was pregnant with my child and asked me to take responsibility.”
At this point, Chen Anping looked up at Jiang Ling: "To say that Aunt Zhao treated me badly, she took me in; to say that Meina treated me badly, she got pregnant with my child. Sometimes I'm really confused, I don't know if they're good to me or not. Maybe it's really because I'm useless that they treated me that way."
Chen Anping's eyes shone with hope: "Now that Meina is pregnant with my child, I have to take responsibility for her. Although I live a miserable life, this child is my hope, my expectation. I must raise him well, hug him and comfort him whenever I can, and give him everything I lacked in the past, so that he can have the love of his parents and a warm home. Only in this way can my life be complete."
As a fellow orphan, Jiang Ling naturally understood Chen Anping's feelings.
Unfortunately, the more intense his joy was when he learned he had a child, the more pain he would experience when he discovered his daughter wasn't his biological child.
After giving his statement, Chen Anping went home.
Case Team Office.
Li Zhenliang looked at Jiang Ling: "Xiao Jiang, what exactly do you want to do? Although Chen Anping is pitiful, he is already an adult, and there's no way to pursue the abuse Zhao Hongxia caused him. Besides, He Meina is now pregnant with his child..."
Liu Haoran also said, "Yes, Chen Anping is a pitiful person, but there are many pitiful people in this world, and we can't possibly help everyone."
Zhou Wei added, "Even if we wanted to help, Chen Anping probably wouldn't be willing. Didn't you see how protective he was of Zhao Hongxia and He Meina?"
Jiang Ling didn't speak. She held her round glass cup, watching the tea leaves dance up and down in the hot water, slowly calming her emotions.
After a long pause, Jiang Ling blurted out, "What if I said Chen Anping has a tendency towards violent crimes?"
Li Zhenliang never expected Jiang Ling to say such a thing: "Impossible, right? I thought Chen Anping was quite honest, he didn't resist at all even when he was bullied like that."
Liu Haoran also shook his head: "I thought your analysis that Qian Darong had violent and sexual tendencies made sense. But I really don't believe that Chen Anping would have violent criminal tendencies."
Zhou Wei was relatively calmer. He quickly took out his notebook and looked at Jiang Ling seriously: "Tell me, are you going to use your criminal profiling theory to do the analysis again?"
Zhou Wei's reminder immediately excited Liu Haoran, who pushed Xiao Heiban to the center of the office: "Come on, Xiao Jiang, are you going to give us a lesson? I promise to listen carefully."
Li Zhenliang looked at Jiang Ling, then at Liu Haoran and Zhou Wei: "Hey, why are you guys so eager? Xiao Jiang and I just finished the awards ceremony, and then Chen Anping and He Meina gave us a hard time. How can we have the energy to teach you guys?"
Jiang Ling waved her hand: "It's okay. I feel really upset right now, so why don't we talk to everyone?"
Jiang Ling stood up, picked up a piece of white chalk, and wrote the words "psychological assessment" on the blackboard.
“Let’s start by analyzing Chen Anping’s growth process to understand how his personality was formed.”
“He grew up in an orphanage until he was three years old. Like me, he must have experienced long-term physical and psychological abuse from Zhao Hongxia. After being adopted by Chen Changde and Wu Ping, he experienced emotional abuse, which led to his traumatic attachment disorder.”
Everyone understood what Jiang Ling said earlier, but no one understood the term "traumatic attachment disorder".
Li Zhenliang and Jiang Ling, without any hesitation, interrupted her directly: "Xiao Jiang, what exactly is this traumatic attachment disorder?"
Jiang Ling said, "Chen Anping has been in a cycle of 'punishment-pleasing-punishment again-pleasing again' for a long time, so his sense of self-worth has been extinguished and he has rationalized his masochism. Have you noticed that he often examines himself and repeatedly emphasizes that he is useless, and he takes great care of He Meina? This is a kind of morbid attachment to the abuser after long-term psychological trauma."
Hearing Jiang Ling's explanation, Liu Haoran and Zhou Wei understood and nodded repeatedly: "No wonder they say that there is always something hateful about a pitiful person. We sympathize with him, but he keeps emphasizing that Zhao Hongxia has done him a great favor and that he caused this result because he was useless. He gets upset when we scold Zhao Hongxia and talk about He Meina."
Jiang Ling said, "In fact, after he came to Zhao Hongxia's house, he was always Zhao Hongxia's free labor and He Meina's caregiver. He could only get a little emotional recognition through hard work. Alas! The result of long-term PUA is..."
Before he could finish speaking, Liu Haoran raised his hand and asked, "What is PUA?"
It was only then that Jiang Ling realized that it was 1994, and people were very unfamiliar with some terms related to mental illness. The term PUA, which is commonly seen in short videos and public accounts in later years, was not yet widely accepted.
Okay, I guess I'll have to stop here and do some popular science on psychology.
"PUA stands for Pick-up Artist, but it has come to be used to refer to a form of emotional manipulation. It refers to using emotional exploitation to attack someone and control them."
Li Zhenliang and the other two were completely bewildered, their eyes filled with clear confusion.
Jiang Ling could only use examples from jokes she had seen in short videos before:
"You're fat. That's a compliment."
"You are overweight and need to diet and exercise. This is my advice."
"You're fat, no one will like you, only I will accept you. That's PUA."
"Oh—" Li Zhenliang and the other two said in unison, "So, a beating followed by a sweet treat is PUA."
Jiang Ling shook her head: "It's not that simple. PUA has a sophisticated set of tactics. The first step is to belittle and suppress, the second step is to use a combination of carrot and stick to manipulate emotions, the third step is to induce them to make efforts and perform well, and the final fourth step is to completely tame them, even if they are humiliated in public, they will still try to make amends for them."
Li Zhenliang immediately understood and walked to the blackboard to write the four words "belittle and suppress": "Ah, right, right, like Zhao Hongxia, who started by cursing people, saying that Chen Anping was useless, incompetent, and no one liked him... Through this kind of verbal belittling and suppression, Chen Anping lost all his confidence."
Jiang Ling explained it clearly, and with the case of Chen Anping right in front of him, Liu Haoran excitedly stood up and wrote the four characters "suddenly hot and cold" on the blackboard.
“I understand! The second step is to play hot and cold, to keep Chen Anping’s heart in turmoil. You see, when Chen Anping was about to leave, Zhao Hongxia made him sweet and sour pork ribs and scrambled eggs with tomatoes. But once he calmed down, they started to put him down, saying things like, ‘You’re useless, no one but us would want you.’”
Zhou Wei stopped taking notes, looked carefully at the words written on the blackboard, and went over to add four words: "Inducing Payment".
"As the saying goes, the more you give, the less you want to give up. Chen Anping worked in Zhao Hongxia's restaurant for ten years and even repeated a grade to accompany He Meina in her studies. He has invested too much in these two people, so it's understandable that he would be reluctant to give them up. It's no wonder he spoke up for them. Alas! This step is really cruel."
Jiang Lingchong nodded to everyone in approval: "Very good."
She turned around and wrote the words "completely tamed" on the blackboard, and everyone's faces turned solemn.
It's incredibly cruel to destroy someone's self-esteem by belittling and suppressing them, and to emotionally manipulate and exploit Chen Anping!
Li Zhenliang slammed his fist on the table: "Damn it! This is too cruel!"
Liu Haoran was also very angry: "I was wondering why Chen Anping was so honest. He was slapped in public by He Meina, and all the food and groceries he had worked so hard to cook and buy were thrown on the ground. He wasn't angry at all. Later, when we wanted to bring He Meina over, Chen Anping even spoke up for her. He has absolutely no self-respect."
Jiang Ling looked at the three angry people present: "This is the four-step emotional exploitation method of PUA. After experiencing PUA for a long time, Chen Anping was basically tamed and became a slave to Zhao Hongxia and He Meina."
The three men shook their heads repeatedly, sighing as they did so.
Li Zhenliang's thinking was quite clear: "Chen Anping was manipulated into becoming a slave, so why do you say he has a tendency to commit violent crimes?"
Liu Haoran suddenly thought of something: "Ah, Xiao Jiang, do you mean that the last straw is what breaks the camel's back? I think Chen Anping is like a camel that keeps working, and Zhao Hongxia and He Meina keep squeezing him, piling straws on his back. One day, when the last straw falls, the burden will exceed his capacity, the camel will break down, and Chen Anping will also collapse."
Zhou Wei quickly followed up: "Chen Anping's breakdown is a sign of a tendency toward violent crime?"
Jiang Ling was very pleased to find that all her friends were getting smarter and smarter.
"That's right. People who have been subjected to PUA for a long time have developed traumatic attachment disorder. Once this attachment disappears, the risk of them resorting to violent resistance is very high. However, their violent tendencies are targeted, and there is no risk of them randomly harming others. In other words, they will not harm others, but only those who have harmed them in the long term."
Zhou Wei flipped through his old notes and thought about it seriously: "Chen Anping is now working for Zhao Hongxia without any complaints. He doesn't have a penny of income and takes care of He Meina every day by bringing her food and vegetables. He is even willing to be beaten. How can you bully such an honest man?"
Li Zhenliang suddenly realized something, his eyes widened, and he gasped, "It's over! Do you guys remember what Chen Anping said? He said that He Meina's child is her only hope in life. If that hope is shattered, do you think...?"
Jiang Ling glanced at Li Zhenliang and smiled, "The direction is correct, continue."
With Jiang Ling's affirmation, Li Zhenliang entered a state of excitement and began to make bold guesses.
"If He Meina causes all sorts of trouble and loses the child, do you think Chen Anping would feel extremely distressed? And then blame He Meina, and even hit her?"
Liu Haoran shook his head: "No. If He Meina had miscarried, Zhao Hongxia would probably use that to blackmail her and blame Chen Anping for not taking good care of He Meina. Chen Anping is a kind person who likes to reflect on himself. Whenever there's a problem, he immediately thinks it's his fault and then treats them even better. How could he possibly hit He Meina?"
"Hmm, that makes sense." Li Zhenliang thought for a moment, then suddenly had a flash of inspiration. "Hey, what if... what if He Meina's child wasn't Chen Anping's at all?"
It must be said that Li Zhenliang is really smart; he's almost got to the truth.
Zhou Wei frowned: "Really?"
Li Zhenliang, having been a father himself, was experienced: "Do you remember that Chen Anping said he had an accidental relationship with He Meina after drinking, and then a month later he found out she was pregnant?"
He had a mysterious smile on his face: "You can find out you're pregnant a month after having sex? In my experience, that's almost impossible."
Liu Haoran and Zhou Wei exchanged a glance: "You mean, He Meina's child isn't Chen Anping's at all, and Chen Anping is just a sucker? My god, that's too much!"
Jiang Ling added fuel to the fire: "Does anyone remember Manager Wang who handled the disputes at the mall?"
"Yes, what's wrong?" the three said in unison.
Li Zhenliang: "He does look quite presentable."
Liu Haoran: "He has a pretty strong ability to handle problems."
Zhou Wei: "Well, it's alright."
Jiang Ling: "I guess He Meina's child is the father of this shopping mall manager."
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Sisters, everyone only lives once. There's no such thing as someone being superior or inferior. Please don't let yourself be manipulated!
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